I'm Marshmallow, and I'm here with my favorite person in

我是棉花糖，我和我最愛的人在一起。

the whole wide world, Lou the Tick!

整個世界，"滴答 "盧！

Yay! (laughs)

Yay!（笑）

- Am I really your favorite person?

- 我真的是你最喜歡的人嗎？

- Of course you are!

- 你當然是！

You're tied for first place

你是並列第一

along with everyone else in the world.

和世界上其他所有人一起。

Yay! (laughs)

Yay!（笑）

- I'm honored.

- 我很榮幸

Well, today we've got a doozy of an episode for ya.

今天我們為你準備了一集精彩的節目。

How to Save The World.

如何拯救世界。

- Where to begin, where to begin?

- 從哪裡開始，從哪裡開始？

- I know where to begin, I brought a list!

- 我知道從何說起，我帶了一張單子!

- As did I.

- 我也是。

- I'll go first!

- 我先走了！

Step one, be nice to everyone!

第一步，要對大家好!

Kindness is contagious, so being kind, even to one person,

善良是會傳染的，所以，善良，哪怕是對一個人。

could start a tidal wave of goodness

可掀起善良的浪潮

that saves the entire world

拯救世界

from a cycle of violence, pain and despair.

擺脫暴力、痛苦和絕望的循環。

Yay!

呀！

- Ha, so I think our lists are pretty different.

- 哈，所以我覺得我們的名單很不一樣。

- Different, but equally valid and wonderful.

- 不同，但同樣有效，同樣精彩。

Go ahead, what's step two?

說吧，第二步是什麼？

- Uh, okay.

- 呃，好吧。

Step two, establish a missile defense shield capable

第二步，建立飛彈防禦盾牌，能夠

of intercepting extraterrestrial missiles

攔截外星飛彈的能力》的報告

above the stratosphere.

平流層以上。

- [Marshmallow] Yay! That's a great one, Lou!

- [棉花糖]耶！這是一個偉大的一個，婁！

And here's another great one!

這裡還有一個很棒的！

Step three, think happy thoughts!

第三步，想開心的事!

- [Lou] That's it?

- 就這樣？

- That's it, Lou!

- 就是這樣，盧！

It's that easy!

就這麼簡單！

Your thoughts manifest themselves through your actions, so--

你的思想通過你的行為表現出來，所以------。

- Hold on, I just gotta interject.

- 等一下，我得插話。

I'm sorry, but it feels like one of us put in effort

我很抱歉，但感覺就像我們中的一個人在努力一樣

and did actual research about how to save the Earth

並對如何拯救地球做了實際的研究。

from an imminent cataclysmic event, and the other person--

而另一個人... ...

- Is you? (giggles)

- 是你嗎？（笑聲）

- Grr!

- Grrr!

No, it's yours that isn't meticulously-researched!

不，是你的沒有經過仔細研究!

Here's what I mean.

這就是我的意思。

Step four, install a shadow government.

第四步，安裝影子政府。

One that isn't beholden to corporate interests

一個不受制於公司利益的公司。

and oligarchs at Big Tin Foil!

和寡頭在大錫箔!

- I thought you loved tin foil!

- 我還以為你喜歡錫箔紙呢！

- I sure did,

- 我當然知道

until I found out the truth about Big Tin Foil!

直到我發現了大錫箔的真相!

It's controlled by Big Chicken, (rooster crows)

被大雞控制了，（公雞叫）。

which is controlled by the Kuwaitis, (lightning crashes)

(閃電墜毀)

which is controlled by Warren Buffett,

該公司由巴菲特控制。

who is secretly an alien!

誰是祕密的外星人！

- [Marshmallow] Ooh!

- [棉花糖] 哦！

That reminds me of step five, plant a flower.

這讓我想起了第五步，種花。

Yay!

呀！

- What?!

- 什麼？

How did my manifesto remind you of planting a flower?

我的宣言是如何提醒你種花的？

How's planting a flower going to save the world?

種一朵花怎麼能拯救世界？

- By giving a ladybug a flower pedal bed

- 通過給瓢蟲一個花圃

to sleep on every night.

每天晚上睡覺的時候。

Yay! (laughs)

Yay!（笑）

- I've had enough of this,

- 我已經受夠了

Lou's taking control of the airwaves!

盧控制了電波！

Step six, we broker an agreement

第六步，我們達成協議

between the Illuminati, the Masons,

光明會，共濟會之間，

and the elementary school secretaries.

和各小學書記。

That's a manifesto, baby.

這是一個宣言，寶貝。

Step seven, we build a time machine

第七步，我們建立一個時間機器

because we need to be carbon neutral yesterday.

因為我們昨天要做到碳中和。

You better bet that's a manifesto!

你最好打賭，這是一個宣言！

Step eight, we eat the rich!

第八步，我們吃富人!

- [Marshmallow] Step nine, say something nice

- 第九步，說點好聽的

about yourself into the mirror!

對著鏡子看自己

- [Lou] Do not listen to Marshmallow!

- 不要聽棉花糖的話！

Step 10, begin construction on a city near the Earth's core,

第十步，開始在地心附近建設一座城市。

where minerals are plentiful and gamma rays are minimal.

礦物質豐富而伽馬射線極少的地方。

- [Marshmallow] Step 11, everyone give Lou a hug!

- 第11步，大家給小盧一個擁抱！

- No, no one give me a hug!

- 不，沒有人給我一個擁抱！

Hey, stay away!

嘿，別過來！

Ah! Love, my only weakness!

啊！愛情，我唯一的弱點！

No!

不！

- You! Take us to your leader.

- 你！帶我們去見你的上司

We have come to destroy Earth.

我們是來毀滅地球的

- Aw, could you please not destroy Earth?

- 噢，你能不能不要破壞地球？

Please?

求你了？

- Well, I guess since you asked so politely,

- 好吧，我想既然你這麼有禮貌地問了。

we'll let your planet live.

我們會讓你的星球活下去。

Thanks for being so kind.

謝謝你的好意。

Most planets try to blast us with missile defense shields.

大多數行星都想用飛彈防禦盾牌轟擊我們。

- Aww, I'm sorry, don't be sad.

- 啊，對不起，不要傷心。

Everyone give the alien a hug!

大家給外星人一個擁抱！

- Well, thank you so much!

- 嗯，非常感謝你！

(alien yells)

(外星人的叫聲)

- Yay! (laughs)

- Yay!（笑）

(triumphant music)

(凱歌)

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)