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  • Jaiden: Well would you look at that, the first video i'm posting in 2017. In a year we

    哇你們看看,2017年我PO的第一支影片

  • can look back at this video and say, "We

    一年後,當我們回頭看這部影片時,就可以說:

  • had no idea what we had coming". So

    我還真不知道我們以前經歷過了這樣的時期

  • another year has passed which means we're all

    又一年過去了表示我們

  • one year older which means we're growing

    都老了一歲,也表示我們就跟其他人一樣都在成長,

  • as people which- ah-.. Yeah this is a stretch I

    也就表示...嗯這句話越變越長了,我不知道怎麼轉到這個話題的

  • didn't have a transition as a youngster I

    當身為一個小小孩時

  • was prone to believing people pretty

    我很容易就二話不說地相信

  • much unconditionally

    人們所說的話

  • as with most children. I just had too

    就像大部分的小孩一樣

  • much trust for my own good, like, "Oh

    我就只是太過於信任他人了,就像:

  • would anyone have any reason to lie to

    「喔,其他人怎麼會有理由對我說謊呢?

  • me,

    這世界只充滿了好人跟純潔的事物!」

  • the world is full of nothing but nice

    當然我現在已經脫離

  • people and purity!", of course I've grown out

    那種單純的心理,也變得更加警覺了

  • of that mentality and am a lot more

    但曾經有段時間

  • cautious. But for a while people could

    人們如果告訴我任何事,我都會相信他們

  • just tell me things and I'd just believe

    我常常在想那些人們塞進我腦袋裡,

  • them.

    那些比扯鈴還扯的謊言,而且我把它們當成事實

  • I got thinking about all the ridiculous

    而現在我決定列出那些最誇張的謊言

  • things people put in my head that I

    然後只是讓你知道一下

  • stored as fact, and I decided to make a

    在這些故事發生的時候,我只有,大概,七歲或更小吧

  • list of the craziest ones, and also just

    別擔心

  • letting you know I was, like, younger than

    我並不是前幾個月才發現那些不是真的

  • 7 in all of these stories. Don't worry

    當我一年級的時候

  • I didn't just find out these things

    不知道為甚麼但我媽告訴我鋁箔紙有毒,

  • aren't true like a couple months ago or

    如果我一旦咬了,我就會死掉

  • anything. When I was in first grade for

    有點奇怪但我想我知道為甚麼我媽會這麼說的理由...?

  • some reason my mom told me aluminum foil

    想當然地,咬著鋁箔紙可能導致(微小的)電流通過

  • is poison and if I ever bit I'd die. A bit

    基本上如果鋁箔紙與

  • strange but I think I know the idea

    牙套、補牙的金屬,或者像這樣的東西

  • behind it...?

    接觸的話呢,他們會產生電流反應

  • Apparently biting foil can induce a

    造成一點點的觸電。

  • """galvanic shock"""

    但小時候的我只想說

  • Basically if the oil comes in contact

    牙齒→和鋁箔紙接觸→死翹翹

  • with braces, metal fillings, something

    因此我嚇死了

  • like that the medals will react with

    事實上我當時根本沒戴牙套或有任何

  • each other and create a little electric

    金屬的東西在我嘴巴裡頭

  • shock. But all I knew as a kid was

    如果我試看看咬下去的話,根本不會發生任何事情

  • Teeth > contact with aluminum foil > Death. And I was

    我也記得隔天我去學校的時候

  • petrified

    告訴我朋友說:「你知道嗎?

  • I didn't even have braces or anything

    如果你咬了鋁箔紙的話,你就會死!」

  • metal in my mouth at the time so nothing

    然後她回答我:「我想我曾經咬過鋁箔紙欸。」

  • what even happened if I tried it. I also

    之後我想:「那為甚麼你沒死?」

  • remember going to school the next day

    蚱蜢會朝你的鞋子裡吐酸液。

  • and telling my friend, "Did you know that

    這個可能也需要解釋一下

  • if you bite aluminum foil you'll die?" And she

    我那時在下課時間和朋友

  • goes I think, "I've bit foil before

    光腳在草原裡跑來跑去

  • and I was like "how are you not dead?" Grasshoppers spit acid in

    當我們回去之後,我們要把鞋子穿上時

  • your shoes

    有一隻小小的蚱蜢坐在我右腳的鞋底

  • This one probably needs explaining to

    「你們看!有一隻好可愛的蚱蜢在穿我的鞋欸!」

  • I was at recess with some friends and we

    然後我有個朋友就說:

  • are running around in the grass

    「喔我的老天啊,蚱蜢會吐酸液欸!快把它拿走!」

  • without our shoes on. When we went back to put

    然後我們全部人開始慌張了起來

  • them on there was a little grasshopper

    但其實那隻蚱蜢早就在我的鞋子裡死了

  • sitting at the bottom of my right shoe.

    我查了網路為什麼她會這麼想

  • "Guys look, a cute little grasshopper is

    結果其實是蚱蜢會吐一種棕色液體

  • wearing my shoe!" And one of my friends

    以保護自己別被天敵吃掉

  • goes, "Oh my god, grasshoppers spit acid!

    這種棕色液體就叫做菸草汁

  • Get it out!" And then we all start panicking

    雖然說這有一丁點偏酸性

  • at the fact that there was a death grasshopper

    但是它最糟也只會讓你的衣服弄髒而已

  • in my shoe.

    他們幾乎無害,但喔老兄,不,當時的我已經在腦袋裡

  • I looked up like she could have thought

    想像出一個超級無敵可怕的酸液

  • that and it actually is a fact that

    只要任何東西碰到它,都會被溶出一個大洞

  • grasshoppers can spit a brown liquid to

    還有,只是說說而已

  • protect themselves from predators

    但我並不是指說迷幻藥(跟酸液同字),雖然

  • it's called tobacco juice and even

    那感覺幾乎一樣嚇人

  • though it's slightly acidic

    說到弄髒衣服,

  • the worst you really can do is stain your

    我有一次在班上吃午餐的時候

  • clothes. It's pretty much harmless but

    有一個男生拿出了一包

  • oohooho dude, no, I had the image in my head of

    他媽媽幫他帶的無花果籽

  • some Breaking Bad hydrofluoric acid

    我們班上很多人沒看過這種東西

  • dissolved through everything it touches

    畢竟無花果算是一種異國水果

  • kinda mean. Also just saying I didn't

    所以這引起了很多人的注意

  • mean the drug acid even though that

    我們都在問一堆有關

  • could be equally terrifying.

    無花果的問題

  • Speaking of staining clothes I was at

    然後那男生說:「你知道無花果籽

  • lunch one day with the rest of my class

    可以弄髒你的衣服

  • and one boy took out a bag of

    而且你永遠洗不乾淨嗎?

  • pomegranate seeds his mom packed for him in

    哇!那一定是個很強的水果

  • his lunch. A lot of us hadn't seen them

    永遠洗不掉?永遠不可能?

  • before because it's a bit of an exotic

    連強大力量如

  • fruit. So it cost of attention and we are

    OxiClean強力洗衣精

  • all asking a bunch of questions about

    把最難搞的污漬也清潔溜溜

  • them.

    然後我們就看著那男生坐在

  • The boy said, "Did you know pomegranate

    離袋子很遠的地方吃著他的無花果籽

  • seeds can stain your clothes and it'll

    因為他不想要把汁液噴到他身上

  • never come out?!?"

    現在再回頭看,這絕對是他媽媽用誇飾法來嚇小孩

  • *GASP* Woah! That must be one powerful fruit!

    因為她不想要處理那些髒污

  • It never comes out? Never ever forever?

    這算是一種當父母的騙術,如果要我來說的話

  • Not even with the power of *BILLY MAYS WALKS IN* OXICLEAN

    這有點詭異她在世界上的某處而她根本不知道

  • LAUNDRY STAIN REMOVER IT GETS

    她不小心也給了我那個(錯誤的)知識

  • THE TOUGH STAINS O U T and then we watched the

    接下來這個其實有點常見

  • kitty to bag a pomegranate seeds sittin

    而我想有很多人也有被

  • sideways at the seats on the space next

    灌輸這種迷思很久很久

  • to him because he didn't want to spill

    坐得太靠近電視會傷害你的眼睛

  • 'em on himself.

    我也對這做了一點小調查

  • Looking back it was definitely just his

    雖然說這件事聽起來很像是真的

  • mom exaggerating because she didn't want to have

    但顯然沒有任何確實存在的證據顯示說

  • to deal with stains and laundry. A slight

    坐在電視前會對你的眼睛造成危害

  • parenting trick if I do say so myself.

    但小小Jaiden相信了。

  • It's weird to think she's out there

    你知道我因為那件迷思做了什麼嗎?

  • somewhere and she doesn't even realize

    站在電視的正前方

  • she accidentally taught me that lesson too.

    嗯,因為某些原因我小時候我真的很想要很想要一副眼鏡

  • This was actually kind of common to

    我不知道那想法打哪兒來的

  • believe and I think a lot of people have

    我真的超喜歡眼鏡,也想要一副

  • been passing this myth around for a long

    所以當沒有人在看的時候,我會偷偷走到

  • time. Sitting too close to the TV is bad

    電視的正前方然後就這麼盯著它

  • for your eyes. I did research on this one

    我跟它的距離應該只有大約2.5公分吧

  • as well and even though it might seem

    「這一定會讓我戴眼鏡。」這沒用,很明顯地

  • like it could be true

    我其實視力還蠻不錯的說

  • there's apparently no actual evidence

    說不定站得離電視太近還可以增進你的視力

  • that sitting in front of the TV is

    不過我很高興我的視力減弱計畫沒有成功

  • damaging to your eyes. but 'ol little 'ol

    因為有眼鏡看起來很不舒服又很不方便

  • Jaiden believed it and you know what I did

    我要向那些戴眼鏡、隱眼或角膜塑型片人致上最高敬意

  • with that information? Stand directly in

    願你們事事順心

  • front of the TV.

    這讓我們這些沒有戴眼鏡的人都忘了

  • Yeah, for some reason when I was younger

    有好視力是多好的事情了

  • I really, really wanted glasses

    接下來這個跟有點相關,因為這又談到眼睛了

  • I don't know where that came from, I just

    如果你試著用你的眼睛往後看到你的腦

  • liked the look of glasses and wanted

    你的眼睛就會卡住,然後你就會永遠看不到了

  • them. So when no one was looking I would go up

    這和另外一個眼睛迷思有一點像:

  • to the TV screen and stare at it. Like

    如果你太常鬥雞眼的話,你的眼睛就永遠會變成那樣喔

  • one inch away from my face.

    我從來沒有相信鬥雞眼那個,

  • "this will get me glasses" but it didn't

    但我曾經相信永遠看不到的這個

  • work, obviously. I actually have really good eyesight.

    有一個朋友有一次告訴我如果你一直把眼睛向後轉

  • Maybe standing too close to the TV

    你可能可以看得到你的大腦

  • will improve your vision. But yeah I'm

    然後我們花了一整天嘗試能不能辦到

  • glad my eyesight sabotage plan didn't

    之後我回到家,我問我媽媽這件事是不是真的

  • work because having glasses just seems

    然後她說:「不要這樣做,你的眼睛會卡在裡面。」

  • like a hassle and inconvenience. Tip of the hat

    我想我會這麼快就相信的原因是

  • hat to anyone out there with glasses or

    因為如果你真的試著把眼球往上翻,會有一點痛

  • annoyed by them. Wish you the best; we

    畢竟他們並不是被設計拿來做這樣的動作的

  • annoyed by them. Wish you the best; we

    而我想那就像是你的身體在說:

  • people without those things forget how

    「不要再推了,這是個警告!」

  • good we have it.

    而直到現在

  • This was a bit related because it's

    我還是會怕把眼睛逼到他們的「旋轉極限」

  • about eyeballs again. If you try to use

    我不知道除了這個詞,我還能怎麼說

  • your eyes to look back into your head

    我知道這不是真的,但這還是一直被我放在心上

  • at your brain, they'll get stuck and you'll be

    我很怕我永遠都會瞎掉

  • blind forever. It's a bit of a spin-off

    然後最後一個我小時候相信的最扯的事

  • of the other eyeball myth of, "If you

    嗯...我不知道這怎麼發生的

  • cross your eyes too much, they'll get

    沒有人跟我講過,我真的不知道

  • stuck like that!" I never believed that

    我的腦袋當時出了什麼差錯,但我曾經將

  • one, but I believed this brain one.

    「破傷風」和...

  • A friend told me once that if you tried to

    「愛滋病」搞混

  • look at the back of your head with your

    我不知道我怎麼會這麼認為

  • eyes, you might be able to see your brain

    當時我根本還不知道愛滋病是什麼

  • and we spent the whole day trying to do it.

    然後我也覺得我頻道的內容大部分都比較需要大人陪同觀賞,

  • Then when I went home I asked my mom

    所以如果你是個小小孩正在看

  • about it and she said, "Don't do that,

    而你不知道愛滋病是什麼...

  • they'll get stuck." *T R A U M A* I think I believe it so

    再過幾年,你父母自然會告訴你

  • quickly because if you try it does kinda

    這是個你現在不用擔心的疾病

  • hurt your eyes a bit because they're

    只有大人需要擔心

  • not really supposed to be able to look

    所以呢,對,我曾經以為「破傷風」叫做「愛滋病」

  • back into your head like that. And I

    從受感染的傷口得到的疾病,對我來說叫做愛滋病

  • thought that was like your body saying

    而最糟的一次經驗是

  • "Don't push it!"

    有一次某人不小心拿一支生鏽的鏟子割傷自己

  • "This is a warning!" And even to this day

    我還記得我說:

  • their "rotation limit"

    「小心喔,你可能會得到愛滋病!」

  • their "rotation limit"

    蛤?為什麼?!

  • I don't know how else to say it. I know it's not

    為甚麼這會發生在我身上?!

  • of my mind (which I'll never be able to

    我不知道我腦子到底出了什麼差錯還有我怎麼會把這兩者搞混

  • see). And finally the most ridiculous

    但隨便啦我現在知道差別了,這才是重點

  • see). And finally the most ridiculous

    但我有時還是會口誤把「破傷風(Tetanus) 」講成「俄羅斯方塊(Tetris)」

  • thing I believed so I don't know how

    「小心喔,你可能會得俄羅斯方塊!」

  • this happened

    我最後在製作這部影片學到了很多知識

  • no one told me this I don't understand

    既然我今天拆穿了這麼多樁謊言

  • where I went wrong here, but somehow I

    我要跟你們一個我最近發現的實話