Name: 克雷格-弗格森講述世界上最古老的笑話｜Netflix是個笑話 (Craig Ferguson Tells The Oldest Joke In The World | Netflix Is A Joke)
Uploaded: 2021-01-14T11:23:04.000Z
Duration: 5 min 12 s
Description: 【看影片學英語】數萬部 YouTube 影片，搭配英漢字典即點即查，輕鬆掌握單字發音與用法，長久累積看電影不必再看字幕。

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Sure it's true. Why the fuck not? You know...

"Fake news!" "Fuck you it's true." All right...

Everything's fuckin' true. But this is true.

What happened is my friend Cara,  who is an Egyptologist,

she calls me up from Egypt and says,  "We found this joke."

I was like, "That's great.  Tell me the joke."

So she tells me the joke, but I don't speak Ancient Egyptian.

It was like, "Owl, owl, guy  with a dog's head." And I'm like...

Wow, I had no idea so many  Ancient Egyptians were here this evening.

So she tells me the English translation of the joke, and I'm like, "That's weird.

I'm like, "I thought Drew was from Cleveland."

So I called up Drew, and I said, "Hey man, you know that--

That joke you told me?" And I tell him the joke.

I said, "That's the oldest joke  in the world."

It's getting more and more stupid,  isn't it? All right, no, this is true.

I said, "You know that joke you told me?" And I tell him the joke.

I said, "That's the oldest joke  in the world,"

and he said, "That is weird." And I said, "Yeah!"

He said, "No, what's weird about it is I didn't tell you that joke."

And he was like, "You shut up, Craig Ferguson!"

I was like, "No I won't!" He was like, "No, I won't!"

Then we started to kind of tickle fight, then we were kissing. We were kissing.

The way I heard the joke, it wasn't--  It wasn't set in Ancient Egypt,

but in every respect, it's exactly the same joke.

It's about two hunters, but the way I heard about it,

it was, you know, it was set  in a gentleman's club in Victorian times.

It was very different  to a gentlemen's club now.

You know, a gentleman's club now is like, "Hey! Give me a dollar,

I'll give you chlamydia," but back then...

So here's the joke. Anyway, the joke is this:

It's two hunters: An old hunter and a young hunter,

and they're going through the trophy room of this club, you know,

and the old hunter is showing off. He's looking at the heads on the wall,

Do you remember that was the thing that everybody in the world was mad at?

"This a lion that I shot in Africa. It's a very frightening story.

I was just walking through the jungle, and the lion lept out at me.

Came towards me, I was like, 'Oh!' And he's coming towards me,

Sharp-sharp claws,  bitey-bitey mouth, scary eyes,

I was like... [pants] and he comes very close,

I take out my gun, shot him right between the eyes."

The young hunter says, "Good, sir. Good. Well done."

This is a very similar story. This is a tiger.

I was walking through the Jungle in India,

this tiger jumped out at me, stripey face, scratchy claws, bitey mouth.

I take out my gun, and I shot him right between the eyes."

He goes, "Yeah, and here, the scariest story of all:

The rhinoceros. I was walking across the Serengeti,

and I heard, 'Thumpity-thump thump. Thump, thump, thump.

He's coming towards me,  big stompy feet and a big spiky.

He's coming towards me, stompy, spiky, he's gonna kill me!

I take out my gun, and I'm like, 'Oh!' I drop my gun, and...

The young hunter says, "I would have too. That sounds terrifying."

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克雷格-弗格森講述世界上最古老的笑話｜Netflix是個笑話 (Craig Ferguson Tells The Oldest Joke In The World | Netflix Is A Joke)

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