Even if you don't feel it right now, even if you don't think it even if you don't believe it believe may I?

即使你現在沒有感覺到，即使你沒有想到，即使你不相信，相信可以嗎？

Strongly.

強烈。

I encourage everybody to challenge the notion of feeling like your selfish if you love yourself or you'll selfish if you have compassion for yourself, because I can promise you that if you take the time to really value yourself and put yourself first and nurture yourself in the way that you would your best friend or your child you love or you'll love on, then you will be so much broader on so much bigger and have so much more love and compassion for others that the world will be a much more beautiful place.

我鼓勵大家去挑戰這樣的概念：如果你愛自己，你就會自私，如果你對自己有同情心，你就會自私，因為我可以向你保證，如果你花時間真正重視自己，把自己放在第一位，以你會你最好的朋友或你愛的孩子或你會愛上的方式來培養自己，那麼你就會在這麼大的範圍內，對別人有更多的愛和同情，世界將是一個更美麗的地方。

My name is common Braintree, and I'm here to share my story.

我的名字是普通的Braintree，我在這裡分享我的故事。

My story is a story of hope, and it's also proof that you can go through all sorts of things and that there is a chance to recover.

我的故事是一個充滿希望的故事，也證明了你可以經歷各種事情，有機會恢復。

It started out for May.

開始是為了5月。

As young as I could remember, I always felt like I didn't understand the world didn't make sense to me I didn't feel like I was the same as anybody else, So it led me.

在我的記憶中，我一直覺得我不明白這個世界對我來說沒有意義，我不覺得我和別人一樣，所以它引導我。

Teoh start searching from a very, very young age, even as young as 67 years old, that I was looking for some sense of hopes on sense of happiness.

Teoh從非常非常年輕的時候就開始尋找，甚至年輕到67歲，我是在尋找一些希望感的幸福感。

When I was 14 years old, I discovered the power of surfing.

在我14歲的時候，我發現了衝浪的力量。

I realized, well, surfing is something that might give May some life, some freedom, something joyful.

我意識到，好吧，衝浪是可能給梅一些生命，一些自由，一些快樂。

And so my eyes got opened up to so many different possibilities and for seven years that managed to at least suppress and prevent me from this other side to May, this darker hidden side of where I didn't feel like the world made sense.

於是我的眼睛被打開了，看到了很多不同的可能性，七年來，至少成功地壓制和阻止了我對梅的這另一面，這黑暗的隱藏的一面，我覺得這個世界沒有意義。

So then I went into a really critical event.

所以後來我進入了一個非常關鍵的事件。

It was a six dog W Chris surfing event, and it was the event that was either gonna make me get onto the women's world circuit to all or not.

那是一場六狗W克里斯的衝浪比賽，那是一場要麼讓我進入女子世界巡迴賽的比賽，要麼不進入。

And when I rocked up at the event, they told me that I wasn't in the event.

而當我在活動中搖搖欲墜時，他們告訴我，我不在活動中。

It was like the lead had come off in this big wave off.

在這大浪淘沙的過程中，就像鉛字脫落了一樣。

Problems just became exposed.

問題就這樣暴露出來了。

I didn't have that outlet anymore to suppress and push it, push it down.

我已經沒有那個出口去壓制和推動它，把它推倒。

Which leads me to the next part of my journey.

這讓我進入了我旅程的下一個環節。

I decided that maybe searching deeper into a spiritual journey, I might be able to find the answers.

我決定，也許在精神之旅中深入尋找，我也許能找到答案。

So I booked a trip to the dialect Lama One bag backpack on my back and off I went to India thinking that it was just gonna be as easy and Cruzi as all my other travels had Bean in the past.

於是，我訂了一個旅行方言喇嘛一包背上揹包就去了印度，以為這只是會像我過去的其他旅行一樣簡單和克魯茲豆。

But then when I got to India and arrived at the Delhi airport and there wasn't many hotels available because it was in the middle of the night and so I had to just take this really crabby, really shaped really nasty to be honest hotel that that nine, I didn't get much sleep.

但是當我到了印度，到達德里機場的時候，並沒有多少酒店可以入住，因為是在半夜，所以我只好就住這個真的很暴躁，真的很形似真的很討厭的酒店，說實話，那個九，我沒怎麼睡。

It'll and I was worn down.

它將和我被磨損。

So all I could think about was getting on this bus and I would be with the Dalai Lama.

所以我滿腦子想的都是坐上這輛車就能和達賴喇嘛在一起了。

And I was about to book my ticket with this agency and a little boy will young boy, 12 14 year old boy came over to me and he started chatting to me and he said, Oh, diet book with this agency because they were involved with the murder of a lady named Dawn Griggs, who was an Australian who had been there three weeks before.

我正準備和這家中介公司訂票，一個小男孩將小男孩，12歲14歲的男孩走過來，他開始和我哈拉，他說，哦，減肥書與這家中介公司，因為他們與一位名叫道恩-格里格斯的女士的謀殺案有關，她是一個澳大利亞人，三週前曾在那裡。

May you, he could tell that I was looking stressed and a little bit bewildered, and he said He'll he'll look after May he'll take me to a government tourist agency.

梅你，他看得出我的壓力很大，有點茫然，他說He'll he'll look after May he'll take me to a government tourist agency.

Turns out that they were a non government tourist agency and they were running a scam, and that instead of getting me to where I wanted to go, they ended up coercing and manipulating May to go to a place called Catch Me.

原來他們是一個非政府的旅遊機構，他們是在搞騙局，他們沒有把我帶到我想去的地方，而是最後脅迫和操縱May去了一個叫Catch Me的地方。

When I got off the plane, the brother off the the young men, that was that it actually sold me the ticket.

當我下飛機的時候，兄弟下了那幾個年輕人，那是它居然把票賣給了我。

His brother was there waiting to pick me up.

他哥哥在那裡等著接我。

And before I even got Teoh the place where I would be supposedly only staying for a couple of nights, Hey had found a way to stop manipulating and pressuring May into a fearful place that a men must batch for women here and that I should that I must hand over my tickets and my passports and my bank, Hud's and everything to him so that he can take care of that.

而在我還沒有得到Teoh的地方，我將是應該只住了幾個晚上，嘿已經找到了一個方法，停止操縱和壓力梅到一個可怕的地方，一個男人必須批為女人在這裡，我應該，我必須把我的機票和護照和我的銀行，赫德的和一切都交給他，讓他可以照顧。

Because if I was to be caught out as a woman.

因為如果我作為一個女人被抓出來。

He without a man matching form A that I would be in a lot of trouble and a lot of danger.

他如果沒有一個與A表格相匹配的男人，我就會有很多麻煩和很多危險。

So that happened within the first hour off arriving and catch me.

所以，發生在第一個小時內到達，並趕上我。

And and there wasn't really any options for May to go and run to someone Teoh get, like, some sort of help from someone that spoke English that could understand me.

而且也沒有真正的任何選擇 梅去和運行的人Teoh得到一樣，某種幫助 從別人說英語，可以理解我。

And I was already really, really scared.

而我已經非常非常害怕了。

So, you know, within the first hour, I felt like I was already being captivated and losing all my power and freedom and control to e didn't think I was ever going to leave for for most of that time.

所以，你知道，在第一個小時內，我覺得我已經被迷住了，失去了我所有的力量和自由，並控制到E沒想到我曾經離開的大部分時間。

At some point in the in the journey, the oldest brother did start to get really curious as to how much money my parents had.

在旅途中的某個時刻，大哥確實開始非常好奇我父母有多少錢。

And so he forced me to make a phone call to my father.

於是他逼著我給父親打了一個電話。

That was the phone call that was able to drop the number of of where I actually Waas.

這是能掉號的電話，我其實華斯的地方。

And so that was the way that they were able to get the embassies and the police in Australia and in India working all together to track down where I waas and implement a rescue, and they sent police one afternoon and I felt it literally just walked me up.

這就是他們能夠讓澳洲和印度的大使館和警察一起工作的方式，以追蹤我在哪裡，並實施救援，他們派警察在一個下午，我覺得它從字面上只是走我。

And I realized that that I might actually get toe leave.

我意識到，我可能真的會得到腳趾假。

I might actually get toe leave off this boat and have life again in the way where I can take my freedom Backwards can be mine again.

我可能真的會離開這艘船，重新擁有生活的方式，在那裡我可以把我的自由，向後可以是我的。

It's taken May 15 years to be able to even acknowledge that, and to release myself from the shame and the guilt off the experience and to not feel like it's my fault.

我花了15年的時間，甚至能夠承認這一點，並釋放自己從羞恥和內疚的經驗，並不覺得這是我的錯。

When I look back now at the whole thing all together, collectively in regards to like who I am right now, in this moment I feel like a whole person, so I feel like I wouldn't take any of it back.

當我現在回過頭來看整個事情的全部，共同就像現在的我，在這一刻，我覺得自己是一個完整的人，所以我覺得我不會把任何的東西拿回來。

I have no regrets because I feel enriched with all the colors of life, all the flavors of life, all the good and the bad, and I've got the wisdom and the experience from all the good and the bad.

我不後悔，因為我覺得自己豐富了人生的色彩，人生的味道，好的壞的都有，我從好的壞的中得到了智慧和經驗。

So for May, it's it's a sense off of this unconditional love all off my whole being and all my experiences and So I've never felt full on more alive and more happy then then then ever.

所以對五月來說，它是... ...它是一種感覺，這種無條件的愛... ...我的整個生命和我的所有經歷... ...所以我從來沒有感覺到充分的... ...更多的活著，更多的快樂，然後再然後。

And I believe that it's because of my life, so I wouldn't I wouldn't take it back.

而我相信，這是因為我的生活，所以我不會我不會收回。

I strongly I encourage everybody to challenge the notion of feeling like your selfish if you love yourself for your selfish.

我強烈我鼓勵大家挑戰這個概念，如果你愛自己的自私，就會覺得自己的自私。

If you have compassion of yourself, because I can promise you that if you take the time to really value yourself and put yourself first and nurture yourself in the way that you would your best friend or your child that you love or you'll love all, then you will be so much brighter and so much bigger and have so much more love and compassion for others that the world will be a much more beautiful place.

如果你對自己有同情心，因為我可以向你保證，如果你花時間真正重視自己，把自己放在第一位，以你對你最好的朋友或你愛的孩子或你會愛所有的人的方式來培養自己，那麼你會變得更加明亮，更加大，對別人有更多的愛和同情，世界將是一個更美麗的地方。

So if I was to start working with somebody and they wanted Teoh find out how they could go about loving themselves more and developing that compassion, then the number one tip, I would say to anyone is that whatever you're feeling doesn't matter what it is.

所以，如果我開始與某人合作，他們想讓Teoh發現他們如何去更愛自己，並發展這種同情心，那麼我想對任何人說的第一條建議是，無論你的感覺是什麼，它都不重要。

If it is shame or if it's depression, it's guilt.

如果是羞愧，或者是抑鬱，那就是愧疚。

Anger.

憤怒。

So the tip is whenever these emotions arise.

所以，小編提示，只要出現這些情緒。

Loved, um, don't try to push them away.

喜歡，嗯，不要試圖推開他們。

If you find yourself trying to run away from these emotions or resisting these emotions, then they won't go away.

如果你發現自己試圖逃避這些情緒或抗拒這些情緒，那麼它們就不會消失。

They will keep coming back in another way, shape or form.

他們會以另一種方式、形態或形式不斷回來。

I strongly encourage you to open your arms to that emotion as if it is a part of you.

我強烈鼓勵你張開雙臂，把這種情緒當成是你的一部分。

Because it is.

因為它是。

It's a part of you with unconditional love may make it completely okay to feel it.

這是你的一部分，無條件的愛可能讓你完全可以感受到它。

Know that it's actually feeling the emotion isn't going to hurt you cause it's there anyway.

要知道，其實感受到情緒是不會傷害你的，因為反正它就在那裡。

Welcome it in feeling and see with that, knowing that it's okay.

迎接它的感覺，用這個來看，知道它是好的。

And then you'll be pleasantly surprised that it will actually stop to soften and will stop to shift and dissolve.

然後你會驚喜地發現，它居然會停止軟化，會停止轉移和溶解。

And you can use the breath to help you.

而且你可以用呼吸來幫助你。

So sometimes if it really use stock, just slowing that breathing down into a nice, steady rhythm deep into the belly.

所以有時候如果真的用股票，就把那個呼吸慢下來，變成一個很好的，穩定的節奏，深入到腹部。

Whilst you're just allowing yourself to feel that feeling and get out of the head, don't think so much about it.

當你只是讓自己去感受這種感覺，走出腦袋的時候，不要想那麼多。

Just feel it with add any judgment that's that's the first big step to healing, and it'll take you a long way.

只要感覺到它與添加任何判斷，那就是這是治癒的第一步，它會帶你走很長的路。

My message to people that might be actually currently going through something like some sort of trauma or domestic violence.

我的資訊給人們，可能是實際 目前正在經歷的東西 像某種創傷或家庭暴力。

I know that you're worthy.

我知道你是值得的。

No.

不知道

Even if you don't feel it right now, even if you don't think it even if you don't believe it, believe may.

即使你現在沒有感覺到，即使你沒有想到，即使你不相信，也要相信可能。

You are.

你是。

So where the everyone is important, everyone has value.

所以，在人人都重要的地方，人人都有價值。

And so if you're listening to these words, please, please take them to heart and take some sort of action.

所以如果你在聽這些話，請你把它們記在心裡，並採取某種行動。

Reach out to somebody, anybody and just stopped Teoh Start to give yourself permission to believe that there isn't out because what if one thing I've learned in my journey and this is not just my time in India I've felt so stuck, so lost and that there was no out.

伸出某人，任何人，只是停止Teoh開始給自己許可，相信沒有out，因為如果有一件事，我在我的旅程中瞭解到，這不僅僅是我在印度的時間，我覺得如此卡住，如此迷茫，沒有out。

There was no improvement of my situation, that they always waas that there is always a lot at the end of the tunnel.

沒有改善我的情況，他們總是waas，總有很多在隧道的盡頭。

There isn't out, but you have to be willing to look for You have to be willing to open up your eyes and say, Yes, I'm open to sing that were that out is and it might be really, really small in the beginning.

There isn't out, but you have to be willing to look for You have to be willing to open up your eyes and say, Yes, I'm open to sing that were that out is and it might be really, really small in the beginning. There isn't out.

But if But if you could just hold on to that light that hope and never let go.

但是，如果... ...如果你能緊緊抓住那束光... ...那份希望，永不放手。

Then what you focus on, we're broke and we'll spend more that you can focus on even even the power of visualization and and electrical dreaming.

那麼你關注什麼，我們就破費什麼，我們會花更多的錢，你甚至可以關注可視化和和電夢的力量。

Just dream off a life where you have the environment that you'd like to have people around you in the relationships would like to have the the fun and the joy that you like to feel and just do your best to ignore what is going on.

只要夢斷生活中，你有你喜歡的環境，你身邊的人在人際關係中會有你喜歡的樂趣和快樂，你只需要盡力去忽略正在發生的事情。

The take action to make steps out of the situation.

採取行動，採取措施，擺脫困境。

But do your best to ignore it.

但儘量忽略它。

So I don't feed it with any sort of thoughts or added drama.

所以我不會用任何形式的思想或加戲來餵它。

Just focus on like the solution.

只專注於喜歡的解決方案。

Focus on getting getting one step forward and don't look back.

專注於讓得到向前一步，不要回頭。

That's that's what I did when I was in India and I was coming home.

我在印度的時候就是這麼做的，我回家的時候也是這麼做的。

I just said to myself, Don't look back, Have a look back If I was Teoh, leave you with one truth that I believe that way should or cold all the fire to make our own lives in the world.

我只是對自己說，不要回頭，有一個回頭 如果我是泰奧，留給你一個真理，我相信，方式應該或冷所有的火，使我們自己的生活在世界。

A better place, especially now with what's happening in our world, is no that you are sovereign that you are your own authority, that you have a connection side of you to your own supreme power, highest power.

一個比較好的地方，特別是現在我們這個世界上發生的事情，是不是你是主權你是你自己的權威，你跟你自己的最高權力、最高力量有一個連接面。

And that no one outside of you has a connection with that for used.

而你之外的人都沒有與之聯繫，對於使用。

That's stronger than the one that you have with you.

這比你身上的那個強。

So So you are your authority.

所以，你是你的權威。

You are your own later.

你以後就是你自己的了。

You are your own master and you are very very unit were also beautifully, perfectly unit on that in our uniqueness.

你是你自己的主人，你是非常非常組織、部門也是漂亮的，完美的組織、部門上，在我們的獨特性。

That's where we will fit together perfectly in one big whole universe.

那是我們將完美地融入一個大的全宇宙的地方。

So I wrote my memoir a Dangerous pursuit of happiness so that I could go into a with the details and ride it from a perspective of healing and hot scented nous so that the story wasn't written in this heavy doctor doom and gloom, This pool crazy sad story.

所以，我寫了我的回憶錄一個危險的追求幸福，所以我可以進入一個與細節和騎它從一個角度的治療和熱香nous，所以這個故事不寫在這個沉重的醫生厄運和陰暗，這個池瘋狂的悲傷的故事。

I wanted to run this story so that I could get all the the events and the day child out, but with clarity and with perspective, all love and compassion for myself and for all the other people involved and and think about it and feel it from a place of compassion and love rather than a place of judgment or shame.

我想經營這個故事，讓我把所有的事件和日子都說出來，但要清晰，要有觀點，要對自己和其他所有參與的人都有愛和同情，要從同情和愛的地方去思考和感受，而不是從判斷和羞恥的地方去思考和感受。