and welcome to Story Time.

歡迎來到故事時間。

Today we're doing one of my favorite stories of all time,

今天我們要做的是我最喜歡的故事之一。

The Lion King.

獅子王

Now, I know what you're thinking,

現在，我知道你在想什麼。

you're thinking Orange is gonna come in

你以為橘子君會來嗎？

and totally ruin the story right?

徹底毀了這個故事吧？

- Wrong!

- 錯了！

I just finished watching it

我剛剛看完

and I thought it was the cat's pajamas (laughs)!

我還以為是貓咪的睡衣呢（笑）!

- Great to hear.

- 很高興聽到這個消息。

What was your favorite part, Orange?

橙子，你最喜歡的是哪一部分？

- Oh man, how can I choose?

- 天啊，我怎麼能選擇呢？

The animals, the songs, the villain.

動物、歌曲、小人。

Oh don't make me decide,

哦，不要讓我決定。

it was all too good!

實在是太好了

- Okay, okay I won't make you decide.

- 好吧，好吧，我不會讓你決定。

- And the best part is,

- 最棒的是

that I just finished watching it

我剛剛看完

so I remember everything.

所以我記得一切。

Orange won't be ruining today's story, no siree!

橙子不會毀了今天的故事，不會的，陛下!

- Wow, I'm actually excited

- 哇，我真的很興奮

for a Story Time episode for once.

為一個故事時間的情節一次。

- Me too!

- 我也是！

Now let's get started.

現在讓我們開始吧。

- What's with the mullet wig?

- 你的假髮是怎麼回事？

- Just gettin' in the mood

- 只是剛開始的心情

Let's do this thing.

讓我們做這件事。

Woo hoo!

嗚呼！

- Okay.

- 好吧，我知道了

Once upon a time, a new baby prince was born.

從前，一個新的小王子出生了。

And all the animals from

還有所有的動物

the pride lands came to celebrate.

驕傲的土地來慶祝。

There were zebras, elephants.

有斑馬、大象。

- [Orange] Snow leopards, crocodiles.

- [橙色]雪豹，鱷魚。

- [Pear] Giraffes, rhinos.

- 長頸鹿，犀牛。

- [Orange] Rednecks, ATVs and of course,

- 鄉巴佬，亞視，當然還有。

tigers. (tires squeeling)

老虎。（輪胎吱吱作響）

- [Pear] Um, I don't recall any

- 嗯，我不記得有任何的

of those being there,

的那些在那裡。

but the point is there were

但問題是有

a lot of animals.

很多動物。

- [Orange] Exactly, and they all looked up

- 沒錯，他們都抬起頭來了

towards Southern Pride Rock

往南傲巖方向

for a glimpse at the baby.

為一睹寶寶的風采。

The music crescendoed

音樂的高潮

and all the animals went nuts

所有的動物都瘋了

and bam, The Tiger King.

和咣噹，虎王。

- Stop, stop everything. (record scratching)

- 停止，停止一切。（記錄劃痕）

- What?

- 什麼？

What's the matter?

怎麼了？

Was his mullet not long enough?

是他的鯔魚不夠長嗎？

- Orange, I don't think you watched The Lion King.

- 橙子，我想你沒有看《獅子王》。

I think you watched Tiger King.

我想你看了虎王。

- They're not the same thing?

- 他們不是一回事？

- No, they're completely different things,

- 不，它們是完全不同的東西。

just as lions and tigers

如同獅虎

are completely different animals.

是完全不同的動物。

- Hmm, I don't know about that.

- 嗯，我不知道這一點。

Ever heard of a liger?

聽說過裡格嗎？

I learned about it when

我知道它的時候

I watched The Lion King.

我看了《獅子王》。

- You watched Tiger King!

- 你看了《虎王》!

And I can prove it.

我可以證明這一點。

Try to finish this sentence.

試著把這句話說完。

Baby Simba grew to be a ...

辛巴寶寶長成了一個......

- [Orange] Eclectic redneck, zookeeper,

- [橙色]不拘一格的鄉巴佬，動物園管理員。

country music star.

鄉村音樂明星。

- [Pear] Try again.

- 再試一次。

There was someone jealous of Simba

有人嫉妒辛巴

and did not want Simba to become king.

並不希望辛巴成為國王。

That person's name was ...

那個人的名字是...

- [Orange] The witch, Carol.

- [橙色]女巫，卡羅爾。

- [Pear] (groans) Last chance.

- 最後的機會。

After Simba's father died

辛巴的父親去世後

in a wildebeest stampede, Simba ...

在一次野馬奔騰中，辛巴... ...

- [Orange] Realized he'd never

- 意識到他從未

recover financially from this.

從中收回財務。

- Orange, you watched Tiger King!

- 橙子，你看了《虎王》!

- Who cares?

- 誰在乎呢？

It's probably better than your movie anyway.

反正可能比你的電影好。

- We are not gonna debate this!

- 我們不打算辯論這個！

Now then, after his father's death

現在，在他父親去世後

Simba goes away-

辛巴走了...

- [Orange] To prison, where he serves

- [橙]到監獄，在那裡他的服務

22 years for attempting to hire a hit man.

22年，因為企圖僱傭殺手。

- [Pear] (groans) Until one day his father

- 直到有一天，他的父親。

appears in the sky and tells him-

出現在天空，並告訴他 -

- [Orange] You'll never recover

- [橙色]你永遠不會恢復

financially from this.

從經濟上來說，這。

- Orange!

- 橙色！

The Lion King is one of the greatest

獅子王》是最偉大的

Disney films ever made

迪士尼電影

and you are absolutely desecrating it right now.

而你現在絕對是在褻瀆它。

- Pear, Pear, Pear, does The Lion King

- 梨子，梨子，梨子，《獅子王》有嗎？

have incredible songs?

有不可思議的歌曲？

- Yeah.

- 是啊。

- Does it have unforgettable characters?

- 是否有令人難忘的人物？

- Sure.

- 當然可以

- And does it have murder, mayhem and masses?

- 那它有謀殺、混亂和民眾嗎？

- Yes. - Then it really can't be

- 是啊 那就真的不可能了。

that different from Tiger King,

和虎王有什麼不同。

so why don't you relax

所以你為什麼不放鬆

and let me tell the thrilling

讓我來告訴大家一個驚心動魄

conclusion to the story

結局

we both can enjoy,

我們都可以享受。

The Liger King.

虎王。

- [Pear] Oh, good grief!

- 哦，天哪！

- [Orange] Simba returned home to Southern Pride Rock

- 橘子】辛巴回到了南傲巖的家。

to reclaim his throne

奪回王位

only to find that Jeff had stolen the zoo.

卻發現傑夫偷了動物園。

- [Pear] Zoo?

- [梨]動物園？

What Zoo?

什麼動物園？

And who's Jeff? (tiger roars) Ah, what does it matter?

誰是傑夫？(虎吼)啊，這有什麼關係？

The story's already ruined anyway.

反正故事已經毀了。

- [Orange] So Simba and Jeff got into a big fight.

- 辛巴和傑夫大打出手。

Jeff tried to get Simba killed

傑夫想害死辛巴

by putting sardine oil on Simba's foot.

把沙丁魚油塗在辛巴的腳上。

So then Simba bit Jeff's arm off.

所以辛巴就把傑夫的胳膊咬斷了。

But guess what?

但你猜怎麼著？

It wasn't a big deal.

這不是什麼大不了的事。

Nobody sued anybody

沒有人起訴任何人

and the pride lands continued on

和驕傲的土地繼續

as they always had.

他們一直都是這樣。

And everyone lived their best lives

而每個人都過著自己最美好的生活

driving ATVs, wearing cat prints

開著亞視車，穿著貓的指紋

and making horrible country music videos.

和製作可怕的鄉村音樂視頻。

- [Pear] Yeah, pretty sure we're gettin'

- 是的，我們很確定我們要開始了

sued for this.

為此被起訴。

- [Orange] Oh, no!

- 哦，不！

We'll never recover financially! (laughs)

我們的財務狀況永遠不會恢復！（笑）

(groans)

（呻吟）

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)