Welcome to another episode of "The Juice."

歡迎收看另一集的 "果汁"。

The only round table talk show that has round hosts.

唯一一檔有圓形主持人的圓桌脫口秀。

(Orange laughs)

(橙子笑)

- Today's topic com courtesy of Mad attach G&A.

- 今天的話題com由瘋附G&A提供。

If you could travel in time, where would you go and why?

如果你能穿越時空，你會去哪裡，為什麼？

- My, what a timely question.

- 天啊，真是個及時的問題。

(Orange laughs) (audience laughs)

(橙子笑) (觀眾笑)

Now let's squeeze out some answers,

現在讓我們擠出一些答案。

'cause I wanna know: What's "The Juice?"

因為我想知道什麼是 "果汁"？

(audience applauds)

(觀眾鼓掌)

- If I could go back in time, I'd go back to last Thursday.

- 如果我能回到過去，我會回到上週四。

A butterfly landed on a leaf, right outside my window.

一隻蝴蝶落在一片葉子上，就在我的窗外。

It was such a nice moment, yay!

這真是一個美好的時刻，耶!

- Really, Marshmallow?

- 真的嗎，棉花糖？

You could pick any other time in history.

你可以選擇歷史上任何其他時間。

- Oh, in that case, I'd pick yesterday!

- 哦，這樣的話，我就選昨天了!

- Let me guess: 'Cause yesterday a puppy

- 讓我猜猜，因為昨天一隻小狗

snuggled a kitten or something?

抱著一隻小貓什麼的？

- How'd you know? (Marshmallow cheers)

- 你怎麼知道？(Marshmallow cheers)

- Well, I know where I'd go: June 24th, 1957.

- 好吧，我知道我會去哪裡。1957年6月24日

A date forever etched in my mind.

一場約會永遠銘刻在我的腦海裡。

I had just returned stateside from active duty,

我剛從美國現役回來。

in the Southeast Asia.

在東南亞。

And as I stepped off the boat,

而當我走下船的時候。

who should I see but a tall drink of water,

除了一杯高高的水，我還能看到誰呢？

who goes by the name of Marilyn Monroe?

誰叫瑪麗蓮-夢露？

Yes, the Marilyn Monroe!

是的，那個瑪麗蓮-夢露!

We locked eyes.

我們對視了一眼。

There was a shared understanding in that moment,

那一刻，大家有了共同的認識。

which was both physical and I'd even go

這既是身體上的，我甚至會去。

out on a limb and say metaphysical.

冒冒失失地說是玄學。

We conversed for an hour, perhaps two,

我們聊了一個小時，也許是兩個小時。

touching on a range of topics.

觸及一系列主題。

All of which Marilyn spoke to with ease and expertise.

所有這些都是瑪麗蓮輕鬆而專業地講給大家聽的。

As we parted ways, she asked me

分手的時候，她問我

for my landline phone number.

我的座機號碼。

Sure, no problem.

當然，沒問題。

I jotted it on my palm.

我把它記在手掌上。

But it was sweaty, yah see.

但它是汗水，亞看。

I had that affect on women in those days.

我在那個年代對女人有這種影響。

They'd catch the vapors from old Grandpa Lemon.

他們會被老檸檬爺爺的蒸汽薰到。

And as soon as I finished, I saw the final

我一說完，就看到了最後的...

one in my phone number smudge into the number seven.

一個在我的電話號碼塗抹成數字7。

Marilyn was rushed off to some

瑪麗蓮被趕去了一些

red carpet event by her handlers

紅毯活動

before I could correct the mistake.

在我糾正錯誤之前。

And that was that.

就是這樣。

She never called, because she couldn't call.

她從來沒有打過電話，因為她不會打電話。

I came to find out years later

多年後我才發現

that Joe DiMaggio, who she married later that year,

喬-迪馬喬，她在那年晚些時候嫁給了他。

just so happen to have a phone number

恰好有一個電話號碼

strikingly similar to mine!

驚人的相似！

One digit off, in fact, ending in a seven, instead of a one.

差一位數，其實是以7結尾，而不是1。

Quite the tale, yes?

很有故事，是嗎？

(audience applauds) - Woe!

哀哉

- Yeah, quite the tall tale!

- 是啊，相當高的故事！

- I don't believe it for a moment.

- 我一點也不相信。

What do yah have to say to that, Grandpa Lemon?

你有什麼要說的，檸檬爺爺？

- It probably just seems that way to you

- 可能只是你覺得是這樣

'cause you know, you're so short.

因為你知道，你太矮了。

(Orange laughs loudly)

(橙子大笑)

- Nice one, Grandpa Lemon!

- 好樣的，檸檬爺爺!

- I'm surprised no one else has picked the future.

- 我很驚訝沒有人選擇未來。

That's where I'd time travel to.

那是我要去的地方。

I wanna know where technology takes us as a society.

我想知道科技會把我們這個社會帶到哪裡去。

I wanna know what scientific breakthroughs await us.

我想知道有什麼科學突破在等著我們。

- And I wanna see if the butterfly comes back tomorrow!

- 我想看看明天蝴蝶會不會回來!

(Marshmallow cheers)

(Marshmallow cheers)

- I was thinking' a bit bigger, but yeah.

- 我在想 "有點大，但 是的。

That's a reason too.

這也是一個原因。

- The future?

- 未來？

Please, why would I go to the future

拜託，我為什麼要去未來

when I've already seen it?

當我已經看到它？

- Oh my gosh.

- 哦，我的天哪。

Are you about to promote your EDM album again?

你是不是又要宣傳你的EDM專輯了？

- Hey, there's are sounds on this things

- 嘿，這東西有聲音的。

you've never heard before people!

你從來沒有聽說過的人！

This is the future, and the future is

這就是未來，而未來是

entitled the EP to end all EPs.

賦予EP結束所有EP的權利。

Every sound in track seven was recorded

第七軌的每一個聲音都被記錄下來

by wild raccoons I let loose in the recording studio.

由野生浣熊 我在錄音室放任。

Let's have a listen!

讓我們一起來聽聽吧!

- Let's not. (Marshmallow cheers)

- 讓我們不要。(Marshmallow cheers)

- Hey, dang, I only have like 10 of those!

- 嘿，當，我只有像10個這樣的！

Ugh, anyway, it's an easy call for me.

唉，反正對我來說，這是個簡單的決定。

If I could time travel, I'd go back 10 years

如果我可以穿越時空，我會回到十年前

and get in on the ground floor of Bitcoin.

並進入比特幣的底層。

- It's not like you have much of a choice.

- 你又沒有什麼選擇。

That's the only floor you could reach.

那是你唯一能到達的樓層。

(Orange laughs)

(橙子笑)

(Little Apple laughs) - Where would you

(小蘋果笑)--你會在哪裡？

time travel to, Orange?

時空穿越到，橘子洲？

- Mm, probably five seconds ago.

- 嗯，大概五秒鐘前。

I kinda regret what I said to Little Apple just then.

我有點後悔剛才對小蘋果說的話。

I wish I could say something else.

我希望我能說點別的。

- Aw, I appreciate that.

- 哦，我很感激。

Well, let's take it back then.

好吧，讓我們把它帶回去吧。

If I could time travel, I'd go back 10 years

如果我可以穿越時空，我會回到十年前

and get in on the ground floor of Bitcoin.

並進入比特幣的底層。

- More like Bitty-coin once you get involve, am I right?

- 一旦你參與進來，更像是比特幣，我說的對嗎？

(Orange laughs)

(橙子笑)

- Orange, I thought you were going to apologize.

- 橙子，我以為你會道歉。

- Why would I do that?

- 我為什麼要這麼做？

- Nah, I just got a better idea for a joke is all.

- 不，我只是有了一個更好的笑話的想法，僅此而已。

I have a reputation to maintain, you know?

我有一個名聲要維護，你知道嗎？

(Orange laughs)

(橙子笑)

(Little Apple grunts)

(小蘋果咕噥)

Oh, I just thought of an even better joke.

哦，我剛剛想到了一個更好的笑話。

Can we take it back again?

我們可以再拿回去嗎？

- Absolutely not!

- 絕對不是！

(audience laughs) - Okay, okay!

好吧，好吧！

Everybody calm down, 'cause I have a surprise.

大家都冷靜下來，因為我有一個驚喜。

Before the show, I contacted Dr. Bananas.

演出前，我聯繫了香蕉醫生。

And he actually made a real time machine.

而且他還真的做了一臺真正的時光機。

(audience applauds) Come on out, Dr. Bananas!

(觀眾鼓掌)出來吧，香蕉博士!

(audience and panel cheers)

(觀眾和小組歡呼聲)

- Yes, hello!

- 是的，你好！

Thank you for having me.

謝謝你邀請我。

This time machine is a single-use machine.

這臺時光機是一次性使用的機器。

So I'm afraid only one of you will be able to journey

所以，恐怕只有你們中的一個人能夠上路了

to your desired destination.

到你想要的目的地。

(audience and Orange sighs)

(觀眾和橘子君嘆息)

- We can only choose one?

- 我們只能選擇一個？

- My vote's for Grandpa Lemon.

- 我投票給檸檬爺爺。

Partly, because I want 'em to be happy.

部分原因是我想讓他們快樂。

And partly, because I don't believe

部分原因是，我不相信。

his story about Marilyn Monroe for a second.

他關於瑪麗蓮-夢露的故事一秒鐘。

(Grandpa Lemon snoring)

（檸檬爺爺打鼾）

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

- Maybe we should wake 'em up.

- 也許我們應該叫醒他們

I mean, this could change the course of his entire life!

我的意思是，這可能會改變他的一生！

- Wake up, Grandpa Lemon, wake up!

- 醒醒，檸檬爺爺，醒醒吧!

(Grandpa Lemon snoring)

（檸檬爺爺打鼾）

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

- Aye, wake up! - Don't worry,

- 是，醒醒吧！- 別擔心。

I got this!

我得到了這個！

(whipping noise) Wake up!

(鞭打聲) 醒來！

(audience laughs)

（觀眾笑）

(Grandpa Lemons snoring)

（爺爺萊蒙斯打鼾）

Huh, he's out like a light,

咦，他像一盞燈一樣熄滅了。

and he also out of luck.

而他也是運氣不好。

'Cause if he's not gonna use it I will!

因為如果他不用，我就用！

Woo hoo hoo hoo!

嗚呼呼！

- Wait!

- 等等！

(machine engine revs)

(機器發動機轉速)

(racing lightspeed music)

(賽車光速音樂)

- Listen, it's an easy go for me.

- 聽著，這對我來說很容易去。

If I could time travel, I'd go back 10 years

如果我可以穿越時空，我會回到十年前

and get in on the ground floor of Bitcoin.

並進入比特幣的底層。

- At your size, maybe you should

- 以你的身材，也許你應該

stick with Light-coin instead.

堅持用光幣代替。

(Orange and audience laughs)

(橙子和觀眾笑)

- Orange!

- 橙色！

(upbeat folk music)

(國樂)