And how can we love ourselves better?

我們該如何更愛自己？

I was having this conversation with a really good friend of mine recently, and she asked me, "What does self love look like to you?"

最近，我跟一位閨蜜在聊天，然後她問我：「自愛對你來說是什麼樣子？」

I thought about it, and generally it boils down to these three things.

我想了一下，將它歸結於下列這三點。

First of all, to love yourself fully is to accept and embrace yourself for everything that you are, including your strengths, your weaknesses, your flaws, everything.

首先，愛自己就是要全然接受和接納你所擁有的，一切包括優點、弱點和缺點。

You have to love yourself at your best and love yourself even at your worst.

你要愛最好以及最壞的自己。

It's about just embracing who you are and owning it, and not wanting to be anyone else or have a different life, because you should love and accept your life.

自愛就是接納並承認自己，不會想去成為他人，或是想擁有不同的人生，因為你必須愛和接受你的人生。

Love is unconditional, so whatever happens, you still have to love yourself.

愛是無條件的，所以無論如何，你還是要愛自己。

Number two is to learn to forgive, and this comes in two parts.

第二點是學會原諒，而這包括兩個面向。

The first part is: You have to learn how to forgive yourself.

第一個面向是：你要學會原諒自己。

This means not being so hard on yourself.

這表示不要對自己太苛刻。

If you ever make a mistake or you mess up, don't dwell on it.

如果你曾經犯過錯或搞砸事情的話，不要糾結於此。

Just acknowledge it, learn from it, and move on.

你只需要承認它，從中學習，然後繼續前進。

The second part of forgiveness is to learn to forgive others who have hurt you, even if they haven't apologized or even if they don't deserve it.

原諒的第二面向是學會寬恕那些曾經傷害你的人，就算他們從未向你道歉或你認為他們不值得被原諒。

This is hard and it's tricky but if you can do it, then it's extremely powerful.

這很困難，也很棘手，但如果你能做到，這股力量會變得很強大。

When you have an argument with someone or you have a grudge, or there's some sort of unsettled situation, that occupies space in your mind and there's this negative energy where you're always hurting because you haven't gotten over that situation.

如果你與他人起了爭執，或對他人有所不滿，或有未解決的事情，那都會佔據你的腦海，而這些負面能量會讓你痛苦不已，因為你沒能克服那些境遇。

You want to learn to forgive others, not necessarily because they deserve it but because you love yourself too much to let yourself keep hurting over that situation.

你要學會原諒他人，不完全是因為他們值得你這麼做，而是因為你太愛自己，無法讓自己繼續在那些境遇中受到傷害。

It doesn't have to be a verbal connection, you don't have to tell them that you've forgiven them.

這不必是口頭聯繫，你不需要告訴他們，你已經原諒他們了。

It's more for yourself that you've forgiven this person and let go of the situation, just so that you can have inner peace, because forgiving yourself and forgiving others is learning to treat yourself well and it's loving yourself, because you don't want to keep hurting over anything that's happened in the past.

原諒他人多半是為了你自己，不拘泥於那件事，進而得到內心的平靜，因為原諒自己和他人是為了學習善待自己，而這也是自愛，因為不想讓過去所發生的事，繼續傷害自己。

Number three is to take the time to really listen to yourself and do what's best for you.

第三點是花時間傾聽自己的心聲，做對自己最好的事。

In loving yourself, you have to really know yourself and through that, you can do what's best.

在愛自己這件事上，你一定要真的了解自己，這樣你才能知道怎麼做是對你最好的。

So I do this through writing.

我是透過書寫來達成這件事。

Writing is my way of talking to myself.

書寫是我跟自己對話的方式。

I have a bunch of journals and I do stream of consciousness writing which means I just write whatever flows out of me, whatever is off the top of my mind and I keep going.

我有成堆的日記，而且我會不斷有意識的寫下東西，這表示不論我腦中出現什麼，或我想到什麼，我都會把它寫下來。

And I keep writing, writing, and writing until the voice inside of me comes out.

我會不斷地寫下去，直到我腦中的聲音消失為止。

It takes a while to peel off the layers of what's on the surface.

要褪去虛假的表面是需要一些時間的。

You know on the surface, we think about our daily lives and the things that we have to do, but if you keep listening to yourself and keep digging, then you start to find the most honest core of yourself and the voice that is truly you.

表面上，我們想的是日常生活和我們應該要做的事情，但當你仔細傾聽，繼續深入自己的內心，你會開始發現最坦率的自己，和你真正的心聲。

So that's how I get to know myself, and I listen to what I'm really feeling and what I really want.

那麼，這就是我了解以及傾聽自己真實的情感和最想要的東西的方法。

Through that, I try to take action and do the things that complement what I truly want and what's best for me.

透過這樣，我試著採取行動去做那些與我真正想要和對我最好，相輔相成的事情。

So those are my three criteria for self love and how to love yourself better.

以上就是三個我對於愛自己和如何更愛自己的準則。

I'd love to know what do you guys think self love looks like to you?

我很想知道你們對於愛自己的想法是怎麼樣的呢？

Please leave a message in the comments and don't forget to subscribe, share, and like this video.

請在下面留言區中留言，別忘了訂閱、分享、點擊喜歡這支影片。

I'll be back with another one, but in the meantime, try to love yourself a little more.

我會再回來的，同時，請你試著多愛自己一點。

Bye!

再見！