[Meemers voice] It's a very special Christmas TL;DR with me, the grumpy Christmas Meems!

和我一起度過了一個非常特別的聖誕TL;DR，脾氣暴躁的聖誕Meems!

You put me in a sweater or I'll kill you, I'll kill all of you!

你給我穿上毛衣，否則我就殺了你，我就殺了你們所有人!

- Ooh! It is brisk today in Tokyo. - Ooh!

- 哦！今天東京的天氣很好- 哦！

- We are gonna be filming a video today all about... - Christmas in Japan.

- 我們今天要拍一個視頻，關於日本的聖誕節。

I paused because they were like BANG BANG BANG BANG!

我停了下來，因為他們就像邦邦邦邦！

Okay, we're trying again, ready?

好了，我們再試一次，準備好了嗎？

- I can't do this, girl. - Yes, you can. Okay, ready?

- 我不能這樣做，女孩。- 不，你可以的。好了，準備好了嗎？

- Gosh golly, it is cold! - Yep.

- 天哪，好冷啊！- 對啊

Ducky, I think today is the day that we should do a video on Christmas in Japan.

Ducky，我覺得今天是我們應該做一個關於日本聖誕節的視頻的日子。

It's only right.

這是很正確的。

Let's tell people what it's all about on the coldest possible day in Tokyo.

讓我們在東京最冷的日子裡，告訴大家這一切是怎麼回事。

We could have filmed this a week ago when it was warm, and 18.

我們本可以在一週前拍下這個，那時天氣暖和，18歲。

- It was 20 degrees a few days ago! - It was 20 degrees!

- 幾天前的氣溫是20度!- 是20度！

But we were like, "Let's wait until almost Christmas to freeze our butts outside".

但我們當時想，"讓我們等到快到聖誕節的時候，把我們的屁股凍在外面"。

Let's warm up with some coffee!

我們來喝杯咖啡暖暖身子吧！

Okay!

好吧！

- Here! - Thanks.

- 給你！- 謝謝你

It's for your lap.

這是為你的膝蓋。

Thanks love!

謝謝愛

Love youuuuu.

愛你uuuu。

- We even got samples. - Ooooh! - It's filled with Christmas Cheer!

- 我們甚至得到了樣品。- 充滿了聖誕節的氣氛!

What we got here, girl?

我們在這裡得到了什麼，女孩？

[Martina] It looks like... green slime, and red slime, and Halloween.

[瑪蒂娜]它看起來像... 綠色的粘液，和紅色的粘液， 和萬聖節。

This doesn't feel like Christmas at all!

這感覺一點也不像聖誕節!

This is feels...sad!

這感覺......很悲哀!

So we're gonna try to warm up now with some Starbucks drinks, which

所以我們現在要試著用星巴克的飲料來熱身，這... ...

again, if we just shot last week it'd be really nice weather.

再次，如果我們只是拍攝上週 它會是非常好的天氣。

But now we're cold, and hunched over, and the Christmas cheer is lost on us.

但現在我們很冷，彎腰駝背，聖誕的氣氛也不復存在了。

[Simon] Well, what I have is a gingerbread latte which a lot of you might know, and you have a green...

好吧，我有一個薑餅拿鐵 你可能知道很多，你有一個綠色的... ...

sludge latte. What is that? - Okay, so...

汙泥拿鐵。那是什麼？- 好吧，所以...

Where's the Christmas of that?

哪來的聖誕節？

Looks like it's got blood seeping down.

看起來像是有血跡滲下來了。

[Simon] It looks like a murdered Shrek.

看起來像被謀殺的史萊克

- Okay, hang on. - All right.

- 好吧，等一下。- 好吧，等一下。

Oh my god, it's like, so good.

哦，我的上帝，這就像，這麼好。

(sad music)

（悲傷的音樂）

Merry Christmas to the ground.

祝地面的聖誕快樂。

Merry Christmas to the GROUND!

祝GROUND聖誕快樂!

Um, this is supposed to be something pistachio related. Like pistachio Merry Christmas.

嗯，這應該是開心果相關的東西。像開心果聖誕快樂。

And it took me a surprisingly long time to figure out why

而我竟然花了很長時間才弄清楚原因。

pistachio would be part of the Christmas theme.

開心果會是聖誕主題的一部分。

koo-ris-a-mas-u pan-keh-kee

Koo-ris-a-mas-u pan-keh-kee

THAT'S NOT CHRISTMAS.

這不是聖誕節。

That's just normal pancakes!

這只是普通的煎餅！

And then you drew a face on the whipped cream, that's it, look!

然後你在鮮奶油上畫了一張臉，就是這樣，看!

Normal.

正常。

Christmas.

聖誕節。

Normal.

正常。

Chris- what is this atrocity?!

克里斯，這是什麼暴行？

So, what's happening here? Pistachio seems to be the theme this year.

那麼，這裡發生了什麼？開心果似乎是今年的主題。

What's with pistachio with Christmas? Is it because it's green?

開心果和聖誕節有什麼關係？是因為它是綠色的嗎？

(gasp)

（喘氣）

That's it, green and red.

就是這樣，綠色和紅色。

[Simon] You solved it, Sherlock!

你解決了，夏洛克！

You broke the case, yet again!

你又破案了！

I tried to use my pipe, and I'm like "how do you..."

我想用我的管子，我想 "你怎麼..."

What- what is a- how do you smoke a corncob pipe?

什麼--什麼是--怎麼抽玉米棒管？

- Because I'm not used to having pistachio for Christmas. - Yeah.

- 因為我不習慣在聖誕節吃開心果。- 對啊

- At all. So when we talk about

- 完全沒有。所以當我們談論

Christmas flavors with each other,

彼此的聖誕味道。

what are things that come to mind for you like if you were to describe it to somebody?

如果你向別人描述，你會想到什麼？

You mean what I grew up with, or what I saw in the media that I thought I was supposed to have?

你是說我從小到大的經歷，還是我在媒體上看到的我認為我應該擁有的東西？

Because you're supposed to have gingerbread, you're supposed to have like warm cinnamon, and apples,

因為你應該有薑餅， 你應該有像溫暖的肉桂， 和蘋果。

and mulled wines, and I had none of that sh*t growing up.

和麥酒，我沒有這些東西長大。

But I saw it in movies, and I thought that's what people are supposed to have for Christmas.

但我在電影裡看到過，我想這就是人們應該有的聖誕禮物。

Okay, so... uh...

好吧，所以... ... 呃... ...

I thought that was like regular...

我以為那是像普通...

This is the Ghost of Bitter Christmas Past!

這就是過去苦澀的聖誕節的鬼魂!

No, you know, my flavors of Christmas were like turkey, and mashed potatoes, and cranberry.

不，你知道，我的聖誕節的口味 是像火雞， 和土豆泥，和蔓越莓。

- Yeah, same with me. - It's just like Easter.

- 是啊，我也一樣。- 這就像復活節。

- Yeah. - The only difference is that my dad would buy

- 唯一不同的是，我爸會給我買。

Oh Henry bars from the Bulk Barn,

哦，亨利酒吧從散裝貨倉。

and he would hide them in the garage...

他會把它們藏在車庫裡... ...

Yes.

是的，我知道

Up until like Christmas Eve, because he knew that if they were in the house beforehand that I'd eat them sh*ts,

直到像平安夜， 因為他知道，如果他們是在家裡事先 我吃他們的狗屎。

and then he'd bring them into the house.

然後他就會把他們帶進屋裡。

Frozen solid! Like you were chewing on chocolate bones.

冰凍的固體！就像你在咀嚼巧克力骨頭。

- Volume needs to go way down here, has some excitment. - That's my Christmas memory.

- 量需要在這裡走下去，有一些刺激。- 這是我的聖誕記憶。

- It's still soundin' like the Ghost of Christmas Past. - I love it.

- 它仍然聽起來像過去的聖誕節的幽靈。- 我喜歡這首歌

I still asked my parents if they could mail me some, because I missed that Christmas flavor.

我還是問了父母能不能給我郵寄一些，因為我很想念那種聖誕的味道。

Okay, so... that got really specific.

好吧，所以... ... 這得到了真正的具體。

- Yes. Christmas flavors... - Most people...

- 是的，聖誕節的味道...聖誕節的味道...

I mean, I really have no relation for you except for turkey, and cranberry sauce, and gravy.

我是說，除了火雞、蔓越莓醬和肉汁，我和你真的沒有關係。

Eggnog, which our family never drank. Hot apple cider, which our family also didn't drink.

蛋奶酒，我們家從來不喝。熱蘋果酒，我們家也不喝。

It was only until I started like, working at Starbucks that I tried eggnog.

直到我開始在星巴克工作，我才嘗試喝蛋酒。

That's what I thought like, white America ate for Christmas.

這就是我想的那樣，美國白人吃的聖誕節。

'Cause I didn't know anybody that had that flavor for Christmas,

因為我不知道任何人有這種味道的聖誕節。

none of my friends even had it. - Oh, right. Right.

我的朋友們都沒有。- 哦，對了。是的。

'Cause you didn't even grow up in a neighborhood that's...

"因為你甚至沒有長大的鄰居，這是... ...

That's what you saw in like, a Chevy Chase movie for Christmas, you know?

這就是你看到的一樣，雪佛蘭大通電影的聖誕節，你知道嗎？

Is this one of those things where none of us actually eat that?

這是我們都沒有真正吃到的東西嗎？

Has any of us done this? - Has any of us even had...?

我們中有人這樣做嗎？- 有沒有人甚至有... ?

Wow this doesn't taste like Christmas at all, what is this crap?

哇，這一點都不像聖誕節的味道，這是什麼垃圾？

Oh no!

哦，不！

The point that we're trying to get at is that there are distinctive flavors that we think of, like cranberry,

我們想說的是，我們認為有獨特的味道，比如蔓越莓。

cinnamons, nutmegs,

肉桂，肉豆蔻。

orange, vanilla, cookie - sugar cookies. But those

橙子，香草，餅乾--糖餅乾。但這些

[Simon] But those

[西蒙]但是那些

flavor associations aren't really that big

味同嚼蠟

culturally for Christmas in Japan.

文化上為日本的聖誕節。

Right, because Christmas in Japan doesn't have a long history

對，因為日本的聖誕節歷史並不長

because it's not a Christian culture.

因為這不是基督教文化。

And I just don't think they watched Chevy Chase movies like I did. -That's it.

我只是覺得他們不像我一樣看切弗蔡斯的電影。-就是這樣

I mean, if you grew up watching Chevy Chase, you'd know. - That's it. Right?

我是說，如果你是看《雪佛蘭大通》長大的，你就會知道。- 就是這樣，對吧？對吧?

And that's not to say that there aren't Japanese Christmas traditions.

這並不是說日本沒有聖誕節的傳統。

This is the one that's the most interesting to every foreigner that first arrives in Japan.

這是每個初到日本的外國人最感興趣的。

[Martina] It's the Christmas KFC special.

這是聖誕肯德基特別節目。

So basically what happened was KFC had some dope marketing strategies, apparently, in the 1970s.

所以，基本上發生了什麼是肯德基有一些塗料的營銷策略，顯然，在20世紀70年代。

They started campaigning that Christmas and KFC go together.

他們開始運動，聖誕節和肯德基一起去。

I mean, it makes sense, we usually do turkey, right?

我的意思是，這是有道理的，我們通常做火雞，對不對？

Apparently it caught on,

很顯然，它的流行。

and now everybody even preorders their KFC Christmas specials months in advance.

現在大家甚至提前幾個月就預訂了肯德基的聖誕特輯。

And I even asked my friends, I'm like,

我還問了我的朋友，我很喜歡。

oh, it must be like a special KFC Christmas recipe.

哦，這一定是像一個特殊的肯德基聖誕食譜。

Nah!

不！

It's just KFC chicken. There's no difference, the only difference is it's a Christmas combo,

就是肯德基的雞肉。沒有什麼區別，唯一不同的是它是一個聖誕組合。

so it comes with like a cake, or it comes with like a special thing for Christmas.

所以，它配備了像一個蛋糕， 或者它配備了像一個特殊的東西的聖誕節。

That's it! Well done, KFC.

這就對了！幹得好，肯德基。

My hats are off to you.

我向你致敬。

"Martina, you should go inside!" What's that you? You want me to go inside and try some KFC?

"瑪蒂娜，你應該進去！"你這是什麼意思？你想讓我進去吃肯德基？

Nah, sorry, I ate.

不，對不起，我吃了。

I've had so much better chicken after living in Korea. You live in Korea and you're like,

在韓國生活後，我吃到了好多好多的雞肉。你在韓國生活，你就像。

What is this, KF C? And you like, smack it off the table.

這是什麼，KF C？你就像，把它從桌子上打下來。

So, I can't really go back.

所以，我真的回不去了。

Once you go Korean fried chicken,

一旦你去韓國炸雞。

that's it for life.

這就是它的生活。

(fancy music)

(花樣音樂)

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

(Christmas rock music)

（聖誕搖滾音樂）

Oh, um. These are face masks, and it has nothing to do with the video.

哦，嗯，這些是面膜，和視頻沒有關係。

We are just so cold that

我們只是太冷了

we came in here to stall, so... ooh. - Ooh.

我們來這裡是為了拖延時間 所以...

Oh, here! This is amazing. This is what I was looking for.

哦，這裡！這是驚人的。這就是我在找的東西。

Oh, it's a foam liner that sticks into your face mask so that your glasses don't steam up.

哦，這是一種保麗龍襯墊，可以粘在面膜裡，這樣眼鏡就不會蒸騰起來了。

Because I wore my mask here, because I'm still sick, and I took it off for the video for you guys. But I've just been...

因為我在這裡戴著口罩，因為我還在生病，為了給你們拍視頻，我把口罩摘了。但我只是一直...

infecting the city!

感染城市！

[Simon] Category is "Grocery Store Realness".

西蒙]類別是 "雜貨店真實性"。

Oh no...

哦，不...

Did she just go out in public like that?

她就這樣當眾出動了嗎？

With the... what?

用... 什麼？

-I'm sick. -Yes, you are.

-我病了-是的，你有病

(Martina fake cough-crying)

（瑪蒂娜假咳嗽哭）

[Simon] What the *bleep* is she wearing?

她穿的是什麼衣服？

Out in public.

在公共場合。

- [Simon] Who's ready for a shitty Christmas? - Oh, yeah.

- [西蒙]誰準備好過一個糟糕的聖誕節了？- 哦，是的。

The only thing that's tackier than my jacket is this!

唯一比我的外套更俗氣的就是這個了!

[Simon] Gachapin Mukku!

[西蒙]Gachapin Mukku！

Well, we're getting it, sir!

好吧，我們得到它，先生！

Excuse me!

對不起！

Look, I'm done with all this filming outside nonsense. I'm old, and I'm cold

聽著，我已經受夠了這些在外面拍戲的無稽之談。我老了，我也冷了。

I'm trying to convey information to you, but I'm not National Geographic.

我是想給你傳遞信息，但我不是國家地理雜誌。

We're gonna do the rest of us indoors, think of the penguin - (gasp)

我們要在室內做其餘的，想想企鵝--（喘氣）。

Oh, killer whales. - No.

哦，虎鯨。- 虎鯨

David Attenborough. - No.

大衛-愛登堡。- 不知道

Christmas cakes.

聖誕蛋糕。

Christmas cakes are a thing in Japan.

在日本，聖誕蛋糕是一種東西。

Order them, you can either go to a grocery store and fill out a flyer you get

訂購，你可以去雜貨店，並填寫你得到的傳單。

yourself a Christmas cake, or you can get it at convenience stores as well.

自己做一個聖誕蛋糕，或者你也可以在便利店買到。

You can get them even at like little bakeries you

你可以得到他們甚至在像小麵包店你

preorder your cake. There's not a distinct flavor,

預購你的蛋糕。沒有明顯的味道。

uh, that you have for the Christmas cake. You could just be like,

呃，你有 為聖誕蛋糕。你可以只是喜歡。

Oh, I'm gonna get *a* Christmas cake. Kind of like a birthday cake, there are many different kinds of birthday cakes.

哦，我要去買*個聖誕蛋糕。有點像生日蛋糕，生日蛋糕有很多不同的種類。

[Martina] Oh, that's a really good way to say it. It's more about having the cake than it being a flavor.

[Martina]哦，這是一個非常好的方式來表達它。這是更多的關於有蛋糕 比它是一個味道。

[Simon] It's the cake that's the really big deal of it.

蛋糕才是真正的大問題

[Simon] What is the point of these tiny ass forks?

這些小叉子有什麼用？

Do I look like I want to nibble my cake, or do I want to shove it down my throat as fast as I can?

我看起來是想啃我的蛋糕，還是想以最快的速度把它塞進我的喉嚨？

This is not the right utensil for the job.

這不是合適的工作器具。

I really like your choice of sweater, matches mine very nice.

我很喜歡你選擇的毛衣，和我的毛衣很相配。

Why are you eating my cake? - [Martina] The reason I came here to eat your cake

你為什麼要吃我的蛋糕？- [瑪蒂娜]我來這裡的原因是為了吃你的蛋糕。

was to actually say that I heard strawberry and cream cake is a traditional Christmas flavor in Japan.

其實是想說，聽說草莓奶油蛋糕是日本傳統的聖誕風味。

[Simon] Hmm.

[西蒙]嗯。

[Martina] It's not like it is "the flavor". People get lots of different kinds of cakes,

[Martina]它不像它是 "味道"。人們得到很多不同種類的蛋糕。

but from what I heard was, "Oh, growing up as a kid my mom always got

但我聽到的是，"哦，長大了，作為一個孩子，我的媽媽總是得到了

like, this strawberry and cream Christmas cake"

就像，這個草莓和奶油聖誕蛋糕"

Also what we're doing this video is kind of Japanese tradition for Christmas,

另外我們做的這個視頻也算是日本傳統的聖誕節。

because it's less considered a family holiday, as much as it's considered a dating holiday

因為它不被認為是一個家庭假期，因為它被認為是一個約會的假期。

So for today's video Martina and I went on a date. - Check.

所以今天的視頻我和瑪蒂娜去約會了。- 檢查。

We had matching sweaters. - Check.

我們有匹配的毛衣。- 檢查。

We went and had some cake together. - Check.

我們一起去吃了些蛋糕。- 檢查。

And we had some desserts and treats. - Check. Got food.

我們還吃了一些甜點和點心。- 檢查。得到了食物。

We took pictures of each other. -Check.

我們互相拍了照片-檢查。

And now we're gonna go home...

現在我們要回家了... ...

(sexy music)

(性感音樂)

- [Martina] And edit this video! - And edit this video.

- [瑪蒂娜]和編輯這個視頻！- 和編輯這個視頻。

- [Martina] Just like dating holiday tradition! - Just like... just like going on a date!

- [瑪蒂娜]就像約會節日傳統！- 就像... 就像去約會！

Ahh, Christmas lingerie: the first thing that pops to mind when I think of warm Christmas cheer.

啊，聖誕內衣：當我想到溫暖的聖誕氣氛時，第一個想到的就是聖誕內衣。

Putting on tiny skimpy lacy underpants. Mmm, perfect for this time of year.

穿上小巧的花邊內褲。嗯，很適合這個時候。

Hmm, just like how delicious my hair is.

嗯，就像我的頭髮多好吃一樣。

omnomnomnom

omnomnomnom

But for real, there is a lot of stuff

但是，真正的，有很多東西

involving dating happening during Christmas time in Japan because

在日本，聖誕節期間發生的約會事件，因為

Christmas is actually more considered to be a dating holiday.

聖誕節其實更被認為是一個約會的節日。

That really shook me when I first heard it, because to me

當我第一次聽到這句話的時候，我真的很震驚，因為對我來說。

Christmas is very much like

聖誕節很像

family oriented. Even if you wanted to hang out with your girlfriend, or boyfriend

以家庭為主。即使你想和你的女朋友，或者男朋友一起出去玩。

Your parents would be like "that's not happening" you might exchange gifts at

你的父母會說："那是不可能的。"你們可能會交換禮物。

some point, but it was really, generally a Christmas holiday.

一些點，但它真的，一般是一個聖誕節假期。

Here, it doesn't have the same associations, probably because...

在這裡，它沒有同樣的聯想，可能是因為... ...

no one's really Christian here.

這裡沒有人是真正的基督徒。

I mean, there is Christianity but it's not like the number one hype choice.

我的意思是，有基督教，但它不像頭號炒作選擇。

There's like Shintoism, and Buddhism

有像神道教，還有佛教

Yeah so pretty much the way that I think of Christmas in Japan is it's a dating holiday.

是啊，所以幾乎是這樣，我認為在日本的聖誕節是一個約會的節日。

It's the kind of thing where people go clubbing, and wear like,

就是那種人們去夜店，穿著像。

Santa-type cute clothing, and meet other people.

聖誕老人式的可愛服裝，並認識其他的人。

And a lot of the hotels are apparently super booked on Christmas Eve, so it's a lot

而且很多酒店在平安夜的時候顯然都是超級預定的，所以這也是很多的

more of like a Valentine's Day in Japan than it is so much a family oriented family holiday.

更像是日本的情人節，而不是那麼多以家庭為組織、部門的家庭節日。

Did I say family twice? - You did.

我說了兩次家庭嗎？- 你說了

Ugh.

呃...

[Meemers voice] I am the Meems of October Past!

我是過去十月的米姆!

That's gonna be Kichijoji's Christmas tree. It's October 16th.

那是吉祥寺的聖誕樹啊今天是10月16日

You need to chill with your proactive decoration, Kichijoji.

你需要冷靜的主動裝修，吉祥寺。

It's not even Halloween, that's blasphemy.

這又不是萬聖節，那是褻瀆神靈。

I should climb that and pull that down!

我應該爬上去把它拉下來！

That's offensive to my culture.