What would I look like with bangs?

Yeah.

Be adventurous. Be spontaneous.

Just do it.

Just do it.

Just do it.

JUST DO IT!

Never cut your own bangs!

I learned this lesson

THREE times.

Lots of regrets you guys.

Don't do it. Just see a professional, phone a friend.

But anyway, I always have this moment.

*gasps* *non-diegetic twinkles*

Oh my gosh

Am I gorgeous?

Which is immediately followed by

*dramatic sound effects that increases in intensity*

Obviously these are very conflicting feelings and you might wonder

How could anyone possibly feel these two extremes back-to-back?

Well, I had the same question. So I did what any one of us would do

And I was surprised to find this gem of an article.

If you have time, you should read it because not only is it hilarious

but it felt like I was reading a play-by-play of what I had just gone through then

and my entire life

So I was like, oh wow, okay

Is this just like a normal phenomenon?

So I group texted a bunch of my friends to see if they sometimes felt this way and they all said

Oh totally

Goblin to supermodel All the time

My dysmorphia is usually fat and strange-looking to sexy badass

I can just hear my mom's voice in my head saying, "Girls like us are an acquired taste."

Oh, I have more I'm a mole person days than gorgeous days

I'm pretty horrible to myself

Why do we oscillate between these feelings? Why do we feel things?

And so I was just like relentlessly searching the internet

And I found one theory that proposed

Specifically for women, that I found super fascinating

Is that we are actually

More attractive when we're ovulating

Because of our hormones during this time, our faces and our voices will actually change

And reach peak attractiveness to the opposite sex when we are our most fertile.

So next time your friend gets hit on

*whispers* You're ovulating

What?

You are so fertile right now

What?

The men can sense that your estradiol levels are high

Or your progesterone levels are simultaneously low

Which is late in the follicular phase, near ovulation when fertility is highest.

What?

But I'm on hormonal birth control

Which means my body already thinks it's eggo is prego

So this explanation felt like it didn't apply to the swinging pendulum of perception of my own face

So after a lot of googling, I realized it can only be

Just part of the human experience

There's no salt for this.

Life is a rollercoaster.

Sometimes you look good. Sometimes you look terrible

Most times

Ya probably look fine.

Sorry John.

Our reflections are not objective, right?

We're seeing them through the lens of whatever our current mind state is

I'm a monster

Which fluctuates all the time

I'm an angel

So instead of indulging in either

The arrogance of beauty or the sadness of hideousness

I ask myself instead,

Hmm. What is going on internally that is making me feel this way?

And if I feel good, and therefore see myself as good, great!

And if I feel terrible and see myself as terrible,

Well, how can I emotionally adjust so that I'm not repulsed by my own reflection?

Puberty was not kind to me

I'm Anna Akana

You probably look fine.

Thank you to Audible for sponsoring today's episode

I am very excited to recommend an absolutely remarkable book today

So I read about 70 books a year

At least 12 of those are audiobooks

Sometimes more, depending on LA traffic and how often I'll face my overflowing laundry

But in 2018, my favorite book without a doubt was Hank Green's

'An Absolutely Remarkable Thing'

It's somehow coming-of-age,

Sci-fi and accurately represents the moral struggles of being a digital personality

Plus the protagonist is bi

What more could you want?

You can go to audible.com/Anna or text Anna to 500-500 to start your free 30-day trial

And every month you get one credit, good for any audiobook of your choice, plus 2 Audible originals

Audible members also get access to audio fitness, health workouts and podcasts.

I personally am obsessed with Esther Perel's 'Where should we begin?'

She interviews real-life couples and its so fascinating and educational.

You can go to audible.com/Anna or text Anna to 500-500 to start your free trial today.

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