and this is everything I eat in a day.

(pages flipping)

First thing I do when I wake up

is go promptly back to sleep.

I dread getting up in the morning,

that sounds sad,

and then I make a beeline for the kitchen

so I can get some coffee in me.

I had Erika Vonie on my show, she's a coffee master

and she turned me into a pour-over freak,

so I'm all about the pour-over,

but sometimes when I need to be quick,

I got an espresso machine where I'll pull a shot

if I need the heavy stuff.

After coffee, if its a weekday

I'm gonna be a little bit more conservative.

I'm generally just doing a fried egg over medium

on some Ezekiel low sodium sprouted grain toast,

and I'll fry up a runny egg on that and hit it

with a dot of Sriracha

or some other, whatever hot sauce is kicking around

and that's fuel to begin the day

and it's relatively healthy-ish.

It's that or maybe I'll make a breakfast burrito,

or I'll skip breakfast all together,

sometimes I'm a breakfast skipper.

I don't recommend that kids,

it's the most important meal of the day.

So they say.

So they tell me

but always question what people tell you.

Just about a year ago, on my other show,

Being with Babish, I chronicled an exercise regimen

and weight loss thing that I tried to do

and I've stuck with it to the letter every day since,

that's not true at all, I took a few months off of that

(laughing)

and now I'm in a much more relaxed version

of what I was doing for that episode,

where I'll try to work out at minimum three times a week,

ideally four or five times a week.

I mostly work out at home, I like doing just body weight,

kind of burpee, kind of stuff, just calisthenic,

whatever you call that jazz

and I try to do that in the morning after breakfast,

so I can get it out of the way

'cause let's face it, exercise is horrible.

Lunch, being a New Yorker, I'm typically ordering

Seamless for lunch.

I cook a lot for my show, I cook a lot for my work,

so typically in my off hours I'm cooking dinner

but I'm generally not making lunch.

I'm doing research or I'm filming

or I'm editing and I just don't have the time

or the mental space to prepare a healthy balanced lunch

during the week, so typically I'm ordering in

from one of these bowl places:

Dig In, Westville, usually just something simple

like grilled chicken with a few vegetables

and some sweet potatoes or again,

this is the weekday we're talking about,

just wait 'til I get to the weekend,

you're gonna be disgusted.

If I'm very busy, I'm generally not snacking

'cause I'm not thinking about it.

I'll skip meals, I'll forget to eat meals

'cause I'm busy sometimes.

I try not to keep chips in the house,

I try not to keep breakfast cereal in the house

or anything that I might grab a handful

and regret later.

So dried fruit, nuts, cheese if I'm feeling really naughty,

I'll fry up another egg,

protein shakes, sometimes I'll make

a soy-based protein shake

and that's not 'cause I'm vegan, it's because whey

is bad for me as a man.

Weeknight dinners, generally also kind of a lame affair

but this one I'm typically cooking,

so I keep a lot of frozen meats in my freezer

right here.

Here, let me grab one.

What have we got today?

Oh here's a nice, this is a hanger steak.

Sent to me from Porter Road Beef out in Nashville,

great butcher, we've had a long standing partnership

so they send me meat every once in a while,

like so many of my closest friends.

I love a good hanger steak, I love a good skirt steak,

they're very quick and easy to pan fry.

You either make a pan sauce or make like, a...

What's it called?

A...

A chimichurri.

Chicken breasts, I like to do

skin on, bone-in chicken breasts,

so I can pan roast them and not destroy the meat

but usually it's something simple like that.

It's a piece of meat, a vegetable of some kind,

sauteed, whatever, roasted, whatever,

I like roasted Brussels sprouts most of all,

I'll toss them with a little bit of Sriracha and honey.

I think I'm getting hungry now, I haven't had lunch.

Sometimes a starch if I'm, again, feeling frisky

but usually just try to keep it to meat and vegetables

on the weeknights.

Trying to keep it tight.

As for what I'm imbibing liquid-wise,

I am a seltzer freak.

I'm one of the pathetic members of this generation

that can't just drink water and just be happy about it,

it's gotta have flavor, it's gotta have bubbles

but it's got me drinking a lot more water.

Like, you're supposed to drink a lot of water

and I, again, decided to keep track, okay,

how much water am I drinking per day?

And it was dangerously low, like, how are you alive?

Kind of style.

I got the Soda Stream over there

and I'll mix in a little bit of mango flavor,

a little bit of lemon flavor

and it makes a nice mango seltzer

that I'm drinking right now

out of an eco-friendly vacuum-sealed beverage container.

Ah.

I'm generally eating dinner around like, 10.

I have a very, very unhealthy work schedule,

where I'll start working at like, 10

and finish working at 11 or something.

It's 'cause I love my job, I'm not pretending

that I'm some sort of champion of work,

I just love my job and I get lost in it.

So I'm generally eating pretty late,

so late night snacking

generally doesn't enter into it... unless.

(laughing)

I'm kidding, this is a family publication

and I'm referring to sipping on tea.

If I'm sipping on tea then yeah,

I might have a late night snack

and that's when I regret having

Cinnamon Toast Crunch in the house or whatever

and that's why I don't keep it in the house.

I try to, I got props, we're lucky we're in my kitchen,

I got props.

(beep)

I'm not on a super super strict diet during the week,

during the weekdays.

I allow myself, I allot myself

a couple of these little fellas, Dove dark chocolate squares

on a weeknight just to kill the sweet tooth

but generally I'm having decaf coffee or tea,

something like that to kill the sweet tooth

and not become a larger person than I am.

If I'm not having one of these chocolates

or something like that, I'm probably having

a glass of something brown, be it whiskey or cognac

or a glass of wine.

You know, keep it to one or none on the weeknights.

So let's get into the weekends, shall we?

This is when the rules stop.

I'll keep it tight during the day on Friday

and then Friday night, all bets are off.

I'm having you know, a couple of glasses of whiskey

because it's the end of the week, come on.

My biggest weakness in this world has gotta be chicken parm,

so I'm typically ordering from Parm, fittingly enough.

They make the perfect expression of chicken parm,

it's a seeded Italian hero, then it's got these

big fat pieces of white meat chicken, panko breaded,

beautifully crisp, even after being delivered,

just enough sauce, not too much sauce,

that's a big problem with chicken parm heroes is that,

and for everyone else in the world,

chicken parm sandwiches.

Chicken parm heroes, is that they get over sauced

or over cheesed even, I know that sounds crazy

but it's possible and this is a great balance

of chicken to breading to sauce to cheese,

also whole leaves of basil on there, so you just take a bite

and you just like

"oh, I have a mouth full of basil, life's okay."

I'll dig into one of those

with their Italian shoestring fries

and maybe a bowl of their spicy rotini.

Yeah and so that's Friday night.

Saturday morning, I maybe have a little bit of a headache,

maybe, I don't know.

I don't know why I have a headache

and why I'm hungry for breakfast sandwiches, you tell me.

And that's what I'll do, I'll get myself

a breakfast sandwich, I'm all about the BEC

or in my case HEC, 'cause I like ham, egg and cheese.

I'll even make it myself here if I got the stuff.

You know, I have to have...

Gotta have the good potato rolls, Martin's or Marty's,

which I didn't...

Hmm, is this knock-off Martin's?

Marty's?

Big soft potato roll,

lots and lots and lots of sesame seeds.

Lightly toast that in the pan, little bit of butter,

that way the roll stays soft.

Don't do it in the toaster, don't do it in the toaster oven

because then you're gonna get a hard roll,

you don't want a hard roll.

Fry up two eggs, medium, over medium.

I want a little bit of runny egg going on there.

Right before it's done cooking, flip,

squirt of water, cheese, cover.

That's gonna melt your cheese, it's gonna steam the eggs

and finish them cooking.

In another pan I'm generally frying up a slice of ham

or some bacon or something like that.

Ga, ga, ga, tale as old as time.

BEC, HEC, breakfast sandwich.

That, or you know, if I'm really out of commission

(laughing)

then I'm ordering in from some place like Black Seed

or Zucker's or any of these New York bagel spots

and then by the afternoon I'm ready to, okay,

maybe I'll start being a little bit healthier again.

Have a healthy lunch, one of these bowls,

then by the evening I'm ready to party again.

If I'm not doing Italian then I'm generally gonna go

either Japanese

or Vietnamese

or some kind of noodley, soupy, sushi kind of thing.

Sushi snobs will make fun of me for this

but I love Sugarfish, it's really good,

the fish always tastes really sweet and clean.

That'll be Saturday and then Sunday

is kind of the tempering, get back into

the normal flow of things day

and just tempering myself for oh God, Monday's coming,

here we go.

If I'm making my cheat meals at home,

it's typically gonna be pasta, a carbonara in particular.

With the carbonara I will either make fresh pasta

or I will use something, some big, really thick spaghetti

or bucatini, something with a lot of chew to it

and something that I'll cook really al dente

and I can twist it up into a nice nest

and if I made it out to my favorite butcher Pino's,

Pino's Prime Meats over in the East Village,

generally while I'm there if they have guanciale,

I'm gonna buy a slab of it and be like,

I'm saving you for the weekend and I'll make the carbonara

with some really nice orangey yolked eggs

and some guanciale and a whole bunch

of freshly grated Romano cheese.

Oh my God, I'm so hungry right now.