Thank you for social distancing.

謝謝你們保持了社交距離。

How are you guys doing?

你們過得如何呢？

Hey, I'm doing okay, I think I'm just a little nervous.

嘿，我過得很好，但我覺得就是有點小緊張。

Nervous, okay, about what exactly?

緊張，準確來說是關於什麼呢？

I'm just not ready for things to be opening up already.

我就是還沒有完全準備好重新開放回正常生活。

Okay, so you think it's unsafe?

好的，所以你覺得現在還是不安全嗎？

I don't think so, I just don't wanna have to go back to needing a reason to cancel plans.

也不是啦，就是不太想回到那種，要躲別人的約還要想理由的日子。

Oh my gosh, same!

我的天，加一！

Last year my grandma died eight times.

去年光是我阿嬤就掛了 8 次。

Wait, what?

等等，什麼？

I know, it was a nightmare keeping things straight.

我知道，要誠實說出來真的有夠難。

She had three car accidents, pneumonia, and Dengue fever.

她出車禍出了三次、得了肺炎還有登革熱。

I'm shocked I didn't tell someone the same story twice.

我很驚訝我沒有跟同一個人說兩遍同樣的故事。

Maybe I did, and they just assumed my grandpa remarried a lot.

或許我有啦，但他們可能就覺得我阿公一直再婚吧！

Totally.

真的。

At least now I can say stuff like: "Oh, it's a shame we can't go grab a beer, maybe when things are back to normal."

至少現在我可以說：「好可惜喔，我們不能一起去喝一杯，或許等一切回復正常我們再一起去。」之類的。

They know I don't mean it, I know I don't mean it, but at least it looks like I made an effort.

他們知道我不是真心在這樣說的，我也知道我不是真心的，但至少看起來我有試著想要赴約。

So, you don't actually want to see your friends again?

所以，你其實壓根不想看到你的朋友？

No, I do, I just like the system we have now.

沒有，我想見到他們啊，我只是覺得現在的生活模式很棒。

We meet outside a restaurant, we grab takeout, we go to a park and eat away from everybody else.

我們在餐廳外面見面，拿走外帶的食物，去一個公園，在沒有其他人的地方吃飯。

No extra people, it's perfect.

沒有閒雜人等，超讚的。

You know you can do that anyway, right?

你知道其實不管怎樣你都可以這樣做，對吧？

That's literally just a picnic.

這根本就是野餐啊！

Well, yeah, but right now I have a built-in eject button.

嗯對啦，但至少現在我有內建的彈射逃生機制。

So if I'm not feeling up to it on the day of, I just say: "Oh, I've got a little cough, I've got a fever," and boom, two weeks of guilt-free me-time, baby.

所以如果我今天真的不是想赴約的心情，我可以就說：「喔，我有點在咳嗽，我發燒了。」然後蹦，無憂無慮地開啟兩週自我小宇宙時間。

That is brilliant.

你是天才。

What if you guys just turn down plans directly?

如果你們直接拒絕別人的邀約呢？

I don't wanna do that, I'm not great with conflict.

我不想這樣做啊，我不太擅長處理衝突。

It took me two-and-a-half years to tell my dad he was saying my girlfriend's name wrong.

我花了兩年半來告訴我爸他一直以來都叫錯我女朋友的名字。

We almost broke up over it.

我們差點因為這樣分手。

Plus, if you keep turning things down, you stop getting invited.

再加上如果你一直拒絕人，你就不會再被邀請了。

Is that a problem?

這會是個問題？

Uh, of course!

當然啊！

Just because I don't wanna go doesn't mean I don't wanna be invited.

我不想去並不代表我不想被邀請啊。

I want to know they're thinking of me from a distance.

我想要知道他們也是有想到我的，遠距離地。

Exactly!

太中肯了吧！

Man, it is great to know I'm not the only person who feels like that.

老兄，知道原來我不是唯一有這樣感受的人真的是太棒了。

This is a great moment, I'm glad you guys have so much in common.

真是感人的一刻，我很慶幸你們有這麼多的共同點。

You can work together to get more comfortable at making plans.

你們可以一起工作，讓制定計劃的時候更加輕鬆。

Maybe after tonight's meeting.

或許在今天的會議之後。

That sounds like a great idea, I'd love to, but tonight's not good for me.

這聽起來是個好主意，我真的很想參加，但今天晚上我不太方便。

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, me neither.

對對對，我也不太方便。

In fact, I'm feeling kind of, like, a little bit of a tickle in my throat.

老實說，我有點…我喉嚨癢癢的。

Probably nothing, but you can't be too careful.

應該沒事啦，只是小心為妙。

Of course, next time though, for sure.

當然，下次吧，下次一定可以。

It's just my grandma right now, she's a little bit under the weather.

就我阿嬤現在有點著涼了。

Oh yeah, yeah, definitely, once things are back to normal.

真的，好啦，事情回復正常時一定約。

We'll do it, and we'll grab a beer.

一定，我們再一起去喝一杯。

Perfect.

太讚了。