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  • -Well, guys, the new cast of the upcoming season of

  • "The Bachelor" has just been revealed.

  • And rules are a little different this season.

  • First, all 30 women have to make it through a House vote.

  • Then, if approved, they're going to face a trial in the Senate.

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • That's right. There's 30 women on "The Bachelor"

  • all fighting for the same thing --

  • to see who can disappoint their parents the most.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • But this year is very fun.

  • Since this year's Bachelor is Pete the pilot,

  • three of the contestants are actually flight attendants.

  • [ Audience ohs ]

  • Which should explain why every episode starts 45 minutes late.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • I saw that another "Bachelor" contestant

  • is a professional house flipper.

  • Just a word of advice -- when you get to the Bachelor Mansion,

  • the first thing that you want to flip is the mattress.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • But it looks like a good season.

  • Here's a photo of some of the other contestants.

  • Look at this.

  • Apparently, to get cast on the show, you just need to be able

  • to giggle while looking over one shoulder.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Can we see that again?

  • Is it me?

  • Don't they all look like

  • they are starring in a commercial for Yoplait?

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Let's get to some news, guys.

  • Tomorrow is an absolutely historic day

  • for the United States.

  • That's right.

  • After months of anticipation, it's finally here --

  • "The Masked Singer" finale.

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • We'll have to find out.

  • Just kidding.

  • Of course, we all know 'twas the night before impeachment

  • and all through D.C.,

  • Pelosi was clapping while Trump screamed, "Why me?"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • That's right.

  • Tomorrow the House will officially vote on

  • the articles of impeachment against President Trump,

  • and Nancy Pelosi apparently has the votes.

  • Then Hillary was like --

  • [ Cheers and applause ]

  • Then Hillary was like, "Well, don't get too cocky."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • And, of course, the media is fired up too.

  • This morning in the NBC gym,

  • I ran into Mika Brzezinski bench-pressing "Morning Joe."

  • Yeah. [ Laughter ]

  • Everyone is talking about this.

  • Today, "happy impeachment" was trending on Twitter.

  • When Trump saw that, he was like, "Trust me,

  • after tomorrow's vote,

  • everyone will be saying 'merry impeachment' again."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • As if things weren't tense enough today,

  • Trump sent a six-page letter to Nancy Pelosi,

  • where he called the impeachment

  • an unprecedented and unconstitutional abuse of power,

  • claimed Pelosi offended Americans,

  • and calls his crimes "completely disenuous, meritless,

  • and baseless invention of your imagination."

  • When asked why he sent the letter, Trump said,

  • "Because Pelosi blocked me on Twitter."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Meanwhile, Rudy Giuliani just did an interview

  • where he admitted that Trump

  • knew what he was doing in Ukraine.

  • It's almost like Rudy heard there's no way Trump could be

  • removed from office and thought,

  • "Oh, yeah, we'll see about that."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Seriously, I'm not saying Rudy is hurting Trump's case,

  • but even Harvey Weinstein thinks he needs to shut up and go away.

  • [ Audience ohs ]

  • But Trump is busy.

  • Today he hosted the President and First Lady of Guatemala.

  • First, Trump was confused.

  • He was like, "I love Guatemala,

  • especially when they make it table side."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • "It's extra at Chipotle."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • And finally, as if there wasn't enough going on,

  • a Russian spy ship was just spotted

  • sailing off the coast of Florida.

  • Trump heard that and was like,

  • "That's not a spy ship. That's my getaway vehicle."

  • We have a great show tonight.

-Well, guys, the new cast of the upcoming season of

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眾議院民主黨人披露對特朗普的彈劾條款。 (House Democrats Reveal Articles of Impeachment Against Trump)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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