"Shark Week" is officially here. -Yeah.

[ Cheers ]

-And if you're excited about that,

you're either a marine biologist or really high.

[ Laughter ]

I read that "Shark Week" started back in 1988.

Yeah. It's been around for over 30 years.

Even crazier, they've just been airing the same ten shows

and nobody's noticed. [ Laughter ]

Get this, every year there are

about 80 unprovoked shark attacks.

Yeah, 80 unprovoked attacks.

Or as President Trump calls that, a weekend.

[ Laughter ]

-Yeah!

[ Laughter and cheering ]

-Actually, Trump loves "Shark Week."

It's the one time he can tweet "I love great whites"

without being called a racist. [ Audience "oh"s ]

-Really?

[ Laughter and applause ]

-Speaking of the President, the other day he invited

some reporters in to talk about how he might put a tax

on French wine.

Even though he doesn't drink, he still weighed in

on what he thinks about French wine versus American wine.

Listen to this.

-I've always liked American wines better than French wines.

Even though I don't drink wine. [ Laughter ]

I just like the way they look.

[ Laughter ]

-After that, his staffers were like

everyone on "Family Feud"

after a teammate gives a weird response.

They're like, "Good answer. Good --"

[ Laughter ]

Show me "Like the way they look"!

[ Imitates buzzer ] Oh, sorry.

[ Laughter ]

It looks -- yeah.

Some more political news.

This week, there are two more Democratic debates

and tomorrow's airs at the same time

as "The Bachelorette" finale. -Ooh.

-So no matter which one you watch,

you'll see a bunch of sad guys going home in a limo.

It's just -- [ Laughter ]

No matter what.

But everyone's getting ready for the next round

of Democratic debates, which are this Tuesday and Wednesday.

-Oh, man, that's great.

I can't wait to see my favorite candidate, Eric Swalwell.

[ Light laughter ]

-You didn't hear, Tariq?

Eric Swalwell dropped out of the race.

He's actually the only candidate not returning

to this round of debates.

-Are you kidding me right now?

-No, I'm -- I'm not kidding.

[ Light laughter ]

You liked Eric Swalwell? -Duh.

Why else would I get all these shirts made

that say "You can't --" [ Laughter ]

"You can't spell 'America' without 'Eric'"?

[ Laughter ] -I had no idea that --

[ Cheers and applause ]

I had no idea that you liked him so much.

I -- I --

-I thought everyone did. [ Light laughter ]

Why else would I get all these shirts made...

[ Laughter ]

...that say "We don't need a wall, we need a Swal"?

-Yeah, yeah -- Well, I -- [ Laughter and applause ]

I understand...

it must be upsetting, but I'm sorry

I had to break it to you like this.

I mean... -Man, this is the worst.

Now what am I going to do with all these shirts...

[ Laughter ] ...that say...

"All's swell that ends Swell"? [ Laughter ]

-"All's well that's Swalwell"?

-Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean.

-Well, these shirts are getting worse and worse.

Tariq, how many shirts did you get made?

-I mean, who cares? It doesn't matter anyway.

I mean, who's even replacing him in the debate?

-A guy named Steve Bullock.

-Oh, man, really? I love Steve Bullock.

He was my second pick. [ Light laughter ]

-Please don't tell me that you --

-Which is why I got all these shirts made...

[ Laughter ]

...that say, "Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got.

I'm still Steve from the -- Steve from the Bullock."

[ Laughter and applause ] -All right, thank you very much.

That's a pretty good one. Thank you.

Tariq Trotter, everybody. Tariq, thank you very much.

[ Cheers and applause ] ♪♪

[ Cheering continues ]

"I'm still Steve from the Bullock."

-Yeah. "From the Bullock." "From the Bullock."

-"I'm still Steve from the Bullock."

-Yeah.

And he's got a bunch of rocks. -Some --

Some news from overseas.

There are rumors that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle

have banned their neighbors from talking to them.

-Ooh. [ Audience "ooh"s ]

-Apparently the neighbors aren't even allowed

to say "Good morning." -Oh.

-Right now you're thinking that's rude,

but you're also a little jealous.

[ Laughter ]

Check this out. I heard that soon Teslas

will be able to stream Netflix on the car's center display.

It's all part of Tesla's plan to cut down on emissions

and pedestrians. -Oh.

[ Laughter ]

-Here's some good news from Washington.

Democrats and Republicans just worked together to pass a bill

that would block robocalls.

I think it's the one thing --

[ Cheers and applause ]

It's the one thing we can agree on,

that robocalls are the worst.

-You know what, it's funny, because I never get robocalls.

-Well, you're one of the lucky ones,

because they can be pretty awful.

[ Phone vibrating ] -Oops, sorry.

Getting a phone call right now. [ Laughter ]

That's weird. It's my area code,

but I don't recognize the number.

-No, Higgins, that is a robocall.

-No, clearly it's a local call.

-No, no, Higgins, that's what they do now. That's --

-Probably one of my relatives from a random line

because their phone broke, you know.

-No, no, no. That's what they want you to think.

-No, no, no. Here, I'll put it on speaker.

You got the Steve.

-Hello, this is a call regarding your computer's security.

This is an emergency.

-Whoa, good thing I answered. Huh, smart guy?

-No, no, no -- No, Higgins --

-You must update

your Social Security information immediately.

-Well, of course. My Social Security is 9-8-7 --

-No, no. Higgins, Higgins, Higgins!

-This'll just take a second. -No, don't --

It's 9 -- -Don't give them or America

your Social Security number right now.

That's crazy. -Dude, it's totally cool.

That's why they call it "Social" Security.

[ Laughter ] It's meant to be social.

It's meant to be shared. -No, that's not --

That is not what it means, actually.

That's not what it -- -No, that's what it means.

No, you got a pen? It's 9-8-7 --

-Oh, my goodness.

-...6-5-4-3-2-6.

And thank you for looking out for me.

-I can't believe you just did that.

That -- it's a total scam.

I mean, if you're not careful with these calls,

someone's going to steal your identity.

-[ Laughs ] Don't worry about it.

Everything is fine.

[ Laughter and applause ]

You just -- just do your monologue.

[ Laughter ]

[ Laughter continues ]

-What -- what are you swiping?

-I'm on Tinder. -Ah, get out of here.

[ Laughter ]

Oh, this isn't good here, guys.

A woman in Tennessee was staying at a Hampton Inn

and she woke up when a snake slithered across her body.

[ Audience "ooh"s ]

Hampton Inn is defending itself.

They were like, "Well, did our wake-up call work or not?"

I mean -- [ Laughter ]

And finally, you guys, I'm excited about this.

Tonight on the show we have the winner

of the "Fortnite" World Cup Championship...

[ Cheers and applause ] ...Kyle "Bugha" Giersdorf.

He's just 16 years old and he won $3 million.

[ Cheers, gasping ]

Right now parents everywhere are going, "All right,

put down your homework and go play video games."