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  • -Just three men with beards hanging around a table.

  • Three equally handsome men.

  • -Yes. Thank you.

  • -We're all exactly the same. -Attractive people.

  • Here's how this works.

  • In front of us are two envelopes containing confessions.

  • One confession is true. The other is a lie.

  • Once you read your confession,

  • the other two players have 45 seconds to interrogate you.

  • They have to guess if you've been lying or telling the truth.

  • Chris, you will go first.

  • Which envelope should he open?

  • -Let's go with one.

  • -What is your story? Okay.

  • -My first job was cleaning out breast pumps.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -For your first -- That was your first job?

  • -First job, yeah. -How old were you?

  • -I was 14 at the time.

  • -And was it just cleaning out breast pumps

  • or was there other aspects to the job?

  • -It was repairing them as well, occasionally.

  • -You repaired breast pumps at 14?

  • [ Laughter ] -Well, like, like, like --

  • Any pump, you know, there's a motor with a belt,

  • like a rubber belt, for the suction.

  • -Do you know that?

  • Oh, was this for human breasts or animal breasts?

  • -Yeah, no, like -- you'd have --

  • like, pharmacies would rent them out.

  • -They would rent them out?

  • Because you don't need them forever, right.

  • -No. [ Laughter ]

  • So they'd come back covered in dry milk.

  • So I'd have a toothbrush --

  • [ Buzzer ]

  • I'd clean the dry milk off.

  • -Dry milk?

  • I did not think I'd hear the phrase dry milk today.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -This is very interesting.

  • -That was it? That was all we get to ask?

  • -45 seconds, we did it.

  • -I think it's real.

  • -You think his first job was cleaning out --

  • -If not, he's a psychopath -- [ Laughter ]

  • If he made that up.

  • -Were you saying, like, where he grew up,

  • his dad had animals and stuff around, so I'm thinking maybe --

  • -But it's human breast milk.

  • -But I think it's inspired by what he used to do with animals.

  • -That's very smart.

  • -And then change it to a lie.

  • -You're good at this.

  • He took almost the truth and changed it slightly to a lie.

  • -I'm going to say you lie. -Yeah.

  • -Did you lie? -I'll say lie, too.

  • -It was the truth. -I said it was the truth!

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • -Why did you --

  • -Where were you? Where were you? Where were you? Where was it?

  • -So, it was, like, Fisher and Paykel.

  • It's a company that makes

  • fridges and ovens and breast pumps.

  • And I literally worked for a pharmacy.

  • They would rent them out.

  • The machines would come back, and I would have a toothbrush,

  • a little spray and wipe.

  • And dried milk -- covered in them. Yep.

  • -One question. -Yep.

  • -Do the women who used these breast pumps

  • now know that Chris Hemsworth once cleaned their breast pumps?

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Here we go. This is my turn. Here we go.

  • -And can you buy them on eBay? -You can't buy them on eBay.

  • Which one? Which envelope should I open?

  • -Well, which one -- -Let's go two.

  • We did one for me, right? Let's go two for you.

  • -Are you going to go into the breast-pump business?

  • Dolph Lundgren once saved me from a bunch of coyotes.

  • -I mean, it's so ridiculous that I'd say no,

  • but which means it's probably yes.

  • -Yeah, okay. So, how long ago did this happen?

  • -I'd say, early 2000s. 2002?

  • It was before I was on "Saturday Night Live."

  • -How many coyotes?

  • -I don't really know,

  • but it was definitely at least one scurrying.

  • -So how did he save you? What did he do, wrestle them?

  • -You're saying Dolph Lundgren

  • saved you from a group of coyote?

  • -Yes. Yes. -One?

  • -No, not coyote -- coyotes. I think it was more than one.

  • I was leaving a party, and I heard things scurrying.

  • -What did he do?

  • -He said, "Jimmy, get in my car."

  • [ Laughter ] -What?

  • -He said, "Hey, Jimmy, quick, get in my car"

  • or something like that. "There's coyotes are coming."

  • -So he knew who you were? -Yeah.

  • -So you guys were hanging out or just --

  • -No, I didn't know he was there at all.

  • -It seems true, right?

  • -It seems true. I didn't want it to be.

  • Actually, hang on. Whoa, whoa.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • You're lying!

  • -No, why would I do that, though?

  • -I feel like it's true because he wasn't sure on the year

  • and he's, like, trying to make us think that he's lying,

  • but it's really the truth.

  • He said, "Ah, let's say 2002." He's trying to --

  • -I looked deep within his soul.

  • Deep within -- Yeah, you're lying to me.

  • -You're right. It's a lie. -Wow! Nice!

  • -How cool would that be? How cool would that be?

  • For a second, did you think?

  • -Yeah, for a second I did, and then I looked at you.

  • We played another game where it's like "Don't laugh."

  • That game. And there's something there that happened.

  • -I was proud, like I felt I won. -Yeah, yeah.

  • -Okay, all right, here we go.

  • -I'm going to say -- what do we just go with, number two?

  • What do you think, Chris?

  • -I don't know. I do want to say this is great.

  • We're just hanging out, three guys.

  • -Three dudes. Yeah, don't worry about it.

  • -All equally handsome, yeah. [ Laughter ]

  • -Just fun. Number one. -One?

  • -Yeah. -All right.

  • -Fun. -Here we go.

  • Um...

  • -All right, already you're lying.

  • -I once tried to murder someone in Singapore.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Hang on, hang on. Intention-- like, as in --

  • -This is gonna air on television, you know.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -I didn't say I was successful.

  • -What year was this?

  • -I was maybe around 10 or 12 years old.

  • -So you -- When you say murder, that wasn't self-defense.

  • That's you like out to get someone intentionally.

  • -I was the aggressor. -You didn't like this person?

  • -No, I liked this person. I loved her.

  • -Why did you want to murder them?

  • -I don't know. -Wow.

  • -What do you mean, you don't know?

  • -How did you try to murder her? -Strangulation, pretty standard.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Just because, or no reason at all?

  • -Well, so, I was sleepwalking, and as a kid,

  • I wasn't allowed to watch horror movies,

  • and this person showed me a horror movie.

  • [ Buzzer ]

  • -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, well, wait.

  • -I want more than 45 -- I want weeks with you.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Something happened at the end there because all of a sudden

  • it was, "Oh, I did it on purpose."

  • And then you said you were sleepwalking.

  • -Oh, that's very interesting.

  • Now he's smirking,

  • almost thinking that we're both going to say he lied.

  • Because now he's doing what I did.

  • -Look at me. -This is the poker face.

  • He thinks he won.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • I'm gonna say...

  • -I think it's true. -I'm gonna say it's the truth.

  • You tried to murder someone in Singapore.

  • -That is correct.

  • [ Laughter and applause ]

  • -I can never look at you in the same way.

  • What are you talking about? -It was my aunt.

  • -Oh, my God. [ Laughter ]

  • -And I had little 10-year-old hands. I never had a shot.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • But I wasn't allowed to watch horror movies as a kid.

  • And I was staying at her house, and she was like,

  • "It's fine. I'll show you one.

  • What's the worst that could happen?"

  • And then I tried to murder her.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -In your sleep, though, in your sleep.

  • -In my sleep.

  • And they woke me up and I don't remember any of it,

  • but I remember being like -- things were weird at breakfast.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -"Do you know what you tried to do last night?"

  • Guys, I'm glad we got to the bottom of these things.

  • Thank you so much for playing.

  • Chris Hemsworth. Kumail Nanjiani.

-Just three men with beards hanging around a table.

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克里斯-海姆斯沃斯和庫邁爾-南賈尼的真情告白。 (True Confessions with Chris Hemsworth and Kumail Nanjiani)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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