Are you excited about that?

[APPLAUSE]

Yep, right around the corner.

It's at the intersection of Not Again Avenue

and I Dread It Every Year Street.

[LAUGHTER]

Each Halloween, I have to dress up on the show.

They snuck it into my contract somehow.

I shouldn't have to dress up for Halloween anymore.

I'm in my mid to late 40s.

I don't need to--

[LAUGHTER]

I don't know what I'm going to be yet,

but I've been doing some research

and it looks like they just do a sexy version of anything.

And I've talked about this before,

but it's really getting out of hand.

Apparently, we're running out of things to make sexy.

Every year, they take a children's character

and then they try to make it-- this

is sexy Bert and Ernie right here.

[LAUGHTER]

They don't really live on Sesame Street,

they just work the corner.

[LAUGHTER]

It's another kid's character they're trying to--

Sexy Mr. Rogers.

Looks more like a Hooters waitress with a tie.

That doesn't even look like Mr. Rogers.

The next one is topical and barely makes sense.

This is sexy fake news.

There's "Fake" right across--

I don't know if it's referring to the news or the--

Last year I showed you this.

This was sexy Dory and I guess it wasn't sexy enough

because now I found this this year.

Yeah, she's wearing fishnets, you get it?

[LAUGHTER]

Fishnets.

It's a fish.

You know what they say, if you can't beat them, join them.

So I'm going to sell my own sexy costume this year.

It's not sexy Ellen--

I'm already too sexy for TV--

but someone on my staff.

It's sexy Average Andy and it comes

with a headset and nicotine gum and tighty-whities.

[APPLAUSE]

It's business on top and average party even down below.

Surprise, Andy.

Yeah, it's a great surprise.

Do you like this?

It was a little surprise.

You didn't know that was in the script, did you?

Sure did not.

Aw.