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  • [LIVELY UPBEAT MUSIC]

  • Hi.

  • I'm Lauren.

  • I'm surrounded by strong, fearless, powerful women.

  • I work for one.

  • I'm even married to one.

  • And yet, I'm scared of most things.

  • Climb on, Lauren.

  • A lot of people say, climb on, Lauren.

  • [SCREAMING]

  • So I decided-- because they told me

  • to-- that it was time to face my fears,

  • get out of my comfort zone, try new things,

  • see if I can't cry for a day.

  • Why?

  • Because I have a little bit of a stomach lining left

  • and I thought, I should get rid of that.

  • Each week, I'm going to have two choices.

  • Whatever I don't pick goes to the next week.

  • Whenever I do pick, I do immediately.

  • This week, my choices are--

  • extreme beauty treatments or singing

  • at a stranger's wedding.

  • Wow.

  • OK.

  • I'm going to pick beauty treatments.

  • OK, that's going to be a Russian platza

  • treatment, vaginal steam, and leech therapy.

  • How's that all sound?

  • Not great.

  • Do you digitally take the chins out?

  • Hi, welcome.

  • Hi.

  • How are you doing today?

  • I'm good.

  • How are you?

  • I'm good.

  • Ready for your traditional platza treatment?

  • Yeah.

  • What is that?

  • So I'm going to take you into the banya.

  • You're going to lay on your stomach.

  • I'm going to beat you with some oak

  • leafs for about four minutes.

  • And then, right after, we're going

  • to douse you in some ice water.

  • Oh, yeah.

  • That sounds really fun.

  • What's with the hat?

  • That's going to protect you from the heat inside the banya.

  • How hot is it?

  • 220 degrees.

  • That's too hot.

  • And why would a person do that?

  • Well, it's going to help you relieve any muscle tensions.

  • You're going to relax.

  • The leaves will take away any oily skin.

  • So what's your name?

  • I'm Anthony.

  • Anthony.

  • I've never had anyone beat me without telling me their name

  • first.

  • I gotcha.

  • You can step right in.

  • All right.

  • Bye, Anthony.

  • I'll see you in there.

  • OK.

  • All righty.

  • You ready?

  • No.

  • Hi, Anthony.

  • Hello.

  • I moved the hat.

  • Are you ready for me to beat you with some leaves?

  • Oh god.

  • Oh.

  • Oh.

  • OK.

  • Oh.

  • Totally normal.

  • How's that feel?

  • Very relaxing.

  • What's, like, the average-sized person who does this?

  • Are these big dudes--

  • [INTERPOSING VOICES]

  • They're usually big, Russian men--

  • Yeah, yeah.

  • --that drink lots of vodka and beer.

  • Well, we have some things in common.

  • How was this discovered?

  • Who was, like, beating someone with an oak branch and they

  • were like, you look amazing?

  • So are these used on other people

  • or do you use new ones each time?

  • We-- am I supposed to tell you the truth?

  • These have been used on someone else already.

  • What?

  • Who?

  • Some Russian man.

  • This has taken a turn.

  • All righty.

  • So since we just were in the 220 degrees,

  • we're going to douse you with the three buckets of ice

  • and that's going to help with your circulation.

  • You're sure?

  • No!

  • I don't [BLEEP].

  • I don't--

  • [SCREAMING]

  • Holy [BLEEP].

  • [? Oh my god. ?] [? Oh my god. ?] Oh, my god.

  • [SCREAMING]

  • [BLEEP]

  • Holy [BLEEP]!

  • That's cold!

  • How are you feeling?

  • I'm not sure I want to be speaking to you right

  • now, Anthony.

  • So we are coming to the end of your treatment.

  • Oh, what a shame.

  • Anthony?

  • Yeah?

  • I have an idea.

  • The tables have turned, Anthony.

  • Oh, boy.

  • Are you ready for your treatment?

  • Uh--

  • Nice, right?

  • Yeah.

  • This is a traditional Russian massage.

  • And these have been used by seven different people.

  • And let me just put this where it's supposed to go--

  • bink!

  • Bye, Anthony.

  • Think about what you've done.

  • OK.

  • Well, I don't know how else to say this,

  • but I'm going to get my vagina steamed.

  • My name is Marisa.

  • I'm a certified vaginal steam facilitator.

  • Is that what CVS stands for?

  • That's a good one.

  • I never thought about that.

  • Yeah, well, here I am.

  • To give you a background of what vaginal steaming is--

  • it's also known as yoni steaming.

  • Yoni is the Sanskrit word for, "The sacred gateway."

  • It's an ancient women's medicine.

  • It's super relaxing.

  • It's like taking a hot bath.

  • All right.

  • So I'm going to go ahead and have you fill this out.

  • And that way, it gives me better idea

  • of what herbs to use for you.

  • OK.

  • All right?

  • Thank you.

  • Sure.

  • Client name-- Lauren.

  • That is an easy one.

  • Are you currently on your period?

  • I am not.

  • Do you currently have fresh spotting?

  • I do not.

  • Do you have an infection characterized

  • with a burning itch?

  • Marisa!

  • No, and nor would I say so on camera.

  • So the reason why I ask these is if any of this was true,

  • then we would not steam you today.

  • I think it's because you're nosy.

  • Do you have a birth control arm implant?

  • Lesbian.

  • Do you have herpes?

  • No!

  • Vaginal discharge?

  • Do you have green, yellow, white, thick,

  • unpleasant-smelling?

  • No.

  • Be right back.

  • Bye, old baginey.

  • Get ready to be transformed into a new one.

  • We had a good run.

  • Right there is the steam stool.

  • Steam stool?

  • Yes.

  • So it's just like a regular pot.

  • Mm-hmm.

  • I have very similar pots at home.

  • Yeah.

  • So if it's ever too hot, feel free to lift up the skirt

  • and just wave it out.

  • Oh!

  • Good morning!

  • So basically, what you're going to do--

  • Oh, my god.

  • You're going to straddle over it.

  • It should feel good.

  • OK.

  • Oh, god.

  • How is the temperature so far?

  • Is awkward a way to describe a temperature?

  • You're going to have to seat.

  • How do I know that I'm sitting in the right position?

  • Are you comfortable?

  • No.

  • So go ahead and position yourself

  • so that you're comfortable.

  • So--

  • How do you feel?

  • Like, not great.

  • Is there ever, like, a little butt action too,

  • by accident, or no?

  • Possibly, yeah.

  • Good.

  • I'm just curious.

  • Not that that's happening right now.

  • I'm going to go ahead and step out

  • so you can go ahead and continue with this meditative

  • experience.

  • OK.

  • All right?

  • Thank you.

  • You're welcome.

  • Yep.

  • Whew!

  • Sweating.

  • OK.

  • How you doing?

  • Everything all right?

  • I know.

  • It's warm.

  • I'm just going to say words that mean vagina--

  • make the time go faster.

  • Yoni-- I learned that one today.

  • Hooha, vajayjay, coochie-coochie, lady liberty.

  • My mom texted.

  • Sorry, Mom.

  • Can't talk right now.

  • Getting my vagina Stanley Steamer-ed.

  • Lady bits, lady parts, lady flower, steam receptor.

  • Whew!

  • I've got good news.

  • I found my keys.

  • I think it's clean.

  • How are you feeling?

  • Steamed.

  • All right.

  • So I'm going to go ahead and turn this off.

  • Why so soon?

  • You liking it?

  • Steamed out, cleaned out--

  • like a new woman.

  • Nice.

  • Did I do good?

  • You did excellent.

  • Do we, like, hug now or how does it--

  • Yeah, sure!

  • OK.

  • Feels right.

  • Oh, hi!

  • Hi, Lauren!

  • Hi!

  • Nice to meet you.

  • You too, I think.

  • Can I show you my little healers?

  • Oh, god.

  • OK--

  • I don't think I've ever seen a leech--

  • If I can do it, you can do it.

  • That's not true.

  • So what do you think for the beauty, huh?

  • A little bit here?

  • Uh-huh.

  • How about a little here?

  • Yeah.

  • I'm being told, yes.

  • So before I place leeches, with your permission,

  • I would like to check your abdominal area, yeah?

  • My life is not my own.

  • You want to check if there is any tension, OK?

  • Oh, you're going to find a lot of tension.

  • Looks good, looks good.

  • Yeah?

  • Yeah.

  • Like, one of the better ones you've seen?

  • So we're going to start placing leeches first

  • in your belly button.

  • And actually, it's very beneficial

  • before we place leeches to place some cupping on your tummy.

  • That, I've always wanted to try.

  • It's just a cup.

  • Oh, gosh.

  • So I'm going to be in your belly button.

  • Ooh!

  • Ooh!

  • Ooh!

  • Ooh That's not nothing!

  • So we bring lymphatic fluid and blood

  • closer to the surface of the skin, which

  • is good for the body.

  • It's good for the leeches, it sounds like.

  • I am about to feed some leeches.

  • OK.

  • I feel it.

  • Oh, I feel it.

  • Oh, it's moving.

  • You feel a little tingling, right?

  • Yes, I feel that, yes.

  • Yeah.

  • They love this place.

  • This is one of the biologically active spots on the body.

  • Do they ever get lost in the belly button--

  • No.

  • --come out another hole or anything like that?

  • No.

  • I don't know.

  • OK, so now, we're going to work--

  • Oh, god.

  • --with your face.

  • Do they stay there?

  • Oh, yeah.

  • They stay there?

  • So what I'm going to ask you to do yourself,

  • kind of rub a little bit your skin.

  • If they come across any of those pesky chin hairs,

  • can they rip those out while they're up there too?

  • OK, so let's see--

  • Oh, god.

  • Oh, god.

  • Is that one?

  • I can't see.

  • You don't have to see.

  • Oh, I do.

  • The more relaxed you are, the easier they will attach.

  • Look good luck to me!

  • But relax.

  • There's just a leech attaching to your face.

  • [MUSIC - LIONEL RICHIE, "STUCK ON YOU"]

  • (SINGING) Stuck on you.

  • You feel it?

  • Yep.

  • There she is.

  • So this is a live pharmacy.

  • It's antibacterial, anti-inflammatory.

  • It's also very good for the beautiful collagen build-up.

  • Yeah.

  • And you do it yourself?

  • Of course.

  • And you're--

  • Not old.

  • --in your 90s?

  • You look great.

  • You look great.

  • Thank you.

  • (SINGING) Needed a friend.

  • And the way I feel now, I guess I'll be with you till the end.

  • Let me know if you feel it.

  • Yeah, I feel it.

  • She's on.

  • Perfect.

  • Oh, my god.

  • Why did-- what is happening?

  • Shh.

  • Quiet.

  • OK.

  • If I don't look 14 when this is done--

  • oh, god.

  • I'm sorry.

  • No, you're not.

  • That's it.

  • Oh, god.

  • So what it does-- it helps to improve circulation to the skin

  • so you have good skin color, but you already

  • have beautiful skin color.

  • Oh, too late for that compliment.

  • She released her tail, so she's ready to leave your body.

  • I'm ready to leave my body.

  • Bye, number three.

  • I'm going to put the mask and so it would hold the cotton.

  • And am I keeping this on for the rest of the day?

  • Mm-hmm.

  • Oh, I am?

  • Mm-hmm.

  • Going out to Trader Joe's--

  • it's LA.

  • It's LA.

  • Everyone has this.

  • Yeah.

  • They'd be like, oh, you got your leeches done today?

  • So what are recommendations after the treatment, OK--

  • we don't recommend next day to do rigorous exercises.

  • Guess the marathon's out then.

  • Shoot!

  • I'll just stay at home and watch TV.

  • How do you feel?

  • Do you feel anything?

  • I just feel confused about a lot of my life choices.

  • So what I do, in order not to pull the leech--

  • this is alcohol and leeches don't like alcohol, so.

  • I do not have that in common with leeches.

  • Very normal day at the workplace.

  • Well, I think I learned a lot.

  • I've experienced a great deal.

  • And I think I'm happy I did it.

  • We'll see what tomorrow may bring.

  • I didn't cry.

  • That's a win, you know.

[LIVELY UPBEAT MUSIC]

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A2 初級

"不是很好"。勞倫嘗試了水蛭療法、陰道蒸氣和俄羅斯普拉扎按摩。 (‘Not Great’: Lauren tries Leech Therapy, a Vaginal Steam, and a Russian Platza Massage)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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