Me in 30 years.

[GASPS]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Ellen's Booth of Internet Wonders.

Love that.

Love that.

OK, here we go.

Old photo.

[DING]

Bro, you're about to be the bachelor in about 14 years,

so buckle up.

Adventure calls.

[DING]

Aw, that's me.

I would tell that girl that she is enough

and that she's worthy.

[DING]

You will gain some confidence, young man, eventually.

And you'll never wear a white suit ever again.

[DING]

Why can't I look like that without makeup now?

I was so pretty.

[DING]

Oh, there he is, chubby little Jared.

Don't worry about not having a girlfriend right now.

You're going to be just fine.

You're going to have a jaw line.

It's going to all work out, kid.

[DING]

[LAUGHS] Slugger.

You're not an athlete.

Get braces.

Me in 30 years.

[DING]

30 years?

Yeah.

I need to work on my skin routine.

[DING]

I need to get a stash, though.

I need to get my dad stash going,

because it's pretty suss right there, not going to lie.

[DING]

That's really sad.

But I still got my lashes.

[DING]

I need to start doing Botox.

That's what Cass is going to do to me in 30 years?

[DING]

Huh.

She's so cute.

That's a grandma that can get it.

[DING]

Well, I'm thinking I clearly didn't age like fine wine,

drank way too much wine with Kaitlyn.

It's going to be a tough go.

Kaitlyn, would you still stick with me?

[DING]

Still got it.

[DING]

Oh, my god.

[DING]

Ooh, I better lotion up.

That does not look good-- some of those wrinkles.

Meme Of Me.

[DING]

[SIGHS] I told Cary, who was the stylist on the show.

That was his idea.

I was like, I don't feel like this is the move.

He's like, no, it's in.

I'm like, OK.

[DING]

After a guy watches you eat Chipotle.

I was freaked out that I had freaked Chris Soules out

about being a virgin.

But it works with Chipotle, too.

[DING]

[LAUGHS] That's really funny, guys.

That's really funny.

I know.

I'm a-- I look like a baby.

Yup.

I'll do the Do You Remember Tweeting this?

[DING]

"Can I just marry a surfer."

Oh, my gosh.

[DING]

"Skittles taste like the rainbow."

Skittles ended up sending me a bunch of Skittles,

so that was nice.

[DING]

I mean, yeah, I remember tweeting that.

Did you know that I took the epic picture

of Kevin Jonas in the yellow sweater

at the Easter Egg Roll in 2008 going like this?

[DING]

Tweets are pretty much forever.

So yeah, be careful, because you never know what will come back

and bite you.

[MUSIC PLAYING]