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  • Hey, guys, Jocelyn here before we get into all the nitty gritty sonic stuff whiz needs me to direct you to a link in the description.

  • If you follow that link, you'll find a survey, and by filling out that survey, it will help us determine what ads are of most interest to you.

  • I know adds suck, but they really help us keep the lights on.

  • Plus, if you do the survey, you'll be entered to win $100 Amazon gift card and Onley see the ads you like, which is pretty bad ass.

  • So if you want to do us a favor, go fill out.

  • That survey at pod survey dot com slash desk of was said that if enough people fill them out, I could get business cards.

  • I've always wanted business cards.

  • All right, I know you guys are ready for some Corey's a fax about Sonic.

  • But no, not this time.

  • This is a fact free zone because today is a special day.

  • Today is ran today.

  • Sure, I might just be mad and yes, maybe it's because Wiz built that were green stop in the break room, and it turned my sandwich into a sentence.

  • Boot beings.

  • And no, it didn't help that boom stick shot it.

  • But none of that matters because I'm gonna tell you exactly what is wrong with Sonic.

  • I'm Jocelyn, the intern.

  • I do all the research nobody else wants to straight from the desk of death battle.

  • Look, I have nothing against Sonic.

  • No far from it.

  • I have beef with the Sonic fans because they are.

  • The reason will probably never get another good Sonic game again.

  • Check it most of the time.

  • Fan bases.

  • Keep something alive like you guys.

  • Thanks to you watching this, I may be able to get my own office, but the Sonic fans are something different.

  • They suck the life right out of the franchise, pretty much making sure that no matter what happens with Sonic, there will be some form of outrage.

  • Let's start at the beginning, the birth of Sonic.

  • He was born as a joint venture between Sega Japan and Sega America to help compete against Nintendo's new system.

  • Thus, Ness said, the Super Nintendo you know now here is where they messed up.

  • You see second made tons of different sonic continuity ease, although Japan and America had the same games.

  • We got the bulk of our stories from the cartoons, which were vastly different in their respective countries.

  • America had multiple continuity is itself the most popular, one being the Saturday morning cartoon.

  • Siri's better known as SAT A M, which shares a loan of similarities with the Archie comic line.

  • And those two have absolutely nothing in common with the adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon.

  • Europe even had its own comic, Siri's.

  • And of course, Japan was no different.

  • They had a ton of different sonics, ranging from comics, manga, anime, you name it.

  • They had it.

  • Hell, they even had one where he was a schoolboy who turned into sonic.

  • But, hey, in the nineties, it didn't really matter.

  • All of these different fans would never meet up, fracture the audience into multiple warring factions of fandom.

  • Then that exact thing happened thanks to the Internet efforts, it wasn't too bad.

  • I mean, yes, some people wanted this or a VAT in the general story of sonic, but mainly they all wanted more bad ass, fast paced game play.

  • Sadly, we as humans ruined this.

  • Some of you may not remember and I'm ashamed to admit it, but there was a time in the nineties where gamers simply thought more dimensions meant better games and the fuel jar.

  • We then collectively looks Sega in the eye and said, Hey, buddy, if you don't make Sonic three D for the next game, then we will buy it because we're dumb and we don't know any better.

  • Sega, fearing we would give all our money to Nintendo, instead did exactly that, despite the Saturn not being able to support it.

  • Well, Sonic made his jump up in dimensions via Sonic three d Blast, and it was, well, it was just kind of okay, to be honest.

  • But then we got own sonic adventures.

  • Sega changed all the characters and updated their looks and has fractured the community more.

  • But overall sonic adventures was the Holy Grail.

  • We sat with our Dreamcast gleefully spitting on the 64 bit peasants over at Nintendo.

  • But our joy did not last, however.

  • You see, we hastily ask Sega for another, and then adventures to was rushed along.

  • Corners were cut, and somehow we ended up with shadow.

  • At this point, everyone who had grown up with a Genesis move to the left and promptly said at What the hell is this emo look and hedgehog doing here?

  • And then everyone 15 years or younger said, Whoa, cool his black and red and that is so edgy from there on out the world of sonic split in twine.

  • Those who held on to the old and those who embraced the new Sega, confused by thousands of people yelling different demands of them, stroke what may be the largest blow to the fandom that has ever happened.

  • They decided to make a stand alone shadow game and flood the franchise with even more stupid characters.

  • But what really caused chaos was this image of shadow who has an effing gun?

  • Why, I don't know.

  • Sega was probably high on crack from what I can tell, but it happened, and it instantly made a franchise that was always cool by nature seemed like a franchise struggling to remain cool and a pub.

  • But people flip their shit.

  • From this point on, all the separate Sonic fan factions have been asking for their perfect sonic game.

  • So then Sega, in turn, tries to make them all happy, and in doing so They just seemed to piss everyone off even more, Probably because most of the games suck really bad.

  • Now that you can see just how strange and fractured the sonic world is, I would like to bring up one final point.

  • Sonic created worries.

  • Yes, You heard me.

  • It all started in the Sad AM cartoon, Sally.

  • Goddamn Acorn on her own merits.

  • Sally is one bad broad.

  • But she was far too sexualized for an anthropomorphic character on a kids TV show, and they didn't stop there.

  • Look at almost all the female characters in the Sonic franchise.

  • They're all overly sexualized.

  • And this has started a very, very strange subculture.

  • Just Google your name, plus the hedgehog.

  • Seriously, Any name followed by the hedgehog.

  • You just go ahead and follow that rabbit hole down into the depths of Cringe Town.

  • Although Sonic isn't solely to blame, there was also that lustful look Nala had in The Lion King.

  • Between this and Sonic, our generation was predisposition for an anthropomorphic fetish.

  • Yeah, hope you guys enjoy that.

  • No, Don't forget to give this episode of thumbs up and spread the word about the show the other day.

  • Boom, stick looked me right in the eye when I spoke to him.

  • So I think I'm doing something right.

  • If you're new to the show, you can catch up on the previous episodes by clicking the playlist annotation, Watch the episodes and then you can be all smart like.

Hey, guys, Jocelyn here before we get into all the nitty gritty sonic stuff whiz needs me to direct you to a link in the description.

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聲波是如何變得如此糟糕的|死亡之戰的臺詞 (How Sonic Got to Suck So Bad | The Desk of DEATH BATTLE)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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