(Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston)

Wiz: To be the elite, you must surround yourself with the best of the best, whether you band together to save the world...or just a worthless plot of land.

Boomstick: And every good team needs a good hit and runner.

Wiz: Like Tracer, the spunky agent of Overwatch.

Boomstick: And the Scout, the Boston-born merc of Team Fortress.

He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And It's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills, to find out who would win...a DEATH BATTLE.

Thirty years from the present, mankind would become careless.

Their machine servants rose up to fight for freedom, and so began a worldwide war.

Boomstick: But one organization stood between world peace and total chaos:

Overwatch.

A team consisting of the world's greatest scientists, cyborgs, ninjas, cowboys, and pilots.

Wiz: Including Lena Oxton, codename Tracer.

The youngest pilot ever inducted into Overwatch's flight program, Tracer is a free spirited and fearless flying ace, always laughing in the face of danger

Boomstick: After helping secure world peace, (no big deal, right?) she was chosen to test a new prototype fighter jet....which could teleport!

Wiz: But then everything went horribly wrong.

Instead of teleporting from Point A to B, the fighter jet accidentally transported her through time.

Boomstick: How do you accidentally create a time machine and put it in a fighter jet?

Wiz: A word to the wise, this is why you use animals before moving on to human trials, like I always do.

Anyway, Tracer essentially existed as a ghost, uncontrollably phasing in and out of time.

It looked like Overwatch's prized pilot would be decommissioned forever.

Boomstick: Until her teammate, good friend and gorilla scientist Winston made a special techno doohickey to keep her locked in the present.

Wiz: This Chronal Accelerator doesn't just anchor Tracer's time displacement.

It also gives her two different ways to manipulate her own time flow. In a near instant, she can zoom approximately 23 feet away.

This blink ability is not true teleportation, but instead speeds up time only for Tracer, while propelling her in any given direction.

Boomstck: What?

Wiz: She can briefly jump herself forward in time, though from outside it looks like a blur.

Boomstick: Got it.

Wiz: More than that, she can also reverse time for herself with the Recall ability, which returns Tracer's health and spatial position back to where they were a few seconds before.

While usually, Recall only turns back three seconds, in some instances, she's gone as far back as fifteen.

Boomstick: Well, thank God her weapons aren't as confusing as that shit!

She carries dual rapid fire Pulse Pistols as her primary pain dispensers, each can empty twenty rounds in a single second.

Wiz: But what the Pulse Pistols have in power, they sorely lack in range and accuracy.

Boomstick: Good thing she also has her Pulse Bombs!

I'll put it this way, pretty much anybody she sticks this thing to has exactly two seconds to make their peace before going to the big capture point in the sky.

Wiz: Tracer maximizes her unique weaponry with hit and run tactics, frustrating her enemies and making her very difficult to pin down.

Boomstick: Yeah, in addition to blinking and recalling all over the place, she can jump fifteen feet in the air.

Wiz: She's disarmed the highly trained and literally cold-blooded assassin, Widowmaker, protected the Doomfist gauntlet from theft, and even once avoided a sniper shot from just thirty feet away!

A sniper round usually travels almost 18,100 miles per hour when fired, meaning Tracer had to react within one hundredth of a second.

Boomstick: Unfortunately, that bullet found another target.

Girl: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Boomstick: [sighs] Rest in peace, Robot Ghandi.

Wiz: Although Tracer is a slippery opponent on the battlefield, her chronal accelerator has its limits.

If used too many times in succession, it can overheat, forcing Tracer to wait for a recharge.

As her pistols are linked to the accelerator, this can sometimes cause them to overload as well.

Boomstick: Plus, she's a pilot first, and not exactly a crack shot while on foot. If she doesn't get in close, she's not hitting anything but air.

Wiz: In spite of that, Tracer doesn't let any of it get her down.

Wherever there's danger, she'll be there in the blink of an eye, with a cocky smile and a barrage of bullets.

Boomstick: Wait, whatever happened to that time warping fighter jet?

Wiz: I don't know...

Tracer: Uh, don't worry, luvs, cavalry's here!

Wiz: In the year 1850 an extremely wealthy entrepreneur passed away, leaving his family land and his business to his two sons. But like brothers are prone to do they ended up fighting over each other's land right off the bat.

Boomstick: This went on for decades and then the brothers began recruiting mercenaries to literally wage war and that's when things really got out of control.

Wiz: Each higher gun contributed with their own specialized expertise.

Boomstick: The Sniper killed from afar, the Engineer slaughtered with machines, and the Heavy mowed people down with the biggest goddamn gun they'd ever seen.

What kind of sandwiches were they feeding that guy?

Wiz: But one everyman only relied on his cunning, his two feet, and a baseball bat.

This was the Scout.

Born in Boston, Massachusetts in the 1950s, the mercenary only known as Scout was the runt among seven older brothers.

Boomstick: And all of them love to wander the town looking for a good fight.

Problem was, Scout's brothers were so big and tough, the fights would be over before he could get the chance to throw his own punches.

Wiz: Desperate to fight alongside his siblings, Scout realized that what he lacked in strength, he could make up for in speed.

Boomstick: So he started running, and running, and running until one day, he was fast enough to not only keep up, but get ahead.

Wiz: Speed was his moniker, delivering pain was his game, and somewhere along the way, he even learned how to jump off of thin air.

Suddenly, the pathetic runt of the pack became the smart-mouthed terror of Boston.

Scout: Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brotha', I hurt people!

Boomstick: The only thing he was lacking was discipline.

Which he could get in the military, but that didn't sound like any fun so he became a mercenary instead.

Scout travels light relying on a lovely shotgun and a baseball bat.

Yes, a baseball bat.

This guy is crazy enough to try and take out a rocket launcher-wielding Soldier with a pop fly.

Wiz: Which surprisingly works.

Opponents are stunned by the size of his balls, both literally and figuratively, leaving them open for Scout to race up and finish them off with his guns.

Boomstick: While he's got a Pistol for pin-point accuracy, Scout's favorite tools for killing are definitely shotguns.

The Scattergun is a confusing miracle of shotgun-gineering that can somehow hold six shots in a double-barrel, and is reloaded via divine intervention when you pull its lever.

It's like the baby of a shotgun, rifle, and a revolver.

But his most powerful gun is the Force-A-Nature: a shotgun that only has two shots, but kicks so hard, it can boost him even higher into the air.

Wiz: Regardless, a well placed shot can quickly take down almost any mercenary.

To make the Force-A-Nature even more ridiculous, he can strap a can of energy drink called Bonk! Atomic Punch to it, which somehow gives him five more midair jumps.

Boomstick: That's right, this guy flies with shotguns.

But that's not all the soda has to offer. With just a sip of Bonk!, Scout becomes totally invincible for eight seconds, but he can't use any of his guns at that time.

Wiz: Probably due to the shakes. Bonk! contains several hundred times the daily recommended sugar intake.

An adult male's suggested daily dosage is 25 grams, meaning Bonk! contains, at minimum, eleven pounds of sugar.

So much sugar, he can't take another drink for at least twenty seconds, and on top of that, it's radioactive.

Boomstick: You gotta have one tough body to handle that stuff, tough enough to survive the onslaught of three rockets at once, or to swing a baseball bat hard enough to send a guy flying eighty feet away.

Wiz: Possibly due to long term Bonk! exposure, but testing is still out.

Boomstick: Scout can defeat foes as strong as the Heavy in close quarters combat, run seventeen miles an hour for long periods of time, and even kill a bear with nothing but a hotdog suit and Amelia Earhart's skeleton.

I'm serious...

Wiz: He has a knack for avoiding bullets, missiles, and even tentacles from a... bread monster, but at the cost of wearing little to no armor, making him a glass cannon. And true to his reckless, unrestrained personality, Scout often runs headfirst into battle, regardless of the risk.

Boomstick: But if you wanna take down the Scout, your gonna have to catch him before he catches you, that means you too, ladies.

Scout: That's right, fancy pants, myself! So why don't you take your little failure, roll it up sideways, and...

Okay, crap, I gotta go.

Screw you, though.

Wiz: All right, the combatants are set!

Let's end this debate once and for all!

Boomstick: But first i'm feelin' pretty hungry if only there was some sort of amazing service the set of boxes full of food and recipes straight to my door... Oh hey.

Wiz: You know how it is.

Researching characters making them fight to the death is time consuming i don't have time to go to the store or make my own meals.

But i also don't wanna doom my existence to fast-food sugar addiction.

Thankfully Blue Apron changed all of that for less than 10 dollars a meal, Blue Apron sends me seasonal recipes with pre-portioned ingredients to make delicious home-cooked meals.

Each meal comes with an easy step by step recipe which can be prepared in 40 minutes or less.

This chicken stir-fry only took about 20, check out this week's menu and get your first 3 meals free with free shipping by going to Blueapron.com/Battle.

See for yourself how good it feels and tastes to create impeccable home-cooked meals with Blue Apron.

That's Blueapron.com/Battle.

Boomstick: But right now... IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLEEEEEEE!!!!!

Scout: Alright, asshole!

You're toast! Woah!

Uh... hey there, hot stuff.

Tracer: 'ello!

Scout: If I told you you had a great bod, would you, uh, hold it against me?

Tracer: Umm... that's nice. I was just leaving.

Scout: Oh, sure thing, come back anytime.

Just, uh, put that briefcase back before ya go, thanks.

Tracer: Sorry, luv, Overwatch needs this mooooore than you do.

Announcer: FIGHT

Scout: Here!

Shit!

Yo toots, how you doing that?

Tracer: Bombs away!

Scout: Oh that's just great.

Supposedly this stuff'll liquefy your esophagus after just one can, but, ya know, it's also very handy when feel like, not getting blown up.

Tracer: That's not very fair.

Scout: Listen sweetheart...

I never play fair.

Tracer: Is that all?

Aw bullocks!

Scout: Batter at the plate.

It's outta the park!

All right doll, fun's over.

Tracer: Not yet, mate!

The cavalry's here!

Scout: Shit.

Tracer: Not this time yankee!

Scout: Oh come on give me a--

Tracer: Phew!

Well... That was fun.

Announcer: KO

Boomstick: And he's out!

Wiz: Scout was fast and tough, but Tracer's unique arsenal and evasiveness pulled her ahead.

Boomstick: Scout's greatest feat was potentially surviving an assault from three rockets at once, however, the rocket's point of impact is never directly shown, and since direct hits from rockets regularly obliterate far tougher mercs, it's unreasonable to assume this was any different.

Wiz: Scout could sprint up to seventeen miles an hour for an extended period of time, which is slightly faster than the average human's fifteen miles per hour, but Tracer's natural reactive instinct gave her the edge.

For example, avoiding that sniper round from thirty feet away, means she can react twenty five times faster than the vast majority of other human beings.

Boomstick: Which means Tracer could avoid almost anything Scout threw at her, even when she couldn't, her Recall ability not only helped her survive, but effectively ruined any of Scout's elements of surprise.

Wiz: This allowed Tracer plenty of opportunities to take him out.

Boomstick: And just like that, Scout was gone, without a trace.

Wiz: The winner is Tracer.

Boomstick: NEXT TIME ONNNNN DEATH BATTLE.

Ben: Hey guys thanks for watching another episode of DEATH BATTLE. I'm Ben i'm a showrunner and i play Wiz.

Nick: And I'm Nick i wrote this episode.

Ben: And next time we got Ken from Street Fighter but who's he gonna be fighting...

You can find out by sticking to our social media that's at screwattack on Twitter & OfficialSA on Facebook.

Will be letting you know his opponent very soon.

Nick: That's right and if you want to see that episode of DEATH BATTLE early or some other Rooster Teeth's content before other people get to.

You can become a First member by clicking the link in the description below.

Ben: And of course you've got an idea for DEATH BATTLE, let us know in the comments below.

Nick: We do read them.

Ben: Thanks guys.

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