Name: 你好毒！？7 個你對他人有負面影響的徵兆 (7 Signs You're Becoming Toxic)
Uploaded: 2020-09-19T21:01:10.000Z
Duration: 4 min 31 s

As the main characters writing our own stories, we often feel like we're heroes combating everyday life events.

身為自己故事的主人翁，我們常常覺得自己是英雄，迎戰生活中的事情。

But one wrong turn or move and you can end up as the villain.

但只要一個錯誤，我們就會淪為故事中的反派。

Sometimes we can repeat hurtful behavior without meaning to.

有時候我們會在無意間反覆做出傷人的行為。

It doesn't mean you're a bad person, just human.

這不表示你是壞人；人非聖賢。

但是自我覺察可以幫助我們變得更好。

Here are seven surprising signs you're becoming toxic.

以下是七個你變得「有毒」的跡象。

One: You can't seem to maintain relationships.

Ever wonder why your relationships always end up in the dumps?

你是否納悶過為什麼自己的感情總是跌入谷底嗎？

It might have to do with toxic partners, or it might have to do with you.

原因可能在於有毒的伴侶，但也有可能是你。

Toxic relationships aren't always necessarily manipulative, controlling, and abusive.

有毒的關係並不一定都是充滿操弄、控制或惡意。

有時候，他們來自於過度分析。

Studies show that individuals with low self-esteem are more likely to expect rejection from their partner, and avoid telling their partner how they truly feel.

研究顯示低自尊的人較傾向預期伴侶的排斥，並且迴避與伴侶分享他們真實的感覺。

In this case, self-fulfilling prophecies win.

在這個情況，自我應驗預言就會成真。

The more afraid you are that the relationship will fail, the more likely it will.

你越擔心一段關係會失敗，它就越有可能會發生。

Two: You can't fully trust your friends and you drain them out.

二：你無法完全信任你的朋友且讓他們感到疲憊。

Do you feel like you have more enemies than friends, or worse, are your friends just enemies in disguise?

你覺得你的敵人比朋友還多嗎？或更糟，你覺得你的敵人佯裝成你的朋友嗎？

Behavioral scientist Clarissa Silva says, we are supposed to be a better version of ourselves in our relationships, and support each other's goals, but when you're too busy making everything a competition...

行為科學家 Clarissa Silva 說，我們在一段關係中，應該要變得更好，並支持彼此的目標，但當你忙著把一切視為競爭時...

No one wants to keep up with that attitude.

Instead, Silva states, you'll begin to drain people out rather than energizing them.

相反地，Silva 說，你會耗盡人們的精力，而不是激勵他們。

On top of that, with your obsession on surpassing them, you'll forget to provide the emotional support that your friends need.

此外，當你著迷於超越他們，你會忘了提供他們所需的情感支持。

Three: You apologize once in a blue moon.

Psychologists Abigail Brenner says that toxic people often claim the victim card, meaning that they seldom ever take accountability for their own actions.

心理學家 Abigail Brenner 說，有毒的人通常扮演受害者。 也就是說，他們甚少為自己的行為擔起責任。

When you have a hard time swallowing your pride and apologizing, this can truly sabotage your relationships.

當你因自大而不願道歉時，這很可能摧毀一段關係。

In fact, researchers discovered that there are many benefits to the art of apologizing, such as stress relief and rekindling friendships.

事實上，研究人員表示，道歉有很多好處，像是釋放壓力和重修舊好。

When you don't say you're sorry, you miss out on understanding how you might have hurt someone.

拒絕道歉時，你則錯過機會了解你可能帶來的傷害。

Do you have a habit of breaking promises or leaving others hanging?

你是否有不遵守諾言或放人鴿子的習慣呢？

Consistency is important, but when it isn't, serious consequences follow.

保持一致很重要；若沒做到，會有很嚴重的後果。

According to psychologist Perpetua Neo, bringing drama to the table, such as spreading rumors and starting fights, is a big red flag you're becoming toxic.

根據心理學家 Perpetua Neo，製造戲劇化的場面，例如散播謠言或激發爭鬥，是你變得有毒的危險跡象。

Is telling a grandiose story really more important than your friend's feelings?

說誇大其辭的故事真的比你朋友的感覺更重要嗎？

This is different from tuning in to the Psych-2-Go channel to watch our new uploads.

這和定時觀看 Psych2Go 頻道的影片不一樣。

Who doesn't appreciate many likes on Facebook and Instagram?

誰不喜歡臉書或 IG 的「讚」呢？

But when your self-image becomes a bigger priority than staying present, that can lead to a bigger problem.

但是當你的自我形象變得比保持參與來得重要時，這會導致更大的問題。

Dr. Sadie Letterelder says that letting technology get the best of you can make you accidentally be the toxic one in your relationship.

Sadie Leder Elder 博士說，若科技蒙住了你的判斷力，你會在無意間成為關係中有毒的那一方。

When you rely on an audience for validation, you also rely on social media for ego boosts.

當你依賴觀眾給予肯定，你也會依賴社群網路提升自尊。

This may cause others to resent you for having your eyes glued to your phone, rather than on them.

這可能會導致其他人對你緊盯著手機而感到不悅。

Six: You talk about people behind their backs.

High school drama sucks, and if you constantly talk about people behind their backs, it'll feel like you never left, even when you graduated.

高中時期的八卦最糟了。如果你隨時暗地裡說人閒話，感覺就好像就算你已經畢業，卻還是沒有長大。

You might think you're avoiding conflict when you complain on the down-low, but passive-aggressive behavior becomes a gateway to becoming toxic.

你可能以為偷偷抱怨可以避免衝突，但被動侵略性行為會讓人變有毒。

When you can't openly share your opinions with others in a healthy fashion, it only hurts them in the long run.

長期來看，無法以健康的方式分享你的意見，只會傷害到他人。

Even if you never meant to cause harm in the first place, people always have a way of finding out the truth.

就算打從一開始你沒有傷人的意圖，真相總是會傳到當事人耳中。

Seven: You shut others out when their opinions differ from yours.

Dr. Brenner says that being judgmental is a common characteristic toxic people possess.

Brenner 博士說，愛批評是有毒的人常有的一個特質。

When you dominate the conversation and shut others out for having different thoughts, you end up marginalizing them.

當你主導對話，並不讓想法不同的人發言，你也就排擠了其他人。

Not acknowledging another side of the argument doesn't make you right, it just makes you close-minded.

不願承認反方意見並不表示你就是對的，這只讓你顯得很封閉。

Do you admit that you're becoming toxic, or knows someone who relates to these signs?

你承認自己是有毒的人嗎？還是認識有人符合這些跡象呢？

Please share your thoughts in the comments down below.

You can also join our community of Psych-2-Goers who help each other out in the comments.

你可以加入 Psych2Go 的留言社群，互相協助彼此。

Pressing subscribe really helps us out a lot, thanks so much for watching.

訂閱頻道來幫助我們。感謝觀看這支影片！