Everybody's screwing off for the last few hours of the school year.

每個人都在學年的最後幾個小時亂搞。

Your teacher's sitting there and smoking a cigarette.

你的老師坐在那裡抽菸。

She's pissed off. She's gonna lose the paycheck for the next three months.

她氣死了，她接下來三個月都領不到薪水。

"Yeah, I hope you little assholes have a good vacation!"

「對啦，希望你們這些小混蛋有個好假期！」

"Now I have to supplement my income by being a waitress at a goddamn Applebee's all summer long."

「我現在整個夏天都得去連鎖餐廳 Applebee's 當服務生，補貼我的薪水。」

But you didn't care about her problems.

但你根本不在乎她的問題。

All you cared about was freedom.

你只關心你的自由。

"Oh my God! We're gonna do so much stuff!"

「我的老天啊！我們要做超多事情的！」

"Think about all the stuff that we're gonna do!"

「想想那些我們要做的事！」

I got a huge list of stuff and things that we're gonna do all summer long.

我有一張很大的清單，寫著我們夏天要做的事。

And at the start of your summer vacation, it's pretty sweet.

暑假一開始時，真的蠻好玩的。

You're throwing your vortex footballs around and drinking your Capri Suns,

你把你的漩渦足球到處亂扔，狂喝你的果汁。

but then like three days go by, all of a sudden, you're bored as hell!

但三天過去，這一切突然都變得超級無聊！

You did all that stuff that you had planned!

你已經做完所有計畫好的事情了！

And you did all the things as well.

所有事都做完了。

Now you don't know what to do with yourself.

現在你不知道該拿自己怎麼辦了。

You're just standing there in your front yard, staring at each other.

你們就站在前院，互相盯著看。

The hot-ass summer sun's burning your pale skin.

熱到爆的夏天艷陽曝曬著你蒼白的皮膚。

"Jesus Christ, Michael, I am so sick of looking at your stupid fucking face, you know that?"

「我的老天啊！Michael，我好厭倦你他 X 的笨臉，你懂嗎？」

"With your dumb haircut and your stupid Scotty Pippen jersey!"

「你的髮型很笨，你的 Scottie Pippen 球衣也超笨！」

"We're done playing all your Nintendo games."

「我們玩夠你的任天堂遊戲了。」

"And we broke all your wrestling action figures, so now what the hell are we supposed to do?"

「我們把你所有摔角公仔都弄壞了，所以現在到底能幹嘛？」

So you get a little desperate. You start making up games to play.

你變得有點絕望，開始創造遊戲來玩。

And the games, they aren't even really games.

那些遊戲並不是真的遊戲。

It's just things that you throw together, off the cuff.

只是隨便湊出來的東西。

There's not even a point to them.

甚至一點意義都沒有。

"Hey, you guys wanna play 'dodge the cars on the busy intersection'?"

「嘿，你們想不想玩『在熱鬧的路口躲車』？」

"Yeah, okay, let's do it!"

「好啊，來玩吧！」

Just games that were a little dangerous, you know, games you couldn't win, but you could sure as shit lose, that's for sure.

有點危險的遊戲，你懂的，你贏不了的遊戲，但你他 X 當然能輸很慘。

"Alright, Tommy, we're gonna see how many times you can hit that beehive over there with this hockey stick."

「好，Tommy，我們來看看你可以用這根曲棍球棒打到那個蜂窩幾次。」

"Let's see if you can break the record. The record is...zero!"

「我們來看看你能不能破紀錄！紀錄是⋯⋯零！」

"Alright, you ready?"

「好，準備好了嗎？」

"Okay, let's do it!"

「好，來吧！」

"Ah, man, he's like Macaulay Culkin in My Girl!"

「啊，老天，他看起來好像《小鬼初戀》裡的 Macaulay Culkin！」

"His glasses—he can't see without his glasses!"

「他的眼鏡！他沒戴眼鏡就看不到啦！」

Sometimes we'd go out and we'd play in the rain.

有時候我們會出去在雨裡玩耍。

That was an activity to us, something that we looked forward to doing.

這對我們來說是項活動，我們會很期待去玩。

"Ah, sweet, it's raining!"

「啊，爽，下雨了！」

"Let's go get our swimsuits on and see how sick we can get!"

「我們去穿泳裝，看看我們能病得多嚴重！」

"I bet I can get sicker than you!"

「我賭我可以比你更嚴重！」

"You're on!"

「來比啊！」

David's already got his shirt off.

David 已經把他的衣服脫掉了。

Michael's somewhere drinking out of the gutter.

Michael 在某處喝排水溝的水。

Michael was a weird kid.

Michael 是個怪小孩。

He'd do this thing where he'd collect water in a garbage can lid.

他會用垃圾桶蓋接水。

And he'd just dump it all over himself.

接著把水倒在身上。

"It's a waterfall!"

「是瀑布！」

"Michael, you sick animal, what are you doing?"

「Michael，你這怪咖！你在幹嘛？」

"You're gonna get typhus, or some shit!"

「你會得斑疹傷寒，或什麼鬼病的啦！」

"You backwards idiot, what the hell is the matter with you?"

「你個白癡，到底在幹嘛啦？」

There'd be like a tornado warning on TV.

可能電視上警告會有龍捲風。

Somebody's parents would be like: "Hey, you guys being careful out there?"

有人的父母就會說：「嘿，你們在外面有小心嗎？」

"Yeah, we're being careful!"

「有啊，我們很小心！」

Sometimes, when it was raining really hard, we would play a game called "twister."

有時雨下得很大時，我們會玩一個叫扭扭樂的遊戲。

No, not the game with the spinner and the dots!

不是那個要轉跟踩點的遊戲啦！

That your uncle would try to make you play naked, not that one!

不是你叔叔會逼你裸體玩的那個遊戲！

Twister, like the movie, 1996. Bill Paxton, God rest his soul, did some of his worst acting ever.

是 1996 年 Bill Paxton 演的電影《龍捲風》，願他安息，他在電影裡的演技很糟。

"Oh no, Helen Hunt, it's an F5 tornado. I'm super scared right now."

「噢不，Helen Hunt，是 F5 級的龍捲風，我現在好害怕。」

We'd all fight over what characters we were gonna be.

我們會吵自己要當哪個角色。

"I'm gonna be Bill Paxton!"

「我要當 Bill Paxton！」

"Well, shit, okay, I'm gonna be Philip Seymour Hoffman then."

「好啊，那我要當 Philip Seymour Hofman。」

"Well, who the hell am I supposed to be now?"

「欸，那我現在要當什麼？」

"I don't know, Michael, I guess you're Helen Hunt, okay? Sorry, you are a girl."

「我也不知道欸 Michael，我猜你只能當 Helen Hunt 了，好嗎？抱歉，你得當女生。」

"Go put a mop on your head or some shit. I could really give a shit."

「在你頭上放個拖把或隨便什麼鬼，我根本不想鳥。」

"Oh, hell no, I'm not being a girl. How about I be..."

「噢，不要啦，我不要當女生啦！如果我當⋯⋯」

"The cow that gets sucked up by the tornado?"

「被龍捲風吸起來的牛呢？」

"A cow? You're gonna be a cow, Michael? Are you serious?"

「一隻牛？你真的要當一隻牛嗎，Michael？你認真的嗎？」

"Michael, you're not being a fucking cow, alright?"

「Michael，你不要當一隻他 X 的牛好嗎？」

"Alright, I guess I'll be..."

「好啦，那我當⋯⋯」

"the tornado!"

「龍捲風好了！」

"How the hell are you gonna be a tornado, Michael, you serious?"

「你是要怎麼當龍捲風啦，你是認真的嗎 Michael？」

"You know what, to hell with it, be the tornado. I could care less."

「隨便啦，你就當龍捲風，我才不想管。」

In this movie, they would chase tornadoes around in a convoy of vans,

在電影裡，他們會結隊開廂型車追龍捲風。

but since we were children, we didn't have a convoy of vans.

但因為我們只是小孩，我們沒有廂型車。

We had to use a wagon.

我們只能用手推車。

And we don't have any tornadoes to chase.

而且我們沒有龍捲風可以追。

So we had to use...

所以我們只能用⋯⋯

Well, we used Michael!

呃，我們用 Michael！

"I am a tornado!"

「我是一個龍捲風！」

"What the hell is that? What are you doing?"

「這他 X 是什麼？你在幹嘛？」

"Is that what a tornado sounds like to you?"

「你覺得龍捲風是這種聲音嗎？」

"I am an F5 tornado!"

「我是 F5 級的龍捲風！」

Our parents would be watching us from the window, wondering where the hell they went wrong with raising us.

我們的父母會從窗戶看，想著他們在扶養我們的時候到底出了什麼錯。

"I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna suck you silly!"

「我會抓到你！我會把你吸起來的，笨蛋！」

We'd just run around the neighborhood like a bunch of drunken idiots.

我們會在街坊跑來跑去，像一群喝醉的白癡。

You'd come back in your house late at night, sopping wet.

回到家後，很晚了，你渾身溼透。

"Jesus Christ, you look like a soggy turd, you know that?"

「老天爺！你看起來像一坨濕掉的大便，你知道嗎？」

"Did you have fun out there?"

「好玩嗎？」

"Uh...well...almost some, I guess."

「呃⋯⋯還蠻好玩的吧！」

You go to your friend's house the next day. Their parents answer the door.

隔天你到朋友家，他們的父母來開門。

"Can Michael come out and play?"

「Michael 可以出來玩嗎？」

"No, he caught pneumonia last night. He's dead. Thanks a lot!"

「不行，他昨晚得肺炎，他死了，謝啦！」

And that was summer vacation.

這就是暑假了。

Sometimes you got hurt.

有時你會受傷⋯⋯

Sometimes you ended up dead.

有時最後你就死了。

You're back to school in the fall.

秋天，你回到學校。

And the teacher is asking everybody if they had a good summer.

老師問大家夏天有沒有過得愉快。

"Yeah, we went to Mount Rushmore, and we got a puppy!"

「有哇，我們到拉什莫爾山，還養了隻小狗！」

I'm over there. I got my arm in a sling with a black eye, looking like Mankind after a Hell in a Cell match.

我坐在那裡，手被吊起來，眼睛也黑青，看起來像剛打完地獄鐵龍的類人克。

"Well, for my summer, let's see...I got hit by a Volkswagen."

「呃，我的夏天啊⋯⋯我被一台福斯撞⋯⋯」

"I got stung 47 times by a bunch of bees."

「我被一窩蜜蜂盯了 47 次。」

"And three of my friends died from exposure."

「三個朋友因為受寒死了。」

"So no, not quite as good as Mrs. Mount Rushmore Puppy's over there."

「所以，比起那裡的拉什莫爾山小狗太太，不好。」