Last week, I made some of the finest spaghetti ever known to man

上禮拜，我做了世界一級棒的義大利麵

AAAAAAAAAA

啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊

But today, we're making goddamn ham ber ger

而今天我們要來做他媽的漢堡

*Hamburger meme effect*

夯八嘎

Now I never done hamburgers before, so hopefully this will go okay alright?

我從來沒做過漢堡，希望一切順利呦拜託

Let's just start by getting a pot

咱們拿個鍋子

I actually know how to make hamburger, okay? I know you're gonna be like

我知道怎麼做漢堡好嗎，我知道你們等下會——

*Unintelligible mutter* Alright.

murmurmurmurmurmur

I knew - I know how to do it, and I'm gonna follow the recipe, because this time, I know how to play the game,

哇災哇災我知道怎麼做，我會按照食譜ㄉ，因為這次我知道要怎麼玩

So I know what I'm doing (Very questionable Felix.), Okay?

我知道我在做什麼好ㄇ

Just add a little bit of olive oil, and the meat is in here, right? There it is. Look at that beautiful burger meat.

加點橄欖油，再加點肉在這～ 嘿～看看這美麗的漢堡肉～

Hamburger.

ㄏㄢˋ ㄅㄠˇ

Put it in.

放進去

Alright.

好喔

Cook that baby

煮這個北鼻

It's hamburger soup. You've never had hamburger soup?

這是漢堡湯 你們從來沒喝過漢堡湯？

Let's double up on the beef.

再放個牛肉

Oh wow.

喔哇嗚

That looks good. Can we add a third one?

這看起來超讚ㄉ 再加上第三個？

My God it's a hamburger tower. Can we get a fourth one?

OMG是漢堡塔 可以再加第四個嗎

Aww that's beaut - AAAAAAA!!11! NO!!1!

噢這真美——啊啊啊啊啊啊！不！！！

Goddamn it!

他ㄇ的

uh- let's add some cheese on it

喔，加個起司好了

let's add some f--[weird voice]: (hamburger) cheddar---

來加個（謎之音漢堡）切達乳酪

Does that melt ?

它會融化嗎

Alright, that's how you cook hamburger

這就是煮漢堡的方法

NOW

現在

We obviously wanna make some fries as well

很明顯我們非常想要來些薯條

so just grab your potaters

所以拿顆馬鈴薯

Jacksepticeye will like this a bit (watching his family get roasted)

Jacksepticeye會喜歡這個的

so just chop your taters

接下來切這個馬鈴薯

Just like that

就像這樣切

This is a hard potater

好硬的馬鈴薯

A very hard potater

超硬ㄉ

Doesn't wanna get chopped

他不想被切

Whatever, I don't care

隨便啦，我才不管

Alright, so let's put these in the fryer

好啦，我們把這個放到油炸槽裡

I think I have a fryer, yeah

我記得我有油炸槽，對

Cool

酷喔

Cool, well most of them hit

大部分都有進

So now let's

我們現在呢

Oh, cool! Alright

噢酷，好喔

Oh that's awesome you can fry stuff!

這太讚了你可以炸東西

Ok

ok

Let's check how the burger's doing

來看看漢堡肉怎麼樣

Oh that looks........

痾這看起來

Maybe we need to add just a hint of olive oil

或許我們需要再加點橄欖油

To cover--oh god, the cheese!

來蓋過——噢天那個起司！

Why's the cheese not melting, dude?

為啥起司沒融化啊？！

Alright, maybe that'll do it

好吧或許這樣可以

Alright, let's check on our golden boy

好啦來看看我們的黃金好朋友

Are they supposed to be black?

他們是會變黑嗎

Oh, ok, ahh, that looks awesome!

噢OK，嘿這看起來超棒的！

Alright, let's put that in

把他放進去

What else can you fry?

還有什麼可以炸？

I've always, like, wanted to experiment

我一直想實驗一下

with frying things

炸東西

Like, I've always wanted to fry my...

像是我一直想炸

pumpkin

南瓜

Dunk it!

投進去

Here we go

來囉

[airhorn]

他進籃了讚喔

And he scores. Alright

我們就燉它吧baby

Let's just let that simmer, baby

我想我們的漢堡肉已經好了

Alright, I think our hamburgers are done

我們把它放到這裡

Uh, so let's just take this here

然後拿個盤子

Aaand let's grab a plate

我最好拿大一點的盤子

I'll probably grab the biggest plate

因為我不想——

Because I don't want---

( ｀・ω・´) 　 ⊃ .. ⊂ 　 　 ‘∵ 　 　　　 ‘:’

[shatter]

(夯八嘎)

[weird voice]: h am burger

我們得讓它好看一點

Alright we gotta make it look good

要怎麼放啊，好了

How do I put it down? There we go

一起來倒漢堡湯

But let's pour our hamburger soup

Oh yeah

Oh yeah

嘿 就是這樣

Oh yeah, that's what came out of it [laughter]

起司看起來蒸蚌

The cheese looks so good

噢ㄍㄢ，我們還有薯條

Oh, sh**, let's not forget about our fries

OK看起來不錯，真的不錯

Okay, they look good. They're good

那南瓜勒？

How's the pumpkin?

OK我們要拿漢堡的麵包

Okay, so we need to get the hamburger bread

所以我們要做的事就是

So what you wanna do is you wanna just

把它放在上面

Put it on top of here

完美

There you go

直接煮它

Just cook it directly

OK煮好了

Alright, that's cooked

現在，把它放在盤子上

Now, let's put that down on the plate

我要怎麼把它翻過來

How do I rotate it?

我翻

Rotate...

ＯＫ讚讚

Okay, perfect

放下來

Put it down...

他ㄇ的

Goddamn it!

翻過來

Rotate,

放下

put down

翻過來

Rotate,

放下

put down

算了直接把它丟過去——NO?

Alright, let's just throw it--no?

( ｀・ω・´) 　 ⊃ .. ⊂ 　 　 ‘∵ 　 　　　 ‘:’

[shatter]

哩勒嘎哇——（消音漢堡）

ARE YOU F---[weird voice]: h am burger

這到底要怎麼弄啊？！

How is that even possible?

我要怎麼放下去啦？

How do I put it down?

烤完了嗎，烤完了

Are you done? Yeah, it's done

漢堡麵包毀滅者

Destruction hamburger bread

好啦再拿個一樣的盤子（碎

Alright, let's maybe grab a smaller plate [shatter]

幹（漢堡）

God-- [weird voice]: b u r g e r

混帳

frick

OK

ok

小心放下

Careful now, we will put down,

非常溫柔的

very gently,

放下去

put it down

要怎麼翻過來啦！！

I NEED IT TO GO UPWARDS!

( ｀・ω・´)ㄎㄨㄤ 　 ⊃ .. ⊂ 　 　 ‘∵ 　 　　　 ‘:’

[shatter]

啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊(蹦

AHHHH [explosion]

哇災啊，我們需要痾...噢天那個南瓜

I have an idea. We need the..err...Oh god the pumpkin.

(悲淒BGM

[sad music]

這看起來不太OK

That does not look good

我有夾夾

I have more pressing matters

OK我可以，我們要—

Ok, I got it. We need to u-

一切非常好

That's fine!

五秒原則五秒原則！

Five second rule, five second rule!

五秒原則五秒原則！！！！

FIVE SECOND RULE, FIVE SECOND RULE!

安啦

There it is

OK放下來

Ok, put it down

輕輕的輕輕的

Gently, gently

你他ㄇ——靠杯啊

Are you f-- Goddamn it!

我做到了 我做到了 我做到了 我做到了

[applause] I did it, I did it, i did it, I did it

OK我不知道我是怎麼做到的，反正我成功啦

[applause] Okay, I don't know how I did it, but I did it

現在來拿漢堡肉

Now let's grab the burger

ok, ok, ok, ok

ok, ok, ok, ok

花生什麼素？

What the hell is happening?

它浮起來了！

It's hovering!

蝦毀啦

What?

年度最佳遊戲啊各位

[laughter]

直直放下去

Game of the year, everyone

(´థ౪థ)σ

Move down vertically

我已經不介意再拿另一個盤子了

[shatter]

我根本看不到你啊

You know, I can't be bothered getting another plate

吼是怎樣啦

I can't even see where you're going!

麵包飛去哪裡啦？

Oh my god fu--

放下

And where did the bread go?

直直落 直直落

Goddamn itttt

然後放下去

Drop it

下去

Move down vertically, move down vertically

下去

And then drop it

下去！！！！

Drop it

OMG超完美的！！！！

Drop it

OK

DROP IT!

我們可以的

[gasp]

那—那顆南瓜怎麼樣

OH MY GOD THAT'S PERFECT

(悲傷BGM

Ok

它OK的啦

We got this, fam

現在，我們要做的是

How-how's the pumpkin?

我們要做的事就是把它穩穩的放在——

[sad music]

我的老天鵝啊我成功了！！！

Pumpkin's fine

它超high的它在跳舞耶

Now, all we have to do

哇災！

All we have to do is get that burger on top of---

我們要放雙層沒錯吧

[gasp]

為什麼變黃色ㄉ？

OH MY GOD I DID IT!

怎麼會變成這樣？

HE'S SO HAPPY, HE'S DANCING!

這啥啦？

I know!

蛤？

We did decide to double up, ok?

這是——哦這是起司融化了啦！

Why is it yellow?

成功啦！

Why does it look like that?

切達起司融化了

What is this?

這樣會超好吃ㄉ

what?

所以我只需要按E鍵

Is that the ch-- Oh the cheese melted!

(((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))

It worked!

喔喔喔喔喔喔

The cheddar cheese melted

喔喔喔喔喔喔

This is gonna be delicious!

這就是我要的！

Alright, so I literally just pressed 'E'

現在我們再拿另一個漢堡麵包

[ding] [airhorn] [gasp]

我們只需要——只要把它放上去就好了

OHHH!

(⁎⁍̴̛ᴗ⁍̴̛⁎)

OHHH!

(((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))

That's what I'm talking about!

喔喔喔喔喔喔喔

Now, let's get another hamburger bread

一起來拿薯條嘍

We gotta put--this one we just gotta put down on top

老兄,我真是個料理小天才

[ding]

輕輕的

[gasp]

輕輕的

OHHH!

這樣就很好了

Alright, let's get the fries, let's get the fries

對我來說這樣就好了

Dude, I'm a culinary genius

啊ㄊㄇㄉ，它露出來ㄌ

Gently

我想我已經知道方法了

Gently

不是

I mean that's good enough for me--oh

啊啊啊啊啊啊啊

That's good enough for me

五秒原則！

Goddamn it, it's seeping out!

噢wwwww

I think I know the trick now

NO

No...

Nooooooo

AHHHHH

夠好了

Five second rule!

Alright

Awww :(

我喜歡起司

No

所以我要加點起司在上面

NOoo

我要怎麼把南瓜拿出來啦？

Alright, good enough

鍋鏟！

Alright

當然

Now, I like cheese,

XDDDDD

so I'm going to get some extra cheese on top

這看起來超棒的！‘

How do I get the pumpkin out of there?

XDDDDDDD

Spatula!

NO NO回來啊啊

Of course!

Alright

[laughter]

我知道我不應該這樣做

That looks SO good!

有鑒於上次的慘狀

[laughter]

但我真的只想讓起司融化

[sad music] NO! NO! COME BACK!

一點點就好

Alright

噢天，發生什麼事？

I know I'm not supposed to do this

啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊(蹦

cuz of how it went last time

幹你天殺的噴槍！

But I really just want to melt my cheese

我只是想——噢不要噢！

Just a little bit

{\__/} (⁍̥̥̥д⁍̥̥̥)

Oh god, what's happening?

馬鈴薯還在

[explosion] AHHHH!

你！

GODDAMN BLOWTORCH!

都你害的！

I just wanna---oh god no!

( ；д；)

[sad music]

噢不要噢又來了

It's still a potato

煩ㄋㄟ！！！

YOU!

喔喔喔我的食譜！

YOU DID THIS!

拯救食譜

[sad music]

幹門燒起來了啦！

Oh god, no, nono not again!

為什麼這一直發生在我身上啦？

Goddamn it!

這根本沒路用！

Awww not my cooking book!

(PД`q。 ) ·。 ' ゜

Save the cooking book!

好啦來做甜點好了

The f***ing door is on fire!

我們要做南瓜派

Why does this keep happening to me?

原料就是

This does NOTHING!

南瓜和

[sad music]

萊姆汁

Alright, so for dessert,

蒸蚌

We're gonna make pumpkin pie

為了在炸它一次

Which is basically,

我們需要加點額外的燃料

pumpkin and...

安啦我之前有做過

lime juice

不用擔心啦

That looks good

然後把南瓜放上去

And then you wanna fry it again

非常好

Then you wanna add little bit of extra power on it

淦拎娘！！！

It's fine, I've done this before

啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊

don't worry about it

成品完成啦

And then let's put that pumpkin down

漢堡和南瓜汁

And there you go, there you have it

這怎麼還在燒啦？

Goddamn itttttt!!

丟出去啦！

AHHHH!

三小啦！！！！

And there you have it, everyone

我要怎麼滅火啊？

Hamburger with pumpkin juice

好啦各位，這就是漢堡和南瓜派．．．

How is that still on fire?

美味的——喔喔喔喔我的水果啊！

Put it out!

燒起來了啦！！

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!!?

我們之後來做Pewdie Pie，下週見

HOW DO I PUT THIS OUT?!!?!

（ㄏㄢˋ ㄅㄠˇ）

Alright, well, that was a hamburger pumpkin pie...

Delicious---ohhh not my fruits!

My fruits are on fire!!!

See you guys next week, where we will make Pewdie Pie

[weird voice]: Hamburger

*Download tuber simulator available for free and that's a great price *