AHHHHHH

啊啊啊啊啊啊

Oh, hey how's it going bros?

嘿 兄弟們

Welcome back to another episode of "Resident Evil 7"

(吸)

Alright, so, right off the bat, I read you bro's comments and,

歡迎回到這個遊戲

apparently a little hidden secret down here

惡靈古堡....

that I missed completely

~!@#$%...七！

So I appreciate the little tips and tricks that you bros give me.

我稍微看了之前網友的留言

What do we have?

很明顯的

A box!

這裡有一條非常秘密的密道

Hehehehehe.... Box!!

然後我完全沒注意到

Hell Yea motha' fucka'

非常感謝你們提供的小提示

Alright,

來看看這裡有什麼

Nice little creepy shed there, appreciate it.

一個箱！子！

Uhh, now we have,

阿哈哈...哈哈.........

I guess we have a broken hand gun and

箱！！！子！！！

a broken shotgun

水啦 媽惹發科

I'm just gonna repair the broken hand gun cause

有一間怪怪的小屋

I can't be bothered to go and get the broken shotgun

所以我們現在有

Is that okay with you?

我想我們應該有壞掉的手槍跟壞掉的散彈槍

Great,

我先把手槍修好好了

Great I'm glad we agree on things

這樣我就暫時不用煩惱散彈槍的問題了

Broken handgun

你說對嗎(盯)

Alright great

很好

Uhh, use it on the repair kit

很好 很高興我們有共識

Excellent

壞掉的手槍...

Oh they have different max? Okay, okay

呃...

okay

...在這邊點擊修復

more ammo for me. Is there anything else we need?

不錯喔

I think we're good to rock and roll

咦？彈夾容量不一樣？

MothaFucka

好吧

let's do this we're going to the party

好吧

Hell Yeah! I used to work at a night club

好吧

So uh, I know how to handle the fucked

給我更多子彈吧

up drunk people

還有什麼要做嗎

oh my god it's bleach I mean hey bro

我想我們已經準備好要HIGH一波囉 媽der發科

doesn't even load

走吧 去參加派對吧

HEY POODS

水喔

Hey bro its a fucking nice atmosphere in there.

我之前在夜店上過班所以

lot of hoes, lot of bitches

我知道怎麼搞定那些

G-go on in

喝到爛醉的人

alright alright bro man bleach such a

喔我的天 是漂白水！

bro who would have thought

我是說 嘿老兄

lets

(笑)

play

裡面什麼都沒裝

yay

(岔氣)

oh how nice

嘿 噗滋(Pewds)

alright i can't play for too long today

嘿兄弟

because it saturday and i usually take

那邊真的有夠HIGH 已經有一堆錶O在狂歡了

Saturdays off i will spend it with Marzia so..

快上去吧

I know this was probably a bit

好喔 老兄

shorter. Dude not so close

想不到漂白水真是個男人

Jesus Christ

來....

ETHAN BRADBERRY

來....玩

He's so fuckin creepy

YA

Oh great an alien fetus

喔 不錯喔

I don't know... a dildo?

(ROCK)

Oh, god.... no

我沒辦法玩太久 因為星期天我通常都在家陪Marzia

AGH!

我知道這樣有點快

Who's Eveline?

欸 別這麼近 同學

Found ya'll?

天啊

Yes, that's me

(測試中)

Bradberry

伊森~

Ohh baby~

伊叭啦叭逼

Oh I'll come through you

伊~~~~~~森

I'll come through you with my.... dick!

他真的超有病

AH, shit.. haha nice, nice- fuck indeed

等等！等等！我有東西要給你

alright so we have a new gun i suppose

你看你看~~我拿到什麼~

no we don't have a new gun

喔 是外星人小公仔

Uhh...

你知道這是要做什麼的嗎

Uh fuck..uhh

你知道柔伊很想要這個嗎

Relatively powerful. Great, great just fucking great

不...

How's it look? Looks pretty cool..

不...知道

PEWDS you should have a shotgun! God dammit!

他以為這個東西很特別

Why didn't you tell me then?!

不 伊森

Heh!

那太無聊了

Oh geez, is that a trap?

這個...

Oh my god.. it's a BOX!!!

現在你看到的才是最有趣的

Handgun ammo!

看到了嗎 伊森

what if you just go underneath- Hey!

不是所有人都想

high five! fuck yeah!

讓時間回到過去的

He-hey! High five!

幹嘛！

i have no friends.

幹嘛！伊芙琳

Right on her ass. Nicely placed

我才正在告訴他

mate. Nicely placed not very discreet

不是每個人都想讓事情回到原來那個樣子

though! But nicely placed. OH god another one

柔伊是個賤人

Fuck, they're everywhere. Hey barrel how you

嗯哼 我在

doing y-you look pretty good man

!@#$%

Can I crawl underneath? Fuck, I got a cold, man.

(嗝)

WAIT, there's a treasure hidden here!

喔~BABY

I recognize this place

呵 通過你那關嗎

WHAT! HELL YEAH! WHAAAT! WHAAT

我用我的....屌通過你( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

WHA- Oh shit oh shit there's a trap in the

漂亮

fucking ceiling

漂亮

Okay so now we can repair the shotgun too,

(´⊙ω⊙`)

that's pretty good

所以我們有新的槍嗎

I don't know why we need to do that

我們沒有新的槍

Can I shoot it from here I don't fucking trust this.

"相對有威力"

No it was pretty fucking obvious

好喔 真他媽的好

Hey bro how you doin, you look pretty good

看起來如何啊

Alright, so what else we got? Huh?

看起來很酷喔

Nothin? ETHAN BRADBERRY!

[女]Pewds 你應該升級你的散彈槍的

BOX!!

靠夭啊

My new favourite catchphrase, everyone.

你為什麼不早點跟我說

BOX!

喝啊！

Ugh, god damnit

喔天 是陷阱嗎

BOX!

我的天....

Oh, for fuck's sake!

是！

What, s-so the boxes have explos- Awh for f-

箱！！！子！！！(,,ﾟДﾟ)

What's over here?

手槍子彈

Nothin. Great.

如果我們真的要去下面呢

Ooh! GOTEM!

嘿~~

Shut the fuck up.

(ﾉ>ω

Why is this here?

嘿嘿~~~

What the fuck? It doesn't make a-

(ﾉ>ω

I don't need this many guns

我根本沒朋友

Right?

這位置放的很精妙 朋友

I don- I don't know man.

放的精妙

There we go.

雖然看起來還是有點隨便

Actually I don't need to hold the repair kit either

不過還是放的好

Fuck saake

喔 新世界！

We'll go get the broken shotgun later

我感受到不對勁

This is a perfect timing.

HI 鐵桶 你好嗎 看起來滿不錯的喔

What.

我可以鑽下面嗎

How am I supposed to know

乾 好像感冒了

T-Hahahahaha!

等等！這裡好像有藏東西

Okay, sure.

我認得這個地方

Aghh!

什麼！

What did he say? 0, 1, 5

(ﾟ∀。)

I have a bad feeling about this.

什麼~~！(ﾟ∀。)

What the fuck did you do?

什麼~~~！！(ﾟ∀。)

WOAH!

喔喔喔喔 這裡有陷阱

Jesus!

在那個他媽的天花板

For fuck's sake!

總之我們現在可以修散彈槍了

???

雖然不知道為什麼要修

Ughh!

我可以直接從這開槍嗎

Wait

我完全不相信這些東西

Haha!

[ 廣播器 ] WOW 你的眼力不錯嘛

Great, just great.

因為他媽超明顯啊

Just fucking fantastic.

嘿老兄 你好嗎 看起來不錯喔

I don't fucking trust boxes anymore

好吧 還有什麼東西嗎

You were my only friend

沒有

You were supposed to be THE CHOSEN ONE!

伊森@#$%哩

There you go.

箱！！！子！！！(゜皿。)

Fucking great.

這是最近喜歡上的新標語 各位

Should I just shoot them from now on?

箱！！！子！！！(゜皿。)

I don't

靠夭

I don't know man.

箱！子！(゜A。)

Heey, look at that, shotgun.

所有每個箱子都會爆...？

Heh!

這裡有啥

Burner fuel? I don't need it, great.

沒有

This corridor,

好吧

It's way too fucking set up.

(ooop)

Anytime you got a long ass fucking corridor

中囉

There's a trap there isn't it, yeah I see it.

B嘴

It's right fucking here.

[ 廣播器 ] 他們會去找你喔

Gotem!

為啥這裡有箱子

JESUS CHRIST!

這沒道...

Oh god

我不需要這麼多槍

WATCH OUT FOR THE TRAP YOU MOTHERFUCKER!

我不...我不知道

Jeesus!

不過我好像也不需要修理工具包

You almost got hurt!

我們晚點再去找壞掉的散彈槍

Fuckin asshole!

現在是好時機

Helloo?

蛤？

Life's handing you lemons, so make lemonade then.

我現在要幹啥

Oh god, oh god, moist monsters.

我知道 密嗎是吧

What the fuck?

他剛剛說啥...(⁰∀⁰)

Oh my god, baby

感覺就不太對

I missed

他在衝啥小

Oh god, reload reload RELOAD

(((ﾟДﾟ;)))

Gotem!

天啊(((ﾟДﾟ;)))

GAADEM

天殺的！

I can't fuckin see!

拜託我根本...

Jesus Chriist!

啊.......

Are they still aft- Ughh come on dude

咦？Σ( ° △ °)

Just fuckin die!

真的太神奇了

You fucking pancake looking motherfucker, I'm just gonna go.

我再也不相信這些箱子了

Not gonna waste my fuckin ammo

你是我唯一的朋友 安尼肯

Alright, this place looks wonderful doesn't it

你是我萬中選一的那個人！！

Jesus Christ.

我之後是都要用手槍確認嗎

I'm so sick of the fucking trap

我不知道

I swear to god if you're a trap box

嘿 看這個 散彈槍

Can't even trust a good ol' box these days

燃油 我不需要

Is this- Is this guy for real

這條走廊...

Can you just fuck off?

一定是設計好的

HOW?

每次你走到這種長廊

Fucking die mother, fucker!

一定有陷阱

Jesus Christ!

我看到了

No more traps, I'm fucking done with traps!

在這裡

Hey piggy how ya doin'

來囉

Heey, how's it going it's Poodip- Haa!

給我注意一下陷阱啊 白癡(怒)

BOX!

你差點碰到你知道嗎(╬ﾟдﾟ)

Ughh.

這個魂淡

This looks like a- aw why do I ne- Okay nice.

哈囉？

This looks like a boss area doesn't it?

隨遇而安吧

It's too wide and open.

喔不 喔不 是那個噁爛的怪物

Great

杯比！

Ano- OH it's a hub here!

等等 裝子彈！裝子彈！

SAVE STATION, Gotta love ma save station!

中囉

Alright, now we can head off in the world.

@#$%中囉

Have a good time, ya know.

看不到啊啊啊

See what happens.

死好吧

See what floats

他還在我後面...

Is that a trap?

我不理你了 我要先閃了

I swear to god no more fucking traps.

我才不想浪費子彈

Did I just take damage from jumpin down there?

這地方真不錯

God damnit.

我受夠這些鳥陷阱了

Alright, what do we got?

我發誓你如果是陷阱我就...

You know what

至少今天 可以讓我相信這些箱子嗎

Pop some pills.

這些傢伙來真的嗎

Poppin dem pills

你可以滾嗎

I don't trus-

我要跟這些陷阱說再見了

Shotgun shells.

嘿小豬 你好嗎

You trade one handgun ammo for one shot- oh yeah it's worth it.

[ 小豬 ] 你好嗎PEWDS

Alright, so we're missing a battery

箱！！！子！！！(゜皿。)

Cool.

啊...

Thanks game for telling me, appreciate it

這邊感覺會出BOSS

There's really nothing else here it seems like.

這邊太寬闊了

Except broken dreams.

喔 是存檔點！

Oh there it is okay.

(唱歌)

I swear to god if you're a broken- yeah fuck you.

現在我們可以繼續前進了

And fuck you pig honestly, like

來看看會發生什麼事吧

I swear to god, I swear to god, box.

這個漂浮

AHH!!

這是陷阱嗎 我警告你不要再來陷阱了

Some people pointed out that during your playthrough

我剛剛掉下來是不是損血了

while you're playing the game

靠

uhh

現在要幹啥呢

You didn't get a scar on your arm

來射幾發吧

or some shit like that

我不相信你

You see, I have a scar on my arm

散彈槍子彈

I don't know it's pretty interesting I guess.

用一發換一盒子彈 值得的

Well, we got the battery now.

我們少一顆電池

I don't..

謝謝你告訴我

That's the gun

這裡好像沒有其他東西了

I'm getting really fucking tired of these fucking traps, man.

除了粉碎的夢想

Noo!

我發誓你如果是....好吧 發科U

NOOOOOO!

還有你 這隻豬

NOO!

我警告你 我警告你喔...

Fuck this!

(ಠ_ಠ) x N

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!

ヽ(`Д´)ノ

Oh my god, it's Jacksepticeye!

現在我們有電池了

AHH!

(碰)

NOO!

我真的快受夠這些狗屎陷阱了

NOOOO!

這啥小啦！

Fucking bullshit.

喔不 是Jacksepticeye

Aw yeah, aw yeah, bring it on motherfucker!

喔YA喔YA 帶他出來啊

Bring it on now fuc-

再一發

Jesus Cried (Christ)

為什麼你還活著

Another one!

快給我死啊(╬ﾟдﾟ)

How are you still alive??

噁心死啦 你超噁的啦

Are you fucking kidding me!

肥宅倒了

Are you fucking kidding me?!

看來還有很多

JUST FUCKING DIE!

喔謝啦

Disgusting! You're disgusting!

上樓囉

Oh my god, just sta-

這種感覺就像是...

YES!

你已經在別人的圈套裡了 所以不管你怎麼做你都一定輸

Ugh!

怎麼不開門呢

Fat man down, everybady

怎麼了嗎

Ahh fuck.

喔...原來

That means there's more?

別太超過喔

Oh, ah thank you

所以 你們今天過得如何啊

Just took all my grenade launcher rounds.

還不錯嗎

All of em.

喔 是你耶

And up we go!

不知道我靠過去你會不會突然嚇我

No? Okay. Heheh

沒別的意思 我沒有覺得你是殭屍 不要搞錯了

It's the kind of thing where like you know, eeeeh

其實我不清楚啦(笑)

It doesn't matter what we do, we're always gonna lose cause we were set up...

嘿你好嗎 "你是下一個"

...by this motherfucker

謝...謝謝你這麼好心喔

But I dunno man

應該是按這個

C'mon, what is happening?

這次這個Part不怎麼恐怖 只是他媽很煩躁而已

Oh!

我們拿到密碼了嗎？

Well that's embarrassing.

我好像還沒拿到 先回去看一下

Not doing too shabby, I would say.

一定是在這裡

So, how-how are you doing today then?

這就是為什麼箱子會設在這的原因了

Yeah?

因為我們會回到這個地方

Doin alright?

好吧 看來我已經把子彈用光了

Havin a good day?

沒辦法再用了 就換成火焰噴射器好了

Havin a good time?

YA 我們做到了

Oh look, it's you!

[ 對講機 ]不 朋友 這是測試你的技巧 不可以作弊！

That would be weird if I walked in on you pla-

[ 對講機 ]把你那些危險的東西放下

that would be some meta shit

這才是這箱子存在的真正原因

N-no offense

我真的要撤下嗎

I don't think you look like a zombie.

[ 對講機 ]你還帶著危險的東西 快去拿掉

Don't get me wrong.

拿掉全部武器的話應該...

Al-although I don't know? Haha.

他怎麼知道的

Hey how ya doin bud- you're next.

還真的要"全部"拿掉

Well

欸 等等...

Well, thank you kindly!

謝謝 你怎麼知道我的生日