Family friendly f..(jibberish)

家庭友善F......(戳) 抱歉

sorry I didn't think

家庭友善Felix！

Family friendly Felix!

歡迎！

Welcome!

歡迎各位！拍起手來！(掌聲)

Welcome, everyone! Clap it up! (applause)

每個人都拍起手來！

Clap it up, everybody!

這裡是家庭友善Felix✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧

Family friendly Felix here!

我不知道該如何讓掌聲停下

And I'm just!- I don't know how to make it stop.. (applause stops)

嗯

Um..

我沒有收任何錢

I'm not making any money.

就像你也許知道的那樣，這裡有個啟示錄(預言)正在成真

As you may not know, there's an adpocalypse going on right now.

Youtube上已經沒有廣告了

There's no ads on Youtube.

沒廣告了，對

No ads. Okay?

他們全沒了，他們全撤掉了

They're all gone, they all pulled out.

因為顯然的，有個廣告被放在種族主義的影片上

Because apparently, there was... uh ads on a racist video.

接著所有廣告商都表示 "嘔！我退出。"

So everyone was like, "UH I'm out."

沒錯

Aright.

這裡，這裡有......Youtube上有90億部影片

There's, there's what? 9 billion videos on Youtube?

「啊！那部片說他是種族主義者！」

AH, that one that said racist on it!

「不行！」

Nope!

「我退出！」

I'm out!

「90億分之1的種族主義者」

1 out of 9 billion

「去你的！」

Fuck you!

如果你在這部影片看到任何一個廣告.....

If you see an ad on this video...

你該像讚美他媽的陽光一樣讚美這個狗屎爛蛋

You praise that shit, like the fucking sun.

好嗎？

Okay?

\感恩廣告，讚嘆廣告！/

Praise that shit, boi

我想要你吸這......這是家庭友善Felix

I want you to suck that.... FAMILY FRIENDLY FELIX HERE

提醒你一下

by the way...

我想要你去

I want you to

輕柔的……美妙的……

gently...make sweet ....*blanks*

家庭友善……

Family friendly ...

呃嗯

uhm

( ° ▽°)

*laughs nervously*

我需要知道這天殺的音板要怎麼用

need to learn how to use this fuckin sound board

好，來看一下這邊

Alright so lets have a look here and see what

看看上部影片我賺了多少

did my last video make

廣告收入

on ads.

100塊？（約台幣3400）

a hundred dollars?!

*砰*

*gun shot*

這很諷刺，我在Youtube上賺的紅利更多

the irony here is that i made more on youtube red revenue

所以來看看我的新節目

So! check out my new show...uh..

噢等等，幹

oh wait, fuck

新節目也被撤掉了

uh...they fucked that up too

新的出路也搞壞了

the news outlet that broke

這事是有關

this story about

呃......「種族主義的影片」

uh....the racist video

寫這個報導的人別無其他，就是YouTube的敵人：

was none other...the enemy of YouTube

華爾街日報。我沒在開玩笑

*laughs*

他們又來了

The wall street journal.. I'm not kidding

還記得我...我

they're back at it again

做的那件事嗎？*啾*

remember when I... I

你他媽再試試看啊

did the whole *fuck you finger*

”你他媽再試試看啊”

try again mother fuckers

你不該真的再試試看！

(try again mother fuckers)

你有事嗎ヽ(#`Д´)ﾉ

you weren't supposed to actually do it

你他媽

WHAT THE HELL MAN

幹

GODDAMNIT!

去你的YOUTUBE RED，我放棄了

FUCK

好嗎？我只是......別驚慌

FUCKING YOUTUBE RED. I'm fucked.

我確定沒有其他人會覺得驚恐

oka ...im just..dont panic

"我宣布要對華爾街日報發起戰爭！"

I'm sure no one else is panicking

好吧也許大家都有點驚慌

"I declare war on the Wall Street Journal'

只有一點點……只有一點點

OKAY maybe people are panicking

沒關係，絕望的時刻就是要採取必要的手段

just a little bit.....just a LITTLE bit

就是「家庭友善Felix」計畫！

thats fine... desperate times call... comes desperate measurements

我有個

and FAMILY FRIENDLY FELIX got a plan

我有個計畫

boi

來看看我們當初是怎麼做的

I got a..

七年前那美好的Youtube是怎麼成立的？

I've got a... I've got a plan

*播放10年前的影片* 這才是我們該做的影片

how did we do it back in the day?

對吧？

ok?

這影片...

HOW did they do it back in the good ol' day of youtube 7 years ago?

好十倍！

*shows a video from 10 years ago* THIS is the content we need to go back to

"查理咬了我"

ok?

這是天才，聰明絕頂

this is..

它有快十億的瀏覽數

10 TIMES BETTER

*敲*我的音板不......

"charlie bit me"

*Jacksepticeye的開場白* 噢噢噢

its genius...its brilliant

《當個創世神》是從我開始做Youtube時就一直避免去玩的遊戲

its...almost a billion views.

《當個創世神》

*knocking* my sound board's not..

這天殺的世上最讚的遊戲

*JACK SPEDICY'S INTRO* OHHHHH...

《當個創世神》

MINECRAFT. The game i have been avoiding since i started youtube

這就是人們所要的

MINECRAFT

《當個創世神》

the BEST game in the goddamn world

更多《當個創世神》，我們需要更多《當個創世神》

MINECRAFT

我終於要去玩《當個創世神》了

THATS what people want.

我不知多少年沒玩了

MINECRAFT

我不願玩它但......*猛然一看*

more MINECRAFT. we need more MINECRAFT

18歐？（約台幣585）

FINALLY i am going to play minecraft

我買不起...

i haven't played it..in i dont know how many years

我很幸運的生於瑞典，我有個秘密…秘密…呃秘密計畫

i refuse to play it but here..... *look intensifies*

就是這個.-.

£18?

別，等等…這個不支援windows

i cant afford that ._.

噢這有支援

LUCKILY im swedish...and i have a secret..secret...uh...secret plan

有欸好

for this .-.

酷._.

doesn't wait...doesn't windows come with..

嘿這好便宜

OH it does

噢幹這有免費試用

it does okay...

*輸入你的微軟帳號*

cool ._.

我沒有微軟帳號ヽ(#`Д´)ﾉ

HEY ITS CHEAPER

要家庭友善好難；；

oh fuck that...free trial

好...噢幹，好的

" Add your microsoft.."

toms...tom的指南，嗯

I DONT HAVE A MICROSOFT ACCOUNT

這就是我要的

its THIS hard to be family friendly

耶

ok...aw fuck, ok

我放棄了！我放棄了

toms....toms guide. YES

我以後要活在《當個創世神》的世界裡！

this is what i wanted

哈囉羊，你會是我的新朋友

YESSS

其他玩《當個創世神》的人都會裝怪聲幫動物配音

I QUIT. I QUIT

像是「哈囉我是羊，哈！我是梗圖素材」

im now living in the minecraft world

你在-

HELLO SHEEP you'll be my new friend

羊你在那邊蓋了什麼？

they do roleplaying when they play minecraft so they do like funny voices

「我不知道」

"hellooo i am sheep. HA! le memes"

看看我的傑作

there wa-

我超讚的傑作

sheep what did you build over there?

搞什麼

"i dont know"

你這天殺的羊

See im really good at this..

走著瞧

im REALLY good at this

兔崽子你會有報應的

AWH hell AWH...

我打敗了你這個小賤貨

GODDAMNIT SHEEP

去死吧

you gone get it

去死吧小王八

you gone get it....you gone get it boy

我不後悔

i beat the shit out of you

*走馬燈*

fuck piece of shit

大家每天都在玩這遊戲？

fuck piece of...goddamnit

好吧

NO REGRATS

我需要蓋個家才能在新的《當個創世神》世界中存活

*dab to the sad music*

以後就要住這了

*switches to minecraft music*

好的.....他媽的

people play this game everyday?

一定要蓋得超他媽炫砲，各位

alright then

我是說超酷，超豪華(改口)

*breaking grass blocks*

也要知道這裡禁止

i guess if im gonna live in the new minecraft world i need to build a house

「禁止利用此平台提供之服務把 『利用網路與他人交流』視為主要目的」

this is where i live now

好嗎？

ok

不是那種的

alright...goddamnit

你知道我真心喜歡遊戲到 甚至讓我在想自己可能有自閉症嗎？

its gonna be...pretty fucking cool guys

我在蓋一面牆

i mean...pretty cool...pretty SWELL (that save tho)

我在蓋一面牆

and also just know that there is not

如果川普不做...

a platform and services related to virtual communities in which members interact primarily on the internet

家庭友善Felix來做

okay?

好嗎？我們要蓋堵牆

this is NOT that

你知道「家庭友善」的概念嗎

you know im actually enjoying the game which makes me think maybe i have autism after all?

人類不能一昧回顧過去好嗎

im building a wall!

這也是為何人們喜歡Youtube的原因

im building a wall..

因為

if trumps not gonna do it

它免費而且開放

Family friendly felix is gonna do it

你可以隨心所欲，暢所欲言

alright we're gonna build a wall

它不像電視一樣，一切的背後都有製片管理人

you know that concept with family friendliness?

他們會限制你「不，你不能那樣講」

people aren't just gonna go back on it okay?

「因為我們有另外的考量」

the reason why people love youtube

「不，你不能講那個」*鬼叫*

is because...

看來Youtube

it's free and it's open

在這點上被迫轉變為電視節目了

and you can say whatever you want

這對所有人都不好

it's not like television where everything is behind executive producers

你想要Youtube這平台繼續免費

and people telling "no you cant say that!"

我會希望Youtube這平台繼續免費

because then we'll do this

我知道廣告刊登的地方是需要評估的

and "no you cant say that" sadjhasdjl

他們付錢刊登，但不會刊登在種族主義的影片上

it seems like youtube..

我100%完全瞭解

is forced to turning into television at this point

比如...這件事很糟，如果我花了錢(買廣告)

thats gonna be bad for everyone

結果看到我的廣告被放在種族主義的影片上， 我會覺得*這三小*

you want youtube to continue being a free platform

但這整件事實在太過誇大了

i would want youtube to be...a free platform

這是很典型的例子

i understand that advertises need to feel like

這些事在媒體上被放大，超出我們原本應有的反應

they're spending money and it's not showing up on racist videos

這裡就有個最佳範例，就像是

i understand that 100%

他們去整個(Youtube)平台裡挖了五個影片

like..thats a terrible thing, if i was spending money

Youtube上有90億部影片

and i saw my ads showing up on racist videos i would be like *wtf*

人們只因其中5部就開始焦慮

but the whole thing is just so..massivly overblown

我同意那些影片會造成一些問題

it's so typical

但它...呃

for these things to just get way bigger then they should be, in the media

難道平台上每個人都應該

talking first hand here. It's...its like what?

被五個種族主義影片影響嗎？

5 videos they discovered...i...based on the whole platform?

噢

there's like what? 9 billion videos on youtube

至少我是真的沒辦法理解

and..and people are worried about five

我確定、我希望Youtube會對此有所反彈

I agree its.. like its still a problem

我會祈禱的

but is it...ugh

為了每個

should everyone on the platform be

經營小頻道的人

affected by 5 racist dudes?

他們現在只能忍耐了

EGH

呃因為

that just doesn't really make sense to me..at least

我也曾把Youtube收入看很重

im sure youtube will b-bounce back and i hope..

我非常仰賴在這裡賺的下一份收入

I PRAY

我沒有任何基礎，才剛開始經營頻道的時候

for everyone

我需要在Youtube上賺的月薪，所以

thats a smaller channel

這個月，很可能會有大量的創作者沒有收入

that they can hang in there for now

這是場奇怪的抗爭

uhhh.... because

只有一點怪啦

i used to be at a point on youtube

我想另外做「頻道宣傳活動」，我以前也做過一組

where i was so dependent on my next paycheck

所以若你對宣傳活動有興趣的話

i didnt have anything set up. i had just started off

呃......之前也，之前也有完成過

and i-i needed that monthly paycheck so...

而且做得很好

this month, most likely a lot of creators are not gonna get paid

去點描述欄的連結

so its weird to combat that

那邊有具體規則，我衷心感謝你仔細的閱讀

just a lil bit

你要確保自己的投稿快速且簡潔

uh...i wanted to do another shout out competition. ive done a couple in the past.

並且持續追蹤

so if you're interested in getting a shoutout

寫太長的話我會沒時間看

uhhh...they been...they've been successful

而且也只能草草看過，沒有要自滿的意思

and pretty good so.

但我...我沒差

check out the link in the description

我不會只因為沒(廣告)收入就停止製作影片

there's specific rules and i really appreciate that you go by them

字面上意思

uh, make sure that you are quick and concise

我做影片是因為我愛做

with.. following them

所以說

if theres too much text im not going to have time to read it

如果你看到一個廣告

and im just going to have to skip it. no smugness intended

噢噢噢噢ヽ( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ﾉ

but im...but im fine

♫感恩讚嘆感恩陽光♫

like...im not going to stop making videos just because im not making money

另外呃

i...i meant it when i said

我現在要去Twitch了

i-i do it because i love it...and

這件事我早就決定了，好嗎？

THAT BENG SAID

在很多事發生前就決定了，所以別解讀成錯誤的方向

IF YOU SEE AN AD

但我之前就有想開始在Twitch上實況遊戲了

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

所以我們會每週實況一次

♫ Praise, Praise, Praise the sun ♫

從週日開始在Twitch實況

also uhm

我的意思是從這週日開始

going to twitch now...pft *laughs*

所以在「youtube.com/netglow」

i decided this before. okay?

「netglow」是我想創的品牌

before anything, so don't read-ed it the wrong way

雖然我也想用「revelmode」

but i-i wanted to start doing streams on twitch

但沒人喜歡那個名字

so uh...we are gonna do a weekly stream

確認......我是說netglow

over at twitch, its starts... SUNDAY

意味著「比起現實在網路上更酷的人」

this sunday i mean...

我想這是個非常他媽的完美的名字

so uhm over at youtube.com/netglow

所以之後會

netglow is the brand that i wanted to create

每週實況一次

thaaahht i wanted revelmode to be

可能會增加次數，我真的想做一些

but no one liked the name

像我們在Revelmode做的cringemas節目那種， 因為超好玩

check the...i mean netglow

所以一定要來看看喔

it means cooler on the internet then in person

來展現你對我們的支持ヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ

i think thats a pretty fucking perfect name

嗯.....\感恩/ 你知道

so its going to be...

嗯之類的

a streaming show once a week

potentially more... i really want it to be something

AHHHHH sort of like we did with revel mode or like we did with cringemas cause that was so much fun

uh so definitely be sure to check that out

come show your support

uh...PRAISE..ya know

and all that stuff-

*dat face