AGH

嘿~最近好嗎

Hey hows it going BRAS?

BRAS！！！

What the ffuuck is good

他媽的怎麼可能好

what the ffffFUCK (that voice crack) is good

歡迎回到惡靈古堡

*Shoot himself*

我們快達成了

*finally kills himself*

沒錯

Welcome back to Resident Evil

我們快達成了

We're getting there

男孩們

That's right, we're getting there boys...

還有女孩們

And girls

我可不想歧視我的女性觀眾

I don't wanna discriminate my female audience

現在

Now

也許..

Apparently ...

阿..你知道

Ahh you know what, fuck it let's just go

去他的 我們走吧

Okay what do we got here?

ok 我們在這發現了甚麼

Uhh.. we need the crank, for fucks sake

喔..我們需要湊齊它

So.. i read the comments.. and..uh..

天殺的

appreciate the spoilers by the way that's very nice

所以..我看了留言

There we go..

感謝那些爆雷者 那蠻不錯的

apparently there's gonna be a choice soon..

這就對了

between.. uhm..

明顯地

if i should choose Mia or Zoe

這會有個選擇題

Uh... I would pick Zoe, y'know

介於..

100%

如果我選擇解救Mia

Cuz Mia she's just a crazy fucking bitch

或是Zoe

Like I would not stick my dick in that (*-*)

嗯 我會選擇Zoe

She's... she lost it, alright

你知道

What kind of weird disease would you get

無庸置疑的

I don't know

因為Mia她只是個瘋狂婊子

Is that weird for me to comment about these things?

我絕不把我的屌放進去

I think it is a little weird (O_o)*Maybe*

是她錯失的 好嗎

Im just being painfully uh.. uh honest okay

那種奇怪的疾病你會得到？

Zoe however..

我不清楚

y'know

我討論這些話題是不是很詭異? 我想是蠻奇怪的

We haven't seen her be fucking weird and shit

我只是痛苦的 呃 很誠實的

actually she, ah for fuck's sake another one of these? .-.

而Zoe無論如何..

where do I go then?

你知道的

there better not be any fucking crocodiles and shi-

我們還沒看過她變成那些詭異的東西

there's another bridge here, okay

事實上她...喔！又一個他們的一員？

it's a puzzle, ain't it?

我該走那裡？

INNIT (ಠ⌣ಠ)

這裡最好是不會有任何它媽的鱷魚或任何鬼東西

I can't stop saying innit it now

這是又一座橋 好吧

because of that fucking video I did with Ken

這裡有個難題是吧

Here we go

是不是啊？？？？？？？

We're gonna have a gun fucking ready

我停不下來說出這句

You never know what's gonna pop up in this game

都是因為我和Ken拍了那影片

Got my one ammo gun.

我們走

AYE!!!!!

我們先拿好槍準備好

(Laughs crazily)

在這遊戲你永遠不知道有什麼會跳出來

BOX! (ಠ⌣ಠ)

拿好我的彈藥槍

Hell yes!

嘿~~~~

Speaking of low on ammo

Boxxxxxxxxxxx！

We can change ammo

好耶

And now we have a lot more-

對彈藥小聲的說嗨

(gasps)

我們可以填補彈藥

BOX! (ಠ⌣ಠ)

現在我們有更多的..（箱子！！)

Hell yeah motherfucka!

Boxxxxx！！！

Alright doing pretty well so far.

好耶 婊子養的

What do you think?

好的

You know I can't hear you if you don't fucking speak

目前為止做得不錯，你覺得呢？

Jesus Christ

你知道我聽不到你

(Laughs excitedly)

你他媽的不用說話

Ah shit!

老天爺呀

BOX! (ಥ⌣ಥ)

阿 靠

Atleast they don't fucking explode this time.

Box~

I need this fucking crank all the time.

至少你這次不會他媽的爆炸

It making me cranky.

我需要花時間在轉動這曲柄上

And there we go everybody

這讓我很惱怒

Top of da mornin' to ya

讓我們繼續 大伙們

AH! Helvete!

top of da mornin'to ya 早安（愛爾蘭俗語）

I hate these fuckers!

阿！！Helvete 媽的（瑞典文）

JACKsepticeye

我恨這些爛東西

Got'em

Jacksepticeye （youtuber）

Oh god he's not dead.

打死它了

There ya go.

天啊 它還沒死

Nice little spazzy you did there.

這就死了

Fuck

不錯的小計倆

No more of these fuckers I swear to god.

靠

Okay, great, alright, alright I just-

不要再有這些鬼東西了

Take your time pewds you've got plenty of time

我向天發誓

Oh god

好吧 棒極了

Oh god

把握你的時間pewd

Uh, running low on time

你有大把的時間

Don't panic.

噢天 噢天

Don't- I'm panicking a little bit

時間不多了

Jesus Christ, everyone calm down

別恐慌

everyone calm down

呃 我有一點慌了

What, I blocked?

天殺的

What the fuck?

所有人冷靜

Fuuck

所有人冷靜

Guys go gentle on me it's my first time.

什麼?! 我有擋住欸

Shotgun really fucking takes care of those assholes, don't they?

搞屁阿

Oh god he's still alive-he's still alive

靠北

AH!!

嘿 對我紳士點 這是我的第一次

Helvete!

散彈真的很好處理這些混蛋不是嗎？

AAHH!!

喔天啊 它還是活著

GOT'EM!

Helvete 媽的（瑞典文）

Great, that went great didn't it? That went so great.

成功了

Let's never do that again.

太棒了

Ever.

那太棒了

Fucking ever.

不是嗎？

How's my ammo?

那真的是太棒了

Got plenty of ammo, got so much ammo

讓我們不再做那一次

Oh fuck I hear another one

永遠

FUCK

他媽的永遠

I've run out of ammo like a motherfucker

我的彈藥還有多少？

I'm just gonna run for it, this is bullshit

我拿到很多彈藥

let me through, let me through, lemme through, thank you

我聽到另外一隻了

Bitches, you ain't worth it

我像個婊子養的用光所有子彈了

Alright?

我最好快跑

Plus I have no ammo, so I have to--

這真是狗屁

AAHHH!!!!

讓我過去

FUCK!

讓我過去

NO, don't die now

謝謝

Are you fucking kidding me?

婊子　你不值得的

hey how you doing?

好嗎？

How you doing?

因為我沒彈藥了　所以我必須。。

How you doing?

幹

That's great.

別現在死

Close that fucking door.

你在跟我開完笑？

Thank you, jesus fucking christ

嘿 你怎麼樣？

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

你怎麼樣？

Minecraft is a- (inaudible)

你怎麼樣？

Oh my god.

那真棒

Save sta-sta

關上那該死的門

Dee dee dee dee dee *Mental breakdown*

謝謝

Not sure if I was supposed to run there, but we did it

天殺的

That was pretty fucking stressful, jesus.

真的是天殺的

Ge- ge- jack-

Minecraft是個^$&#t%

Aye! look at that

老天啊

Thank you game for finally giving me fucking shit!

存檔~

Can't make anything. Great.

(~~~)

Well I have solid fuel I know I have it.

不確定那是正確的通關

BAOOX!! ಠ_ರೃ

但我們做到了

The shotgun is the fucking best in this game

玩這個真的很有壓力 天啊

I swear to god

嘿 你看看

Do we have everything we need?

謝謝遊戲 終於給我該死的東西

And, here we go.

沒辦法製作任何東西

How's everyone doin'?

好極了

Top of da moasrs *Nice english*

我有固體燃料我知道的

New area.

BOXXXXXXXXXXXX

Oh my god!

散彈槍是這遊戲裡最棒的，我對天發誓

It's the girls!

我們湊齊所有需要的東西沒

How ya doin' ladies?

讓我們繼續

Zoe! Are you okay?

大家現在如何？

You look like you're about to shit yourself girl

新的地方

I mean Mia, how ya doin?

OMG！！是女孩們

heh, heh, heh

妳怎麼樣 女士？

okay, don't do any crazy shit.

Zoe！妳還好嗎？

I'm tired of you doing crazy shit, alright?

Ethan：Zoe？Zoe..我..

It's fucking annoying.

Zoe：不是現在，我們快沒有時間了

Don't make me regret this, Mia.

Zoe：你拿到那兩樣原料沒

Momma Mia, pizzeria. Am I right?

妳看起來大便在自己身上

Go-

我意思是 Mia！妳好嗎？hahaha

YES!

ok 別做任何瘋狂的鬼事

Wait, is that not mine?

我受夠了妳做的鬼事

Can I not grab that?

那他媽的煩死了

Aw, come on man.

別逼我做出會後悔的事，Mia

Alright what do you-

Ma Ma Mia

And give me the--do this and do that. Jesus christ

比薩店（？）

How bout' a "hey, thanks for saving my life out there."

我說得對嗎?

Going through demons and shit.

耶

How bout' that?

等等　那是我的嗎?

"Gimi thi sirim simpli" Fucking bitch...

我不能拿走嗎？

Alright we got that.

拜託 老兄

And then we got that, alright.

好啦 妳想要...

There ya go.

Zoe：快點，給我製作血清的原料

I don't think we have the rest.

給我去做這個做那個

Do we have to go back all the way?

真靠北

Naaah

為什麼不是

That'd be annoying.

嘿 謝謝你救了我

Huh- Give me the serum ingredients

通過魔鬼或那些狗屎東西的

There you go, have fun with this

那樣如何

Alright, I wanna see how you make this.

給我那該死的東西

What the fuck are you doing down there?

你他媽的婊子

(Laughs)

好的 我們有這個

Yeah...

然後我們也有...

The fuck did you just do?

這就行了

You fucking weird little drug girl, okay?

我想我們要回去

You know what?

所以我們要走回原本那條路？

One of those is mine

不～

Oh, Whoah!

那會很煩

Whoah, whoah what the-

Zoe：快點，給我製作血清的原料

Uh

呃 給我製作血清的原料

The legend of Zelda called they want their boss back, what the fuck?

Ethan：這裡，這些應該足夠 對吧？

What the fuck are we in the cocora tree? What the hell is this?

Zoe：如果我們製作得快一點，我爸爸和Lucas沒有走很遠

What the f-

Mia : 他來了，老爸來了

What the fuck is this

Pewd：給你吧 和他們玩得快樂 Zoe：很好，這些足夠製作兩份

Well that went pretty good, didn't it?

好的 我來要看看妳怎麼做血清的

That went pretty great

你他媽的在那搞什麼東西

Okay, we got one.

Ehtan：嗯，血清製作好後的下一步？

I guess we got to get all of them.

Zoe：有艘氣艇在外面，我們會坐它通過沼澤

Fucks Sake

Zoe：但沒有血清我們誰也走不遠

(Pewds runs out of things to say, Helvete maybe)

你他媽的剛剛做了什麼

Got em'

你這他媽的詭異毒蟲

GOT EM'

你知道嗎

Come on. show me your eye.

Zoe：嘿 其中一個是我的

Got em'

其中一個是窩的

Ah shit, he follows me.

三小啊

So you got to shoot the pulsing eyes.

Jack：Zoe！給我滾回屋子裡，我晚點在算清妳的帳

Nice. You hold still.

你從薩爾達傳說跑出來的...蛋蛋？

Uh... There was a box up here, I swear. I saw a box.

三小啊

Are you dead yet!?

搞什麼 它是可可樹嗎？

Oh, there's a box.

這他媽的是三小

Ah fuck.

Jack：你奪走我女兒已經夠糟了

There's the eye, isn't it.

這到底是三小

Come on, show me your ball.

Jack：你逃不出這裡的

I appreciate the invite, but I'm not interested.

睪丸：你將會祈求一死

I'm really not.

那真的不錯 不是嗎

It's cool. Hey! Hey!

ok 我們擊中一個

Ah, ugh... Fuck you man.

我猜我們要擊中全部 天殺的

BOX!

擊中了

There we go.

打中了

Now where were we?

來吧 秀給我 你的眼睛

I need to shoot like... Oh god.

擊中了

Got em'

靠北 它一直跟著我

I think he had just one left.

所以你必須射中那雙眼

I don't know where it is though.

做得好

Where the fuck is his eye?

呃 有個箱子在這某個地方 我保證 我看到了

Ah jeez. ah, this is bad.

你死了嗎？？？

I'm not scared. *Nervously laughs*

那有個箱子

You look so sexy.

有個眼睛在那

I've done this before when I was fourteen alright.

來吧 秀出你的蛋蛋

I think I know how to beat this boss.

Jack：你是家族的一員了

No!

我感謝你的邀請 但我沒有興趣

Stop moving so fucking much!

我真的不

No fucking way I'm out of ammo right now. Shit.

我們進行到哪了

YES!

我必須射那

Got em'!

打中了

Is there anymore eyes!?

我猜他還剩一顆

Enough with the fucking eyes!

我不知道在那裡

Oh, there is one isn't it.

它媽的眼睛在那

Nope. Alright. I'm going to get out of here. Because I don't like him.

這糟透了

*Monster Cries*

Jack：別害怕

Ah, fuck.

我才不怕　呵呵呵

Ah, this is bad. ah blip.

你看起來超性感

Uh... don't mind me.

我在我14歲時就做過這種事了 好嗎

Okay, great.

我想我知道怎麼擊敗這boss了

Good for you.

別一直亂動

Good for you buddy.

真沒別的辦法

Show me that pretty eye again.

我沒有散彈的彈藥了

Okay, that's great.

打中了

Please be dead.

還有其他的眼睛嗎

Please be dead.

受夠了那狗屁眼睛

I'm really low on ammo. It would be great if you died now.

那是不是有一個？

Thank you.

我要離開這裡

Appreciate it.

靠北

Hey. We did it.

別介意我

Get it. Because of the eyes.

呃 不錯

Hilarious.

不錯的一擊 不錯的一擊 老兄

I haven't been to Japan though.

再秀出那美麗的眼睛

Hey, it's Zoe.

Jack：你最好祈望自己擁有一個良好的葬身之地

*M Night Shyamalan plot twist*

ok 那棒極了

Are you kidding me.

給我看

Are you fucking kidding me!?

拜託快死

How are you not dead?

拜託快死

No, I'm not wasting it.

我彈藥真的快用完了

That's real nice.

我很高興你現在終於要死了

Ha Hey.

感謝你

Oh no, now we only have one serum.

嘿~我們做到了

Yes

Ethan：現在我見識了所有事物

Umm, this is going to be awkward. So, you're right, now we only have one.

懂那梗嗎？因為那堆眼睛

Fuck

真滑稽

Also, ah damn, there was a box and.

我沒有去過日本

Yeaaaahhh! Aha.

可是我見識過日本了(?

Yeah. Ahaha. BOX! *Fails miserably*

嘿~是Zoe

*Fails miserably* X2

Zoe：Ethan！這裡

BOX!

你在跟我開玩笑嗎

*Sad whimper*

他怎麼沒有死??

BOX!

Zoe：在它身上使用血清！

Alright, I almost missed a bunch of boxes.

Pewd：不！我不想浪費它們 Ethan：妳想要我治癒他？

(It's expected of you at this point Pewds)

Zoe：他感染太嚴重了，我想那會殺死他

Good one.

Jack：喔喔喔喔喔 爽爽爽爽爽

That was fun, I liked that boss fight.

那真是棒

Hey. A boat and everything. How are you all doing?

喔 不 現在我們只有一枚血清了

Alright.

Zoe：來吧，Mia在等我們

I mean.You... You literally just said.

呃 這變得很尷尬

So. Uh now I choose between Zoe and uh Mia.

所以你是對的，我們只剩一個

I assume that.

靠

Uh, you know. Who's hotter?

還有..那有個箱子

Okay, uh.

耶耶耶耶耶耶耶耶耶耶耶

eenie

箱子~