I got bad news...

我有個壞消息

You might want to sit down.

你可能會想坐下來聽

How do I even begin to say this? ?

我該怎麼開頭呢?

All my Dr. Phil videos...

我所有的Dr. Phil影片

...got claimed (???)

收到了Sony TV的版權警告

By Sony TV (cmon Sony, you give us spooderman and loli spooderman)

全部

All of them

它們就這麼突然冒出來

They struck out of nowhere

我甚至毫無防備

I wasn't even prepared

你知道.Dr. Phil穿過我的襯衫

You know, Dr. Phil wore my t-shirt (totally legit btw the way)

所以我想他應該是個bro.okay?

So I thought he was a bro, okay?

我想他應該會理解並感激我的影片為他的節目帶來不少吸引力

I thought he would appreciate my videos and understand that it gave traction to his show

但這當然也表示---不會再有任何有關Dr. Phil的影片了

but, this of course means... No more Dr. Phil videos (imma cri)

我知道!我也哭了.我一直都在哭

I know! I'm crying too and I have been crying

這是個巨大的F.沉痛的F

this is a big F, a massive F

不論多少G fuel 都無法解決這個問題

No amount of G fuel in the world is gonna solve this problem.

我知道

I know

但取而代之的是

But instead...

(乾吃G-fuel)

*Eats dry G-fuel*

我們要來看些天殺的Tik-Tok影片

We're gonna have to watch some goddam Tik-Toks (original content)

因為我沒有任何備案了!

Cuz I got nothing else planned! (pewnews maybe)

所以.Dr. Phil .如果你在聽

Now Dr. Phil if you're listening,

我沒有震怒

I'm not mad,

Okay?

Okay?

我只是很失望

I'm just disappointed :(

而且我等著

and I'm waiting!

我等著!

I'm waiting,

那份欠我的道歉

for my apology.

還有收回警告.okay?

and retraction, okay?

Sony ATV Publishing(索尼/聯合電視音樂出版公司)

Sony ATV Publishing

你知道什麼叫"合理使用"嗎?

Do you know what fair use is?

Hit or miss! (meme)

Huh?

但是

Hit or miss!

Never mi-

But!

為什麼鏡頭這麼近

Never mi-

與此同時.

Why is the camera so close?

我們要來看些Tik-Tok影片

In the mean while,

我們開始吧

We're gonna have to review Tik-Toks

"人們老說我長得一臉受驚樣.

Let's just freakin do this.

好像有人在鏡頭後拿槍指著我似的"

Tik-Toker: People keep saying I look scared,

不你看起來像個小婊子(消音)

like there is a person behind the camera holding a gun at me.

抱歉.我實在太沮喪了

Pewds: No, you look like a little *****

我很沮喪

Okay, goddamit,

我們來看點好的Tik-Tok影片

Sorry, I'm upset,

我們看點超讚的Tik-Tok影片來自我激勵

I am upset!

"今天要工作一整天.我知道"

Let's see some good Tik-Toks

"我們甚至還沒開始"

Let's get some really good Tic-Toks to cheer me up.

為什麼2013年的JackSepticEye在我的Tik-Tok片單裡?

Jackspedicey, probably: Full-time today, I know!

滾開!

We haven't set off yet.

愛爾蘭人.我不想見到你

Another one: Eh

還有很多其他時間

Why is 2013 JackSepticEye in my Tic-Tok feed?

但不是現在

Begone!

"這小子只是晃了晃手.就得到34000個讚"

Irish man, I don't want you

"證明了只要長得好看就會有讚"

There's a time and place for everything,

"噢等等"

but not now.

"我就是長得好看的那個小子"

This guy got 340 thousand likes just for moving his hands

這招玩得好.

Proving you need to be good looking to get likes.

Eisen of the Builder(? 他和Leafy長的真像.不是嗎?

*Eats G-Fuel*

所有這些Tik-Tok小孩

When do s- I'm that good-looking guy.

長得都一個樣!

Ooooh!

挖.太驚人了

Well, well played.

這些影片的品質真是太驚人了.要花一輩子的時間才做的出來

Well I guess Eisen of the Builder. They look like Leafy, don't they?

甚至沒辦法用綠幕就做出來.看

All these TikTok kids...

"嘿.你有毒品嗎?" "當然有"

they all look the same!

Brad出現在我的TikTok影片中做啥?走開.老兄

Wow incredible

先是Leafy.然後是 jack.現在換 Brad.到底發生了什麼事

The production quality of these have really increased massively. That must have taken forever.

"你不是條子吧?"

We can't even do that with the green screen. Look:

"當然不" "真的?如果你是條子一定要老實招來"

*fail*

他是帶了鼻環嗎?...damn.Brad.我沒想到你是這種小(消音)

Hobo: Hey, you got the drugs? Other hobo: Of course I got the drugs

不.他只是鼻子大了點.抱歉

What is Brad doing in my TikTok vid? Get out of here, man?

我的老天鵝啊.是minecraft

First Leafy, then jack now Brad? what the Frick is going on

(乾吃G-fuel)

Not a cop

對了.別把它從罐子裡直接拿出來吃.我是因為太絕望了

Are you of course? Not are you sure cuz if you're a cop you have to tell me does he have a septum ring?

對.我就有一隻狗.永遠別打狗

Damn, Brian. I didn't take you for a little

我不在乎這是不是在Minecraft裡面.令人感覺很糟.你已失去我的尊敬.TikTok社群

No, he just has a big nose, sorry

我連G fuel都吃不下.太森氣了

holy sh*t It's minecraft

綠巨人浩克.看起來會像--- 浩克!

Don't eat it out of the can by the way, I'm just really desperate

我的脊椎

Yeah, I only had a dog don't ever hit a dog

ok...

I don't care if it's in Minecraft that actually makes it worse. You lost my respect

那很好

TikTok community. I can't even eat G fuel now. I'm so angry The Incredible Hulk be like hulk

各位.我不知道你們怎麼看.但那實在有夠尷尬.跌倒並不好笑.ok?

My spine

噢老天.那真是太---經典了

Okay

他打開了冰箱門.真有趣.真是他x的太有趣了.我在笑.我真的有在笑.

That was great

別批評我.Ok?我不需要你的批評.我過了糟糕的一天.我所有的Dr. Phil影片--- 你的Dr. Phil影片有收到版權警告嗎?

Guys, I don't buy you, but that was freaking cringe balling is not funny. Okay?

我不認為.Ok.我不懂.我不懂.他竟然這麼做.你不能就這樣給警告

Whoa, holy wow, that's so

他在幹嘛? "把它貼在手機鏡頭上"

eeepic

恩.然後呢?

He opened the fridge that's that's funny. That's really *oopsie* funny. I'm laughing. I'm actually laughing don't judge me

"現在你就有一台新的android手機了! "

Okay, I don't need judgment. I'm having a rough day. all my Dr. Phil did all your dr. Phil videos get claimed

不

I don't think so. Okay. I don't understand. I don't understand how he can do this. You can't just claim videos

我受夠了每個人都說Android手機畫質差.看看我的攝影機品質.我用的就是Android

What is he doing? put in for your other camera

品質超讚

yeah, and then

非常感謝.你們這些懶惰的猶太---隨便那叫啥.我不跟小孩打交道

and there you go brand new android

各位.我陷入兩難.我花了49天拼成的pewdiepie牆.現在我---

No

這是必須的.各位

I'm sick and tired of everyone saying that Android has bad quality. Look at my camera quality I use an Android

如果你家沒有pewdiepie牆.那麼我必須告訴你壞消息

and it's excellent quality

你最好現在就取消訂閱.因為那訂閱什麼也不是

Thank you very much. Y'all just a bunch of lazy and phone (juicers? tf)

除非你有個插著蠟燭的pewdiepie神壇.或是...

Whatever it's called I don't keep up with the kids.

或是動漫妹子.或其他的.老天

Guys I'm under crisis. So my pewdiepie wall

"...和某人打賭要不要把它拿下來." 別拿下來 "這會是個挑戰.但我需要10000個讚才不會把它拿下來.所以.祝我好運"

Matter for 49 days now and I kind of want as it should by the way

你可能會覺得這是騙讚的爛招數.

If you don't have a pewdiepie wall, I got bad news for you

但我覺得很值得.快去這影片按讚.各位.你聽見他說的了.1萬個讚.我們能辦到嗎?讓神壇保持屹立不搖

you might as well go unsubscribe right now (he's just kidding lmao) because that subscription

"你訂閱pewdiepie了嗎?"

Means nothing! unless you have at least a PewDiePie altar with a candle or...

"如果你有就抬一下眉毛" 挖.太厲害了.太讚了.毫無疑問

An anime girl or something god damn. accuse the one deal to not take it down though

這些男的是誰?他是怎麼把頭髮弄成那樣的?為什麼?

Don't take it'll be a challenge, but I need 10,000 likes to not to get down. So good luck

"你看見了嗎?你看見了嗎?"

Well you might think this is pretty cheap attempt to get likes

"Wave check meme並不好笑.ok?" 為啥?

But I think it's worth it smash like on this video guys. You heard the man 10,000 likes. Can we do it?

"這是歧視.因為.因為...我是美國原住民.我們有很棒的波浪狀---"

Keep that altar up

他到底在公三小.我好困惑.這是反串嗎?wavy shake memes很經典的

Did you subscribe to PewDiePie what is

這些人只是想用釣魚標題來整人.這並不好.ok.我知道你想幹麻

Raise your eyebrow if you did Wow, incredible amazing, absolutely

美國原住民先生.ok?

Who tf are these guys how do you even get your hair like that? And why?

"沒有人..."

yo- you see this? yeah. you see this

"跟著我做"

Wave check memes are not funny. Okay why they're racist. Oh, I mean I mean

BBC:"你為何應該訂閱Tseries" BBC:"10個Tseries比Pewdiepie好的理由"

I'm a Native American

沒想到你竟然是敵人.huh?

We have brilliant wavy the hell are you saying I'm so confused trolling or not. I can't tell wavy shake memes are epic

我想你死定了.BBC

Not funny. These people are just trying to bait out to like troll em' It's so not epic. Okay. I know what you're doing

真的這樣寫嗎

Mr. Native American, okay

我住在你的國家ㄟ

nobody

我們應該是同一國的!

Yeah, I've been nice to be kind of me considerate of them. I got you guys like laughter funny ha ha

10個理由...我可想不到半個理由

Do it with me

-10個理由...我找不到.他們刪文了嗎?還是這是假新聞?

Why you should subscribe to t-series 10 reasons why t-series is better than Pewdie-

耶和華祈禱書...噢老天.差距就要到0了...什麼?

I didn't think you were such an enemy huh?

感謝你.祈禱者.世上真是無奇不有

guess you are gonna have to die now BBC news

我想現在TikTokers和我們同一國了.老天爺

today actually r-

他們為啥還沒超過?每次看起來就明明快了.差距又會再拉大.我實在不懂

what the ff- is this I live in your country

我是說.讚啦.我樂於接受

We're supposed to be on the same side

"Kev?"

10 reasons I can't think of a single reason

"最近好嗎?"

-10 reason I can't see I cannot find it. They actually delete it or it is it fake?

"經典的擊掌."

Jah prayer book. Oh god, it's it's about to hit zero it hit what?

"這很簡單.我只要伸出手臂.攤開手心.接住這波衝擊就好"

Thank you jah prayer what in the world

"等等.他想做什麼?他想擊拳.但我已經到第三步驟了."

Well, we have TikTokers on our side I guess. Jesus Christ. How is he not passed yet?

"還有時間.如果我能握緊拳頭並把伸展速度降低40%.我就能在他往下揮時接住"

Every time it looks like it's gonna pass it just goes back up again. I don't get it

"之後就只剩下一些小事---"

I mean hell, yeah, I'll take it but. Kev?

那很讚.人們就是不了解.我擁有高超的握手技巧.一堆人說我不會握手.真是太荒謬了.

Yo, what's going on?

你可以用任何方式跟我擊掌.我絕對能應付.因為我總是領先你們十步的思維.這絕不會發生在我身上的

I've got Laennec my tight arms slapping hit

這是另一種和矮個子有關的meme嗎?

This will be easy. I extend my arm open my grip and brace for impact

ok.首先.5呎11吋.等等.5呎11吋多高?...180.就像我說的...這高度還比不上我

Wait, what is he? Yeah, what is he doing? He's going for a fist bump and I'm already in Phase three

5呎11吋很高了.ok

There's still time if I can close my grip and decrease my extension velocity by 40% Then I can catch him on the downswing

yeah.6呎 ok.6呎

After that, it's just a matter of--

果然是6呎.這真是鬼扯.這是歧視.對我來說這就是真正的歧視.ok?

oh that was great, this is what people don't understand

我要再想想這話是否出自真心.但現在.這就是---我受夠了!

I have an excellent handshake a lot of people say oh you don't have a good handshake. It's absolutely incredible

除了你沒辦法rap的很快

Hit me up with anything. I will be able to counter it because I'm always ten steps ahead

...而且她為啥看起來像sans?我只是拋出問題.不多評論

This would never happen to me always is another meme of a short people

她看起來超像sans.她是特意在窗戶前錄嗎?

Okay, first of all, five eleven, wait, how come I 511 180? That's what I don't even at me

若是這樣我可以理解.否則這就只是尷尬

511 is really tall, okay

如果她會發出[嗶嗶嗶]的聲音

Yeah, six feet okay got it six feet

那肯定很有趣.給她一點建議.

Hey, look at six feet. This is bullshit. This is discrimination. And this is true racism in my opinion. Okay?

我知道那不是個超好笑的笑話.但是個很經典的梗.讓我澄清這點

I don't know if I stand by those words yet. Let me just think about it a little bit. But for now, this is

這些可悲的傻瓜.小孬孬.有臺Origin PC的超屌電腦.卻只會玩遊戲機的遊戲.

I'm sick of it

超讚的電腦.10/10 baby.充分發揮了它的潛力.別把它跟遊戲機相提並論

My head's not broken. It's just this right. I got a healthy body but shitty brains. I'm good at rapping fast. But I can't

怎麼.你太窮嗎?

accept you don't even

真正的窮...人們老說如果你買不起airpod叫做窮.不.如果你沒有一台遊戲機.這才叫窮

Talk about this and why does she look like SANS? Okay. I'm just throwing that one in there as well

認清事實.我更正一下.這不是窮.只是可悲..只是可悲

She looks a hell of a lot like saying that's a lot. Is it intentional being placed in front of a window?

老天.他想幹嘛

Cuz then I can respect it. Otherwise, it's just pure cringe if she started going

當有人開始這麼做時.你就知道我們已經走投無路了

*sans noises*

從海報標語開始

That would be a funny joke. Just trying to have kids out. I understand that

到最後就直接---

It's not a funny joke, but it's an ironic funny joke. Okay. Let me just clear on that

那個挺好. "omg.大家一直說我是橘色的人.但我很明顯是白人好嗎?"

Here's my playstation is bared in xbox. Just let you know. I've only played for two years

好的.我想今天網路用得夠多了.感謝大家看完另一部精彩的影片

I've been playing since halo 2 so I've played more time on Xbox that I have PlayStation here being a don't get mad

我不知道我的看法.但你應該感謝我.按讚.訂閱.買週邊.非常好

Smaller and lighter console better controller an incredibly simple home screen that has never changed Xbox. I mean, that is a good point

所有人推特給Dr. Phil.把這件事散播出去.拜託.我希望這些版權警告能被撤銷

Actually, I can't even count them. All you Xbox players think you're so clever with your backwards compatibility in game pass

我還以為我們交情很好.Dr. Phil.

Well, we have PlayStation now, which is our game pass and backwards compatibility in one

別讓我失望.就先這樣.因為這是我們目前所能做的.而且不大樂觀

VR it's a faster console and actually pretty decent camera more and better exclusives than just

Halo this pathetic fools these cowards that play

console games when you can have an Origin PC

Excellent computer 10 out of 10 baby really maximize the potential, you know, don't even at me with a console

What are you poor they're real poor

Everyone is like, oh you're poor if you have don't have a hair cause know you're poor if you have a gaming console

Let's get real here and let me stop my step. They're not poor just pathetic just pathetic

Oh god, what is gonna?

You know, we're getting desperate when we're doing this shit

It started off with posters

And it ends with just pure

This is me one day on steroids, this is me one week on steroids. Okay, this is

Good oh my god, everyone keep saying that I'm Orange clearly. I'm white

Can you not tell that I'm white orange is not even a race

I'm clearly at the white race not an orange. So I don't understand that comment below from orange or white cuz I'm clearly white

Alright, well, I think that about does it. Thank you guys so much for another epic video

I don't know what I'm thinking you you should be thanking me smash like subscribe buy all the merch very nice

Now everyone tweet my man. Dr. Phil, let's get they spread please I need

These copy strikes to get removed. I thought we had something special. Dr. Phil

Please do not disappoint and that's it for now because otherwise, this is all we have and it ain't good. What?

cheaper simulators becoming relevant

No, no, don't leave

No, please sponsor eagle. Please do something

Yes

This game is still relevant god damn it