Danny, get out of there!

DANNY 快出來!

Danny, it's not REAL!!

DANNY 那不是真的! DA-

D- [music]

*時空怪客主題曲*

[music] *echo effect* Danny! IT'S NOT REAL! D-

DANNY 那不是真的!

*background* Danny...

DANNY 快出來!

*echo effect* Danny, get out of there!

DANNY 快出來!

*echo effect* Danny, get out of there.

DANNY

Danny!

Danny 你是在玩-- 你聽得見嗎?

Danny, are you playing with the...

我可能也會自己玩著這個吧，我猜

Can you hear me?

我想我別無選擇了

[Music]

只能自己一個人 來玩這遊戲了

[Music intensifies]

我才不想這樣 做只是為了告訴你們這是錯的

I might as well... play this myself then I guess.

我們要來玩 哦 熱帶女孩的VR

I guess I have no other choice but

這遊戲很早之前就出了

to play this game myself!

*驚嚇*

It's not~ I don't want to

*笑翻*

I guess,

我的手--

just to show you that it's wrong.

哇嗚

I will do it. >:(

*感謝老天*

We're gonna play-

謝謝你

oh.

哇嗚

So it's "Tropical Girls VR".

呃嗨 這泳池真棒 感覺裡面真的有水一樣

(aka Virtual Reality)

這感覺真的很像未來

This game was announced

我可以移動嗎 天哪 我可以

pretty much, very early.

哇 我的天哪

[Uh.. picture Spongebob music with a romantic more tropical twist.]

這裡到處都是正妹

HO!

喔當然我不能跟這些蠢杯子互動

[ignored]

別擔心我美女們 我可能看起來像是一張桌子--

WoooOaAaaAAH

其實還蠻棒的(?)

How-

我就是一張桌子

My hands!

你就繼續在那好了

Wow ಠ_ಠ

哇嗚

*whispers* Thank you.

*笑*

*whispers* Thank you!

說真的，這看起來好屌

Wow!

哇嗚 你真

Well, hello! What a nice pool-

妳看起來真好 整個人都融進去

-it... it really looks like real water there.

融進他媽的牆裡

This truly feels like the futur-

好我要來把自己淹死

Can I walk? Oh my god, I can walk, wo- Oh my go-

*靜默*

There's hot babes everywhere!

這好多了

Of course I can't interact with shit

這一定更好玩

Don't worry about me ladies I may look

這遊戲剛出VR的時候 所有人都一副

like I'm a table...

"喔天哪我一定要用VR打炮 這一定會很--"

*silent* Actually that's perfect... I am a table!

*突然嚇人*

Keep doing what you're doing!

嘿

Wow! *laughs*

我的媽呀那也太近了

It looks so shit like honestly...

歹勢

Wow, you look... you look good there, you look good-

今天是第64天

merging with that... with a fucking wall...

我一直都在這裡露營 遠離那些女的

Aight, I'm just gonna drown myself...

我討厭她們

Yeah this is much better!

她們超噁

This is definitely more interesting!

我在哪???

This is the game that as soon as they

喔我在這

announced VR everyone was like 'oh my god'

好

I'm going to play porn on the VR it's

快買那遊戲

gonna be so.. *jump scare* EY! Jesus Christ... That's close... Excuse me..

它是一個很酷的遊戲

*change of music* It's day 64

好 那我

I've been... I've been camping out here

這挺怪的 因為我是以第一人角度看這遊戲

away from the girls.

可是你們看到我 是以第三人稱

I hate them, they are disgusting!

我不知道為什麼

Where am I? Oh, I'm here... OK...

我們開始吧

I paid, erm... I paid money for that one... That's pretty cool

喔天哪 這真的有夠奇怪

that's a pretty cool game *sarcasm*

我在哪? 我為什麼在那?

[music]

喔

[music INTENSIFIES]

拜託我可以進去嗎

Ok, so, I... This is kind of weird because

*吉他*

this game, I'm in first person, but you

嘿一一一一一

guys will see me as 3rd person.

*亂吼亂叫*

I don't know. Let's... Oh my god, this is so strange!

開始囉

[Bar crowd]

呃 請給我一個 兄弟拳(brofist)

Where am...? Why am I out here?

開始囉，喔不，手不太對

Oh...

你在衝三小?

Can I come in please?

冷靜

Hey!

冷靜

AAAAAH!!! *pewds transforms - acquires 'hand'*

啊!不

There we go!

把手放下

One, uh...

幹

Bro fist, please! *laughs silently*

我甚麼都沒做喔

Oh, there we go..

好吧，我們來這裡好了

My hand..

換歌囉~

No! Wrong.. Hand movement... What the fuck are you doing?

開始~

Calm down! Calm down!! AH! No!

拿起椅子

Put it down! ssshhit... I'm not doing anything!

喔

OK, let's just go over here.

哦

Let's change song... [crowd reacts] There we go.

Yaaaaah

Excuse me, chair?

喔~好爽

*euhh* Oh... Oh... Yeah...

喔喔喔喔

Yeah, that goood...

哦...我....

Ooooooh uh...

喔，幹，他躺了

Can I sm... [NPC hurt sound]

我打倒他了

Oh, got him! I got him!

喔喔開戰了!!!!

[Fight sounds]

喔喔喔

Oh, oh, it's on! Oh, oh, oh! [Fight sounds]

你想嘗嘗我的厲害嗎

You want some of this? You want some of this, bitch? [Fight sounds]

想挨打嗎，你這婊子

Yeah! That's right, I fuck you up, I fuck you up!

就是這樣啦，揍死你

Cash me ousside, how 'bout that? *laughs ironically*

幹爆你

No... No! He's slapping me! ugh...

到外面單挑阿 (輸贏姊 梗)

ueyug eyug uweh weh (Accurate transcription)

ㄏㄏ

I take you on, everyone, every single last one of... One of you *laughs* A-hey!

喔不，他在打我

Wow, shit, he did a roundhound... house kick!

嗯...嗯...

Wha, I've lost it!

嗯嗯嗯

No! I died!

喔喔喔

I got to pick myself up...

我要打爆你們，每一個!

Ah, shit, I flew everywhere... Fuck, where am I?

一個都別想逃

Damn it...

每一個都ㄅ....哈哈哈

Damn it!

幹。他會迴旋踢

[Announcer] The bartender won't serve you down there, maybe next time you should pick yourself up!

停

Shut the fuck up...

我被卡住了

[music]

我死了

[It intensifies]

我要自己站起來

Whoa, that's cool!

幹 我到處飛

This is cool actually.

他媽的，我在哪裡

OK, so I can.. walk... How do I walk forward?

該死的

Lantern, calm down.

該死的

How do I walk?

遊戲：酒保在這個距離下給不到你酒

YAWH! *laughs*

遊戲:也許下一次你要試試自己站起來

*clicks buttons*

幹你娘閉嘴

Whoa, this is creepy guys, this is actually pretty scary

喔喔喔 酷喔

I really feel like I am in a corridor.

這是真的滿酷的

[Scary background noises]

我可以走路，要怎麼前進...

This better be... This better be a porn game, Danny!

燈燈冷靜喔

I swear to god...

我要怎麼走啦

[Scary footsteps and breathing]

阿

Can I walk a little slower? *sarcasm*

(按按)

Some creatures are attract... Oh!

這真的很怪

Better, eh... Turn it off then!

滿可怕的

God, it's scary, this is scary, I'm scared, I don't like it

我感覺真的在走走廊

hello?

這最好是個色情遊戲，danny

Aight, let's check where we are...

我發誓

OK... where VEE are [sounds like "VR"]

我可以走慢點嗎

Oh god, THERE'S SOMETHING BEHIND ME!

有生物被吸引來了 喔

Oh, bad!

我最好，轉身，哦

Oohhh my goodd, this is really scary, I don't like it!

這滿恐怖的，我好怕，我不喜歡這樣

I don't wanna play this!

嗨?

I don't know what that is, but I'll be going THIS way!

來看看我們在哪邊

Some creatures will... Shut the fuck up, text...

好的

[Alien sound thing]

V在哪 (音譯:VR)

OH! *swedish curses* I don't...

喔幹幹幹幹幹 有東西在我後面

All right, uhm...... next game

喔喔喔不好了啦

[MUSIC]

我的天啊

[INTENSIFIED MUSIC]

這真的好恐怖，我討厭這樣

On second though, I think this game is... Pretty good actually.

我不想玩了啦QQ

Hey, how you doing, what's your name?

我不知道那邊有什麼，但我還是要走這裡

Lisa!

有些生物會..... 閉嘴啦幹你的字幕

Wow, jeez, don't do that. Do not do that, Do NOT do...

喔

How you doin' down there?

幹你媽的

Keep doing your thing, you're doing a great job!

好

Hello, hello. Welcome to...

下個遊戲

"Don't tell Marzia Productions"

在想一次，我想這遊戲真的棒多了

[MUSIC]

正妹安安

[MORE MUSIC]

小姐芳名?

OK, next.. next one, Danny lov... Danny loves this one!

麗莎(嬌

[annoying music]

喔幹，你他媽不准再那樣搖頭了

wow, what a good game.

嗨，美女安安

[annoying music]

繼續發呆，你做得很好

wow

嗨~嗨~

Oh, I'm going this way.

歡迎來到，不要跟Marzia說我在玩這個™

[Annoying music]

下一個

And now I'm going... this way!

DANNY(後面的人形立牌)一定會喜歡這個

Oh, I see!

哇

[Annoying music]

滿不錯的

[Music stops]

喔

[Annoying music continues]

喔我要去那裏

[Music stops]

不，我要往這...裡去

So, you go forward...

喔我懂了

Oh, swing your arms!

......

Oh! Okay, NOW it makes sense!

......

Holy SHIT I'm fast! Holy fuck I'm good.

......

[Awkward sounds]

所以你要往前...喔喔用手划喔

wow

喔對啦，這才像樣嘛

Wow, this is so cool!

幹，我好快喔

Take me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

幹你媽的，我超好

[Music again...]

哇

WHOOOOOOOOO!

這超酷DE啦

That was cool!

帶走我吧

Oh my god, I killed a deer... I killed another one.

喔喔喔喔喔喔

I feel sick.

那真的滿酷的

[MUSIC!!!]

喔幹，我把鹿殺掉了

I found... the best game of all time

我又殺一隻了...

by the way, no joke, no joke this time!

我覺得有事

No jo- Not this time!

我找到史上最棒的遊戲惹 沒再跟你唬爛

No, no, no! Not this time...

不，別這樣

Trump simulator, VR! Let's go.

不不

OK, so I'm Trump, right? Okay, so... Hey! Hey it's Trump!

不要喔你

I believe, I am, de Trump *laughs awkwardly*

川普模擬器，開始

I'm so beautiful! [Female voice] Mister Truuump,

好，所以我是川普吧?

[P]: yes. [Female voice] Mister Truump, you're on stage in fiiiiiiive.

ㄟㄟㄟ，就是川普

[P]: *Trump impression* eh, excuse me? [Female voice] I made a todo list for ya.

我相信我就是川普，ㄏㄏ

[P]: Exc... Ugh! [woman] If you could just get through, that - that would be greaat.

我好美喔~

[P]: *Trump impression* It's so good to be Trump, I... This is the worst Trump impression ever.

遊戲:川普先生

*Trump impression* But m8, I Iook good, ay you can't say I don't look good.

R?

*Trump impression continues* How good do Iook I Imma Trump

遊戲:您現在在5樓唷~

'Scuse me. 'Scuse me.

ㄏㄚˊ?

*deepthroat* ah, ah, ah, oh

我幫你做了一張清單

Oh my god we got STEAK! The Trump steak!

遊戲:如果你完成了 那一定很棒~

Oh my, I've always... I've always wanted to have a Trump steak.

當川普超爽DER

I can't reach it!

我是最醜的川普了

fuck!

其實也不錯啦

I can't, It's not fair! *Trump honk*

你不能說我看起來不好

*Actual Trump* China. President. Make. I. wall.

我看起來怎樣啊，我好川普喔

(silence)

哈囉

(builds to music)

哈囉

[Music]

(吃對講機) (深喉嚨模式:ON)

[Music]

天啊有牛排ㄟ

[Bar crowd]

川普排

[NPC hurt sound, applause]

喔我一直都...

[NPC hurt sound]

我一直都想買個川普排

Get my beer!

我拿不到啦!!

Yeah!

幹你媽的

Get dat POWA!

這不公平阿，吃不到 川普:錯

["Mortal Kombat"]

川普:中國

The drift, Jaegertack, based on DARPA jet-fighter neural systems.

川普:總統

Two pilots mind-melding through

川普:讓

memories with the body of a giant machine

川普:我

the deeper the bond... the better you fight.

川普:高牆

*Mortal Kombat theme*

......

*sounds of fighting exertion*

哇~

fuck you mate, fuck you

我的酒呢

*fighting sounds*

爽啦

That's right, I - I'll fight you both at the same time! *intense fighting*

精神都來了

At the same god damn time! *intense fighting*

(旋風快打音樂) (其實是真人快打，但是為了大家都了解，所以用旋風代替)

I'm KongFuMasta. *intense fighting*

你最好現在開始

What you want, what you want?

幹你的

Arghhh.. Ahhhh..

看我的

ahhh

一次打2個!

А...А.....а.......а....

在他媽的同時