*burp*

媽的這是什麼。。。

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

媽的這是什麼。。。

What the fuck is this.

女士們早上好

*WAPOOSH*

我的名字是JACKSEPTICEYE，歡迎回來-

TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU LADDIES.

*土豆們大喊*

MY NAME IS JACKSEPTICEYE AND WELCOME BACK

女士們早上好

*yelling*

我的名字是JACKSEPTIC-

*WAPOOSH*

*竊笑*

TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU LADDIES

*更多大喊*

MY NAME IS JACKSEPTIC--

*笑*

*snickers*

噢。。這個好

*pot8oes yelling*

*哭哭*

*laughs*

*啜泣*

Oh.. that's good ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

當你需要水的時候，它在那？

*emotional music plays*

我不能相信這。。

*crying*

**

*sob*

人們想。。。

SQUIRREL!

。。。我很醜

Where's the water when you need it..?

“你很醜”

I can't believe this..

“你好醜”

People think..

“Pewdiepie又老又醜”

..I'm ugly :(

喔～～～“你他媽的醜”

"U ugly."

“請剃鬍子”

"You're ugly."

醜。。

"Pewdiepie is so old n ugly."

“為什麼你怎麼醜呢。。？”

Ohhh.. "You look ugly af."

“Pewdiepie很醜，我的。。

"Pls shave."

手～～～

OH NO U DIDN'T!

“很醜，請殺了我吧，謝謝”

Ugly..

醜

"Why you so ugly..?" (I'M HANDSOME BITCH)

為什麼每一個人都覺得我很醜？

"Pewdiepie is so ugly my..

是因為我巨大的鼻子？

HANDSSSF

是因為我自我膨脹？

..are so ugly please kill me thank you."

是因為我既醜陋

*PRAYS TO HARAMBE WHO DIED FOR OUR SINS*

又不討好的性格嗎？

perfect

等一下。。

UGLY

這是什麼？

These subtitles are Dank, but pewds looks down and doesnt approve.

看看這些有吸引力的人

Why does everyone think I'm ugly? (Not me :3)

看看他- 漂亮！

Is it my gigantic nose?

我永遠不會想這樣的漂亮！

(Pewds, u beautiful)

為什麼我一出生就長著一個瑞典臉？

Is it my inflated ego?

漂亮。。

Is it my disgusting..

驚艷絕色。。

..unattractive personality?

超可愛。。！

Wait a minute..

非常可愛！

What is this?

喔～～～～～～～～

It's a Youtube video innit?

十八

Look at all these attractive people! (Why am i not fking on this)

十八

Look at the-- beautiful!

十八 nigg-

I'll never be this beautiful!

喔，在貝克漢姆的後面，huh?

Why was I born with this Swedish face?

在貝克漢姆的後面

Beautiful..

嘿，為什麼我不是第一？

Absolutely stunning..

“為什麼Zayn是第91而Pewdiepie 是第18，這是他媽的什麼”

So cute..!

[...]

So cute!

因為ZAYN，你長的像屎

OOOOOOOOOOO (AND U SAID I WAS UGLY BISH, U WRONG!) R.I.P Headphone users

十八，huh?

*Heroic Music*

*笑*

EIGHTEEN

“Pewdiepie 十八? ?? ? ? ? XDXDXDXD”

EIGHTEEN

看在他媽的份上。。

EIGHTEEN NIGG- (How dare I)

好嗎？

Oh, RIGHT AFTER BECKHAM, HUH?

沒錯，討厭我的人，我是他媽的漂亮

RIGHT AFTER BECKHAM

還有你知道嗎，我明白

Hey, why am I not number one? (Robbie Rotton confirmed)

你們-- 你們為自己的長相

"How Zayn is at 91 and Pewdiepie is at 18 what the fuck is this."

感到忌妒

[...](bruh)

我明白der，但你知道！

C'AUSE ZAYN, YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT~~(Roasting Zayn)

我有很多才華，不超越我美麗的臉

EIGHTEEN, HUH?

*笑*

*laughing*

我說笑而已。好嗎？

"Pewdiepie 18 ? ?? ? ? ? XDXDXDXD"

完全

For fuck's sake..

不是

Okay?

我沒有開玩笑

That's right haters, I'm fucking beautiful.

好吧，我察覺到你們需要一點幫助

And you know, I get it.

而你知道，我對Photoshop也是蠻在行的！

You guys-- you guys get jealous.

所以，我會接受你麼的請求！

..of how you look.

我會嘗試幫你們對自己感到比較好

I get it, but you know!

因為我希望你會跟我一樣的

I have many talents, not beyond my beautiful face. (If u know what I mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

呃。。一樣的滿足

*laughs*

我想滿足你們，兄弟

I'm joking. Okay?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Not really.

開始吧！

At all.

“Pewdiepie，給我一張嘴！”

I'm not joking.

好，這應該很容易

Alright, so I realize that you guys many need a little bit of help.

Wow！這-

And, uh, you know, I'm pretty good with Photoshop!

這很好看啊。。！

So, I'll take some requests!

不客氣！

I'll try to help you guys feel better about yourself.

我不知道為什麼你沒有嘴巴，但現在你有了

'Cause I want you to feel just as fulfilled as..

就不要吃那私處。。

..as, uh, as I am.

“Pewdiepie，讓我變 emo”

I wanna satisfy you bros.

好吧

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

我可以做到

Let's go!

好吧，完成！

"Pewdiepie, give me a mouth!"

我們 --好吧 --- 我們完成了

'Kay, well that should be easy.

ROASTED

(Challenge accepted)

我們還有什麼？

TIMEWARP!!!!!!

“我的夢想是長的像一台洗衣機”

Wow! That--

好der

That looks so good..!

這可以安排

You're welcome! (Why did i choose a shark idk im meme)

好der，之後，我們只需要--

I don't know why you didn't have a mouth, but now you do.

把它弄得非常大

Just don't eat that pussayy.. Its for me

弄得非常 -- 非常的凸

"Pewdiepie, make me emo."

喔天啊

Alright.

我們-- 好啦！

I can do that.

你是一台洗衣機！

Alright, done!

不客氣！

We're-- alright-- we're done here.

我讓別人夢想成真，媽的

ROASTED (Ight whos next bitches)

我覺得你以前看起來比現在。。

Alright, what else do we got?

好多了

"My dream is to look like a washing machine."

“請讓我變成色情的觸手”

Okay.

好吧。。。

That can be arranged.

好。。好der！！！

TIMEWARP!!!

你知道，我不會批評其他--

Das a nice washing machine Dawg!

我粉絲的外觀，但我--

Alright, then we just gotta--

這雙眉毛。。

Make it real big.

他們很像賽道！！

Make it real-- real pop. (What am i doing)

它令我想起 小剛 的眉毛

Oh god.

要把他們接上嗎？我覺得應該要

We're-- There you go!

你-- 你的雀斑讓我想起。。

You're a washing machine!

他們讓我想起 章魚

You're welcome!

你知道，他們有一樣的皮膚質感

I make peoples' dreams come true, dammit.

她的願望，說實在的，是成為一個 色情的觸手

I think you look way better..

所以

..before.

我有什麼可以幫她做到？

"Make me into tentacle porn please."

特權

Fine.

好der，這給你

Fine! Alright!

你是色情的觸手囉

You know, I wouldn't criticize other--

現在給我滾蛋吧

My fans' physical appearance but I--

他媽的份上

These eyebrows..

噁心

They look like a race track! (ZOOM ZOOM BISH)

*暗自得意* 喔，我忘了她是長這樣的

*Pewds making a masterpiece as always*

*吧Phill弄的更漂亮吧。喔等一下。你做不到。因為他是完美的*

It kind of reminds me of the eyebrows of Brock.

喔，對不起喔

*akward silence*

Phill 有在2016年排名第十八嗎？

Should they connect? I think they should.

不這麼想喔

*Pewds concentraiting hard*

好吧，Phill

ANIMUUUUUU!!! (◕‿◕✿) so kawaii!!!

你想變漂亮？

You-- Your freckles though does remind me..

我會把你變得漂亮

They remind me a little bit of an octopus.

我會把你弄的他媽的華麗

You know, they have the same kind of octopus skin texture.

喔鼻子！你去鼻子哪了，Phill？

Her wish was, in fact, to be a tentacle porn.

huh?

So.

去哪了？

Who am I to rob her of that?

Uh。 Phill

Privilege.

更像鼻臉

Okay, there you go.

BOOM

You're a tentacle porn.

喔不。。。喔不

Just get the fuck out now.

OHO ho ho oho

Fuck's sake.

喔媽的！

DISGUSTING

媽的，鼻孔

*chuckling* Oh, that's how she looked like. I forgot.

你去哪弄著鼻孔啊？

"Make Phil more beautiful. Oh wait. You can't. He's perfect."

我想我們應該繼續

Oh, I'm sorry.

“把Jacksepticeye弄的更好看（無論如何他已經比你好看）”

Is Phil ranked eighteen on 2016's list?! [he should be] {now, now, this issue should be left for Tumblr, not YouTube}

喔，對不起喔！

Didn't think so.

Jack在那個排名上嗎？

Alright, Phil.

我不認為

You wanna be beautiful?

好der。jack，看我們可以做些什麼

I'll make you beautiful. (Okay im lying)

*打嗝*

I'll make you fucking gorgeous. (Lies x2)

可愛

Oh no[se]! Where did your nose go, Phil?

可愛

Huh?

*唱*我會操著男的屁#

Where did it go?

TAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Butiful!!!

**

Eye see watcha doing there! (Get it? no? OK, I'll cry myself to sleep)

他很可愛

Uh. Phil.

AHA

More like Nose Face!! (ROASTED)

喔！這讓我打冷顫！

BOOM

這是他媽的奇怪！

Oh no.. ho ho

**

OHO ho ho oho

**

Oh damn, dog!

女士們早上好

Damn, those are some nostrils, man!

我的名字是

Dude, where you get those nostrils done?

PEEEEWWWWRG

I think we should move on.

PEEEERGH

"Make Jacksepticeye look betterer he already looks better than you anyways." (okay ur totally right)

好的，對不起

Oh, I'm sorry!

又有一點離題了

Is Jack on the top list?

*你的臉在Kazoo孩子的身體*

I don't think so.

*嘆氣*喔，那個跟我長得很像的Kazoo孩子嗎？

M'alright. Let's see what we can do, Jack. (Holy SHIT THIS IS BOOTIFUL)

*耳語*給我閉嘴

*burps*

沒錯，我會證明我不是Kazoo 男孩

CUTE

一次性的

CUTE

等一下

*singing* I would fuck that guy in the ass.. (whaaaaa..?)

*打嗝*

TAHAHAHAHAHAHA

我

*wheezes* (im copying nigahiga's style of wheezing)

的

IT'S SO CUTEEE (◕‿◕✿) (kawaii pot8oe man)

天

AHA

不*笑*

Oh! It makes me cringe!

不。這不可能

It's so fucking weird!

不可能的

*WAPEWSH*

我的天

*WAPOOSH*

我已經壓抑了這些回憶有這麼長的時間了

TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU LADDIES

天啊。為什麼我會忘記呢？

MY NAME IS

我從哪來。。。

(Video unavailable, content claimed by South park)

我的根本

PEEEEWWWWRG

我是。。。Kazoo男孩

PEEEERGH (wait how did i get here)

我一直都是。。。Kazoo男孩

Okay, sorry.

我很自豪，媽的

Got a little side-tracked there again.

[thud]

"Your face on Kazoo kid's body."

我喜歡唱歌。。

*sighs* Oh, the Kazoo kid which I apparently look like?

跳舞。。

*whispers* Shut the fuck up.

還有

Yeah, I'll prove that I'm not the Kazoo kid.

[Kazoo]

Once and for all.

KAAA ZOOO

Wait a minute.

[跟多kazoo]

*burps*

只要kazoo他

Oh.

[繼續kazoo]

My.

[Edgar] 好吧大家

God.

[Edgar] 由於Poods現在已經死了。。。

No. *laughs*

[Edgar] 請-- 我已經掌控了這個頻道，再次的

No. It can't be.

[Edgar] 請查看這裡更多的影片

It can't be.

[Edgar] 所以我可以幫Pewdiepie獲得更多adsense

OH MY GAWD *chuckles*

[Edgar] 我希望你喜歡這部影片，我猜

I've been suppressing the memories for so long. (lol im smoking :D)

[Edgar] 我會在下一部影片。。。更你見面喔！

Oh my god. How could I have forgotten?

[Edgar] 再見！再見！

Where I came from.. (Sweden duhhh)

[Edgar] 再。。再見！

My roots.

I am.. Kazoo kid.

I will always be.. Kazoo kid.

And I'm proud of it, dammit.

[thud]

I like to sing..

dance..

AND

[kazoo playing]

KAAA ZOOO

[more kazoo playing]

JUST KAZOO IT (or just do it which ever one you prefer)

[kazooing continues]

[Edgar] Alright guys. (Oi Edgar :D)

[Edgar]: Since Poods is dead now.. (Y?)

[Edgar] Please-- I've taken over the channel. Again.

[Edgar] Please check out the video over here for more videos.

[Edagr]: So I can get adsense for Pewdiepie.

[Edgar] I hope you enjoyed this video, I guess.

[Edgar] And I'll see you.. in the next one!

[Edgar] Goodbye now! Goodbye!

[Edgar] Buh buh bye! (And us subtitle ppl say bye bye too :D)