:(

:(

I don't have a lot of friends.

我沒有很多朋友

Shut the f-, danny. Do you want to go to the fucking ceiling?

閉嘴Danny 你想被我丟到天花板上嗎

I'm not playing around with you danny! Today, for the first time in my life,

我沒在開玩笑Danny! 這真的是我的第一次

I'm going to a house party. We're playing, "House Party:" the game.

我們今天要玩House Party

[Loud clapping]

*大聲拍手*

Made from the famous developer "EEK! LLC games."

這是很有名的"EEK! LLC"遊戲公司開發的

It's a great game. It's a really, really, really, really, good game.

它真的是一個很棒的遊戲 真的 真的 真的

[Burps]-_-

*打嗝lol*

Starting, new game. Oh my God, here we are. Oh? Okay.

開始新遊戲 OMG 好我們開始了 哦? OK

I'm a little nervous!

我有點小緊張

Okay, don't mess this up Pewds, you can do this. You can do this.

OK 別搞砸這個Pewds~你可以做到的 你可以的

This is the,

這是 呃

this is the fucking standard-room in Unity by the way

喔 這是他媽的初心者房間

[Laughs]

*ㄏㄏ*

Okay, whatever, all right. Let's go in and- oh hello, hello,

ok 隨便 ,好 我們進去吧 喔 嗨 喔嗨

Hello!

Hello!

Woah! She's dancing on the coffee table.

WOW 她站在咖啡桌上跳舞

My God. Those moves.

MY God 看她的動作

Danny, could you dance like that?

Danny, 你能像她那樣ㄎㄧㄤ嗎?

Sorry, you've got a little

喔抱歉

spit on you.

我噴了一些口水到你身上了

You may not have known this about me, but I'm actually an excellent dancer and I've been-

你可能不知道這件事實 但我其實是個很狂的舞者 而且

I've been waiting for a time to really, break down my moves.

其實我等這一刻很久了 要讓你們見識一下我的舞技

Ah.

Ahhhh!

Ah.

Ahhh!

Where's the dab? [Laughs]

看到我的經典Dab了吧 *笑*

Woah! Woah! What is wrong with your hair? What is wrong with it? Oh God, she's dancing t- Hello, how you doin'?

wow wow! 妳的頭髮是怎了? 有事嗎? OH GOD 她在跳舞 Hello 你在幹嘛?

Ok- oh. She keeps- oh.

ok. oh 她繼續..oh

Sorry, I didn't mean to.

抱歉 我不是故意的

[Dramatic music]

*戲劇性音樂*

All right, I think I'm supposed to talk to this girl.

好ㄅ 我覺得我應該跟這個妹子講話

Madison that's it. "Talk."

Madison 就是她了 按"講話"

"Um, do I know you?"

"呃,我認識你嗎?"

Uh, no, but I would like to get to know you a little better. "Aw that's sweet, I'm Madison."

喔 "不認識,但我想認識你多一點" "噢 嘴巴真甜 我是Madison"

Madison can you stop? Can you just stop? What the fuck is this? Oh, she doesn't like it. I'm sorry M-. I'm sorry, Madison.

Madison 你可以停一下嗎 就停一下 WTF這是啥? 喔 她好像不喜歡 我很抱歉 M.. 我很抱歉 Madison

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll get your phone. I'll get your phone, is that?- I have a third hand.

我很抱歉 我很抱歉 我會找到你的電話的 我會ㄉ 喔 那是? 我有第三隻手

[Laughs]

*lol*

Okay, good game... good game everyone. Very exciting game.

OK 真是適合全年齡的好遊戲 令人興奮的好遊戲

Very, very exciting game play.

真ㄉ是很讓人 興奮 的遊戲

Uh, how do I open?-

喔 我要怎麼打開?-

"Madison's bathroom." Okay, here we go. All right, where's the phone?

"Madison的浴室" OK 我們來了^^ 好喔 電話在哪邊?

Where's th- There we go.

是在哪 -喔這裡

"Take it."

"拿起來"

Madison's phone; got it. We're doing great. I think we're blending in really well in this party.

Madison的電話 拿到了 我們做得不錯 我覺得我們真的很融入這個party

What do you guys think? "It's not a real party." Ceiling, ceiling. You will go, to the fucking ceiling. "Kill yourself." Such natural

你們覺得呢? "這又不是真的party" 天花板 天花板! 你真的要給我滾去她媽的天花板 "去自殺啦^^"

movement, she has. Wow.

她走路的樣子還真是自然?LOL 哇喔

Wow.

哇喔

She really knows how to, work it. What is wron- Oh my God, what is happening? Good game. Good game everyone.

她真的知道要怎麼走 她到底是有 什麼事- 喔我的天 發生什麼事? 好遊戲 真的是好遊戲喔大家^_^

[Music]

*音樂*

All right, "here Madison I have your-" Can you chill? No sweat.

好喔 "這裡是Madison 我有你的" 妳能正常點嗎? 別緊張

No sweat. No sweat. No sweat. No sweat.

別緊張 別緊張 別緊張 別緊張

What she want us to do? "Aren't you a bold one? Help me play a prank on my sister," okay.

她想要我們幹嘛? "你膽子大嗎?幫我對我姊惡作劇" 好喔

"Humiliate Ashley." Ashley,

"汙辱Ashley" Ashley,

Ashley, how about that? How about- what a great party. I'm having a great time

Ashley, 怎樣啊? 怎- 真的是一個很棒的派對 我玩得很開心

There's Ashley! There's Ashley. Ashley! Ashley!

Ashley! 那裏! Ashley在那裏! Ashley! Ashley!

[French] excuse me, how (is it) going, what's your name ?

[法文] 不好意思, 妳好嗎? 妳叫什麼名字?

Oh Go- what happened?

喔 ㄍ... 又怎麼了?

Wait, I can grab the chair

等等 我可以拉椅子耶

Woah!

哇喔

Holy shit, man would you like a chair?

靠么XD 老兄你喜歡椅子嗎?

Ashley! How about your- how about a pizza? Would you like a pizza?

Ashley! 如何 你- 要不要來一片pizza? 你喜歡pizza嗎?

Where'd it go?

它去哪了?

Oh, there you are.

喔 原來你在這

Where'd she go? Ashley!

她去哪了? Ashley!

Ashley I have a pizza! Ashley, w-

Ashley 我拿了pizza! Ashley, w-

[Laughs]

*笑*

Co- Just open your mouth, Ashley. I got it for you. I got it for you, trust me.

ㄉ 打開妳的嘴 Ashley. 我為妳拿的 我真的是為了妳拿的 相信我

I think she likes it. Oh, okay, all right. "Hi. I'm Ashley, I'm Madison's sister."

我覺得她喜歡欸 喔 好喔 好喔 "嗨 我是Ashley 我是Madison的姊姊"

You're Madison's sister? I never would have guessed. You're way hotter than she is.

妳是Madison的姊姊? 我完全沒想到! 妳比她辣多了

"Aw thanks, that's really sweet."

"噢 謝謝 你嘴巴真甜"

"Thanks for making fun of my sister, I fucking hate that bitch." No sweat. No sweat. No sweat. Ah, no sweat.

"謝謝嘲笑我的妹妹 我他媽討厭她" 別流汗 別流汗 別流汗 啊 別流汗

"My stupid sister Madison spilled beer on me." Okay, what a bitch. Can you tone it down, all right?

"我白癡的妹妹Madison對我潑啤酒" OK 真是個bitch 妳可以正常點嗎?

Can you tone it the fuck down over there?

妳能他媽正常點嗎? XD

All right, so what do we do with her then?

好喔 所以我們要對她怎樣?

"Can I help you out with this beer accident?" Aww, you'd help me right now? I'm dripping wet. I need to-

"我可以幫妳報這個啤酒的仇嗎?" Aww 你真的要幫我嗎? 我要濕了 我需要..

Dripping wet, she's dripping wet. I'm outta water. Give me-

潑水.. 她濕了 我沒水了 給我..

Can you get me some goddamn water? I'm on it. I'm on it, Ashley. I'm on it, don't you worry. What the fuck is this?

你他媽的可以給我水嗎? 我加入了 我加入了 Ashley 我加入了 別擔心 WTF這是啥?

Is that a cat? Ah! All right, Madison, I'm on your quest.

這是一隻貓嗎? 阿 對 Madison 我做了妳要我做的

I met your sister.

我見到妳姊姊了

"She's up to something, I know it!"

"她打算要做什麼 我就知道!"

[Dramatic music]

[戲劇性音樂]

"Are you drunk?" No, w- oh, God.

"你喝醉了?" 沒 喔 天啊

"I'm straight-edge." I can't stand assholes who get drunk at parties. Okay. Does anyone want a pizza?

"我是正義魔人 我不能忍受有混蛋在party上喝ㄎㄧㄤ" 好喔 有人要pizza嗎?

Anyone want a pizza?

有人嗎?

Take it. Take it. Take that pizza. Come on, I know you swallow, you swallow. You want that-

拿著! 拿著 拿好這pizza 拜託 我知道你吞下去了 你吞了 你想要

God damn it, Frank you fucked up.

幹 Frank你搞砸了

You fucked up Frank. No, no, no, don't touch Patrick. No, no, no, don't touch Patrick! Patrick, run! Run Patrick! Oh, shi- aw

你搞砸了Frank! 不 不 不 別碰Patrick 不不不 不要碰Patrick! Patrick快逃啊 快逃啊 ! 喔 噢

shit, no! Patrick get up, get up. I'll get the pizza. I'll get the pizza, Patrick. I'll get the pizza.

幹 不 Patrick 起來 起來 我會拿pizza來 我會拿pizza來 Patrick 我會拿pizza來

It's going to be okay. Hang in there, buddy. Hang in there, buddy. I have the pizza. The pizza will solve, every problem.

一切都會沒事的 撐著點 夥伴 撐著點夥伴 我有Pizza pizza會解決一切的

Aw shit, Patrick, what are you doin'? Patrick fight! You got to fight g- you got to get up, get up. Got it!

喔幹 Patrick 你在幹嘛? Patrick 上啊! 你必須要回擊 你要起來 起來! 好

I got him.

我得到他了

Shit, shit, shit.

幹 幹 幹

Aw sh-

噢 幹

Oh my God, he's gonna f- stop! Stop fighting! Stop this.

OMG 他真的要 幹 停 停 不要打了 停止!

Oh my God, not in the pizza.

我的天 不要在pizza裡

Holy shit, he got punched.

哇幹 他被打中了

Oh my God.

OMG

What is that face? Close your fuckin' mouth. What is wrong with you?

那臉是怎樣? 閉上你他媽的嘴 你有事嗎?

Stop. St- [Laughs]

停! 停...[LOL]

Stop, please stop making that face. You're scaring me. You're scaring the chil- Oh my God.

停! 拜託停止做那個臉 你嚇到我了 你嚇到我了 OMG..

K.O. I think he's dead, he died on a plant. Rest in plant. Rest in plant, Patrick.

K.O. 我覺得他死了 他死在這個植物上了 安息吧 安息在這裡吧 Patrick

Here, have a pizza. Have a pizza, think about what you do- there we go. Okay, I saw Frank checking out your ass

這裡 給你pizza 拿塊pizza 想想你要怎麼做 好 OK "我看到Frank在打量你的屁股

Oh, wait. That was me.

噢等等 其實是我"

Yeah! "Oh stop it. Haha. You're funny."

YEAH! "喔停止 HAHA 你很好笑"

Good one! Good one! If it's any consolation, wet clothes and all, you're still adorable.

好的！ 好的！ 如果有任何安慰 濕衣服和其他什麼的要我幫忙的.. 妳仍然可愛

No sweat. No sweat. No sweat. No sweat. "Any luck finding me a way to dry off?"

別流汗 別流汗 別流汗 別流汗 "你知道我要去哪邊弄乾嗎?"

What if we give her the towel?

來看看我們給她毛巾會怎樣?

"Perfect! Thanks! But these clothes still smell really bad."

"太棒了!謝謝!但這些衣服還是聞起來很臭"

Okay, I could wash them.

OK 我可以洗它們

"You'd do that for me?"

"你願意為我做嗎?"

"I'm not sure if I can trust you with that, what can I do?"

"我不確定我能不能相信你" "我能做什麼?"

Bring me

帶給我

Madison's diary.

Madison的日記

Challenge accepted.

接受挑戰

I can lay down on bed?

我可以躺在床上?

Excellent, good game.

狂 太狂了這遊戲

"Remove shirt." Oh yeah!

[脫掉衣服] 喔耶!

[Background laughter]

[背景笑聲]

Hey, don't laugh! What are you- don't laugh! Don't clap like that, please!

Hey 別笑! 妳在幹嘛 別笑! 別那樣拍手 拜託!

Oh my God, she took my fuckin' spot. What is wrong with you? "Lay down." Great, great I can't see her.

OMG 她占了我的位子 妳有什麼毛病? "躺下" 好 好 我看不到她了

Hey, you look-

Hey 你看起來..

"Remove boxers."

"脫掉四角褲"

"Remove pants." Woah!

"脫掉褲子" 哇喔

Woah!

哇喔

Woah.

哇喔

No, no, no.

不 不 不

Put on your goddamn pants! Put on, God damn it, God damn it, put on the pants. "Put on pants."

把你他媽的褲子穿上! 穿上! 幹 幹 穿上啦 幹 "穿上褲子"

What the fuck am I looking at? What the fuck? God damn it. Oh it's r-

WTF 我在看啥? WTF 幹 喔 幹..

Thank you. Thank you.

謝謝 謝謝

Ooh, that was a close call. Oh, he's ok now.

喔 剛剛真的差一點 喔 他現在好了

He's back alive, great. All right, so without looking online, or or cheating, you have to pick this pen.

他又活過來了 棒喔 好喔 然後我沒有看攻略還是什麼的(?) 但其實你要拿這隻筆

Right? You have to get this pen. It's a really good game by the way. I'm really enjoying it. You have to get this paper.

對吧? 你要得到這隻筆 順帶一提 這真的是個好遊戲 我很喜歡 你要拿到這張紙

Uh-huh, okay, and then what you're supposed to do is, you put the-

嗯哼 OK 然後你應該這麼做 你把這放在..

You put the paper right fuckin' here, and then you put the pencil over it, and then you get the code

你把這個紙放在這裡 然後你放這個筆在這 然後你就得到密碼

to the fuckin' locker, and then you go here.

再用在這個他媽的櫃子上 然後你走到這

It's a good game by the way, it's really good.

這真的是個好遊戲 真的 真的

And then you put this, on this fuckin' lock. Great!

然後你用這個密碼 在這他媽的保險箱上 好!

"What in the actual fuck? That's my diary! I'm going to get Frank. You're dead motherfucker!"

"WTF? 這是我的日記! 我要去找Frank 你這他媽的王八蛋!"

No, no, we cannot let her go to Frank we cannot let her go to Frank w- fuck. Fuck.

不 不 我們不能讓她去找Frank 我們不能讓她去找Frank 幹 幹

Fuck! Don't get Frank. Don't get Frank. Madison! Ashley! Ashley, save me! Piece of shit.

幹 別找Frank 別找Frank Madison! Ashley! Ashley,救我! 媽ㄉ大便

Me and Frank are friends. Me and Frank are friends. We're friends. We're friends, God damn it. We're friends, you can't stop us.

我跟Frank是朋友 我跟Frank是朋友 我們是朋友 我們是朋友 幹他媽的 我們是朋友 妳不能阻止我們

You can't stop us Ashley, uou fuckin' whore. Frank, it's not true. It's not true

妳不能阻止我們Ashley 妳這她媽的婊子 Frank 這不是真的 這不是真的

Don't listen to her. Do not listen to her Frank. Do not listen. Don't look- Frank, look at me.

別聽她說 別聽她亂講 Frank 別聽她說 別看 Frank 看著我

I'm dead. Okay. Great. Frank, please, we can work this out.

我死定了 OK 讚 Frank 拜託 我們可以解決的

We can work this out Frank, we can work this out. It doesn't have to end like this Frank.

我們可以解決的 Frank 我們可以的 我們不需要這樣 Frank

You were like a father to me Frank.

你就像我爸一樣 Frank

You were supposed to be the chosen one.

你應該是被選擇的那一個

Okay, is he coming?

OK 他要來了?

[RPG battle music]

"RPG打鬥音樂"

Aw fuck. "Close," close, close the God damn door.

喔幹 "關起來" 關上 關上這智障門

Great, excellent. Just what I wanted. Please, I have a child.

棒喔 狂 完全是我要的 拜託 我是有小孩的TT

What? How the fuck did he go down? Got 'im.

啥? 他是他媽的怎麼倒下的?

Ow, fuck, he got me. Aw, come on.

喔幹 他抓到我了 喔 拜託喔

Come on. Am I going to have to replay everything?

拜託 我該不會要全部從頭開始吧?

God fucking damn it.

幹他媽ㄉ

God fucking damn it.

幹他媽ㄉ

[8-bit music]

2.6小時後...

Okay, so,

好喔 然後

It looks like we're alone here. Just give me your dress, and I'll get the washing machine. "Can you shut the door first?" Okay.

看起來只剩我們了 給我妳的裙子吧 然後我會找到洗衣機 "你可以先關門嗎?" 好喔

We're still in the hallway... Give me your clothes.

我們還在走廊上... 給我妳的衣服

"My pleasure." Oh my God! Oh my God!

"我的榮幸" OMG! OMG!

Oh my God! "Marzia Productions," is sponsoring this video. This is an ad, for "Marzia Productions."

OMG! "Marzia出品"是這個影片的贊助商 這影片其實是為了"Marzia出品"的廣告拍的

Okay, uh,

ok 呃

Your panties looks like they're soaked too. Uh, want me to throw them in the wash?

妳的內褲看起來也像濕了 呃 要我把他們丟進洗衣機嗎?

"Today's your lucky day." Score. No sweat. No sweat. No sweat. Okay, so we put her clothes in...

"今天是你的幸運日" 沒流汗 沒流汗 沒流汗 OK 所以 我們把她的衣服放進..

here.

這

Then,- oh she's naked. I forgo- okay.

然後 喔 她全裸了 我忘ㄌ OK.

Good job.

棒棒^^

Good job. Fuck off Ashley, you're a fucking bitch. You don't love her like I do.

棒棒 滾啦Ashley 妳這個臭Bitch 你沒有我那麼愛她

Hey crazy dance l- what that fuck is that move? Here, take a seat. Take a fuckin' seat. Take a seat right there.

Hey 瘋子舞..WTF 那是什麼動作 這裡 坐在這 給我她媽的坐在這! 坐這!

Oh, someone's liking it. [Groan]

喔 某人很喜歡喔A_A

Oh my God, it's finished! Yes! Let's give her, her clothes.

OMG 洗好了 好 我們拿去給她 她的衣服

Ha ha! Ha ha!

哈哈 哈哈

We did it, bros. High-five! Finally. Okay so what do you say? Pay me back for saving your life with a-

我們做到了Bros! 來擊掌吧! 終於啊 好 所以妳說什麼? "因為我解救了妳所以妳要獎勵我幫我吹..."

[Alert SFX]

O_O

[Metal Gear: Alert Theme]

OOOOOOOOO_OOOOOOOOO

Oh my God. Oh my God.

OMG. OMG 0.0

"Maybe if we go somewhere private." I guess that makes sense. Hey, pst. Hey, pst, here [whistles] come on.

"或許我們應該到一個隱密的地方" 好喔我覺得很有道理 欸 欸 Hey 欸 這裡 *吹口哨* 來喔

All right, now let's close the door. Close the door, all right.

好喔 現在我們把門關上 好了 關上了

[Clears throat]

*清痰*

And let's...

然後 讓我跟...

talk. All right, pay me back.

"說話" 喔好 給我獎勵

Fuck yeah.

FUCK YEAH.

[Romantic music]

*浪漫音樂

No, thanks, I'm saving myself for marriage. [Laughs] You dumb bitch! [Slap noise X2]

不了謝謝 我要在結婚前保持純潔 *LOL* 妳這個臭bitch!

How do I get out of this situation? I can't. I literally can't. What?

我要怎麼擺脫這個狀態? 我不能 我真的不能 什麼?

"End."

*按下結束*

Ha! Bitch, you got played! She got played! Got 'im.

哈 Bitch 你被我玩ㄌ 她被我玩了 整到妳了吧

[Romantic music] :D

*浪漫音樂* :D

This has been, my very first house party. Did you enjoy watching?

這就是 我的House Party初體驗 你有喜歡這個影片嗎?

If you did, leave a like.

如果你喜歡 記得幫我按喜歡

Uh, why don't you go ahead and leave two likes? Just to- as a social experiment.

喔對 你何不按兩次喜歡好了? 這只是一個小小的社會實驗

And see what happens. Have you ever been to a house party?

然後我們來看看會發生什麼事 你有去過別人家的party嗎?

Do you have any fun stories to share? Please leave a comment down below, and

你有任何好笑的故事可以分享嗎? 你可以留言在下面 然後,

save yourself for marriage.

結婚前別有性行為,好嗎?