For me to lend my infinite, perfect wisdom

是時候借用我無窮,完美的智慧了

on this planet.

這個世界 (΄◞ิ౪◟ิ‵)

Either.io, the game of would you rather?

Either.io,一個選出你會選擇...?的遊戲

That's right. We're doing another episode of this

沒綽 我們要做另一集這個了

on my own free will

這是我自願的

not because I saw someo- some other youtuber

絕不是因為我看到其 其他youtuber

recently make a video about it

近期在做這個影片喔

And I'm like

我只是像

"Yeah those used to get pretty good views.

"對阿那種總是會得到蠻多觀看數的

Maybe I'll make another one of those"

也許我可以再做一集"

But you should be thanking me

但你應該感激我

Okay?

好嗎?

My morals are absolutely perfect

我的決定都是絕對讚的

Okay, let's begin this stupid game. Okay

好了我們來玩這蠢遊戲吧

Would you rather become a superhero or become a supervillain. To be fair,

你會選擇當個超級英雄還是當個超級惡棍?

there's no cool supervillain. There's very few of them. They always make them so lame

公平的說,沒有那種很酷的超級惡棍阿 真的超少的 他們看起來總是很智障

I think that's the problem with superhero movies these days. Is just the villains are so lackluster. Back in the day, you know Joker, Bane

我想應該是近期超級英雄電影的問題 惡棍們整個沒戲 以前 你知道的小丑阿 班恩阿

Badasses, you know, what are they now?

混蛋,你懂吧 他們現在怎樣了?

Sergeant birdman

軍官鳥人

sergeant

軍官

squad Fam Bird

Fam鳥小隊

Turtle man

龜人

cat killer

貓殺手

Nah, I'll become a superhero, easy. Moving on

不了,我會當超級英雄,簡單 繼續吧

oh and please do

喔還有請

Leave your comments and thoughts in the comments in the comment section.

在留言區留下你的評論和意見呦

Would you rather be able to fly or be able to breathe underwater?

你會選擇可以飛或是可以在水面下呼吸?

What do you think I'm some sort of fucking fish? Do I look like a fish to you? If I can fly,

你是覺得我他馬像魚嗎?對你來說我像條魚嗎?

then that means no effort, okay?

如果選可以飛的話我會沒力氣好嗎?

At least that's how I look at flying. If i- flying means I have to do this all the fucking time, then nah, fam

至少這是我這樣看待飛行的 在飛的時候我必須他馬無時無刻都做這個動作ㄟ

I don't want to fly. Okay, I'll take the breathing underwater

謝謝免了 我不想要飛好嗎 我要選可以在水下呼吸

I'll take the option where I don't have to put any effort, but if flying just means "Hey, I would like to go there" *Bzzz*

我要選那個不用出任何力的選項 但如果選飛可以變成"嘿,我想去那裡" *瞬移*

I'll take it. Thank you. Easy!

我才會選吧 謝謝,甘丹啦

Can you get me some tiff- difficult questions please? This is too easy.

可以給我一些更ㄎㄨㄣ...困難的題目嗎? 這太甘丹了

Would you rather never be able to make a compliment?

你會選擇永遠無法稱讚別人?

*thinks*

*思考*

This is the easiest one I ever heard

我是我聽過最簡單的了

Why would I want to make a compliment? I'm trying to wrap my head around- never be able to compliment

為啥我會想稱讚人家呢 我實在想不透ㄟ-永遠不能稱讚人

*thinks again*

*再度思考*

That.. supposed to be a bad thing? I don't.. Or never be able to complain. Well I think the choice is pretty obvious

那個....會是不好的事嗎?我不....還是永遠不能抱怨 恩我覺得選擇很明選吧

*laugh*

*笑*

What?!

蝦咪阿?!?!?!?!

*surprised*

*驚訝死*

What?!

蝦咪?!

What are you, pussy boys?! 77% don't want to complain?! What are you, fucking b-b-g

你們這些小孬孬 77%選了不能抱怨?! 你們這些大-大-

Gay? You never want to complain? Okay well then you can't complain about this: you're a little bitch. How about that

GAY?你永遠不想抱怨嗎? 好吧那你不能抱怨這個 妳這小婊子 安抓阿

Are you going to complain about it? You can't

你要抱怨了嗎? 哩美賽啦 ʅ（´◔౪◔）ʃ

Jesus Christ

老天鵝阿

Would you rather never have sex again or never learn anything new?

你會選擇永遠不做愛還是永遠不學新事物?

Well again, the choice is obvious. Masturbation

恩又來囉,選擇超明選吧 尻尻阿

Does that count as sex? I change my mind. I change my miiiiind!

那也算是做愛嗎? 我改變心意了 我改變心意了~~~~~!

Fuck you. Would you rather be visited by Ancient Aliens or

去你的勒 你會選擇被古外星人邀請還是

by mole p- what the fuck is mole people?

被ㄕㄨ-鼠人是三小?

Is that even a question? That's-

那算是個問題嗎? 那-

*laughs*

*笑*

Great, great. That's like asking someone

好喔,太棒了 這就像問某人

"Hey,

"嘿,

would you rather meet the president or this homeless man?

你會選擇和總統還是流浪漢見面呢?"

I will be visited by the mole people.

我會選被鼠人邀請唷

The people living in our dirt and ground instead of the ancient aliens that can borrow u- that can borrow to us

就是住在我們的土和地下的人而不是可以借你- 可以借你古科技的外星人唷

Ancient technology, which y- could save humanity. No, thank you. I would like the mole people. I'll pick the mole people."

就是你可以救人類的那種 不謝了 我比較喜歡鼠人" 我要選鼠人

Would you rather be part of a real giraffe?

你會選擇當長頸鹿的一部分?

Would you rather be part of a real Jurassic park scenario or be part of a real day-after-tomorrow scenario?

你會選擇當一部分侏儸紀公園還是一部分明天過後的編劇?

Jurassic Park. It's like, "Would you like to be cold for a couple hours or would you like to be eaten by a badass dinosaur?"

侏儸紀公園 這就像是 "你會選擇受凍好幾小時還是被一隻混蛋恐龍吃掉"一樣

I'll- I'll take the dinosaur. Would you rather glue your eyes shut with Superglue or

我-我會選恐龍好嗎 你會選擇用強力膠把眼睛黏起來還是

spill hot glue over your naked lap? Easy

灑熱熔膠在你裸露的膝蓋? 簡單

Spill a hot glue over my naked lap. I've done it a couple times. It's a very sexually pleasuring experience

灑熱熔膠在我裸露的膝蓋 這個我做過好幾次了 那是個蠻性愉悅的經驗

I did it once by accident, and then I'm like, "Huh, that was pretty good." Would you rather live in a homeless shelter

我有次偶然弄到 然後我就像是"痾,那蠻棒的欸"

with internet acces

你會選擇住在有網路的街友收容所

Okay. Or live an amazing house isolated from any outside contact? Well, you didn't say that I can't have internet

好喔 還是住在一個與外界斷聯的超棒房子? 喔你沒說我不能有網路吧

Okay, you just said no outside contact. How amazing is this house?

喔你說與外面斷聯 這房子多棒阿?

You know? Does it have a bowling alley? Does it have a private helicopter?

你懂嗎? 是有保齡球道嗎?是有私人直升機嗎?

I- I- It's too vague. I'm gonna have to go with a homeless shelter. Well

這-這-範圍很模糊喔 我會去街友收容所

I guess you're all a bunch of fucking idiots, huh? 2% of you are a bunch of idiots

我猜你們都是群他馬的白癡喔,齁? 2%的你們都是白癡

Congratulations. You want to live without Pewdiepie videos? Is that what you're trying to tell me? Moving on.. would you rather kill someone? Yes

恭喜 你想要活在沒有Pewdiepie影片的地方嗎?你是想這樣告訴我嗎?繼續.....

Oh wait, maybe I should read the full thing. And have nobody know? Yes

你會選擇殺了人? 沒綽

or

喔等等,我應該要念完整個 然後沒人知道 是的

Not kill someone but have everyone think you did. I'll just fucking kill someone. What are you, stupid?

還是

I thought about this the other day, okay? People say, "I will never kill anyone" But I'm like

沒殺了人但大家都覺得你有 我會直接他馬的殺人阿 你是北七嗎?

"Mm-mm." No, I think everyone will kill someone. I think it's in our blood, okay? I think if

我有想過這個,好嗎? 人們說"我永遠不會殺任何人"但我就像是

If given the right circumstance, you would kill someone, okay? If there was a button in front of you, and it said, "Well,

"恩...恩..." 不,我想每個人都會殺人吧 我覺得這存在我們的血裡,好嗎? 我覺得如果

If you don't kill this guy, all the people in the world is going to die", okay?

如果在對的情況下,你也會殺人好嗎? 如果有個按鈕在你前面,然後它說

You would kill it. Anyone would kill with the right circumstance, okay?

"如果你不殺這個人,世界上所有的人都會死呦?"

So don't fucking bullshit me with that shit. "I wouldn't kill anyone." Yeah you would

你會殺的吧 在對的情況下任何人都會殺人的好嗎?

Okay, you would. You would

所以不要唬爛我 "我不會殺任何人" 屁啦你會的

I'd kill you for having shitty opinions.

你會的 你會的啦

Moving on,

我會因為你嘰嘰歪歪而殺你

would you rather fight the entire Smurf Village

繼續,

Or fight the full collection of Care Bears?

你會選擇和整個藍色小精靈村打架

What's a care bear?

還是和整套的彩虹熊熊打架?

Oh my God, yes

彩虹熊熊又是啥?

I would- I would not just fight them

喔買尬,讚啦

I would beat the shit out of them, and then when they're laying on the ground

我-我不會只是打他們吧

I would take down my pants. I would unzip my huge-

我會把他們打到挫屎,然後當他們都倒在地上的時候

Would you rather win an Oscar or win the Nobel Prize?

我會脫下我的褲子,我會解開我那很大的-(???????!)

Here's what the question is actually saying: would you rather

你會選擇贏得奧斯卡獎還是諾貝爾獎?

People look up to you and praise you and love you

這個問題其實是在說:你會選擇

*burp*

人們向你看齊 讚美你 然後愛死你

or

*嗝*

Would you actually like to help s- help society? Would you actually like to do something good for humankind? But most people probably

還是

wouldn't give a shit. *laugh*

你其實想幫助社會? 你會想對於人類做些好事嗎? 但大部分的人可能

Would you rather have to wear a full-body red leotard on your wedding day-

根本不會鳥這個吧 *笑*

but, that's what I was planning to wear

你會選擇在你婚禮那天要穿全身紅的連身衣-

Thank you very much.

但是我就是打算那樣穿的阿

So what's a red leotard?

謝謝你欸

Hell yeah. Can you imagine me in that? That looks sexy

所以 紅色連身衣是長怎樣?

or have to have the person you are marrying

每賣阿 你可以想像我穿那樣嗎? 看起來很辣欸

that day wear the full body red leotard?

還是讓你結婚的對象

So, Marzia in a sexy red leotard or me in a sexy red leotard?

在那天穿全紅的連身衣?

Uh, excuse me. Marzia, I will have the privilege of looking hot in our wedding day, okay?

所以,Marzia穿性感紅連身衣 或是 我穿性感紅連身衣?

Would you rather be best friends with Harry Potter or be best friends with Katniss Everdeen?

痾,抱歉Marzia 我有特權在我們婚禮上看起來很辣,好嗎?

Who the fuck is Katniss Everdeen?

你會選擇當哈利波特還是凱妮絲·艾佛汀的麻吉?

Oh my God, I don't want to be friends with any one of these fa-

凱妮絲·艾佛汀又是蝦郎啊?

I hated Jennifer Lawrence before it was cool

喔買蓋,我才不想和這些#$%@當朋友勒

Okay? Way before it was cool

我討厭珍妮佛勞倫斯 她以前比較酷

I saw through her obnoxiousness miles away. Her giant ego, her, (werid accent) "Oh look. I am le humble.

好嗎?酷太多了

I am a little drunk right now, guys. I might say something totally crazy!

從幾英里外我就可以看到這討厭鬼了 她很自大, 她 "喔看我很謙虛欸"

*laugh in a weird way*

我有點醉了 我可能說了什麼很狂的話~!

I am Jennifer Lawrence

*怪笑*

Please, everybody, love me. Look how bootiful I am. Look how humble I am."

我是珍妮佛勞倫斯

Would you rather take a sizzling hot shower or an ice cold freezing shower?

霸脫,大家,愛我吧 看看窩多麼飄亮 看看我多謙虛

Well, I don't want permanent

你會選擇 洗個燙到脫皮的熱水澡還是洗個會冷到結冰的冷水澡?

bu- damage to my body

我不想要

So I'll take the ice cold one, because I'm a Swedish viking man and not a little pussy boy.

破壞我的玉體欸

"Ooh! It's a little cold"

所以我要選冷水澡,因為我是個瑞典維京人 不是小孬孬

Ooh! My balls went inside my body."

"嗚嗚!有點冷耶~!"

That's normal, okay?

"喔!我的蛋蛋縮回我身體裡了"

It's called masculinity.

這是正常的好嗎

Gets 2% of fucking bitches.

這叫男子氣概 (?)

How about that?

得到2%的小婊子

Congratulations.

怎樣阿

Would you rather slam your hand in every door or

恭喜喔

fall down every flight of stairs?

你會選擇手被每扇門夾到還是

I would rather die. How about that? Which one will most likely kill me? The stairs

摔下每階階梯?

I'll pick that one. Thank you.

我要選擇死亡。 怎麼樣阿?哪個可能會殺死我? 樓梯那個

Well I guess- I guess

我要選那個 謝謝

515,000 people are fucking idiots

我猜- 我猜

Goddamn it pisses me off. So you're not paying attention to my morals? You're picking the wrong-

515,000的人都是他馬的智障吧

You need help, you need guidance in your life

靠北真是嚇尿我了 所以你沒注意我的決定嗎? 你選到錯-

Stop making bad choices. Bad choices kill people.

你需要幫助,你需要人生的指引

Would you rather have a stylist do your hair and makeup every day or

不要再做壞選項了 壞選項會抬狼的

Have a fashionista pick a new outfit every day.

你會選擇有造型師每天幫你做頭髮和化妝還是

I don't like when people dress me

有時尚達人每天幫你配新衣服?

It was really fucking weird doing Scare Pewdiepie. We had a- she was very nice

我不喜歡別人打理我

But her job was to dress me, and I wasn't allowed to wear my own clothes

那真的靠北奇怪 嚇到我了 我們-她人很好啦

And it just really pissed me off because I'm like, "Oh, you don't want any form of authenticity

但她的工作就是要打理我,然後我不被允許穿自己的衣服

in this show? You just want me to look like a goddamn product that you guys built?"

那真的嚇尿我了因為我就像 "喔你們不想要我在節目裡看起來真實一點嗎?

I don't know why it bothers me so much, but

你們就想讓我看起來像你們塑造出來的靠北產品嗎?"

Hair- hair and makeup. Do my hair and makeup. I don't give a shit. Okay, well I guess

我不知道為啥這會讓我這麼生氣但

60% people are fucking wrong, okay?

頭髮-頭髮和化妝吧 幫我做頭髮和化妝我不想鳥了 喔我猜

Would you rather always wear Crocs or always wear socks with sandals?

60%的人都他馬錯了,好嗎?

Can I pick both? I love Crocs, okay?

你會選擇總是穿鱷魚鞋還是穿襪子配涼鞋?

Have you worn Crocs? Everyone hating on Crocs like it's a meme, like you can't think for yourself. "Oh Crocs are so ugly

我可以兩個都選嗎? 我愛鱷魚鞋欸

because that one meme

你有舊的鱷魚鞋嗎? 大家都因為這個梗而討厭它,就像你不能自我思考一樣

I saw online said it."

"喔因為那個梗我覺得鱷魚鞋醜爆了"

They're fucking comfortable as shit, and they say the exact same thing with sandals and socks, okay?

我看到網上這麼說的

"Oh, I know about them. You can't wear sandals and socks. (weird noises)"

它們穿起來真的靠北舒服, 精確來說和穿襪子配涼鞋是一樣的,好嗎?

I wear sandals and socks. It's comfortable as fuck. You can't stop me, okay?

"喔我知道那個 你不能穿襪子配涼鞋耶"

"Oh, you can't do it because someone else said that you can't do it (whiny noise)"

我穿襪子配涼鞋阿 超他馬舒服 你阻止不了我好嗎?

God damn, it pissed me off

"喔你不能那樣因為有人說你不能那樣@#$%........"

Fuck you. You can't think for that shit

靠腰真是嚇尿我了

You're not worthy of my fashion. You're not worthy of my morals. Fuck you. Leave a like on this video by the way. Appreciate it.

去你的你不能那樣想

Thank you so much. Leave a like if you like Crocs and leave a like if you like sandals. This has been, your boy, PewDiePie

你不值得感受我的時尚 我不值得我的決定 去你的 反正都給我讚這個影片 謝謝