to roast my facial hair

嗆我的鬍子,不是要拿來拍影片的

Roast my facial hair

我想說的是,你被騙啦!!!

not for a video

這就是拿來拍影片的,你被我耍了啦

I said. Well you've just been played! This is for a video! You've been tricked!

哈哈哈我偉大的巨魔史詩之一 你中計了(???

*LAUGHS* One of my great old epic trolls. You fell for it. You think I'm scared of your roasts?

你們以為我害怕你們嗆我嗎？

You think I'm scared? This is the most pristine,

你們以為我害怕嗎？

beautiful,

這是史上最原始,

silky

最美麗,

..th-thing ever.

最柔滑的,

and ain't nothing bad you can say about this.

嗯...的東西了

Oh, let's see what you guys are going to say: 'Oh, it looks like pubic hair, ooooooh.'

我相信你也說不出它不好的地方

You wish you could grow pubic hair like this!

喔那就讓我們來看看你們想說什麼吧

"Oh, It looks like someone killed a cat."

*模仿* "喔它看起來像懶毛嗚嗚嗚嗚嗚“

Whatever. Fuck off. Okay here we go. Let's read what you said!

你只是希望你能長出這樣的懶毛

Let's read what you said! Oh, I'm so scared.

“喔我看起來像某個殺了貓的人”

Number one: women respecter cam

隨便啦滾開好嗎? 來吧 看看你們都說了啥

Caveman.

來看看你們說了什麼, 喔我好怕怕喔

Oh no, he called me a caveman. Oh, look at the tears. They're just go- they're just so ..Caveman

尊重女性1號小隊

If it looks like I'm crying, it's because it's fake tears.

山頂洞人

'Did someone say Jesus?'

喔不,他叫我山頂洞人 喔看看那眼淚

*laughs*

他們都流進洞穴裡了 山頂洞人

Well, that's good to know! My beard looks like Jesus Christ!

如果我看起來像在哭,那是因為這眼淚是假的

I thought this was a roast!

是不是有人說像耶穌？

Jesus Christ the most attractive man in humankind? That's how my beard looks like? I'll take it.

嗯知道這點真棒,我的鬍子看起來像耶穌

Thank you. Oh look, we got Cr1TiKaL. It's actually him.

我認為他在嗆我

The real one. Except it's not verified so it's... dammit it's not him. Fuck.

耶穌是最有吸引力的男人好嗎

*reads*

我的鬍子看起來是這樣嗎?我接受

*silent* call me

感恩

*laugh* *reads*

喔看,Cr1TiKal來了,真的是他

*LAUGHS*

真的是他,但他沒有認證欸,所以他是-- 靠腰這是假的

*reads*.

幹

Oh look at that, the pubie jokes! Well done! Well Done! I say

髮絲似雪 鬍子似刺 我想知道 你什麼時候想做色色的事?

*High Voice* "It looks like pubic hair!"

*唇語* 打給我吧 (΄◞ิ౪◟ิ‵)

You couldn't grow pubic hair on your ass

“我不知道他什麼時候會做,但我知道它會被稱為兄弟拳”

Oh! here we go, Brad

"你是說姊妹拳?" "先生姊妹拳?" "兄弟拳傳奇?"

♪ I would have gve you all of my heart ♪

“好吧,但這些都是你的懶毛,所以我也喜歡"

♪ But there's someone who's torn it apart ♪

哦看看那個 是懶毛笑話

♪ And he's taken just all that I have ♪

做得好

♪ If you wanna try to love again ♪

我說 做得好

*song cuts off*

“它看起來像懶毛!"

That's just mean, man. Why would you? What are you implying here? These two gents have excellent facial hair!

你不能長懶毛在你的屁股上啊

Okay?

好吧我們開始吧 Brad

'A quick roast you ask? A quick diss track you receive.'

[音樂--The First Cut Is The Deepest *最初的傷我最深* ]

Oh, hey look it's the cat comment! Sorry, limp biscuit! (Myth Crypt).

這是我,老兄,你為啥要--

I'm sorry, I didn't know you were still alive,

你在暗示什麼

limp dicknis bitch. Fuck you. Oh, okay

這兩個紳士都有優良的鬍子

I see. All right, all right. You you're drawing the- the- the island. He's lost in an island comparison

好嗎?

Give Tom Hanks a nice outfit,

“你要求的饒舌嗆聲?你得到了“

You know suit him up, do his hair. He'd look fucking poppin' and you know it.

[rap]

'Ouch.. don't roast facial hair man, use a razor'

哦嘿你看,這是貓的評論

Can I die now?

拍謝,軟腳蝦

Oh here it is: 'u mean ur pubic hair on ur face?'

我,拍謝,我不知道你還活著

Hahahaha! I hear that!

軟

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

軟軟又沒屌

Pubic hair on the fa- *hysterical laughter*

軟軟又沒屌的小婊雜

I can't roast what's already been burnt

去你的

*reads*

喔好吧,我明白了。

Listen here

好吧,你正在畫一個

Listen here you, waman?

在島上迷路的人

Just because you're a whaman, I'm gonna go easy on you, but you

痾 比起這個

I Bet if you could grow a beard

請給湯姆漢克斯一套好看點的衣服，好嗎？

*mutters* You would look like a little bitch

好好打扮他幫他做頭髮,他就會看起來潮到出水,你會懂的

Is Keemstar trying to roast my beard? Keemstar, I thought you were better than this. 'I have a pretty bad one

哎喲

I could say but I think it's best if I shave it'

不要只會嗆人家的鬍子,老兄用用剃刀啊

Oh I get it

我現在可以死嗎?

No, that was my genuine reaction there.

哦就是這種,“你是說你臉上的懶毛嗎?”

I get it.

哈哈哈哈哈

'It looked like something I'd used to scrub the shit of my toi...' uuuh i- that's mean

我聽到了哈哈哈哈哈哈

*reads in mocking voice*

啊哈

*Turbo and wastegate noise* fuck up

Pewd-我們得到了所有的 *詭異笑聲*

'Bro, it looks like it could be its own person'

已經被燒毀的東西我也不好嗆什麼了

It's actually kind of cute

*柔和嗓音* 聽好了

You made... You make out with that fucking sexy ass son of a bitch

妳這雜某聽好了

Let's get real here for a second. This is not a roast. This is a lift me up, baby, cuz you-- I'm so sexy

就是因為妳是個雜某,我得對妳客氣點,但妳

Oh my God, that's disgusting 'Grow it a bit more and try this' what the fuck?

我打賭,如果妳能長出鬍子

Is he eating Ramen

*柔和嗓音* 妳絕對會看起來像個小婊雜

noodles out of his

[ 賣啦 這太近了(ι´Дン)ノ ]

Okay, did you just swap?

Keemstar想試著嗆我的鬍子?

*laughs*

Keemstar,我還以為妳人很好

What the fuck? It looks so weird

“我的鬍子就灰藏糟糕,但我想說,能剃掉當然是最好的”

ha ha

哦,我明白了

Jesus Christ

不,那是我真實的反應。 嘿,我明白了

Please don't ever do that again

“它看上去有點像我會用來刷馬桶大便的-----”

*reads*

現在，這只是想說

*weird merrr noise*

*模仿* “看起來把懶毛黏到你的下巴上呢”

*reads*

*嘲諷笑* “的確呢!”

buuh

給我他媽媽媽媽的惦惦

Listen. I ain't balding. Do you see this hairline? Okay? Do you see this perfect fucking hairline? It's

“Bruh,它看起來像個人”

Stronger than a strongest Swedish viking, okay?

它其實有點可愛

Fuck you, man, okay? Ain't no insecurities here. Hah!

你可能不 - 你做不出那麼性感的東西啦小婊子

perfect hair perfect

讓我們再說清楚講明白一次,這個不是在嗆我吧

facial hair perfect facial features a goddamn godlike

這是在抬舉我吧寶貝因為你---我太辣了沒辦法

Complex, thank you. Thank you. What the fuck is this

噢老天鵝啊 這太噁了

Girlfriend Magazine 'Pewdiepie doesn't look like this anymore.'

“讓鬍子長長一點然後試試這個" 三小啊?

Don't jump on the hate on the beard train not girlfriend magazine

他在吃拉麵嗎---

Okay, so they they they picked some of the best roasts?

麵從他的----

Cavemen

好喔

Wolverine and

你只是把它交換嗎?

Wolverine

三小啊 這也太怪了吧

Some fine journalism there

*笑*

Oh, look, Brad your fee-- your feature on Girlfriend Magazine, Brad, congrats. A new high for you brad congrats

老天鵝勒

Well done, Brad. Well done.

請不要在那樣做了

Thank you

“Felix你不應該戴著刺蝟的”

God damn it. God fucking dammit. I guess me and fucking Brad Pitt had the same God-awful

(ﾒﾟДﾟ)ﾒ

What the fuck? God daMN IT!

你的臉弄顛倒了嗎？靠北喔你下巴的毛比頭上的毛還多"

No, Felix, don't listen to them, your beard is beautiful.

ಠ_ಠ

That's better

聽著 我沒禿,你有看到這髮際線嗎?有嗎?

Fuckin' hell. That's disgusting. Can someone photoshop away the eyebrows of that?

你有看到這條他馬完美的髮際線嗎?

*reads*

它比最屌的瑞典維京人還屌 好嗎?

Wow, what a well-constructed roast. Really-- really hit the nail on that one

*低語* 去你的 老兄,才沒禿好嗎？

*reads*

這裡沒有不安全感,哈

liked by Ecosia. 'the search engine that plants trees'

完美的頭髮

Is this all you got? I literally scroll to the bottom, ok, yeah?

完美的鬍子

Wow, incredible

完美的五官

That's all you had?

一個天殺的媲美神的複雜樣

Nothing about how it can't connect?

謝謝 謝謝

Nothing about how there's no growth here whatsoever?

這又是三小?

Nothing about how there's ginger bits in there?

女友雜誌？ “Pewdiepie不長這個樣子了”

I have ginger in my DNA

不要恨我的鬍子,不要是女友雜誌

I discovered it now!

好喔 所以他們 他們 他們選了一些最棒的嗆聲留言?

But the beard is staying. That's right. I don't care what your little teenage sons of bitches think

嗯哼 山頂洞人

It's beautiful.

金剛狼和痾...

And the more y'all hate on it the more it grows

金剛狼

for every shit-post saying

真是一些好新聞喔

'Pewds, please shave'

喔看 Brad,你被女友雜誌選上啦, Brad恭喜喔

it grows another centimeter

真為你高興 恭喜喔

So keep them coming kids cuz I ain't afraid I'm not insecure about your bullshit

幹得好 Brad幹得好

May have failed last time

謝謝

I may have given in to the pressure of shaving and that was only because I was literally fucking kidnapped

*掌聲及歡呼*

It was against my free will

靠腰喔馬的 我想我和他媽的布拉德皮特有一樣可怕的------

[video]For four months.

哈哈三小啊

Oh my God, that beard did not look good. Is it longer now?

靠腰喔喔喔

Must have more testosterone this time around

不 Felix不要聽他們的 你的鬍子很漂漂

He just added this video just to hit 10 minutes

“那樣好多了"

What a pathetic person

靠北,那太噁了 來人把那眉毛P走好嗎?

(video) It is me

“我看過最醜的屎”

Odin,

哇,多麼構建良好的嗆聲...真的 真的一針見血

I cannot let you do this Felix

砍伐森林是一個嚴重的問題

I have watched you look like a little bitch for 26 long years

Ecosia喜歡這個

Look at this face

“一個種樹的搜尋引擎”

It's pathetic

你就只有這點本事嗎?

Do not listen to your fans PewDiePie, half of them are clearly retarded [Felix]*repeats*

我真的思考人生很久,好喔

I'm fuckin' PewDiePie

哇真不可思議

I do what I want. I got the most subscribers

你們就這樣而已嗎?沒人問到關於它怎麼連不起來的問題?

I'm gonna shave.

沒人問到關於這怎麼長不長的問題？

Fine

沒人問到關於為啥有薑在裡面的問題？

If you shave, I'll make it so that Marzia

我的DNA裡有薑

won't

我現在發現了它

Felix Pewds: I'm surprised Wall Street didn't pick up on this, to be honest

但鬍子還是在

No one noticed this one?

沒有綽！

Nein!!

我和你們這些十幾歲的小婊雜想的不一樣

Jesus Christ

明明這麼漂漂

When was this?

而你們越討厭它,他就越長越長

June 2016

每多一個屎貼文

Okay, let's end the video here. Thank you SisterFisters. You can keep them coming

“Pewds,拜託刮鬍子吧!”

Shave supporters, Non-shave supporters, let me know what in the comments down below.

它就會多長1公分

What do you think? What are your thoughts and comments?

所以儘管放馬過來吧 孩子

They will have no impact on my life and this choice- the decisions whatsoever.

因為我也不怕

Leave a like if you want me to shave and leave a like if you want me to not shave.

我才不管你們工欸肖崴

Thank you guys so much

我可能上次失策了

And I'll see your sisters *smooch* in another fister.

我可能敗在大家要我剃鬍子的壓力下