- Might be a little dirt on there.

- Ahh.

(trumpet playing)

- I have no fucking clue why I'm here, but I'm here for it.

- I'm feeling very vulnerable right now.

- We are swabbing different employee's phones.

For germs.

(mystery music)

- oh no, oh no, is that what this is?

Oh no.

(cries)

- Caroline, why do you have that lab coat?

Oh no.

- Oh God.

- Oh my gosh.

- Hello.

- Hi.

(laughter)

- Here's my poop phone.

- Yeah, it's very scary.

I don't know why I'm so nervous.

- You look so scared.

- This reminds me, I have to get tested.

- There's no result that's gonna come back

where I'm gonna be like happy about it.

You know what I mean?

- Hopefully nothing comes back

and they link me to some murder.

- I'm gonna take the samples up to

the microbiology lab at Columbia University.

- I hope no one I ever try to date sees this video.

- This thing is gonna be a huge mess.

But I love it anyway.

(upbeat music)

- So, I spent all day yesterday at the lab,

looking at the petri dishes with the doctor.

We have a picture of what your petri dish looked like

three days later.

- I don't even wanna touch the picture.

- Woah, it looks like an eye is growing.

- I don't think it looks that bad.

- You're good.

Your phone is really fine.

- Weird, 'cause I feel like I'm a disgusting person.

- You had micrococcus, which is a normal...

You look so scared.

It's part of the normal skin for us,

which is from your skin.

- Okay.

- You, had MRSA.

- Oh no.

- Like it's normal.

It can actually colonize in your nose

and you just have it

on your body and it's just,

there's a lot of people that carry MRSA.

- Okay.

- We also found E. Coli.

- Yeah, that's not a surprise to me at all.

I ended up throwing up one night

and I ended up going to the doctor.

And they were like yeah, we tested you and you have E. Coli.

- I don't know why it's still on my phone.

I feel like I've cleaned it since I got sick.

- So today, we were supposed to film Grace

getting her results and she's actually home sick.

Maybe it's related, who knows?

But here petri dish did look really gross though.

- So my phone had Staph, glorious.

(grossed out laugh)

I had the bad Staph bacteria.

So, yeah.

I had one of the worst phones.

- I mean I had a cleaner phone than

the doctor right here.

So I feel really good about myself.

- So how should I really clean my phone?

- Yeah please clean my phone.

- This is a 50, 50.

Water and 70 percent isopropyl alcohol solution.

- Yeah, I'll definitely clean my phone more.

I don't want E. Coli all over everything that I touch.

- Wait, she's not a doctor?

(coughs)

- Oh no.

(orchestra music)