我是如何愛上我的同事的？ (How I Fell In Love With My Coworker)

字幕列表影片播放

- Everybody in the office thinks
that we have like, crushes on each other.
- Everyone in the comments on the videos too.
I don't have feelings for Merle.
(intense drum beat)
You wanted to be single for a long time,
and I didn't wanna cross a line between
coworker and--
- No.
No.
No.
I had rules.
And the rules were, I need to be single for a year.
- Yeah, and my rule--
- And no your rule was I'm going to marry
this woman someday and I will do anything
in my power to make it happen.
(pensive music)
At the beginning of 2019 I was coming out of
a three and a half year relationship.
I was about to embark on this huge journey
from the BuzzFeed office in New York
where I had been for three years,
to the BuzzFeed office in L.A.
Moving to L.A. was like immersing
myself in everything new, my family's not here,
all my friends I've had forever aren't here.
One friend I had here with me
that was a saving grace is Rachel.
- Merle coming out to L.A., newly single.
The best way I could describe it
is she was like an unbridled stallion.
She just was goin' out on the weekdays, living it up.
She was kind of like in a new City,
she just wanted to be meeting new people,
going to new places, and not getting involved
in anything serious.
That was like, the farthest thing from her mind.
- Before Merle came along my dating life
was quite eclectic.
I was either not making myself available to people,
or I was just throwing myself
at people who were clearly not compatible for me.
- It wasn't clear to me at first,
that he was desperate to find love.
Until he started making projects
over and over again about finding love.
And people around the office wondered
why is he using the companies resources to find love?
- When I watched Aria date a couple people,
it was clear that he was very romantic,
and loving, and giving.
But it never like sparked.
- So, after having dabbled in the dating world for a bit,
at the start of last year,
I decided to just focus my energy on a personal challenge.
And if you haven't seen, or haven't heard
me talk about it a hundred times in previous videos,
I trained and fought in an MMA fight last year.
But then of course during this period,
is when Merle strolled into the BuzzFeed office here in L.A.
(pensive music)
- When I moved to the L.A. office we had a weekly meeting.
My whole video team would come together.
- The only first interactions we had
were in the team meetings, the team check-ins.
- Yeah, and this man would be flustered,
huffing in and out of the meeting, hi.
- I had training.
- Oh sorry gotta go I'm gonna be late.
Oh I can't even make it.
Or you'd just write in the group message
and be like, "Sorry I had another training today,
"it was the only day I could do it."
And I remember thinking, he's a liar.
He just doesn't wanna go to this meeting.
I just thought he like, this really aloof,
too self involved, egomaniac.
Which also, not totally incorrect.
- She saw how cute I was at a few of the meetings,
and so she wanted to see more of it
so she was very upset and disappointed.
- I did think he was cute.
- Slowly, you know, we'd message each other
over Slack, our in company messaging system.
Merle couldn't get enough of me at the meetings.
- No. - She wanted to see more.
So she messaged me over Slack.
- He's a good producer so I wanted some help.
- [Aria] At first it was more about work stuff
but then slowly we'd throw in some
banter every now and then.
And there was some clear, at least digital
chemistry between us both.
- Then I dropped a casual suggestion,
"Maybe you wanna come sit with the team."
And this man came up and then became
a permanent installment.
- Wasn't entirely because of you.
Because Megan went on sick leave.
- Me and Aria used to sit together
on this one couch, away from our desks.
I left to have a surgery done,
so I was out of work for like a month.
And during that time, because I wasn't there,
Aria chose to go sit at his regular desk.
And that's where Merle sits.
And so really, I brought them together.
- So then we enter the phase of Merle and Aria
talking 12 hours every day, all day.
(pensive music)
- I sit right next to them,
and I watched this flirtation blossom.
And it was pretty adorable, but also annoying.
- And it was just like.
(snapping hands together)
All, day, long.
- It was so easy to just like,
talk about genuinely any topic.
We would joke about murder, horror films,
it just seemed like we had a lot in common.
- First time I really saw the tension
between Aria and Merle was when
Aria and I were filming the follow up video
to his MMA video where we kinda talked
about the behind the scenes, and (beep).
They were so flirty.
- Jack was seeing a lot of sparks between us,
no idea what he saw, he's a bit of a perv.
(laughs)
You are.
- Kick rocks, (beep).
At that point I was like, they're gonna date.
Like I'd never seen Aria act like that.
- This interview ended with a hug that I thought
would end any romantic interactions between us.
(laughs)
- I remember hugging each of the interviewees
after their interview.
And so I said to Merle, you know--
(beep)
It's something kinda weird.
Because I had both of them here,
and I hugged both of them afterwards.
- So I have to hug you?
(laughing)
I don't think I've ever hugged you before.
- I don't think we've hugged each other before.
- Let's get this awkward moment in history.
I'm like okay, here's your hug.
And I go to hug this man and he clings onto me
for dear life like moss.
Jesus Christ.
- Wow you smell like--
- You got a little hand hold.
(laughing)
You practically choked me out.
- Behind the camera I was just like--
'Cause it was just so like, tense between the two.
You could tell that they had the hots for each other.
And I even told Aria as soon as we finished that video,
I was like, "What's goin' between you two?"
And he denied it, he's like,
"Yo, no."
Like, "We're just friends."
- I remember I told Jack,
"She's a coworker, I, you know, I won't do that."
- I don't believe that.
(laughing)
I don't believe that at all.
You were probably like, "Really?
"Was she blushing?"
(laughing)
"Let's look at the footage again."
(laughing)
- And I was like, "Do you guys hang out?"
He's like, "Yeah, sometimes we'll stay late
"at work together 'til like 10 PM."
I'm like--
(pensive music)
- I stay really late sometimes,
when there's a lot of work and I started realizing
that Merle and Aria were also staying late.
- They would work late.
And it would actually just be them
hanging out until like 11 PM.
And maybe getting like, 30 minutes worth of work done.
- These after hour hangouts kind of,
now that I look back at them, were basically pseudo-dates.
- I remember those nights,
there were like these brief periods
where it felt like time froze, and it was just us,
in the office enjoying each others company.
And, it was wonderful.
I've never openly and actively pursued
someone the way I did with you.
And it was because we were just so open
about the fact we were flirting with each other.
(laughs)
- I remember openly addressing the fact
that we flirted with each other,
and Aria was like shocked by that.
First I told him that I think he flirts with everyone.
- I don't think I'm that much of a flirt.
- Aria is a (beep) whore.
- I, at one point was like,
"Well me and you flirt all the time."
And he was kinda like, oh my god, yeah I guess so.
And so I feel like that sort of
transitioned us into this newfangled territory
where it was like okay we're openly flirting
with each other.
Obviously we're interested in each other,
but I was still genuinely dead set on doing my own thing,
not getting involved with anyone.
But Aria, he was obviously pursuing me.
- I realized that Aria had an infatuation
with Merle when they showed up
on set for a video that I was ADing.
They were awful together, to be around.
Like Aria's got a type of energy just in general.
Which you can kind of find the frequency
and understand it.
But it was off the charts around her.
Annoying, in fact.
And I'm not afraid to say that.
- There were rumors flying all over the office,
and the internet, that Aria and I were together.
- I kept seeing them together around the office,
and I was like oh my God I think they're a thing.
- From my desk, I really see everything.
If there's a love beginning, I usually know.
And I'm just saying, I saw a lot.
- I feel like I was able to really hone in
on Aria and Merle's relationship,
because I met my fiancee at work
and it was just the same exact thing
was happening in front of my eyes.
- I messaged Aria and said, basically,
"You guys are a thing, it's obvious, everybody knows."
He says something like,
"Oh we're just two professional coworkers."
And then I told him that that's exactly
how my girlfriend Cedee and I talked, six years ago.
(laughing)
- One of the big days where I realized
how special you were to me.
- When you fell in love with me first?
- No, when I realized how special you are.
It was the day we went and filmed
that road trip video with Jack.
- Boy, I was third wheelin' hard.
There were so many times where they would like,
look at each other and smile.
And like, they would laugh at like,
jokes that didn't even make sense,
or I didn't even understand.
I fully knew that they would date,
and get married, and have kids.
(laughs)
- We never spent a prolonged period of time
outside of the office together,
so I thought, you know, what if it's awkward
after a little bit?
- [Merle] It wasn't awkward, it was really fun and easy.
- A lot of fun, and you shouted with me in public.
(both shouting)
- All of the yelling and screaming
and this is my world that Aria does--
- This is my world.
- Sometimes I think it's really funny,
and sometimes it makes people really uncomfortable.
But Merle is like the only person
who really loves it.
You know that thing they say about
when you love someone you love them for their flaws?
(slaps hand)
- One of my favorite things that Aria said to Merle,
he said to her, "Merle, you just moved to L.A.,
"you're in season one, you have to go around and date.
"I'm your season three guy."
And I just thought that was so cute,
and so funny and I was like,
"Oh my god, like Merle I love him."
But Merle was still dating.
And she was not thinking of Aria that way.
- My first initial reaction
to the thought of me and Aria romantically,
was like, overwhelmed.
It was mostly because I was in a phase
where I wanted only casual relationships.
I didn't want a long term, serious relationship.
And Aria is not a casual guy.
I thought it was like an all or nothing type situation.
Everybody was whispering in Aria's ear,
asking him all the time, like has anything happened?
Is anything going on with you and Merle?
Meanwhile, I'm catching hints of this.
Sorry, you had something.
- One time, me and Merle and Megan
went out for dinner.
We asked her, "Merle, what's the tea?
"Do you like Aria?"
She said, "He's cute, but I wouldn't date him."
(pensive music)
And look at that (beep) now.
- I just didn't like it, it put too much pressure.
- Mhm, I get that. - It stressed me out.
And it was really public,
like people on the internet I've never even met
were like saying things in all the comments
in any videos we were in together
which can be nice but at the time was overwhelming.
- Yeah, we love it now.
- Yeah now we're all about it.
(laughing)
- Get those follows, baby.
(laughing)
But of course, all fun things have to come to and end.
And--
- This man threw a temper tantrum.
- I did not throw a temper tantrum.
- Finally one night, we were working late
and he said to me, "I don't think I can keep doing this."
- Because, you know it's just not gonna be good
for me, you know, you know.
It just wasn't gonna be good for me.
- I guess I was caught a little off guard,
but I kind of agreed with him,
and I was like, "Yeah that seems fair,
"because I don't wanna lead you on.
"And I'm not ready for something serious,
"and clearly you are."
And actually I was starting to be a little sad,
I was like damn, are we just not gonna talk anymore?
It was like,
very upsetting to imagine that our conversation
and the time we spent together was gonna go away.
(calm music)
- But then of course the timing worked out,
because the next week I was in Europe.
The trip to Europe, was I think,
honestly a big turning point for things.
Because it gave me kind of, space to reflect.
- Although he still managed to maintain
contact with me by having me be involved
with his video that he was doing.
- And of course I did have one of my best friends
Jo with me.
Jo and I would just eat and drink
around the streets of Italy.
And I would just talk about this woman non stop.
- The whole time?
- Most of the time yeah.
- Awe.
- Jo gave me very, very, very good advice.
Jo told me, you know--
- Slow things down a little bit,
be there for her, be her friend.
Don't be too pushy or try to make things happen.
If it'll happen, it'll happen.
- And I genuinely took that to heart,
I didn't take it as a strategy.
So when I came back, I--
- A new man.
- A new man, a tanned man.
- First of all a tanned man
that I didn't recognize when I first saw you.
He's very tan and he has a new sense of calm.
- And I told her, I said,
"Hey, I'm sorry if I put any pressure on you.
"I really just wanna take things day by day.
"And whatever happens, happens."
And that was genuinely my mindset.
- Turns out that's the most attractive
thing you could possibly do.
(laughing)
It was like he was like this new person,
super mature, and he was just like,
"We'll just do things at our own pace, no pressure.
"No worries."
And I really liked that.
Once he was back and I felt like I had space and time
I feel like I had a clarity to kinda
just like look at what was actually happening,
instead of looking at what other people
were expecting to happen.
I was like there's no pressure.
- Like the old days.
- Maybe something will happen, maybe it won't.
(cheerful music)
I was going on a lot of dates,
I was starting to get frustrated
because the people I was meeting
couldn't really compete both in conversational ways
but also just intellectual ways with Aria.
I had like this moment where I freaked out,
and I went to Rachel's place.
- And she was like, "Rachel I went on a date last night,
"and I just couldn't stop thinking about Aria.
"Like I couldn't stop comparing the guy to Aria.
"Nobody makes me laugh the way Aria does,
"nobody gets me the way he does."
I had never heard her talk about someone this way,
and I was like whoa, like where is this coming from
but also, it sounds to me like you really like him dude.
- So then, one night at the office we were staying late.
We were talking about everything under the sun
and I broached a topic about--
- Sexuality.
- Sexuality and things about sex.
After we had this conversation,
Aria had made this eye contact with me.
And he just held it for an uncommonly long time.
And I swear to God I've never
experienced anything like this in my life.
I felt so scared, and aroused at the same time.
It was like a sexual awakening.
I remember blushing and being like,
"I can't even look at you right now.
"Like I cannot look at you."
- I come back to the office and she's just like,
"Rachel, we need to go to the bathroom."
And she was like,
"I don't know what's going on with me,
"I don't know what's going on with me.
"But Aria gave me this look,
"I like him that way now, I really like him."
- After that night, I started thinking about Aria a lot.
In a very different way.
(laughs)
My mom was coming to town
and so was my grandfather for my birthday.
Rachel was like, "Invite Aria to come to drinks."
And I was like, "He shouldn't meet my mom,
"we haven't even kissed."
I ended up inviting him anyway.
He came very dressed up, had a wonderful night.
He touched my leg under the table
while I was sitting next to my mother.
He was very nervous, Rachel took pictures of it.
It took him like 30 minutes to do it.
Then, I started over thinking when we should
have our first kiss,
and where we should have our first kiss.
So I took him to a park,
and found a very romantic spot.
I also started babbling that night, I couldn't stop.
And then Aria grabbed my face and kissed me.
It was very romantic, and honestly
things from there have just kind of like,
skyrocketed I feel like.
- This is my world.
- Oh stop that's cute.
For something I was so uncomfortable with
for such a long time it was the easiest
transition in the world.
- And then next thing you know, they're (beep).
(cheerful music)
- Seeing Aria, date other people versus
watching Aria date Merle.
It just became so obvious what was missing
in the other relationships.
- It's like you see two people
who are so clearly right for each other
finally realize that they wanna be together.
And you know, Merle is one of my best friends
so oh my god I'm like gonna cry.
(laughs)
- Once they did decide to let everybody know
about their relationship,
they did not hold back.
Everybody knows, we're making a video about it right now.
Which I think is kinda crazy.
(laughs)
- So much of what you saw on camera,
was just them in their natural element.
And I dunno I'm just reading the comments
and I'm like oh I can't wait for the world to find out
that they're actually together 'cause it's a real thing.
- I think people have a hard time
thinking it's real because of it's value,
to both of their careers.
But, I can assure you when they're not
making money off of it, they are stupid
attracted to each other.
- I was out celebrating Merle's birthday with her.
And she pulls me aside and she says,
"I just wanna let you know,
"that I have serious feelings for Aria.
"No one's ever made me happier."
And I could just feel it was true.
And it just made me so happy for them.
(laughs)
(exclaims)
I'm gonna cry.
(laughs)
Okay.
- I actually have something I wanna take you to do.
We're just gonna leave bright and early
in the morning and that's all you need to know.
(pensive music)
- Okay.
- Merle and Aria have the type of love
that I think a lot of people
would be really lucky to find.
(cheerful music)
- Can I look?
- We're going in there.
- What?
We're going on a hot air balloon?
You're scared of heights.
- I know.
- And for how much Aria loves romantic movies,
rom coms, romantic dramas, whatever.
I think this is a very fitting love story for him.
- This is gonna be really romantic
and I'm gonna cry.
- I feel like love is a journey.
- Love is unexpected.
- I feel like I didn't know what love was
until I learned how terrified I was
to not have it anymore.
(cheerful music)
- [Rachel] I think one of the most important aspects
of love is really finding your best friend.
- [Jo] You need someone to just be your team mate.
I think when you have something like that,
it's really special.
- [Woman] I'm a huge romantic and I love, love.
I think it's fascinating and beautiful,
I think it's part of the whole reason
to be a human and be alive.
- [Woman] I think love is the reason that we do anything.
Is to give love and ultimately just to feel love.
- I've never felt this way for someone before.
I didn't actually think I could.
He was like in love with the things about me
that I don't even like that much.
The best way I could put it is that
I think when you're confronted with
all the things you wanted, it's hard to go after it.
Because you're scared that you're gonna ruin it.
- [Aria] I never felt more comfortable being myself
with anyone the way I am with Merle.
- [Both] This is our world.
- [Aria] Merle is everything I could want in a partner.
In the past few months, I have found myself
really and truly believing
that I am the happiest I have ever been.
- [Merle] Sometimes I sabotage myself in relationships
and I can actively feel myself
not doing that this time.
So I guess I'm just really excited
to see what happens with me and Aria.
Who knows, but I think this
is the best shot that I've got.
- One of my first videos at BuzzFeed,
was where I tried to find my soulmate in 48 hours.
Well it took a lot more time than that,
but I finally got it done.
(cheerful music)
(pensive music)
- High stakes, for sure.
Because now, God forbid if they were to break up
there's gotta be a video about it.