He drowned in September.

他在 9 月溺死了。

[What is your darkest secret?]

[你不可告人的秘密是什麼？]

[People anonymously wrote their biggest secrets, and we ask strangers to read them aloud.]

[人們匿名寫下心中最大的秘密，之後我們請陌生人將它們大聲唸出來]

Being born in America to immigrant parents, sometimes I am ashamed of my family's broken English when I am out in public.

我出生在美國的移民家庭，有時在公共場合，我家人蹩腳的英語讓我感覺很丟臉。

My biggest regret is saying I wouldn't cry if my mom died.

我最大的遺憾就是說如果母親去世了我不會哭。

She was given two years to live if her health continued the way it was going, and I was too much of an angsty, self-centered teenager to worry about anyone but myself.

如果照她現在的健康狀況，她只剩兩年的時間，但當時的我是一位焦慮煩躁、自我中心的青少年，根本無法去擔心除了自己之外的人。

I feel the pressure to do well in school and to get into a good college.

我對於要在學校表現優良，考進好大學備感壓力。

I wish grades didn't have to define someone's worth.

我希望成績不是用來衡量一個人的價值。

I started getting depressed when my parents eventually split up.

當我的父母分開時，我開始感到沮喪。

I never see my dad anymore, and I have a lot of pressure from my mom to succeed.

我再也沒見過我爸爸，而我從媽媽那裡感受到很多「要成功」的壓力。

Yeah ...

對...

I went to a very competitive school.

我之前也在非常競爭的學校就讀。

Performance was essentially like a source of validation, so I totally understand where he's coming from, because my school is kind of crazy.

痾...表現就像一種評估的標準，所以我完全可以理解他經歷的一切，因為我的學校也是這樣。

I'm ashamed of my body, but I tell other people to love themselves.

我以自己的身體為恥，我卻對其他人說要愛自己。

I'm actually very active on social media.

事實上，我很活躍於社群媒體。

It can be a lot of pressure, 'cause maybe I post something and it seems like I'm very happy, but deep down, I'm not having the best day.

這其實是很有壓力的，因為...我可能上傳了一些看似很開心的內容，但在內心深處，這卻不是最棒的一天。

And there's times where I would feel ashamed of sharing it.

有時，我會為分享這些而感到慚愧。

When I was four until I was six years old, I was molested by a babysitter.

從我 4 歲到 6 歲時，我被一名褓母騷擾。

And when I told my father, he told me to be quiet about it.

當我跟我爸爸說的時候，他卻要我保持沈默。

He said that as a female, my body is for men.

他說作為女性，身體就是屬於男人的。

This idea has stuck with me ever since.

自此之後，這個想法就一直揮之不去。

First and foremost, I'd tell them it's not their fault, also tell them that like it is a fight, learning how to understand and to really internalize that like, you are your own person, and like your body is yours and yours alone.

首先，我想告訴他們，這不是他們的錯，也想說，學習如何理解和內化「你是你自己的，而你的身體只屬於你」這個想法是一場戰鬥，。

My whole life I've been made to feel like I was undeserving of love.

我一生都覺得自己不值得被愛。

Both from myself and others, and I'm afraid that part of me believes them.

無論是我自己還是他人，而我很害怕部分的自己深信著這個想法。

Aw man, this one hits.

天阿，這個真的很有感觸...

When I was about 12 or 13, I realized what the word rape meant, and I just broke down.

我 12、13歲時，當我理解「強暴」的意思後，我崩潰了。

I remembered what had happened to me, and it finally made sense to me, and the fact that I was rejected from my own family, especially from my mom, led to depression.

我記起發生在我身上的事，也終於明白這代表什麼，而我被我的家庭，尤其是我母親拒絕的事實，使我得了憂鬱症。

I had nobody to talk to.

我沒有任何人可以談。

I can't even imagine.

我無法想像。

I think because there's always a question of "Oh, like what could I have done to avoid this?""Oh, I should have seen the signs," "I should have stepped up," "I should have said something."

我想這是因為他們總會想「我當時怎麼樣才能避免它？」、「我應該要看到那些跡象的。」、「我應該要勇敢站出來。」、「我當時應該要說點什麼。」

But at the same time, you never know how you're going to react until you're in a situation like that, and sometimes it's completely out of your control.

但同時，直到你親自面對那種情況，你永遠不知道你當下會怎麼去反應，有時情況會變得完全不受控制。

Hey guys, this is Jason from Jubilee here.

嘿各位！我是 Jason，來自 Jubilee。

Thank you so much for watching that video.

很感謝你觀看這支影片。

We'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below, and we also want to say a big thank you to our sponsors, BetterHelp.

我們希望在下方留言中看到你的想法，也想感謝我們的贊助商 BetterHelp。

BetterHelp is a private affordable online counseling website, where you have access to accredited counselors and therapists 24/7.

BetterHelp 是一個價格合理的私人諮商網站，使你全天候都可以與合格的諮商師和治療師聯繫。

We're really excited to be partnering with BetterHelp because personally, I really believe in the power of therapy, and I believe that there's never any shame in saying, "I need help," you know, "I need support."

我們非常高興能與 BetterHelp 合作，因為我個人很相信治療的力量，並且相信說出「我需要幫助」、「我需要支持」不是一件可恥的事。

So if you're at all interested, make sure you click on the link below and check them out.

所以如果你有興趣，記得點擊下幫連結去查看。

We're really, really grateful for their support.

我們十分感激他們的支持。

We also want to say make sure you click here to subscribe for more videos, click here to watch more videos, and we'll see you guys next time.

我們也想確保你有點擊這裡訂閱來查看更多影片，你也可以點這裡來看更多影片，那我們下次見！