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  • Wearing makeup is my job.

    化妝是我的工作。

  • Over the last decade, I've used hundreds of lipsticks, thousands of face creams.

    在過去的十年,我用過數百支口紅,上千條面霜。

  • And I've amassed millions of followers making original lifestyle content for my YouTube channel.

    並藉由我的 YouTube 頻道製作原創生活方式,累積數百萬名的粉絲。

  • I use cosmetics almost every single day.

    我幾乎每天都在使用化妝品。

  • Then came the pandemic.

    然後新冠病毒爆發了。

  • In quarantine, I can count the number of times that I've worn makeup on one hand.

    在隔離期間,我化妝的次數用單手就數得出來。

  • And it's not because I've suddenly come to dislike it.

    這不是因為我突然不喜歡化妝了。

  • It's because I no longer have the need or the desire to perform for the external world.

    而是因為我沒有這個需求或渴望,為了外面的世界而化妝。

  • Life as I knew it has evaporated.

    我所熟知的生活已經消失了。

  • What's left is just the question: Why do I apologize for looking like me?

    剩下的是這個問題:我為什麼要為了自己原本的長相而道歉?

  • Like many women, my relationship with how I look has been complicated.

    和許多女性一樣,我和自己的長相一直有著複雜的關係。

  • At 14, I fell in love with strawberry-flavored lip gloss and bright eyeshadow.

    在 14 歲的時候,我愛上了草莓口味的唇彩和閃亮的眼影。

  • And by 19, I was wearing makeup every single day.

    19 歲時我幾乎每天都上妝。

  • It even got to the point where I was showering with makeup on because I didn't want a boyfriend to see my acne underneath.

    我甚至在洗澡的時候都是帶著妝的,因為我不想讓我的男朋友看到底下的青春痘。

  • At 22, making beauty videos on YouTube officially became my full-time job.

    22 歲的時候,在 YouTube 上製作美妝影片正式成為我的全職工作。

  • And how I looked was directly connected to how much people liked me.

    我的形象會直接影響喜歡我的人數多寡。

  • The world has expectations for women.

    這個世界對於女性有著一定的期望。

  • I've appeared on camera without makeup, and people have told me that I'm lazy or even worse.

    我曾經素顏出現在鏡頭前,但人們會說我很懶惰甚至更過份的話。

  • They've told me to take pride in myself.

    他們叫我應該要對自己驕傲一點。

  • If I wore makeup, the next day, then I was fake and shallow.

    如果隔天我化妝了,那麼我就會被罵說是虛偽又膚淺。

  • And if I went more than a few days without wearing makeup, then my credibility as a beauty expert was questioned.

    如果我連續好幾天都素顏,那我這個美妝專家的信譽就會受到質疑。

  • I'm 31 now, and I thought I finally had my relationship to makeup figured out.

    我現在 31 歲,我想我終於明白我和化妝之間的關係。

  • I wore makeup for myself, not for others.

    我化妝是為了自己,不是為了其他人。

  • Or at least, that's what I told myself.

    至少,我是這麼告訴自己的。

  • Now, two months into quarantine, I'm realizing just how much I was still performing for other people.

    從隔離到現在已經有兩個月之久,我意識到自己仍然還是在為了其他人而化妝。

  • I've come a long way from showering with makeup on, but I still feel uneasy attending a meeting or an event.

    我經過了很長一段時間的努力才不帶妝洗澡,但是在參加會議或活動,不化妝還是會讓我感到不自在。

  • Even on Zoom, when I'm at home without makeup.

    就連我只是在家沒有化妝,用 Zoom 開視訊會議也一樣。

  • I'm noticing myself in this familiar pattern when I get on video calls.

    我發現當我在視訊會議的時候,又做了以前我常做的事。

  • I apologize for how I look, and then I regret it.

    我為了自己原本的樣子道歉,然後又後悔。

  • And almost every woman I'm on a Zoom call with does this, too.

    而且幾乎所有在 Zoom 和我視訊會議的女性都在做一樣的事。

  • We spend the first few minutes in this ritual of picking ourselves apart for gray hairs, wearing sweatpants, having dark circles, wrinkles, pimples.

    我們在開始的前幾分鐘會有件例行公事,就是嫌棄自己的白頭髮、身上穿的運動褲、黑眼圈、皺紋和青春痘。

  • And apologizing for not wearing makeup, and covering it all up.

    並為了沒有化妝把缺陷掩蓋住而道歉。

  • Things like acne and dark circles are universal realities.

    像青春痘和黑眼圈這類的東西,是一個普遍的存在。

  • But women aren't allowed those things.

    但是女人並不被允許這類的東西出現在她們身上。

  • And the science shows that women who aren't considered to be well-groomed are actually paid less.

    科學研究顯示,被認為沒有好好打理自己的女性,她們的收入會比較少。

  • It took a pandemic, but finally, women can focus less on how we look and focus more on what we do.

    新冠肺炎終於讓女性減少對自我樣貌的過度關注,並將焦點放在我們做的事情上。

  • In this crisis, what I'm seeing on Zoom or when I look out my window are women.

    在這個疫情當中,我在 Zoom 的視訊會議上所見到的和我在窗外所看到的,都是女性。

  • Women who are useful, not just seen by the world as decorative.

    女性很有能力,並不該被這個世界認為只能當裝飾品。

  • In quarantine, an active self-care for me is using makeup as a mirror to express my emotions, not mask them.

    在隔離期間,化妝對我而言是一個積極的自我療程,就像是一面鏡子去傳達我的情感,而不是把它掩蓋住。

  • So I'm challenging women to do something new with me: No more apologizing for how we look.

    因此我在這裡向女性發出挑戰,和我一起去做新的事情:不要再為了我們的長相而道歉。

  • One part public protest, two parts self-compassion.

    一部分是為了抗議大眾,更大一部分是為了善待自己。

  • If isolation has taught us anything, it's that our most important audience is actually ourself.

    如果隔離有教會我們什麼,那就是我們最重要的觀眾其實就是我們自己。

Wearing makeup is my job.

化妝是我的工作。

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B2 中高級 中文 美國腔 TheNewYorkTimes 女性 素顏 隔離 會議 眼圈

化妝是為了自己不是為了別人!願所有女性都能善待自我! (Ingrid Nilsen Wants Women To Stop Apologizing For How They Look | NYT Opinion)

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    Mackenzie 發佈於 2021 年 10 月 20 日
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