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  • - Yo wad up bird faces and turd bodies?

  • It's Bryce Chryson.

  • - And I'm Damdameron.

  • - And today we're gonna teach you

  • - [Both] how to go viral.

  • - First lesson, get hurt.

  • People love physical comedy, AKA, watching people feel pain.

  • I'll show you an example.

  • Whoa!

  • (Courtney crashes)

  • (Courtney moans)

  • (phone rings) Oh!

  • Hey babe, what's up?

  • I'm just filming a, what?

  • You don't know, you're right.

  • I think you're too good for me too.

  • Okay, love you, or I won't say that.

  • (phone beeps)

  • My girlfriend just broke up with me.

  • (somber music)

  • That hurt, that really hurt.

  • I better film a quick TikTok before these tears dry up.

  • Ha ha, viral.

  • Do something heroic.

  • (Shayne sips)

  • (cup clatters)

  • I'm not gonna pick that up 'cause it touched the ground,

  • which makes it trash, and that's gross.

  • You've gone viral.

  • - Be consistent.

  • Don't post a video unless you know it's gonna be viral.

  • And how do you know it's gonna be viral?

  • You don't.

  • You find out by posting it.

  • But don't post it unless you know it's gonna go viral,

  • which you, which you won't know until you post it,

  • but don't post it.

  • Unless it's gonna go viral.

  • And then you post it.

  • But don't, how will, my head hurts.

  • - I've gone too viral.

  • Show off one of your many talents.

  • For instance, I can do this thing.

  • Well, I can't actually do that.

  • I can, I can juggle.

  • No, I can't.

  • I can't juggle.

  • Oh, (beeps) okay, never mind, moving on.

  • Yo, you got some viral?

  • - Propose to your girlfriend.

  • (Courtney sighs)

  • I don't have a girlfriend anymore.

  • I should have thought about that before hitting record.

  • Why does everyone leave me?

  • Oh hell yeah!

  • Two crying TikToks in a day.

  • My heart's just like this broken thing,

  • that's all broken and stuff.

  • She broke it.

  • With you

  • And I'm with you

  • - Uh oh, viral.

  • Get

  • a DUI.

  • The first step to getting a DUI

  • is getting your license.

  • Driving without one is extremely dangerous.

  • Safety first.

  • Damn, these questions are tough.

  • Who knew getting a DUI meant you had to be super smart?

  • All right, I gave up on getting my license

  • because that (beeps) was way too hard.

  • But I did get drunk.

  • So maybe I can get a drunk in public or something.

  • That's called being resources.

  • Oh, (beeps), viral.

  • - This is a really important one.

  • It's all about the hashtags.

  • Hashtag cute.

  • Hashtag boy.

  • Hashtag thank you first responders.

  • That's for all the people who comment first on my TikToks

  • 'cause they respond first.

  • So, thank you first responders.

  • - Viral.

  • Get pity likes by pretending you've had a health scare.

  • I just had surgery.

  • They thought I was going to die because my dick was too big.

  • So they had to cut some of it off.

  • But don't worry,

  • my dick is still really big.

  • Vee-ral.

  • - Try collabing with someone

  • who's way more popular than you.

  • - And that's why you wanted to collab with me.

  • - No, that's why you wanted to collab with me.

  • - In case you haven't noticed, I'm way cooler than you.

  • - Aren't you like 40?

  • - Jokes on you.

  • I don't know how old I am because I forgot, and my parents

  • they won't answer my phone calls.

  • - Oh, my mom left so I know what you mean.

  • - Are you, are you crying?

  • Can you teach me how to do that?

  • - No, this is my thing.

  • This is my thing.

  • - Viral.

  • Steal a funny tweet.

  • You tellin' me a shrimp fried this rice?

  • (Shayne laughs)

  • It's funny because shrimps is small,

  • but rice are

  • also small,

  • which is absurd.

  • Yo, where's the camera at?

  • Oh, right there?

  • Viral.

  • - This one's easy.

  • Create a new dance.

  • (R&B music)

  • - Yo, I think that's just the savage dance.

  • - I mean yeah, but mine's like a different version, so.

  • - What's different about your version?

  • - Because I did it.

  • It's like put my own Dameron flavor of the dance,

  • and no dance is the same.

  • And my dance is set from far apart

  • from all the other dances.

  • So it's its own dance.

  • Super easy to think about.

  • - I think I understand.

  • It is like you telling me a shrimp fried this rice

  • but a dance.

  • Viral.

  • Say something extremely controversial.

  • All right, here it comes.

  • People from Minnesota are dumb.

  • - Hey man, not to rain on your parade at all,

  • but your advice seems a little negative and like kinda bad.

  • - Yeah?

  • Well, your advice only works if you already have followers.

  • It wouldn't work for a normal person.

  • - You're right.

  • I'm not normal.

  • I feel my emotions way more strongly than anybody else.

  • - My dude, I think that's just hormones.

  • I have those too.

  • They make me all bonery.

  • - You're kinda disgusting, bro.

  • Like nothing, not trying to step on your toes,

  • but like, you're kinda disgusting.

  • You're kinda despicable.

  • You make me a little nauseous.

  • - Whoa, only my doctor and my ex, Breanna, can tell me that.

  • Let me write this in my viral notebook.

  • - This actually brings me to my last piece of advice,

  • which is start drama with another influencer.

  • - Oh, I get it!

  • I tricked you into starting beef with me for the video.

  • Man, I'm smart.

  • You only have followers 'cause you're cute.

  • - You only have followers 'cause you're hot.

  • - Wow, thanks for saying that I'm hot.

  • - Thanks for saying I'm cute.

  • - To be real with you, if I was your girlfriend,

  • I would have never broken your heart.

  • - Thank you.

  • I totally forgot about her.

  • (Courtney moans)

  • - I can cry too.

  • - No you can't, dude.

  • Look, you're so bad at it.

  • Stop.

  • Stop.

  • You're minimizing my crying by trying to cry too.

  • (Shayne yells)

  • I feel emotional.

  • - [Both] How to go viral.

  • (screen beeps)

  • - What's up, losers?

  • What's up, dip (beeps) and idiots?

  • What's up, Tweedledee and Tweedledums?

  • It's me, Bryce Chryson.

  • (screen beeps)

  • - I'm Dameron Pates, as well as,

  • you may also AKA know me as Damdameron.

  • (Courtney giggles) (screen beeps)

  • - Oh look, I'm going down a viral staircase.

  • (screen beeps)

  • - You're gonna go viral today.

  • You're gonna have a good time.

  • We're gonna learn how to go on the internet.

  • Ignore the motorcycles outside.

  • I live in hell.

  • (screen beeps)

  • - So they had to cut half of it off.

  • So now my dick is only 12 inches long.

  • (screen beeps)

  • - What's up baby girls?

  • Ew, that was gross.

  • (screen beeps)

  • - I don't know how old I am

  • because I used my birth certificate to snort cocaine,

  • and my parents have disowned me

  • because I have snorted so much cocaine.

  • (screen beeps)

  • - Also ladies, please be nice in the comments.

  • I have quarantine hair.

  • (screen beeps)

  • - This is gonna be so controversial.

  • Like I don't even know if I can say this, but like,

  • all right, here it comes.

  • People from Minnesota are from Canada.

  • (screen beeps)

  • - I look like Lord Farquaad.

  • (screen beeps)

  • - People from Canada are made out of maple syrup.

  • People from Canada are related to a moose.

  • People from Minnesota and Illinois are the exact same.

  • Minnesota and Canada are the same continent.

  • (screen beeps)

  • - So the dance is separate from everybody else's dance

  • 'cause I did it on my video.

  • It's my video, and I did it, and it's gonna be viral.

  • I don't even need to even test it.

  • The video's gonna go viral.

  • It's fine.

  • I mean look at me.

  • It's fine.

  • - Only my doctor and the checkout lady

  • at Safeway can tell me that.

  • Only my doctor and my imaginary friend,

  • Pascal, can tell me that.

  • You can not tell me I am disgusting definitively

  • because you are not a physicist.

  • (screen beeps)

  • - Hey, Damdameron here.

  • Thanks for watching this video.

  • I hope you got a lot of insight on how to go viral.

  • 'Cause, you know, we know how to do that.

  • We've done it a few times in our day.

  • (Courtney chuckles)

  • If you want to watch some more videos,

  • we have one over there.

  • It's pretty good, and if you want to wear some more swag,

  • which we've got plenty of, it's over there.

  • It's pretty tasty.

  • And if you want to stay with us and like make a commitment

  • to us as a relationship, you commit to us,

  • you can subscribe down there.

  • That's basically getting married to a YouTube channel.

  • I'm looking for love actively right now, and I'm struggling.

  • (Courtney sighs)

- Yo wad up bird faces and turd bodies?

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