- Sheldon? - Yes, that's my first name.

Otherwise known as, well, Plankton.

I went to college!

The earliest recorded ancestor of Plankton doth be Planktonamor,

who lived during Medieval times.

[choking]

He lived in a tall villainous tower

with his wife Karen the crystal ball.

Hm, I guess the Plankton family has been romantically involved

with advanced technology for generations.

Oh, that beeth rich.

Planktonamor looks like an elderly wizard.

Just look at his grey beard and flowy purple cloak.

Planktonamor almost got away with kidnapping Princess Pearl

by using his tremendously magical powers.

[giggling]

That tickles!

But he ended up getting zapped by his own dragon jellyfish.

Curses! You win.

Many, many years later we meet Plankton's next recorded ancestor,

from the Wild West era, Dead Eye Plankton.

That's me!

Dead Eye Plankton.

Dead Eye Plankton is an outlaw who is feared by everyone

in Dead Eye Gulch.

Dead Eye Plankton is very similar to his descendant Plankton,

with the exception of his handlebar mustache,

red bowtie and top hat.

[laughing]

I love this town!

[laughing]

Everyone was scared of Dead Eye Plankton except for SpongeBuck.

We're right behind you, boy! Way, way behind you!

Who comes to town and challenges Dead Eye to a duel

at a very specific time.

We're gonna have to settle this thing Western-style at high noon.

I'll be back at high noon.

High noon!

Alright, he said 'high noon', we get it.

And in the intense, long-fought battle,

SpongeBuck came out victorious.

Ow!

Huh?

Despite Dead Eye Plankton's epic dance moves.

Uh-huh, what, what! Uh-huh, what, what!

I gotta admit, he's got skills.

Let's move down the family tree to Plankton's grandfather,

Grand Dad Plankton.

We only got one look at Grand Dad,

and it happened to be in one of Plankton's nightmares,

where they both got swallowed up by Pearl.

Hey, Plankton!

Glad you could join the rest of the family.

Grand Dad?

Grand Dad has three spots on the side of his head,

and a bushy grey beard.

And you're pretty brave standing in that there gastric acid.

Gastric acid?

[screaming]

[laughing]

At some point Grand Dad married Lily, Plankton's grandma.

Oh Plankton, you always were my favorite granddaughter.

Lily lives in Shady Shoals Rest Home,

along with many other elderly Bikini Bottomites,

including Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.

Evil!

Evil!

[moaning]

Lily looks similar to Plankton, except that she wears glasses,

well glass, has lavender puffy hair,

and wears an orange dress with yellow polka dots.

She is a Plankton, so of course Lily is also obsessed with

stealing the secret formula.

Say cheese!

Cheese! Ha!

[screaming]

You know what else Lily is obsessed with?

The most handsome hunk in all of Bikini Bottom.

Oh my goodness!

Who is this handsome young man?

Oh, that's Squidward. He's nobody. Moving on!

Mm! Squidward!

Didn't we meet at an early bird dinner?

Plankton's grandparents had at least two children.

Both sons, they are Silas and Gordon Plankton.

Gordon is Plankton's dad.

He looks like his son, except he has a blue eye instead of a red one,

wears a sweet Hawaiian shirt and has brown facial hair.

Gotta admit, looks like a pretty cool dude.

Gordon meets an unseen Mama Plankton,

who after some deductive reasoning, we can assume looks like this.

The couple have who knows how many children, but we do know of one.

Sheldon J. Plankton. Yes, Sheldon.

For years, it has been my goal to acquire the secret formula for--

Plankton is a small green planktonic copepod.

[playing harmonica]

[panting]

He runs the massively unsuccessful Chum Bucket restaurant,

situated right across the street from the Krusty Krab.

His greatest goal is to steal the Krabby Patty secret formula

and control Bikini Bottom.

Drops of rain frozen into ice crystals?

I shall harness their energy and rule the world!

Stop! I wish to rule you!

Fun fact: did you know Plankton was born the same exact day as Mr. Krabs?

Who knew?

Being a microscopic organism,

Plankton's biological family members are in the thousands,

if not millions.

In one instance, Plankton recruits his entire family to help him

steal the formula, assuming they were all criminal master minds like himself.

Safe to say that Plankton was, well, sadly mistaken.

Hey look everybody, it's cousin Plankton!

Yeehaw!

His relatives include, but are not limited to...

You remember Zeke, Rufus, Gee, Billy Bob,

Billy Jim, Billy-Billy Banana Fana Fo-Filly,

Doug, Ines...

- Fletcher McGee, Rain Child... - Alright, I get it!

They help Plankton with his evil plan as long as he provides them with...

Can I get a new string for my banjo?

And another boot to match this one?

And some more memory for my laptop.

- And most importantly... - And what about root beer?

- Wait, what was that? - Root beer!

- One more time. - And what about root beer?

Root beer!

Ah, OK, got it. Root beer!

Plankton is married to Karen,

a self-aware waterproof super computer,

who supports Plankton in his evil schemes.

One Krabby Patty, please.

- Thank you. - Whatever.

Karen has a mother, appropriately named EMILP.

EMILP? What's EMILP?

Emergency Mother-In-Law Program.

Oh, no.

She's not Plankton's biggest fan.

What have you done to my daughter? You made her cry!

You know, she could have been with an ATM, someone with money,

but she chose you, I don't know why!

Plankton and Karen have an adorable baby boy,

Chip Plankton. Don't ask me to explain.

Oh, well that makes sense.

A baby! I don't want a baby!

It's too late to stop it now.

It's been nine months and the baby is no longer on back order.

Chip is born as a small calculator,

and eventually grows into a typewriter.

A video game console...

A mobile computer...

And ultimately, a fully-grown ATM machine.

[grunting]

Eh, what...

Hey! Hey! Give me my money!

[sobbing]

[laughing]

That's my boy!

There you have it, folks, all known members of the Plankton family.

Join us next time as we discover the interesting ancestry

in yet another chapter of Nickelodeon's history

on Nick Family Tree.

[laughing]

♪ ABC's ♪

[laughing]