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  • -Hey, everybody.

  • Welcome to "Tonight Show: At Home Edition."

  • It's me, Jimmy Fallon saying hello and thank you so much

  • for watching on a Wednesday night.

  • The week is halfway over, it's basically Thursday.

  • So, you know, good job, everybody.

  • Way to stay home. Way to wear masks.

  • We're doing the right thing, we're flattening that curve.

  • Come on, we got this, guys. Let's go. It's Wednesday.

  • Two more days? Come on, we got this, right?

  • Then the weekend's here.

  • Yeah, which is basically what today feels like.

  • Anyway, it doesn't matter.

  • Let's start with some jokes. How about this?

  • I'm very excited about this.

  • My guest tonight is

  • New York Governor Andrew Cuomo.

  • Oh, my goodness.

  • I called Governor Cuomo yesterday and I said,

  • "Hey, man, you busy tomorrow?" And he was like, "Not at all.

  • No, not doing anything right now.

  • I'm actually -- yeah, kind of bored.

  • I need stuff to do.

  • Yeah, I definitely want to do your show, Jimmy.

  • Thank you."

  • So that's cool, he's doing that.

  • Guys, this Sunday is Mother's Day.

  • Oh... -[ Giggles ]

  • I saw that Louis Vuitton released a series

  • of free e-cards.

  • What's better than watching mom's face when she gets

  • something from Louis Vuitton and realizes

  • it's just an e-card?

  • Wow.

  • What? [ Laughs ]

  • My mom would go level.

  • My mom would cry. She would cry, right?

  • She would go off and just start secretly crying somewhere.

  • -Mm-hmm. Or nothing, really.

  • -[ Thick New York accent ] "I just thought --

  • I opened up the card and it's a Louis Vuitton.

  • I thought you got me a new bag.

  • And it's just a card. It's very thoughtful."

  • [ Laughs ]

  • I can't believe this. There's a new TikTok trend

  • that's going viral -- oh, come on,

  • it's called the Pee Your Pants Challenge.

  • And it's basically what it sounds like.

  • When I first saw it, I thought, you know what?

  • We deserve the murder hornets.

  • Listen to this, researchers have found that otters

  • are more likely to juggle rocks or pebbles when they're hungry.

  • So if you're keeping track, that's otter juggling study one,

  • coronavirus vaccine, zero.

  • But the otter study, with the juggled rocks

  • when they're hungry, yeah, that's proven.

  • So we got right on that one.

  • A new study was published showing evidence

  • of ancient rivers on Mars.

  • Cool. Yeah, you could tell they were rivers

  • because of all the ancient Martian inner tubes

  • and beer cans.

  • A lot of tubing -- a little Martian tubing up there.

  • [ Laughs ]

  • Tubing. Oh, man, that's great.

  • I read that the pandemic could lead to the end

  • of crowded office meetings with all of your co-workers.

  • It's sad for the one guy who loved hearing the really long

  • "Haaaaaa" at the beginning of the happy birthday song.

  • Haaaaaaappy... ♪

  • Everyone. Aaaa... Not yet.

  • [ Sings ]

  • Don't start the harmony yet.

  • I know you're the one who does the harmony.

  • To you

  • My dog just left.

  • Oh no, you're coming in. Gary.

  • You like that? Did you think I called you?

  • Man you're turning into kind of a smelly dog.

  • I don't know what to do with this dog.

  • I really can't take it right now.

  • Gary, you got to get out of here.

  • It's like being in like a high school locker room.

  • I'm not playing a game. Oh no.

  • Whew! Gosh darn it.

  • Gary!

  • Man, that is something else, man.

  • What is going down?

  • -[ Laughs ]

  • -Gosh, Gary.

  • I know you're a dog, but are you, though?

  • We never knew you were a dog.

  • [ Laughs ]

  • No, don't come -- I see the shadow.

  • Gary. No, we've had enough.

  • Now, you had the ball and you were over there,

  • and everything was fine.

  • You were taking a nap, remember that?

  • Go back to do that.

  • All right, go. You can go out that way.

  • Good girl, good girl. Go out that way.

  • Lay down. Lay down.

  • Lay down. Lay down.

  • Whew!

  • It's like she rolled in something insane, dude.

  • What is happening?

  • I can't even look at you.

  • It's not your fault, it's all right.

  • I'll take care of you.

  • Sorry, Gary.

  • I think I insulted her. I'll give her a treat later.

  • Is it the treats we're giving her?

  • -I do not know. -I got her new treats.

  • -I don't know if she found a nest and rolled in something

  • but the insane scrubbing I gave her did not work, so.

  • -What in the what? That is insanity.

  • -...after this.

  • -This is interesting, I heard about a company

  • in South Africa that's offering virtual safaris.

  • Yeah, there's actually a name for virtual safaris.

  • It's called "watching National Geographic."

  • So...

  • Kids, we got some virtual safari now.

  • I saw that Texas will soon allow hair salons,

  • tanning salons, and gyms to reopen.

  • Which explains why the state is changing its name from Texas

  • to Newer Jersey.

  • And finally, we've been seeing a lot of great reporters --

  • TV reporters out there giving us the news, and they're awesome.

  • So thank you for doing all that hard stuff, and that hard work.

  • We really appreciate it.

  • But what we also realized is that some of the interviews,

  • the lighter interviews, people are wearing face masks,

  • and there's a way to make them kind of say

  • whatever we want them to say

  • because their face is covered up.

  • I don't know, we gave it a shot.

  • Check out this new bit called "Face Mask the Nation."

  • -♪ Face Mask the Nation

  • -What is the short term plan in Miami-Dade county

  • if they're not going to necessarily be

  • opening up the beaches right now?

  • -So the plan is to go into the ocean and pull the drain plug,

  • drain out the ocean, and refill it when it is safe to do so.

  • -Let me show you how to properly wear a mask.

  • First you're going to want to tug on it

  • with your filthy hands, and then expose

  • just a little bit of chin.

  • Tempt the virus. Show a little skin.

  • Flirt with her. Hey, virus, how you doing?

  • -I just feel like you say you want a commitment,

  • but then when I get closer, you pull further away.

  • -Can I say something? -And then when I back off,

  • you tell me we feel distant. -Are you done?

  • -So I don't know what to do, Amanda.

  • Because everything I do seems to be the wrong thing.

  • -Rick, I know about Debra.

  • -Ha ha! That was our monologue, everybody.

  • We have a great show tonight. As I said earlier,

  • Governor Andrew Cuomo is on the show tonight.

  • Man, is he doing an unbelievable job.

  • Thank you so much, Governor Cuomo.

  • I got to talk to him about everything that's going on

  • and what he's thinking about everything

  • and what the next steps are

  • and how great New York has been handling all of this.

  • He's just a smart, smart guy

  • and just really delivers the facts.

  • So, thank you for coming on.

  • We also have Gabrielle Union on the show.

  • Gabrielle is going to tell us everything she's doing

  • for the LGBTQ community as well as team up

  • with Questlove in a game that we're going to play

  • later on in the show.

  • It's going to be fun.

  • And also, we have great music from Brad Paisley.

  • We love Brad Paisley.

  • The song is called "There's No I in Beer."

  • [ Laughs ]

  • That is great, man.

  • Oh, I thought of a country song.

  • "When it Rains, I Pour."

  • -[ Laughs ]

  • -It's about a dude, right?

  • When he's bummed out, he goes to the booze.

  • -I love it. -It's not bad, right?

  • -Love it.

  • -Is it a song? -Yeah. Is he depressed?

  • -No, I mean, is it a song already?

  • -Oh, no. -All right, well...

  • Hey, guys, it's Wednesday, so we're going to do

  • our bit called "What Are You Doing Wednesdays."

  • Here we go.

  • -♪ What are you doing this Wednesday? ♪

  • What are you doing this Wednesday

  • -Hey, guys, we're doing this thing on Wednesdays

  • which I think I'm just going to keep up with the show

  • because it makes me laugh.

  • It's "What Are You Doing Wednesdays."

  • I just see things, people send me videos

  • of people online doing something that just makes me laugh.

  • And so if it makes me laugh, hopefully it will make you laugh

  • and bring a smile on your face.

  • The first one is from Stefani Davis,

  • who thought of a way to play wine pong.

  • Which, by the way, I think I've heard of that before?

  • I know beer pong. Wine pong is a thing?

  • But she thought of a way to play wine pong by herself.

  • Look at this thing.

  • -Mommy! [ Shouts ]

  • [ Excited chatter ]

  • -Oh, that's... -[ Laughs ]

  • -Ha!

  • -[ Laughs ]

  • "Hey, Mom? Mom, can we come in?"

  • "Uh, Mom's showering. don't come in."

  • This next one is called "The Fence Hack."

  • And this is two next-door neighbors,

  • they find a way to make their fence

  • work better in their favor.

  • Check it out.

  • ♪♪

  • ♪♪

  • ♪♪

  • -I mean, if that just doesn't say America for you.

  • And ingenuity and creativity and awesome

  • and friendly neighbors and the kids and everyone.

  • But distancing and just --

  • That is awesome, I love that.

  • Thanks for doing that, guys.

  • This last one here is from @Alexpresley's family.

  • They got bored. They invented a new game.

  • And I think this game is going to take off.

  • I mean, bigger than football, bigger than wrestling.

  • This is the new thing, this is family backslide race,

  • where they're sliding on their backs

  • and racing around into the living room.

  • [ Laughs ] Watch this.

  • -On your mark, get set, go.

  • -Go, go, go.

  • -Oh! -Wow.

  • -Oh, [indistinct]

  • So good! -Oh!

  • -5:56. -Whoo!

  • -Go! -Go, Rudy, go, go.

  • -It's the mom. [ Laughing ]

  • -She's moving. [ Shouting ]

  • -[ Laughing ] -Go!

  • -7:40. -Not bad.

  • -Go. [ Shouting ]

  • -Go, go, go, go, go! -Whoo!

  • -Wow!

  • -[ Shouting ]

  • -4.2.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • You see mom cooking right there?

  • She was going for it. I loved it so much.

  • Guys, that was "What Are You Doing Wednesdays."

  • Thank you so much.

-Hey, everybody.

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今夜秀》。在家版 (Face Mask the Nation, What Are You Doing Wednesdays) (The Tonight Show: At Home Edition (Face Mask the Nation, What Are You Doing Wednesdays))

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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