Or maybe your job status or your height?

或謊稱自己的工作狀況或身高？

Or even just avoided putting yourself in a situation in which you knew you were likely to fail?

或避免進入一個知道自己極有可能失敗的領域？

Why did you do that?

你為什麼要這麼做？

Short answer--because you were embarrassed.

簡短地回答，因為你覺得尷尬。

Embarrassment comes from trying to control how other people perceive you.

你試圖掌控別人看你的眼光，那就是尷尬與羞赧的來源。

So instead of just showing the world your nerdy hobby, say, that you collect beanie babies, you go: "I don't want people to think I'm a dweeb" and pretend that you don't have one.

你選擇不讓別人知道你書呆子的嗜好，假設你喜歡搜集豆豆娃好了，你可能認為：「我不想讓別人覺得我是呆瓜。」你就會假裝自己沒有這個嗜好。

The same process plays out with hobbies as it does with mistakes that we've made, areas in which we're weak and areas in which we might get publicly rejected.

面對犯錯、做我們不太會的事、和進行自己覺得大家不太會接受的事時，我們的反應與隱藏嗜好是一樣的。

We hide what we don't want people to know about us.

我們把不想讓別人知道的東西藏起來。

We conform to what other people would like us to be.

我們順從，變成別人想要我們成為的樣子。

But it doesn't have to be the answer because there is another more empowering mindset.

但這不用變成常態，因為還有其他更有力的心態。

Instead of focusing on other people's perceptions and feeling embarrassed about what they may think, focus on whether or not you live up to your own values.

與其專注在其他人的想法、對他們怎麼想的感到尷尬，不如專注在跟隨自身價值。

For instance, if you do have a killer beanie baby collection, you obviously value something about it — maybe it's the nostalgia or maybe it's just a quirk that started when your grandma gave you one 20 years ago.

例如，如果你有超強的豆豆娃搜集，你一定看重它的某處——不論是懷舊情懷、或也許這怪癖從二十年前你奶奶給你一隻豆娃娃時就開始了。

Either way, if you value your own opinions, you won't try to hide the collection no matter what anyone else thinks of it.

無論如何，如果你看重自己的意見，你就不會管其他人是怎麼想的，你不會試著隱藏你的搜集品。

Or maybe you have a crush that you're thinking of asking out.

也許你有心上人，你想要約他出來。

Focusing on other people's perceptions of you would stop you dead in your tracks.

在意其他人是怎麼想的，會讓你停下行動。

After all, what if other people found out and laughed at you for getting turned down?

畢竟如果其他人知道了，在你被拒絕時嘲笑你怎麼辦？

But what if you instead focused on your own values like doing the courageous thing or being honest even when it's uncomfortable?

但如果你專注在自己的價值觀，像是做勇敢的事情，或即使感到不舒服、還是要誠實呢？

You would ask that person out.

你就會去約那個人出來。

Now maybe you'd go on a date, maybe you wouldn't but either way, you'd have lived up to your own values and no matter what anyone else said or did, you could feel proud of yourself.

也許你們會去約會、也許不會，但你已經達成自己價值之下的事，不管別人怎麼說，你都會為自己驕傲。

The point is that when you focus on living up to your own values, you never have to feel embarrassed again.

重點在於，當你做到自己認為有意義的事時，你就不再會感到尷尬了。

It doesn't matter whether you trip up an escalator, get fired from a job, beat up in a fight or blown off by a girl or a boy that you like — none of that stuff is pleasant, but you don't need the double penalty of being embarrassed by those things.

不管你是在手扶梯上跌倒、被炒魷魚、打架被打趴、被喜歡的人拒絕，雖然這些事情都不愉快，但你不需要因為尷尬而被雙重懲罰。

Your attempts to live up to your values are all that matter, so take responsibility, try to correct course and move on.

你試圖達到你想要的東西才是最重要的，所以負起責任、往正確的航道行動。

And if you have traits that embarrass you whether it's your looks, your height, your age — well, you can't control those things and you can't live up to a value that you can't control.

假如你有讓自己尷尬的特徵，不管是長相、身高、年紀，你無法掌控這些事情，你也不能達到那些事情。

So even though you might not like something about yourself, own it.

即使現在你有不喜歡自己的地方，接受它。

You will immediately feel relieved when you accept yourself the way you are.

當你接受自己原本的樣子時，你立刻會感到舒暢。

Now this isn't an excuse to simply give up on improving yourself in the name of self-acceptance.

這不是一個放棄增進自己、以「自我接受」為美名的藉口。

Some things are worth a moment of embarrassment because they remind us that were not living up to our values.

有些事值得讓我們感到一陣子的尷尬，因為它們提醒了我們，我們還沒達成自己認為有價值的事。

So in the case of maybe having fallen out of shape, a moment of embarrassment is worth it to get you back to a healthy lifestyle or a moment of embarrassment in saying your job title can be worth it if it inspires you to hustle to land your dream job.

假設你身型不好，一下子的尷尬是值得的，會讓你回到健康的生活方式；說出職稱的尷尬也會是值得的，因為你會被激勵而努力得到夢想工作。

The point is to get clear on your values than live in line with them.

重點是要認清有意義的事情，並向它們前行。

Let other people's perception of you fade into the background noise.

讓其他人對你的看法成為背景音。

Now this doesn't mean you ignore other people completely to the point of becoming a self-absorbed jerk.

這不代表你要完全忽視其他人，直接成為一個自我中心的混蛋。

For instance, if one of your values is to be kind and you keep getting feedback that you're hurting people's feelings, you probably need to make an adjustment.

假如你的其中一項目標是「友善」，而別人一直告訴你，你傷到他們的情緒了，你可能就該做個調整。

But just remember there are seven billion people with seven billion different opinions—you cannot please them all.

不過請記住，世上七十億人有七十億不同的意見，你不可能讓他們全都開心。

So when you take feedback from others, focus on doing the right thing rather than the thing that pleases everyone else.

所以如果有其他人給你意見，不要做會讓別人開心的事，專注在做對的事就好。

In short, stop trying to be okay by everyone.

總結，不要一直試著讓大家開心。

Stop trying to control the opinions of strangers.

不要試圖掌控陌生人的意見。

Instead, figure out your values and live by them.

取而代之，去尋找自己的價值，跟隨它們而活。

Be your unadulterated self all the time regardless of the audience.

當最真實的自己，不用管那些觀眾。

Make mistakes, fail publicly, get laughed at — you've got nothing to lose and as long as you're trying to do the right thing, you've got no reason to ever feel bad about it.

犯錯、公開地失敗、被嘲笑，做對的事時你就沒什麼好失去的，沒有任何你需要難過的理由。

Own your screw-ups, your weirdness, your unpopular actions, and you're free.

接受你的失敗、你的怪異、你不受歡迎的行為，你就自由了。

Hope you enjoyed that video and if you did like it and you want to see more videos like this one, make sure to go ahead and hit the subscribe button now.

希望你喜歡這支影片，如果想看更多的話，記得按下訂閱鈕。

You get more videos every week on how to be a most confident and charismatic self plus hit that little bell button if you want to make sure to see us on the homepage because YouTube requires that now.

每週你會看見更多如何成為更有自信和有魅力的人的影片，還有因為 YouTube 規定，如果想在主頁看見我們的話，記得按小鈴鐺。

If you have any suggestions of things that you like to see in the future, write them in the comments and as always, I look forward to seeing you in the next video.

若你有任何建議，像以往一樣在留言區留言，我很期待在下支影片看到你喔！