B1 中級 美國腔 138 分類 收藏
Unpopular opinion, actually popular opinion, just unpopular publicly declared sentiment.
Uh, getting married is not that much fun.
You're not allowed to say that, especially if you're a woman, god forbid, over 30.
Like, "well your just lucky that the lord sent you someone... to put up with your shit."
"Kissing your dog on the mouth, stop taking videos."
There is a world where you can admit that something is difficult, but also love the byproduct of it.
I love my husband, but the wedding part is exhausting.
It is a physical, and mental, and financial, just gauntlet.
Even down to the last minute, the wedding itself, the whole year is exhausting planning it, it's fun, you love your mom...
But it's a whole thing.
But even just the day of, let's talk about the day of, what happened on the day of your wedding, girls?
You had to prepare for it, like you woke up early, mmm, just wanna greet the sun.
Got up at like six, like when your dad gets up.
Up, right?
What, you meditated?
I just wanna be centered, right?
You worked out like it matters day of, it doesn't.
It doesn't, you're not gonna lose any weight at the buzzer.
It's not gonna... no.
It's never gonna happen.
What did you do?
You did your little workout, and then you got your makeup done, and your nails, and a massage, and a colonic, and a hyperbaric chamber, and a hyperbolic chamber, "oh cause, amazing."
And you got a situation room, and a silence cone, and a shame corner, and a Reiki healing, and you went ghost hunting, you did all this stuff.
What did your husband do on your wedding day?
I'll tell you: he woke up like whenever, went out to eat with his buddies "Something tasty, doesn't matter if I'm fat, cause I'm a funny guy."
Who cares if it's bloated?
Then he went and got a haircut on the day of the wedding, are you kidding me?
What faith you have in this barber?
Went out, had a drink, went home, jerked off, took a dump, who says you can't lose weight, right fellas?
Who says you can't lose weight the day of?
Probably about 500 grams.
He took a nap, he woke up to an alarm labeled "Wedding for you?".
He barely made it.


Iliza Shlesinger's To Do List Before Your Wedding | Netflix Is A Joke

138 分類 收藏
Seina 發佈於 2020 年 5 月 4 日
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