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  • Okay, are we all here?

    好了,大家都到齊了嗎?

  • I think so.

    我想是的

  • I don't know about you all, but my productivity has been through the roof since I've been able to work from home and not wear pants.

    我不知道你們的情況,但自從我可以在家工作,不穿褲子後,我的工作效率已經達到了頂峰。

  • No, I didn't dress up for this video conference.

    不,我沒有為這次視頻會議穿上衣服。

  • This is how I dress at home every day.

    這就是我每天在家的穿著打扮。

  • 'Cause it looks good.

    因為它看起來不錯。

  • Bro, I'm gonna have to call back into this conference later 'cause I am finishing an episode of Tiger King and this (beep) is getting crazy.

    兄弟,我待會要回電到這個會議上,因為我正在看完一集《虎王》,這(嗶)越來越瘋狂了。

  • Okay, so let me get some updates on the projects you all have been working on this week.

    好了,讓我來給大家介紹一下本週的項目情況。

  • From the deafening silence, I'm assuming that means none of you have done anything.

    從這震耳欲聾的沉默中,我想這意味著你們都沒有做任何事情。

  • If this was an in-person meeting, I would have brought snacks for everyone, like I always do, but since it's not, I've just got them for me, but they're really good.

    如果這是一次面對面的會議,我一定會像往常一樣給大家帶零食,但既然不是,我就只給自己準備了零食,但它們真的很好吃。

  • You guys would really like them.

    你們一定會喜歡他們的。

  • What am I drinking?

    我在喝什麼?

  • What do you mean to imply by that?

    你這話是什麼意思?

  • I'll share with you this spreadsheet from my screen and... oh crap, uh...

    我將與你分享這個電子表格從我的螢幕和... 哦,廢話,呃... ...

  • No!

    不!

  • No, no, no, no.

    不,不,不,不。

  • No, God!

    不,上帝!

  • This isn't my computer.

    這不是我的電腦。

  • Timmy, no, I muted you for a reason!

    提米,不,我把你靜音是有原因的!

  • And stop bringing your computer with you into the bathroom during the video conference for the love of all that is holy.

    別再在視頻會議上把電腦帶進衛生間了,看在所有神聖的份上。

  • Hey, if I could just get a word in real quick.

    嘿,如果我能得到一個字 在真正的快,

  • Can you guys hear me?

    你們能聽到我說話嗎?

  • Am I on mute or is this just my life?

    我是啞巴了還是這就是我的生活?

  • I know that we're about to wrap up, but I'd like to go back to the topic that we settled 20 minutes ago and argue the opposite of what I argued back then to prolong this video conference at least another 30 minutes.

    我知道我們馬上就要結束了,但是我想回到20分鐘前我們解決的話題,和我當時的論點進行相反的論證,至少把這次視頻會議再延長30分鐘。

  • Really quick, could everyone who thinks this is a productive use of our time please raise your hand so I know who I can't be friends with anymore?

    真的很快,每個人誰認為這是一個有效的利用我們的時間,請舉手,所以我知道誰我不能成為朋友了?

  • Stop talking at the same time.

    同時停止說話。

  • Stop talking at the same time.

    同時停止說話。

  • No one can hear anybody if you're talking at the same time.

    如果你在同一時間說話,沒有人可以聽到任何人。

  • Yeah, I'm here.

    是的,我在這裡。

  • I've been here the whole time.

    我一直都在這裡

  • I just haven't said anything 'cause I don't care.

    我只是什麼也沒說,因為我不在乎。

  • All right, so let's wrap this thing up with some optimistic closure.

    好了,讓我們用樂觀的方式結束這件事吧。

  • What are some takeaways from today's meeting besides learning to mute yourself when you need to fart?

    今天的會議除了學會在需要放屁的時候給自己靜音外,還有哪些收穫?

  • Next time, let's just have these discussions through email so I don't have to sit through the excruciating minutiae of the back-and-forths and can instead just skim the important points or perhaps just ignore it all together and somehow still get my job done.

    下一次,讓我們通過電子郵件來討論這些問題,這樣我就不用坐在那裡聽那些令人痛苦的細枝末節的反反覆覆,而可以只瀏覽重要的內容,或者乾脆把它全部忽略掉,然後以某種方式繼續完成我的工作。

  • Wow.

    哇哦

  • All right, goodbye everyone.

    好了,大家再見。

  • I've had to pee quite badly for the last half hour but didn't really want to say anything, so I'm gonna go do that now if I can make it... and you're all gone anyway, okay.

    我這半個小時來一直想尿尿,但又不想說什麼,所以我現在就去尿,如果我能做到的話......反正你們都走了,好吧。

  • If you want to own some of these cool designs to wear on your own body, the link is in the description.

    如果你想擁有這些酷炫的設計穿在自己身上,鏈接在描述中。

  • You can be repping your favorite YouTube channel, which is this one.

    你可以代理你最喜歡的YouTube頻道,就是這個。

  • No, I muted you for a reason and stop... just stop.

    不,我讓你靜音是有原因的,停止... 停止。

  • Timmy, no, I - eh.

    蒂米,不,我--呃。

  • And for the - lelelele...

    而對於--樂樂樂... ...

  • Timmy, I swear. Timmy?

    提米,我發誓。Timmy?

  • Timmy!

    蒂米!

  • We're living in a society.

    我們生活在一個社會中。

Okay, are we all here?

好了,大家都到齊了嗎?

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