Name: 對社交感到焦慮？教你如何克服社交恐懼症！ (The CURE for SOCIAL ANXIETY)
Uploaded: 2020-06-08T21:01:20.000Z
Duration: 2 min 48 s

Social anxiety is a big problem that I know a lot of people have.

我知道社交焦慮對很多人來說是一項大難題。

過去簡單式

And I'll be honest with you guys, it was something that I struggled with a lot in high school as well as my early days of college.

老實說，我在高中和大學剛開始時，也曾與社交焦慮症抗爭。

祈使句型

See the reason we feel anxious especially in large groups of people we don't know is because of what goes on in our head.

我們在一大群不認識的人之中感到特別焦慮的原因，是因為腦中的想法。

The moment you walk into a party, you immediately think: "what are they whispering about, what do people think about me, am I acting like a fool?"

你一走進派對，以下的想法立刻冒出：「他們在竊竊私語什麼？別人對我的想法是什麼？我是不是表現得很蠢？」

And because of these thoughts we start feeling anxious, we feel like everyone is watching us waiting for us to mess up.

我們因為這些想法而開始感到焦慮，覺得所有人都在等我們搞砸一切。

And this was basically me, every party I went to I was a nervous wreck but they all changed for me, once I started reading a book called What Everybody Is Saying.

我就是如此，每一場派對我都緊張得要命，但在讀了《FBI 教你讀心術：看穿肢體動作的真實訊息》這本書後，我因此改變了。

It's a book written by an ex-FBI agent who teaches you how to read people by looking at their body language.

這本書是由前 FBI 探員所撰寫的，他教你如何從身體語言讀出他人的想法。

He teaches you things like oh if someone is crossing their arms, they're adopting a defensive position which means they either feel threatened or they're unhappy with the situation.

像是如果有人雙手交叉，他們是在採取一個防衛性的姿勢，代表他們不是感到威脅就是對情況感到不滿。

Another one is oh you can tell if someone wants to leave a conversation by the direction their feet are pointed.

另一個是藉由看人們腳的朝向，分辨他們是否想要結束對話。

If her feet are pointed at the door, you know she wants to get out of there as soon as possible—things like this.

如果她的腳朝向門口，就表示她想要盡快離開那個地方。

And once you learn this stuff once you internalize these concepts, you start noticing them more.

一旦你得知並內化這些概念，你就會開始更加注意它們。

You notice how people are standing where their feet are pointed.

你會注意人們的站姿和他們腳的朝向。

You can tell who's nervous who's having a good time.

你可以辨別出緊張的人和度過愉快時光的人。

You can kind of guess where a person's state of mind is that and what happens next is something very very powerful.

可以猜測一個人的心理狀態和接下來會發生的事是很棒的。

Instead of focusing on yourself all the time, your thoughts become focused on the people around you.

與其總是關注自己，你開始注意到身邊的人。

So the next time you're in a social gathering, it's no longer: "oh what are people thinking about me, oh do I look awkward?"

所以下次你參加社交聚會時，你不再想：「人們對我的想法是什麼？我看起來尷尬嗎？」

It becomes: "oh that's interesting, it looks like he's not having a good time I wonder why."

而是想：「這很有趣，我想知道為何他看起來玩得不愉快。」

Or: "oh that's interesting it looks like she is not very interested in him I wonder why."

或是想：「這很有趣，我想知道為何她看起來對他不是很感興趣。」

And once your dots become focused about other people, you realize that no one is really thinking about you.

一旦你專注於他人，你理解到沒人對你有任何想法。

Most people are in their own head thinking about themselves.

大多數人的腦中只會想著他們自己。

And once you internalize this once you've proven to yourself that this is true, something very special happens.

一旦你內化這概念並向自己證明這是千真萬確的，特別的事情將會發生。

You realize that nobody is watching you or what you do.

你發現沒人在看你或注意你在做什麼。

Once you internalize this concept, your social anxiety can literally disappear overnight.

一旦你將這概念內化，你的社交焦慮症可以在一夜之間消失得無影無蹤。

So for those of you who really struggle social anxiety, start learning about body language and start watching other people.

深受社交焦慮所苦的人可以去學習身體語言並將注意力放在他人身上。

I guarantee you it will change the way you think and feel around others.

我向你保證，這會改變當你在他人旁邊時的思考和感受方式。

It's no longer going to be "me me me me me," it becomes "you you you."

不再一直想著自己，而會開始想到他人。

And funny enough, when you start watching out for others, when you start giving a damn about how they feel in a social situation, guess what, they start liking you a whole lot more.

有趣的是，當你開始注意他人或在乎他人在社交情況下的感受時，他們開始更加喜歡你。