Name: 交不到朋友？讓別人喜歡你的小技巧 (This Psychological Trick Will Make People Like You (Animated))
Uploaded: 2020-07-28T21:01:10.000Z
Duration: 5 min 4 s

Do you want to become friends with the popular kids, or the successful people, or even the famous people?

你想成為受歡迎小孩的朋友、成功人士的朋友，或甚至名人的朋友嗎？

to 不定詞

Do you want to be the person that everyone else wants to be friends with?

你想成為那種大家都想跟你當朋友的人嗎？

Well, you're about to learn the simple trick that will make all of this happen.

現在你將學到一個簡單訣竅，會讓這一切發生。

I want you to think back to your first day of high school where you were feeling nervous and scared because you didn't really know anyone.

我要你回想高中的第一天，你很緊張、害怕，因為你不認識任何人。

And seeing all the attractive girls and the popular kids probably made you feel a little shy.

看見那些有魅力的女孩和受歡迎的小孩，讓你有點害羞。

And the only thing that you really wanted was to be liked and accepted by the other kids.

你想要的唯一一件事，是被其他小孩喜歡和接受。

I can still remember looking at those popular kids, and thinking to myself: "How happy and how complete my life would be if I could just hang out with them."

我還記得看著那些受歡迎的小孩，我心想：「如果可以跟他們出去玩，我的人生該有多快樂和圓滿啊！」

Or how excited I would feel if I could go to one of their exclusive parties.

或是如果我能到他們的獨家派對，我會有多興奮。

And then I could post pictures with them on social media showing everyone that I was one of the cool kids.

我就可以在社群媒體上放跟他們的合照，昭告大家我也很潮。

Because I really wanted them to like me, I was always very cautious not to say the wrong thing around them, or to bring up something that I thought they would think is lame or stupid.

因為我真的很希望他們會喜歡我，我總是很謹慎，不要講錯話、不要講一些他們可能會覺得很爛或很笨的話。

This behavior is known as walking on eggshells, and I walked on those eggshells throughout my entire high school life going all the way into my college years.

這個行為很戰戰兢兢，像在蛋殼上走路，而且我這樣度過我的高中生活，直到進入大學。

I did have friends during this time, but even the people who did like me, did not like all of me.

我在這期間是有朋友的，但喜歡我的人，並沒有喜歡全部的我。

They liked the parts of me that I was comfortable showing them.

他們喜歡我敢展現給他們看的部分。

I never really opened up about my hobbies that I thought were stupid, or my interests that I thought were weird.

我沒有真的告訴他們我的興趣，因為我覺得可能很笨、很怪。

At that time in my life the only person who knew the real me was the person who would stare back at me in the mirror every single morning.

在那段期間，真正了解我的人，是每天早晨會從鏡子回看自己的我。

And I think this is how a lot of people live their lives, when they meet somebody new, they put on their fake public persona.

而我想，這是很多人過生活的方式，遇上新的人時，他們會戴上公眾面具。

The things that they say and the things that they do will always be influenced by who they are hanging around with.

他們說的話和他們做的事，會被當下在身邊的人影響。

And almost always they will keep certain things about themselves a secret.

而且大多時候，他們不會把一些自身的特定事情說出來。

And those sharp eggshells are just always there.

I think most of us here can agree that we don't really like people who are fake, we don't like it when someone acts overly nice all the time, or when someone pretends to be our friend, or pretends to sympathize with us.

我想大部份的人都同意，我們不喜歡虛偽的人，我們不喜歡總是太友善的人、我們不喜歡有時別人假裝是我們的朋友、也不喜歡別人假裝同理自己。

We don't like people who pretend to be someone who they aren't.

我們不喜歡別人假裝成另一個人。

But the irony of this is that, a lot of people who say they don't like people who are fake, are usually, to some extent, fake themselves.

但諷刺的點就是，很多說自己不喜歡虛偽的人，其實某種程度上，都會包裝自己。

But most of the time they aren't being fake because they are trying to manipulate someone, or trying to take advantage of someone.

但大多時候，他們虛偽不是為了要操控別人，也不是為了佔誰便宜。

They are being fake because they are scared.

They're scared that if they express who they truly are, their family will be disappointed in them, or their friends just won't want to talk to them anymore.

他們害怕如果展露出真正的樣子，他們的家人會感到失望、朋友會不想再跟他們說話。

They are scared that the world they live in will reject their authentic self, which is a very scary thought for most people.

他們害怕世界會拒絕他們真正的樣子，對大多數人而言這念頭很嚇人。

The problem with this though, is that the longer you walk on those eggshells, the sharper they will become.

但問題在於，走在蛋殼上越久，蛋殼會變得越銳利。

And if you can't become comfortable living your authentic self, then you will slowly start to lose your sense of identity.

而如果你對展現真正的自己不自在，你就會慢慢失去自我認同感。

事實上，這描述了大部份的人。

Their entire identity is just a collection of external influences from things like their parents, or their friends, or social media, or society.

他們的認同感完全來自外在影響，像是父母、朋友、社群媒體、社會。

However, there is a very small group of people who do live that authentic life that's not based on fear, and it's these people that are usually liked the most.

但是，有一小群人過著真正有自我的生活，他們沒有被恐懼約束，而那些人通常是最被喜歡的。

The simple trick that will get people to like you is to stop consciously trying to get other people to like you.

讓人們喜歡你的簡單技巧，就是停止有意識地讓別人去喜歡你。

The moment when you can go up to that really attractive girl, or that really popular kid, or even that famous person without caring if they like you or not, is the moment when a lot of them will start to like you because you will be one of the very few people on planet earth who is not being fake.

當你可以上前跟有魅力的女生、很受歡迎的小孩、有名的人講話，而不去擔心他們會不會喜歡你，就是他們開始喜歡你的時刻了，因為你已經成為地球上少數不虛假的人。

Wait, Mitch, what if I meet somebody who is authentically a horrible person, or a crazy person who wants to hurt people?

等等，Mitch，如果我遇到的是真正糟糕、瘋狂又想傷害人的人呢？

Are you saying that I will like them because they are being authentic?

你的意思是，我會喜歡他們，因為他們很真實？

Obviously, there are some exceptions, and of course, there will always be some people who just won't like you no matter what.

當然這會有例外，也會有人不管怎樣就是不喜歡你。

Maybe you have a single character trait that they just really hate for whatever reason.

也許你有些人格特質，他們就是討厭。

Or I don't know, maybe you remind them in some way of their childhood bully.

我也不知道欸，也許你讓他們想到孩童時的霸凌者。

They might actually be jealous of the fact that you have the power to be authentic, and they don't.

他們也許嫉妒你有展現真實的能力，而他們沒有。

But most of the time, within reason, if you're being real people will like you, or at the very least, they will respect and appreciate the fact that you are being authentic as opposed to being fake like most of the world.

但大多時候，在合理狀況下，你很真實的話，人們就會喜歡或至少尊重、欣賞你，因為你和世上大多虛假的人相反。

If you want to actually become that authentic person, then you need to learn how to stop caring what other people think of you.

如果你想變成真正真實的人，你需要學會無視其他人是怎麼看你的。

And if you want to learn how to do that, then click the screen now and watch the video that I made on it, and I'll see you there.

如果你想學的話，點擊螢幕看我做的相關影片，我們那裡見囉！