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  • -Welcome to "The Tonight Show."

  • -Thank you, Franny.

  • Can you say it? Franny's younger than you.

  • How can -- she can say it and you can't?

  • -Welcome to "The Tonight Show."

  • -Oh, Winnie, thank you so much.

  • We have a great show tonight.

  • All new. -Starring Jimmy Fallon.

  • -Oh! [ Laughter ]

  • You never said that before.

  • Uh-oh. Do you have anything else you want to say?

  • -Poopy face?

  • -Let's just start the show.

  • -♪ We in the house

  • -Tonight, join Jimmy and his guests...

  • Ricky Gervais...

  • Billy Porter...

  • musical guest The Lumineers...

  • and the legendary Roots crew.

  • It's "The Tonight Show: At Home Edition."

  • -♪ We in the house, y'all

  • And now here's Jimmy.

  • -Hi, everybody. Welcome to "The Tonight Show: At Home Edition."

  • My name is Jimmy Fallon.

  • I'm so happy to have you guys watching the show.

  • It's Tuesday today, and Tuesday I say

  • is just one day closer to Friday, isn't it, though?

  • It's definitely not yesterday.

  • It is -- And it's not quite tomorrow.

  • It's almost, though. It's almost tomorrow.

  • It's basically Wednesday.

  • Let's just act like it's Wednesday. But it's Tuesday.

  • It's great. Monday was great.

  • Done. Forward. Onward, upward.

  • That's what we're doing, okay?

  • We're in this together. Let's make this work.

  • Thanks for watching, everybody.

  • Hey, we're working with -- Salesforce really stepped up.

  • So any donation you make to World Central Kitchen, okay,

  • Salesforce will match it up to $250,000.

  • That's maje. All you have to do --

  • There's words on the back of this.

  • Text "Meals" to 80100.

  • And then that will be --

  • There's something else on the back of this. Sorry.

  • -What is it?

  • -I don't know. It's something for you.

  • -[ Laughs ] -Sorry about that.

  • Winnie drew on the back. -A love note?

  • -It's a love note.

  • This is not my handwriting so -- -[ Laughs ]

  • Something you want to tell me? -Interesting.

  • -Yeah, it is interesting.

  • Okay, so, alright, that is that.

  • We have a good show tonight. We'll get to that.

  • But first, let's get to some jokes.

  • Guys, it is week seven of the quarantine,

  • and we're running out of ways to entertain the kids.

  • Today, my wife and I told the kids

  • to go outside and try to find Kim Jong-un.

  • Rumors continue to swirl

  • about whether Kim Jong-un is dead or alive.

  • It's crazy. Who knew Kim Jong-un

  • would turn into this generation's Tupac, you know?

  • Yesterday, President Trump said he knows Kim Jong-un's condition

  • but can't talk about it now.

  • In response, Trump's entire staff

  • told him to pretend the coronavirus is Kim Jong-un.

  • But today, South Korean officials said

  • they know the whereabouts of Kim Jong-un.

  • Yeah, they think he's developing his new rocker persona,

  • Chris Jong-Gaines.

  • Could be.

  • This is nice. I saw that Facebook and Instagram

  • are holding a big multi-hour graduation ceremony

  • for the entire class of 2020.

  • Sounds cool until they start reading the names

  • of everyone graduating this year.

  • Aaron Aaronson.

  • Aaron Aaronton.

  • [ Laughs ]

  • Aaron Aaronwon.

  • A virtual graduation will feature appearances by Oprah,

  • Miley Cyrus, Lil Nas X,

  • and former Ohio governor John Kasich.

  • Kids were like, "OMG, former Ohio governor John Kasich!

  • Are you kidding me?"

  • I read that a Girl Scout's branch just received federal aid

  • to make up for lost cookie sales.

  • Yep, the quarantine has been tough on Girl Scouts.

  • So if you can get some Girl Scout cookies,

  • please order some.

  • But also to try and boost sales, the Girl Scouts are releasing

  • some new limited edition flavors.

  • For instance, there is Used-to-be-Thin Mints.

  • Then there's Tag-Alones.

  • There's also Do-Si-Don't Touch Your Face.

  • Then there's Zoomacaroons.

  • And, of course, Presidential Bleach Bites.

  • Next, there's S'more Time Homeschooling your Kids.

  • Who couldn't use that, huh? There's also

  • I-think-I'm-about-to Ginger Snaps.

  • And, of course, their best seller, Liquor-Doodles.

  • Good luck, girls. They all sound like winners.

  • Listen to this. I read that secret salons

  • are now opening up around the country.

  • 100 years ago, the mob was operating speakeasies.

  • Now they're like, "You need a perm?

  • You should go to this address. Okay?

  • Okay, we got manis, we got pedis.

  • What do you want? Mani/pedi?"

  • This isn't good. In North Carolina,

  • a dog has tested positive for COVID-19.

  • So if you thought teaching your dog how to shake was hard,

  • good luck teaching him how to elbow bump instead.

  • Do dogs have elbows?

  • And finally, I saw that U.P.S. is using drones

  • to deliver medication to a retirement community in Florida.

  • So don't panic if you see a bunch of old people

  • screaming at the sky, "Where's my pills?"

  • That is our monologue, everybody.

  • Oh, man, we have a good show for you tonight.

  • The very funny Ricky Gervais is on the show.

  • I asked Ricky what charity he wanted to go to. He said,

  • "I just don't want to play a game on your show.

  • I just don't want to play a game."

  • And -- That's not -- That almost sounded like --

  • Who is -- Jason...

  • Statham. I don't sound like Ricky Gervais.

  • "Ricky Gervais doesn't sound like that.

  • That's more like Jason Statham, like that.

  • He talks like that.

  • Yeah, what you doing?

  • What's your name?" Jimmy?

  • "Yeah, Jimmy's not a name for an adult man, is it?"

  • No? James?

  • "That's better. Jim."

  • Alright, call me Jim.

  • "What you do?" I'm, like, a talk-show host.

  • "Don't really like chat shows."

  • 'Cause he said that to me once.

  • But Ricky Gervais is on the show, and he loves to laugh.

  • I love playing games with him,

  • because he doesn't like to play games with me.

  • So I think that's what makes it fun.

  • Also, gosh,

  • Emmy-winner, Tony-winner, Billy Porter on the show.

  • Actorsfund.org.

  • He's probably won more awards, as well,

  • I'm probably not listing, but I do love Billy Porter.

  • I will say he definitely wins at the red carpet.

  • I mean, that dude just scores.

  • He's unbelievable. I love him.

  • I mean, the hat that opens up?

  • [ Whistles ] That was the best move.

  • And we got great, great, great music.

  • Man, we love them.

  • The Lumineers are on the show, and we love The Lumineers.

  • Let's see, they're doing "Salt in the Sea"

  • from their album "III."

  • But this is what they're doing.

  • They're working with MusiCares,

  • and they have a COVID-19 relief fund

  • for folks in the music community affected by the pandemic.

  • So you text "Lumineers" to 41444,

  • or you text "Meals" to 80100.

  • This is the new way to donate. Just do that.

  • Your phone will take care of the rest of the stuff.

  • It's amazing stuff, guys.

  • You'll be helping a lot of great people.

  • You know, it's Tuesday. There's no real thing

  • of what we're actually doing on our show. There's no set things.

  • But now and then we like to have a routine,

  • but this one thing we started doing,

  • 'cause I have no guests and everything.

  • And -- We do have guests, and it's great now. It's awesome.

  • But when we first started, I asked my wife

  • if I could ask her some questions,

  • 'cause she's our camera person,

  • and she does not want to be on camera.

  • But for this, she'll make the exception,

  • just 'cause we're here, we're home, we're trying our best,

  • we're doing our stuff. So this is "Ask the Fallons."

  • You had questions for me, my daughters, my wife.

  • You had silly questions. You had personal questions.

  • We're down with all of them, so, we appreciate them.

  • So now I'm going to go for a safe walk around my house

  • with a mask, with my wife.

  • This is "Ask the Fallons."

  • -♪ Ask the Fallons, Ask the Fallons

  • -Okay, here we are. This is "Ask the Fallons."

  • Thank you very much. You sent in a bunch of questions.

  • We have the masks on.

  • -Yes.

  • We are going to be very careful.

  • -If we see any people,

  • we have to put the mask -- -We're putting them on.

  • -Yeah. I'm going to hang one from the ear.

  • -I'm just not going to do that.

  • -Okay. -[ Laughs ]

  • -Alright. Ready? -Yeah.

  • -Alright.

  • Nancy, you said last week your dream is to open a store.

  • What kind of store?

  • -Um, that's probably why the dream hasn't happened yet.

  • [ Chuckles ] No, my store would be a treasure store,

  • vintage, one-of-a-kind things, gifts.

  • Not expensive, not annoying,

  • but just a place you could go in and just find,

  • like, the best painting that you were looking for,

  • that one-of-a-kind original pencil holder

  • from someone a long time ago,

  • that kind of stuff. Not clothing. Just --

  • -Not new stuff? -Not new.

  • -But a gift shop? -Loved.

  • Things that have been loved before.

  • -Oh, okay. -Not really a gift shop,

  • but yeah, a place you --

  • It would probably have a very specific customer,

  • like me. [ Laughs ]

  • And then I'd have to give everything up.

  • -How did you know you were ready to have kids?

  • -We were ready when we got married.

  • I got married later in life.

  • And you love kids, and I love kids.

  • And --

  • -That was always the plan, right?

  • -That was just the plan.

  • It wasn't even a, like, "Are you ready?"

  • It was just, like, "Now how are you going to do this?"

  • And that was a whole other question.

  • [ Laughs ]

  • -Yeah. -But we did it!

  • -That was an interesting time.

  • -Yeah. So that was five -- five years

  • of really, really, really, really, really deciding

  • not to give up and to --

  • At a certain point, it just had to become almost like a job,

  • 'cause it's way too emotional to live emotionally through that.

  • So you just keep going and going and going.

  • And if you really want something,

  • you just make it happen.

  • And you have all these things where you go,

  • "Yeah, but I would never do that.

  • Yes, but I would never do that. But I would never --

  • And then all of a sudden, you're like, "Hey, I'll do that.

  • If it's for my family, I'll do anything."

  • So I think if anyone's out there

  • having the dream, do not give up.

  • Because I realize, too, that unlike even becoming

  • like a multi-billionaire,

  • you can stumble upon a lottery ticket and win it

  • and win the lottery.

  • But you will not ever stumble upon a child

  • that will -- you can love and have as your family.

  • So don't give up.

  • Take bad weekends. Every time we got bad news,

  • we would go away for one weekend.