Today we are going to be talking about the most easy,

今天我們要來聊聊「史上最簡單, 最廢的樂器」

and useless instrument of them all.

這支塑膠做的垃 --

This plastic piece of trash—

直笛

The recorder.

相信大部分的人就算沒在學校吹過

I'm sure most of you have seen this already,

也都看過這玩意

if not played on it at school.

這是塑膠...

It's a plastic...toy.

玩具

An excuse of an instrument,

假扮成所謂的樂器

that requires zero talent whatsoever to play.

完全不需要任何音樂天賦就可以吹奏

It's just another one of those things

不過是門學校必修課程罷了

that you have to learn in school,

沒辦法藉它闖出一片天

where you can't make a career out of it.

是啊, 不過... 等等!

Yeah, but...wait!

Eddy 你看

Eddy, look at this.

Decca Classics 簽下了16歲的木笛演奏家

"Decca Classics signs 16-year- old recorder player."

- 什麼?! - 什麼鬼...

- What?! - What the...

絕對是騙人的

This must be a joke.

她還上了 Eurovision!

She's also in Eurovision!

不不不... 好, 我們來看一下

No, no, no, no, no...alright, let's check this out.

看到底是怎樣

See what it's all about.

為什麼那裡有支電話？

Why is there a telephone there?

什麼?

What? *laughs*

什麼?!

What?! *laughs*

靠北，歐麥尬

Dude, holy crap. Oh my God!

以上

Well, there you go.

是個實實在在的職業呢

It's a legitimate, professional career.

不對不對不對，來看看我們做不做得到

No, no, no, no, no. Let's see if we can do it.

讓我回想一下怎麼吹

Let me just remind (myself) how's—how to play.

吹... C

Take the...C.

[ 以下片段可能造成聽損，TwoSet 將不負任何賠償責任 ] [ 建議戴上耳塞觀賞，使用耳機者請好自為之 ]

(Pressing) All of them is lower C.

全按就是低音C

Yeah.

[ 完美 ]

One off is D.

沒錯

Then, E.

放開一指是D

Then F.

再放, E

G, and then you do that, and it's D.

F

*plays high D*

G，然後這樣，是D

*plays high E*

[ E ]

*plays high F*

[ G/F ]

*plays high G*

[ F ]

*plays out of tune high A*

[ G ]

Alright, let's see if we can play like her.

[ A?? ]

Challenge accepted.

[ 為什麼... ]

Scissors paper rock, whoever loses goes first.

好吧，來看看我們能否像她那樣吹奏

Scissors, paper, rock!

接受挑戰

*laughs*

猜拳，輸的先來

- Oh. I can relax. - Ready.

剪刀石頭布

*nervous laughter*

- 哦，我可以休息一下了 - 準備好沒？

Alright, you go to the end of the phrase.

[ 馬上後悔 ]

It keeps going...

好，就到樂句結束

Up to there. I got this, recorder's easy.

還沒完...

Oh s***...

到這。我行的，直笛這麼簡單

What the hell...

哦穴...

You gotta go down an octave.

這殺小？

Got the A!

你得低一個八度吹

Dude!

[為雜音致歉, 這是各位觀賞 TwoSet 影片必須付出的代價]

Dude...

A 有吹對

Dude, that technique...

[ 哪個？ ]

That's you man. You got this!

欸！

Alright.

[ 幾分鐘後... ]

Dude there's actually so much technique involved.

[ 夠了 ]

Oh...I...out of oxygen.

欸...

Maybe it's—we need the nose man.

欸，這演奏技巧...

Oh my nose is blocked.

這些是你的，你可以的！

- My nose is blocked, I'm sick... *laughs* - Can't even do that.

好

My nose is blocked. *laughs*

[ hen精準 ]

Maybe—no, it's 'cause we got cheap ones.

真的是需要超多高難度演奏技巧

Dude, mine's not even aligned right.

哦... 我... 缺氧了

That's why, she probably has like a Strad recorder,

也許我們該用鼻子吹

worth like, 10 million dollars...it's probably why.

啊，我鼻塞

Just released the world's first 24 karat gold...

- 我鼻子塞住了，感冒... - 連用鼻子吹都無法

...electric violin.

我鼻塞啦

I can just imagine her like...

也許... 不是，因為我們的直笛是便宜貨

What, every other kid in like schools, who's just like...

欸，我的甚至沒有裝好

Uhh!

就說嘛，她拿的說不定是史特拉底瓦里直笛

Bro, are you ready? Are you ready?

價值一千萬之類的... 所以囉

*laughs*

剛剛發行全球首款24k金...

Uh...

電小提琴

*coughs*

我可以想像她...

- Uh, what...how does the battle Naruto thing go again? - Uh...

就是，學校裡的其他同學，只會...

Oh yeah yeah...! *laughs*

呃！

Ohh...wait!

好了嗎？你聽你聽

Ohh...right...!

[ 西貝流士小提琴協奏曲 ]

*laughs*

- 呃那個... 火影忍者遊戲主題曲怎麼唱？ - 呃...

Alright guys!

哦，對對對，哈哈哈！

Thanks so much for watching.

喔... 等等！

Be like...that recorder Ling Ling girl.

喔... 對！

Just...while all your friends are in primary school,

*plays Mii theme music*

playing hot cross buns,

好吧大家

You better be practicing 40 hours a day on recorder.

感謝收看

Uh...I think we might've found a...

學學那位直笛霖霖女孩哦

Almost Ling Ling on the recorder, not quite.

你唸小學的時候, 朋友都在吹兒歌Hot Cross Bun

Practice the recorder if you're in primary school.

你最好每天給我練40小時的直笛。

And um...

呃... 我覺得我們應該找到了...

Like and subscribe!

直笛界的霖霖, 幾乎啦

Alright, I'm out.

如果你還是小學生, 一定要乖乖練直笛哦

*laughs* Too much, it's too much.

然後呢...