字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 - Hello everyone, my name is Joe Platonic. Or as most people know me, the Tigger King. (chuckles) What makes me so unique is that most people, I'm their favorite Winnie the Pooh character when they're a child, but I didn't even know what a Winnie the Pooh character was until I went and saw that motion picture, "Christopher Robin." In that movie is that sweet little Tigger fella and I have to tell ya, I fell in love. First moment I saw that little rascal on camera, you know, I just, I was in, I was all in. (upbeat music) Yeah, so this is basically where I shoot the Joe Platonic TV show. This one is my first Tigger that I ever bought. Very proud of it. It smells like cat (beep) because I bought it from a lady on Ebay. The bobble head's pretty fun. Look at that. (plastic clacks) I love to show off my collection to my friends. They see it and they're like, "Whoa! "That's crazy, man!" (chuckles) - Man, I wish I could do something cool like that. Collecting Tiggers? Man, that's, that's brave, you know? That takes a warrior spirit, you know what I mean? I'd pay $11 to see something cool like that. (beep) I'd pay upwards of 12, man. - Of course you can't collect this massive amount of Tiggers without creating a few enemies. - Hi there, I'm Carole Baskets I love Winnie the Pooh and I bet you can guess which character is my favorite. Piglet is obviously the best character on the show. Subtle, smart, very cute. We have a lot in common. - Carole Baskets! She's a thorn in my side! She's a black fly in my Chardonnay! She's a death row pardon just a little too late. - [Interviewer] Isn't it ironic? - No, it isn't ironic! She's a (beep) (beep) who always gets in my way and accuses me of things I ain't do! - I'll say this, what kind of a monster collects memorabilia and takes 'em out of the packaging? It's inhumane! Joe Platonic is hurting those Tiggers, and for what? Some likes on a YouTube video? Disgusting. Now I know what you're saying. Carole, how come you have memorabilia out of the packaging? Well I'll tell you what, these are my rescues. Found those two at a garage sale in San Luis Obispo. They could've been torn to shreds by some four-year-old, but no. I scooped 'em up, now I take good care of 'em. Instead of parading 'em around like a little pet in a little TV show. - Welcome back to Joe Platonic TV, the number one Tigger source. Today we're doing a very special unboxing. We got a special limited edition Tigger. Oh wow, she's a beauty. Watch out, she might getcha! (chuckles) It's not that easy to come across these guys right here. They were discontinued after a large dog choked on one. Scar, brother, help me! Long live the king. No! Huh. Say hello to my little friend. - I could watch Joe's show all day everyday, man. Hell, I fall asleep to it every night. Makes me feel like Joe's in the room with me petting my head, lulling me to sleep, you know? It's cool, man. Sometimes I get jealous of those Tiggers. I wish Joe would play with me like that, you know? - [Interviewer] And what do you think about Carole Baskets show? - (scoffs) I got two words for you, man. It is so (beep) stupid and dumb. - Hi there pretty pigs and piglets. It's Carole Baskets with another video. I'm here to let you know that it's so cruel what Joe is doing to those Tiggers. You wouldn't do that to a real animal, would you? Let a tiger out of it's cage? Wait, yes you would. You're wrong to keep them in there. Tiggers and tigers should be in boxes, not cages. That doesn't. Tigger, tiger, uh. This isn't coming out right, huh. Okay, now this piece right here is my number one favorite to date. The details on this thing are exquisite. I mean if I took it out of the box, you'd be amazed. But I won't. But you would be. I paid $2500 for this thing, which is why I will never remove it from the box. - [Interviewer] Then how do you know it's in there? - What do you mean? - [Interviewer] Like if the seller knew you wouldn't open it, they could just mail you a very expensive box. - No, I know. But it's not though. He's in here, Piglet's in here, right? No, he's in here. He's in here. - Yeah, you could say my show's pretty popular. I got 50,000 subscribers on YouTube. - [Interviewer] Okay yeah, sure, but don't most of your videos have between 85 and 95% downvotes? - Yes, apparently it's a show that some people hate watch, but they are watching. Yeah, I try not to read the comments 'cause they say things like, "How is this grown ass man still playing with toys?" "This dude is a straight up ass (beep)." "I hope this guy T-I double goes and jumps off a cliff." It's pretty clever. "Where is Anthony?" I don't get that one. "This dude puts the poo in Winnie the Pooh." Okay, all right. Well that one's probably from Carole. (beep) Carole Baskets. - Yeah, Joe spends a lot of his airtime (beep) on Carole Baskets, man. And I'm not gonna lie, it's my favorite part. His face gets really red. - Carole Baskets. Carole Baskets. Um, Carole Baskets. You know that's gotta be Carole Baskets. Carole (beep) Baskets. Tigger, did Carole Baskets kill her husband? I heard the CIA is tracking Carole Baskets. I know you're watching this. You wanna come over here? You wanna get shot? This is gonna be used against me in the court of law. I don't give two Tigger (beep). I'm gonna find you, Carole Baskets. (beep) you, Carole Baskets. Where if I don't, I'm gonna pay someone to find you and kill you. I'll (beep) kill you one day, Carole Baskets. Come at me, Carol. Try, I dare you, Carole Baskets. - [Interviewer] You talk about her a lot. - Well Carole Baskets is a frickin' lunatic. She's made it her whole goddamn life's mission to ruin my life! Have you seen that website she put up slandering me? - Hoohoohoowoulddothis.com. It's a website all about outing a monster. Did you know that Joe Platonic put a stuffed Tigger into a Tigger mug? How messed up is that? Not only did he ruin a perfectly beautiful stuffed animal, but he ruined the mug too. Double whammy. - [Interviewer] Are you crying?. - It just makes me so mad! You know mugs are meant for Mountain Dew, not Tiggers! - [Interviewer] Tell me about Trevor. - Oh yeah, Trevor's one of my husbands. - [Interviewer] One of? - Yeah, actually I have two, Trevor and Darryl. The three of us met online in a Winnie the Pooh chat group and the three of us fell in love immediately. - [Interviewer] Have you met in real life? - No, but that's what makes our love so special, you know? We met online, we chat online. Hell, we even got married online! But it works for us. - Well, we're only in it for the meth. - [Interviewer] So you're just pretending to be in love with Joe? - Yep, there's only one think we love and that's God. - Meth. - Oh, it's very much the meth, yeah. So, we send him pictures of our feet and then he sends us the meth. - Yeah, it was really hard when we lost Trevor. - [Interviewer] He passed away? - No, he lost his login information, so we can't hang in the Winnie the Pooh chat anymore. Rest in peace, sweet man. (lips smack) - Yeah man, Joe had it all. True king, man. He had everything. Love, Tiggers, a kick ass YouTube show, an impressive bulge. He had, like, sparkly shirts. I don't know where you find that. I think he had to make it. I think he had to go to JOANN Fabric and make that. But it all changed when Joe put a hit out on Carole Baskets. - Allegedly. - He tried to have me killed, the psycho. (slurps water) - It still hasn't been proven in the court of law, okay? - [Interviewer] And when is your court date? - Friday. Oh (beep), that's soon. (suspenseful music) - [Carole] Well, look who slithered into the courtroom like the snake he is. - [Joe] Why don't you take your clever words and shove them up your butt, you butt hole? - [Carole] I am not the butt hole. It is you who is the butt hole, butt hole. - [Joe] If you're not the butt hole, then why do you smell like (beep)? - [Carole] That is Chanel No. 5, you uncultured swine. - [Joe] Swine? You're the one dressed like a pig. - [Carole] (gasp) Piglet is not a pig! He is pig adjacent. - [Bailiff] All rise for the honorable Judge Brown. - [Judge Brown] First witness. - [Prosecutor] Tom Caufield, did Joey Platonic offer you money to kill Carole Baskets? - [Tom] Yeah, he gave me 56 bucks. - [Judge Brown] Guilty. (gavel bangs) (metal clangs) - [Joe] They locked me up for 23 years. 20 for putting out a hit on Carole and three for mailing meth to my sweet, sweet husbands, which I did not do. Well, at the very least, at least my music career is going viral. (relaxed music) ♪ 'Cause I bounce with Tigger ♪ ♪ And Tigger bounce with me ♪ ♪ He made me feel bigger ♪ ♪ And he made me feel free ♪ ♪ 'Cause I bounce with Tigger ♪ ♪ And Tigger bounce with me ♪ ♪ He made me feel bigger ♪ ♪ And he made me feel free ♪ - [Interviewer] Uh, I saw a picture of you and your husband in the living room, but I haven't seen him around. Uh, where is he? - Oh, I killed him. - So yeah, this is basically where I shoot the blow. (laughs) Blow tectonic? The blow tectonic. It's a sexual earthquake. - [Interviewer] If you keep all your Piglets in the box, why don't you leave the posters in the protective tubing that they come in? - Well those are posters. They don't have feelings, honey. It's just paper. - [Interviewer] But stuffed animals don't feel either. - I feel like you're patronizing me and you don't wanna patronize Carole Baskets, sweetheart. - I'd give my left nut to see that and that's saying something 'cause that nut's all I got left. - Get it? It's like the Scarface thing but instead of a gun, his little friend is just a smaller Tigger. We have fun out here. Joe Platonic TV, all right. See you guys later. (beep) you, Carole Baskets. - Hi there, I'm Carole Baskets. (laughs) This is so stupid. - Oh no, look out, it's a tiger. It's my little baby (slurps) tiger and I love her. She's 400 years old. (chuckles) - You know what? I got two words to describe Carole Baskets' show. The dumbest (beep) bull (beep) (beep) piece of (beep) show I've ever (beep) seen in my whole (beep) life. It's the dumbest show ever (beep) made, man. (groans loudly) - Bet Carole Baskets can't do that. (groans loudly) I guess she can. - I'll miss you, buddy. (lips smack) You and your (beep) up teeth. I love you. Meth's a hell of a drug. - You can't understand the (beep) that's coming out of my mouth. (chuckles) We laugh, but we are very ill people. - I gotta go. Oh no, oh no, oh no, I gotta go. I became Australian. Oh my god. Oh no. Oh no brew. I got tigers. Tiggers! Now I don't even know what I'm doing. Oh, and just so you guys know, that's real. Hell yeah brother. What do you guys think? Should I keep it? Vote down in the comments below. - I'm here to let you know. (giggles) I'm here to tell you how cruel it is that Joe, what Joe is (beep). How cruel Joe is by taking those, dang it! You wouldn't take that? Hi, Carole. (laughs) Hi there, pretty pigs. Hey there, pretty pig and pig. Hey there, pretty pigs and piglets. How you doing? (laughs) What the (beep), Courtney? - Well wasn't that great except for my accent in this whole video? If you wanna see another video that doesn't have as bad of an accent, you can check out right here or maybe it's right there. I don't know, I've been in prison for quite some time. I don't have YouTube. Anyway, see you guys in "Tiger King 2: "The Search for More Money."