Please have a seat.

I'm assuming you were giving me a standing

ovation from your living room.

And if you weren't, why not?

Oh, boy.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That was for Portia.

She's giving me the heart hands.

Heart?

Or was that a circle?

You hungry?

You want a donut?

Anyway, I am all in my house and still in this chair.

I would move, but my leg fell asleep on Friday.

Can't feel a thing, and I just don't want to risk it.

If you're normally at work during the week

and you haven't seen my show, this is not

what it usually looks like.

Usually we have a big fancy set and a huge screen for pictures.

And usually I wear a long flowing wig and a gown.

Thank you, Andy.

You're welcome.

Andy's outside.

If you don't know Andy, he's average.

By the way, I've never worn a wig.

This is all me, real me--

plus my butt pads.

Oh, more heart hands from Portia.

No-- oh, you do want a donut.

Sorry-- OK.

The point is, I have short hair, which means

that I have to cut it a lot.

And usually I cut it every few weeks.

And I like to change my hair.

If you've seen the show before, I change it a lot.

But since quarantine, I can't cut my hair

or get it cut because the salons are closed.

And I'm still not desperate enough to go to Petco Groomer.

I won't do it.

And I'm not the only person who wishes they could

get their hair cut right now.

Andy has been complaining--

Andy you said you wanted a haircut, right?

I did not.

Really?

Well, let's take a look at your hair right now.

I mean, it's a lot, but I wear a baseball hat

until I can get to my girl Lisa, who cuts my hair.

You're looking a little like Lou Ferrigno.

All right, thank you.

I learned-- listen to this, Andy.

I'm listening.

One of the most--

What else do I have to do?

Just listen and don't talk back to me.

OK.

So I learned that one of the most googled things

right now is how to cut your own hair.

So we're not the only ones, Andy.

Everybody is freaking out like, what am I

going to do with my hair?

So I thought I would get the--

I mean, I'll say one of the best just to not offend other

hairdressers-- but he's pretty darn good--

to teach us how to do it.

He's done everyone's hair.

He does my hair, he does Jennifer Aniston's hair,

and I can't tell you anybody else because stylist, client--

He gave her the Rachel.

He created the Rachel.

That's right, Andy.

I just want you to know that.

Anyway, he's very talented.

So say Hello to Chris McMillan, everybody.

Chris.

Hi, Ellen.

Thank you so much for doing this.

first of all--

Thank you for having me.

So what are your thoughts about people cutting their own hair?

My thoughts right now, today, is this

is a great time to get your hair to grow and get healthy.

It's time for a lot of people to get their ends trimmed,

if anything.

Well, first of all--

He created the Rachel.

Yes, he created the Rachel.

What tools do people need?

Hi, Andy.

Hi!

The tools that you would need, if you're just at home,

obviously I have a full kit because I'm a hairdresser.

But if you're just at home, you probably

have kitchen scissors in your utility drawer.

Wow, you-- really?

These are fine.

Most people do.

I found these, I forgot I had them.

When I go to you're, like a Benihana chef.

You have about 19 scissors, and you'll cut a piece of hair

with one scissor, and then you'll

change to another scissor for another piece of hair.

Yeah.

What do the different scissors-- and then all of a sudden now

I'm learning we can use garden shears.

He's an artist--

You could use garden shears if you want.

I mean, it's-- they're a little big.

I bet if you went in to your kitchen, you could find these.

All right.

Guaranteed.

Let's cut hair.

Let's cut hair.

What are we doing?

So first of all, I have a wig.

This is Quarantina.

And I pulled this wig out because it's

got roots, which I'm sure a lot of people

are going to have roots.

Quarantina's bangs are a little long.

OK, let's cut bangs.

Should your hair be dry or wet when we cut it?

When you're doing your own haircut,

you should have your hair-- you should wash it, and blow dry

it, and then cut it from there.

Not normally, like, I would shampoo your hair

and cut your hair wet.

I think though, when you're doing your own,

you want to see kind of where it's going to fall.

So I blow dried my hair.

You look a little like Dave Grohl from the Foo Fighters.

You know what's so funny is I actually look like a rock star

more than a drag queen with--

That's what I just said.

With these on.

I kind of like it.

I think I might grow my hair out.

So take the bangs, take a little section--

just the front pieces--

take your kitchen scissors.

If you cut them too short, obviously,

if you cut them to where you think you want them,

they're going to bounce up and they're going to be like this.

I can't see, so I'm going by audio only, Ellen.

No, there's a mirror out there.

And these, well, then what you can do

is you can take the tips just kind of like--

Just the tips.

Yep, just the tips, Andy.

I'll show you how to layer it a little bit.

What you can do if you have fancy scissors,

you can take some thinning shears, which you can probably

order online.

You can order thinning shears for the tip.

I order these, these are just scissors.

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

He's using scissors worse than what I gave you.

What's he doing right now?

Just try and describe it to me.

He's kind of just chopping into--

Then just kind of go through.

He's going-- he's starting from higher up and then chopping in

down.

Just slowly.

Just a little.

Just kind of like run them through.

Nothing major.

You see, and that kind of softens the ends of it.

I'm telling you--

Yeah, you're kind of razoring.

We're talking, you want to work in a safe way.

We're doing-- we're not trying to make any major changes.

We're just softly trimming.

See how that is, it kind of like they layer nicely.

See Andy, this is what you would do.

I need you to talk me through this.

Andy is just cutting into without holding it.

I don't-- because my problem is thickness.

The less tension-- if you pull it too hard--

the less tension you put, the better off you're going to be.

If you pull it too hard, it's going to bounce up.

So really kind of use your free hand artistic kind

of abilities, but work in a soft way.

All right, let me ask you a question.

That's good bangs.

What if people don't have bangs?

You know how I have this problem area that

gets heavy on the corner over here, Chris?

You know how you always have to cut it?

So how do I cut into this heavy corner that I have?

So with people with short hair, the best thing to do

is there's different ways.

What you can do is pull it and feel it.

You know where that kind of thick area is.

Kind of pull it, use your hands, come on, Andy.

And then just kind of chip away at it.

But if you start off slow--

Well, you're not cutting anything

because you don't have hair.

You're pretending.

I'm cutting.

But you kind of get the gist.

I think you get it.

Yes, I get it.

Andy, what kind of questions do you have?

Yeah, well, my big thing is that it's not

about the length of my hair.

It doesn't grow long, it grows thick.

It's very Jewish hair.

Well, this is what I think with guys right now.

What you want to do is you want to clip the top of your hair

up and cut the sides.

You can use clippers.

Oh, I can do that.

Oh, I could have gotten clippers.

This is something and you would do.

Get a pair of clippers.

You can get them on Amazon.

They'll deliver them within, I think now it's about one week.

And use the bet--

I always say to use the biggest guard to start with.

You could always go shorter.

Always start off longer.

We're thinking safe right now.

When you start building confidence, the more we're

in quarantine, the longer you are away from your hairdresser,

the more confident you're going to be about cutting your hair.

All right, Chris.

Thank you so much for helping us out.

And we'll keep checking in.

I'll check Andy's-- I'm going to order some clippers for Andy

so he can do the sides like that.

That's a good idea.

Thank you so much, Chris.

You got it.

All right, tune in next time when I teach you

how to do your own Brazilian.

[LAUGHTER]