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I think that I and I assume millions of others of my generation
wanted some of the things that we did for our children
and our wives and ourselves.
Was explained by the fact that we were products of
what is called the depression. Sadly, they say
many young people today don't even know what that term means.
It means that everybody was poor.
Statistically almost everybody was poor for about 10 years.
Starting with the stock market crush and got worse after that.
And when you're really poor for a long time
you're a very different human being
than when you're middle class or rich.
At one point,
if they got only one point.
I ran away from home. I was 16 at the time.
I bummed around the country for a few weeks.
And I literally faced severe hunger.
I had seven dollars, they lasted exactly seven days.
After that, no money
and pretty quickly that converts into no food.
If you knew where there was a soup kitchen,
I guess you could go there, but
I didn't know about that, I was on the road
I didn't know where I was much less where other things were.
I would beg. Very quickly, you turn into a beggar.
You might think you would never do that, but you're wrong.
All you have to do is get hungry enough and you
beg your brains out.
It's the conventional dialogue that you saw on movies.
Hey Mark can you spare a dime or you know,
you got a quarter you're not using? I could use it.
And by large, you get ignored or you get contempt.
The only people who ever treated me cool,
not the only people, but almost
the only people who ever treated me kindly
were the Mexican Americans
I ran into in the South Western states.
One guy I remembered opened his own pockets
showed me they were empty and he shrugged.
I like that we had a nice moment together
because he was saying, I'm no better off than you are.
Another man said, wait Sinor and he went into a little
hovel railey and came out with a tortilla full of beans.
I loved him for that.
And there was a nice attitude
when I asked a Mexican
if he had anything that I could eat or
money to buy it with or whatever.
My fellow Anglos by a large treated me coldly and rudely.
I ate garbage at one point.
You will do that too and you'll thank the universe for the garbage.
Boy what a thrill, here I found a can with some beans in it.
I scooped out the ants,
blew them away
and then I ate the nine or ten beans I found there.
Boy was I happy to find those beans.
I was eating garbage and thrilled to do it.
So, that's very different from the life that we know
and since some of us had been through that,
that we wanted to be sure
that our children never went through that.
So, we tried to build up the little bank accounts and
get a car for the wife and a car for us.
Wash the you know, cars ourselves
with the horse with the kids.
There are many sweet beautiful aspects of that.
The best scene of all really is family life.
Why our society insist on making heroes men or women
out of people who can't stay married and have had 19 women.
God is that a stupid reversion of values.
Having one wife, staying married to her
that's what we're supposed to do.
It works out better with the kids.
But the American home began to fall apart I think seriously
partly because of effects of world war two in the 1950's.
That's when the divorce explosion as it's called began.
As to what I wanted for my kids there was on one side
the economic security
that they would have enough cloths,
enough food, and roof over their head so that you know,
be able to go to school, and have a bike and all those simple things.
Unfortunately,
well, I succeed in that
in regard for them.
I would not grade myself terribly high as a father might.
My sons are kind enough
to say complimentary things about me as a father,
but I was very far from satisfied
with myself as I look back at my role
in that particular drama.
I have been arguing ever since that.
Our culture and society is very good at training people.
We train them to pull teeth, to repair automobiles,
to paint fences, to do brain surgery.
We give them no training literally
and the two most important roles
they will ever be called upon to play
marriage partner and parent
and that you're just thrown into the water, hope you can swim.
Oh, I'm sorry you're getting divorced,
well, your children are sick.
And it's happening now in
probably half the cases of marriage in this country.
It's an ongoing tragedy.
I can see now that
anybody and certainly myself included, since I'm a body
need training of
just a book anything, a magazine article,
a priest talking to you on a park
be it something, we needed to be told
how to be a father for the man
and how to be a husband.
Nobody ever explained anything to me.
I hadn't seen any example of my own life.
My father died when I was an infant.
So, there was no example
and I simply never learned it.
So, I was finally able to piece myself together
and be a good father to my fourth son,
but I don't think I was that great a father.
I love my three sons, the first three
dearly, still do, we get along great.
But
I thought all you had to do was love them,
occasionally mention that fact to them,
give them a hug once in a while after they you know,
at least up to the age of seven or eight
and that was basically all there was to it. And boy was I wrong.
You have to spend much time with them.
You probably have noticed
that either in the 60's or a 1,000 years from now or last night,
the sons of public figures, sons and daughters of public figures
have a decided disadvantage,
whether those public figures are presidents
or senators or movie actors or rock stars.
The reason is very simple, daddy is on the road a lot.
He's out campaigning for office.
He's doing a concert in Nashville.
And suddenly he looks over his shoulder and
oh, junior is on dope.
Well, maybe the fact that I didn't see him that much
from two to fourteen had something to do with that.
You bet it did.