- Hi!

- I'm Jessica.

- And I'm Claudia.

- And we are the lesbian stereotype

who moved in together on the third date

and got engaged after, like, four months

and got married quite quickly

and spend every moment of every day together.

Much like most people are doing in the lockdown right now.

- Good thing we liked it; good thing we like it.

- Good thing we enjoy each other.

Saw a tweet the other day that was like,

"All relationships are now either long distance or 24/7."

So now we are all lesbians.

But we thought in this period of

enforced isolation together...

It's actually amazing and I love it!

- I know; I was like,

"We probably only have, like, six weeks more together."

(laughs)

- Yeah, we got sad the other day

thinking about life returning to normal

and Claudia having to go to work.

(pretends to cry)

- I was like, "Oh."

Like, where was it?

Norway.

No, Denmark. - Yeah, Denmark.

- Denmark is, like, lessened its lockdown already

and I was like, "Oh, maybe that will happen here,"

and I was like, "Oh, I'm not sure how I feel about that."

(both laugh)

- Oh no, we'll have to spend eight hours a day apart again.

We thought we'd check just to make sure

that we actually do know each other

as well as we think we do.

- Yeah, I mean, how long have we been together?

- Five and a half years.

Quite a while.

- We should know each other pretty well

and we spend all of our time together pretty much.

- Yeah, I'm not sure there's anything

we don't talk about, as well,

which is, like, amusing because I'm deaf

and Claudia can't speak particularly well.

- But I'm not bored of you.

- Huh?

- I'm not bored of you.

- I'm not bored of you either.

- Oh, good.

(kisses)

- There are many things that you know about me

that I do not know about myself

because I have no self-awareness.

(laughs)

I think if there are any questions in this quiz

that come up and you have the wrong answer.

- And I'd be like, "No."

- It's actually you have the right answer

and I input the wrong answer the first time.

- I'll just explain to you why you're wrong

and you'll be like, "Oh yeah."

- So I've done the questions first

and now we're gonna see whether Claudia gets them right.

- All right.

How well do you know Jessica?

- Oh, enter your name.

- Oh, please enter my name?

Beyonce!

That's the example, apparently.

- Why does it give example Amy and then Beyonce?

- Question one:

Is the idea of one true love

something Jessica can believe in?

Yes.

- Well...

- Question two:

Would Jessica rather be without the internet

or without a means of transportation?

Without means of transportation.

(laughs)

Where are you going, anyway, in this lockdown?

Which extreme travel destination would Jessica prefer?

I mean, that's like an oxymoron.

- This was a tricky one.

- That whole sentence is just wrong.

The Sahara Desert, the north pole,

the south pole, Amazon jungle.

Christ.

(laughs)

The Amazon jungle?

I'm gonna go with that.

I don't know.

You said the north pole!

- I did say the north pole.

- Yeah, that makes sense 'cause you could see, like,

the aurali borealis and the aurora borealis.

- There we go; that's the one!

Yeah, so that was only...

- Was that the only reason?

- The only thing I had.

- It's like when you get your marks back for an exam

and you're like, "Like, I knew that."

- Why did I take that B when I knew it was A?

- Question four:

Jessica would rather have a partner

who eats all the snacks without sharing

or who watches all the best Netflix shows alone?

Snacks without sharing.

- Obviously.

I'm a bit annoyed that you've watched

Grey's Anatomy already.

- Oh, but I watched that before I knew you!

(both laugh)

- Still, we can't discover it together.

- I think you're almost up to where I got to.

- Yes, we can watch through season eight together!

I'm really into Grey's Anatomy right now, okay?

- Question five:

If Jessica could sleep with a celebrity, who would it be?

Angelina Jolie...

- Half of these are male, by the way,

so you could just knock them out right now.

- Beyonce, Tom Hardy, Channing Tatum,

George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio.

Hmm.

(crickets chirp)

I'm, like, hovering over Rachel Adams

but I don't think she's your type.

That's more my type.

- Who do you think is my type on this list?

- I don't even know who Miranda Kerr is.

(laughs)

- You're okay.

Look, it's a list of eight people...

- Angelina Jolie.

- Four of them are male, so they're off the list.

- No, I know you don't fancy Angelina Jolie either

but she's more, like, kind of Lara Croft-y than,

you know, Rachel Adams, who's a bit more, like, mum-sy.

I'm gonna go for Angelina Jolie.

- Yeah, Claudia's type is mum-sy.

- Oh no, you hit Rachel Adams!

- I did, I did!

Because I would have wanted to go for Angelina Jolie,

but she would scare me.

- I know she would scare you, yeah, but like...

Question six:

Would Jessica rather be too busy or too bored?

- Easy.

- Too busy.

Where would Jessica rather live?

France, Italy, Japan, Brazil, Australia, Sweden.

- This was tough, actually, this one.

- Sweden.

- Ah!

- That's not tough!

- Damn, you know me.

- I mean, you've got Swedish heritage,

you like the climate there, they do four-day working week,

and they've got a good welfare system.

- If we could move to Sweden

and have our babies there right now, I would be down.

- Question eight:

Which would Jessica prefer?

Apple, Android.

Apple.

(both laugh)

Question nine:

Would Jessica rather be able to fly or be invisible?

Or, there's another random option there saying,

"Rather stay perfectly normal."

- Well, that one's out.

- Yeah.

I think you'd rather fly.

- Yes, you're right!

Because all I really want is the ability to move

and go places...

- Ten.

- Do things.

- If Jessica had a time machine,

she would travel to the past and meet ancestors

or travel to the future and meet grandchildren.

I think she'd rather meet her ancestors.

Oh, your face.

(laughs)

- Sorry, gave it away.

- Okay, okay, future grandchildren.

- We talk about this all the time!

- I know, but you like history.

- That we both want spoilers.

I love history but I want spoilers to my life.

- Question 11:

Which is more important to Jessica: love or money?

Hmm.

This is a hard one.

(imitates a buzzer)

No.

(laughs)

Question 12: Which movie genre would Jessica prefer?

Romance, horror, adventure, comedy,

drama/documentary, animation.

- She's gonna show--

By the way, animation is not--

Anyway, you can have all of those things be animated.

Animation itself is not a category.

This is gonna show how well you actually really know me.

Tricky, I know, tricky, tricky.

- I'm gonna go for adventure.

Yeah!

- You know me!

(both laugh)

- It's 'cause you love things like Fast and Furious.

- Any kind of big drama thriller.

- Jumanji, Jumanji 2.

Right.

What would make Jessica most happy?

More sleep, less work, more time with friends and family,

breath of fresh air traveling somewhere away from home,

more wealth.

More time with friends and family

is what you would probably know you should put

but I think really, if you were being honest with yourself,

say more wealth.

Yes!

- And you know why?

Because money means you can have all of those other things.

You know in that like rich house, poor house TV show?

Which is basically where they get a rich family--

- And they're like does money buy you happiness?

- Switch lives for a week.

Yeah, and it's like, "Is it better to be wealthy

"or to have nothing but all your close family?"

And it's like, I'm so sorry.

No, the poor family, like,

their parents are working 20 hours a day

and they don't see their kids and everyone's unhappy.

- Anyway.

- Anyway, sorry.

- Question 14:

- Just the kind of thing they say to keep the masses down.

You know, makes me angry.

- To Jessica, love is dead--

(laughs)

complex, everything, confusing, worthwhile.

Everything.

Question 15: Would Jessica prefer Coke or Pepsi?

Did you, like, make this quiz?

You didn't put in your own questions?

- I did not make this quiz.

- That's crazy!

I think Coke?

(laughs)

The 180 cans downstairs might have something to do with it.

Yay, calculating result!

Your score is 13!

Oh my God.

13 out of 15!

- High five.

Still high five.

- Mine was like...

The first one was like only seven questions--

wait, it's this one--

and then the next one, like, had 10 so I did two.

- Okay.

(laughs)

- Why did mine not work?

- I'm sorry your quiz did not work.

- All right, do the other one.

- But you did another quiz, so we're good.

Okay.

- What's your name?

- My name is Jessica, start!

Would I kill someone?

- You're answering questions for Claudia.

- No, I got that.