we use our hands for barriers. So one of the things you tend to see is people use their

hand to form a barrier between you and I so for example if you are talking to closely

to someone or maybe if you are talking to quickly, you tend to see people do nonverbal

jesters or they can be very politely to like and oh, okay thank you. There’s actually

an interesting in terms of hands, Barbara Peace and her husband they are bilingual themselves

from Australia and they did this really cool study which I replicated. A women is interacting

in like a low cut top with the man exposing her breast. And as the man talks to her he’s

using his hands as if he’s groping or feeling the women up. And then when they put a sweater

on her, she doesn’t, they don’t use their hands. So it’s very, very, it’s like subconsciously

we tend to do what we want with our hands, very interesting. Another thing we tend to

do, we tend to fidget a lot, a lot of anxious jesters tend to manifest in the hands somebody

wants to go. For example if you’re giving a presentation and somebody is going like

this, like knocking their hand up and down like this, you’re not, maybe they have some

other stuff going on in their life but the point is you’re not engaging them. Because

when you are engaging somebody they stop and they pay attention to you alright. So one

of the useful things I look for when I’m doing a presentation or the first like 15

or 20 minutes I want all those variables, I want all those nonverbal behaviors to stop

and I want the person to be like paying attention. Hands can manifest boredom, disinterest, hands

are also really, really useful to look for incongruence. All of a sudden I’m talking

about my girlfriend I don’t like one of her girlfriends, friends, so we’re talking

about her. No, no I like her and she cool, the top half of my vibe I’m giving you a

good smile, but the bottom, my fist is clenched. That’s incongruent. It saying I like her

because I know socially I have to say I like her she’s my girlfriend, but at the other

time my fist is doing what it’s clenched. You will see this at work environments. I

call this the Blackberry clench. You will see people hold their blackberries very tight

because it’s something they are mad about. It’s very interesting, it an incongruence

that’s what you’re looking for. Another thing we tend to do with our hands, we tend

to touch ourselves or caress ourselves. That’s right an attraction, one of the ways, one

of the useful things to do is to see how people play with objects. Playing with objects in

women is usually a sign of attraction, now there’s a difference. Let’s say you could

be sitting there with your drink in your hand right and somebody could be going like, right.

That’s not a sign of attraction. Attraction when people play with objects, when women

play with objects it’s a light fondle, like the bottom of a glass to like slowly play

with it. It’s like a caressing it. Also like in a bar, a ar environment people will

use it to form a barrier, it’s like when you are talking to someone, but after you

get comfortable, people tend to move their hand down and open up more.